Thursday, 22 May 2008
Monday, 19 May 2008
i.t.k.
Plenty of rumours doing the rounds at the minute. The usual transfer gossip, made up, posted on message boards and then appearing in the tabloids 3 days later is making up most of it. And the ITK’s continue to churn out their usual carefully written, ambiguous information allowing us some minor entertainment prior to the window re-opening.
This was posted on the COYS forum. Enjoy:
None of this is brain surgery. All pretty much stuff you could conclude yourself in the pub or on the terraces. Same goes with all the other crop of alleged inside-information that’s hemorrhaging the message boards, day in day out. But these guys are turned into heroes if their gamble of a prediction pays off. I'm not denying that on very rare occassions some people do know something of note and state so. Otherwise - like the above quoted information - it's nothing specific, nothing nailed on. Did I call this entertainment earlier? Blush.
This was posted on the COYS forum. Enjoy:
dont post much info and only like to when im sure its very very good info and mabe only once or twice removed from the horses so to speak.
ramos in spain on holiday...but a working holiday, levy ready at a moments notice to fly out and do any deals...ramos looking at spanish goalie (have no name but we have been linked) and a spanish left sider.
Berbatov
been told if someone comes in for him before start of june for the money we want he goes ....if they dont come in with the money he stays.....that is the bottom line and berbatov accepts this as he respects ramos and understands that every player will have to do a full pre season under his regime....so i can assume from that our business will be conducted quickly (subject to those at the euros)
ramos has told levy that he cant have a business and a champs lge football club. ramos told levy everyone is gonna have to wipe their mouths of any profits for at least two seasons and even go as far as to go into an operating loss 'gambling' on breaking the top 4. ramos has told the board that there is almost a religious fanatacism of support that will go through the roof if we break the top 4 and the money will go through the roof too...its all about the current board taking the risk or not.
only 2 players deemed first squad ability at present. berbatov and woodgate...bale and hutton have the most potential to get into his plans keane steed zok are at best squad if he gets the players he wants ...the rest can fcuk off as far as he is concerned.
ramos doesn't want players that are cast offs from chelsea etc...he expects the club o challenging to sign the same players that manure and co are after and is confident that his status as a coach can lure some of them to come especially the spanish portugese and S.Americans.
So there you have it.....hope to get some more, sorry there isnt anything more juicy with regards to named names but imho that is great that no names come from ramos as he is really that proffesional.
take it or leave as to what ive said, i know where its from and i know that its good info
None of this is brain surgery. All pretty much stuff you could conclude yourself in the pub or on the terraces. Same goes with all the other crop of alleged inside-information that’s hemorrhaging the message boards, day in day out. But these guys are turned into heroes if their gamble of a prediction pays off. I'm not denying that on very rare occassions some people do know something of note and state so. Otherwise - like the above quoted information - it's nothing specific, nothing nailed on. Did I call this entertainment earlier? Blush.
Yoof! A critical look back at a history of discontent
All the hope for the current crop of academy players should include a disclaimer: Players unlikely to succeed at top level.
We’ve seen so many came and go and its asking for a miracle, an epic fluke (akin to what Man Utd had with their group of kids in the mid-90’s) to find yourself seeing more than three of our kids making the first team and then international football.
Our development has been crap, no question. The moment we do see a reserve player promoted, we automatically believe they will be a major success. Instead, they turn out to be shit. The problem is that because some of them are homebred and come through the youth and reserve teams there’s a hope they will achieve greatness because out of desperation we want someone to come through the ranks.
Here are several reminders of why we should not get too excited just yet:
Nick Barmby
Tottenham’s and England’s answer to Peter Beardsley, without the burden of that face and hunchback. Has had an ok career without ever excelling. Left Spurs because he wanted to return to the North of England. As a young lad looked exceptional, but hardly set the world on fire. Now at Hull and could be playing Prem football again next season if they overcome Bristol City.
Andy Turner
Could dribble a little. That’s about it.
Darren Caskey
A perfect example of how under 18’s don’t always continue to progress onwards and upwards. He kept Scholes out of most of the junior England sides. An England U18 Captain. Never anything more than that.
S*l Campbell
The one success we have stabs us in the back.
Ian Walker
Another player that fooled his way into the England set-up. Became a liability much like Robinson has become. Anyone who smiles when they’ve conceded a goal can’t be trusted.
Stephen Carr
Left Spurs to go to Newcastle for European football. Genius. Great going forward, not so great defending. People remember that goal against Man Utd. The thing is, when all you can do is remember the odd goal that usually means they did fuck all else.
Steffen Iversen
Klinsmann once said he was the new Klinsmann. Footballers are a bunch of piss-takers at the best of times. Never once showed any suggestion of progressing yet we all just sat about and waited for him to become a decent player.
Jonathan Blondel
A bit of a lightweight, but here’s the problem. Blondel had talent. Nowhere near the level some Spurs fans and Pleat would have you know. But the club completely mis-managed the lad. Hardly played, when he did it was out of position. He managed to escape. Has apparently turned into a half-decen player. Strong (looks like he beefed up) and with an excellent range of passing. All it took was for him to fly out of N17.
Reto Ziegler
Looked quite good on occasions but obviously must have flattered to deceive as whatever he was doing on the training pitch led to him being dropped, loaned out and sold. Was 18 when he went straight into the team. Cue plenty of ‘WORLD CLASS’ comments and other ridiculous statements.
Johnnie Jackson
Jackson for England indeed. Perfect example of how mediocrity at the club blinds the supporters to the truth. Jackson was shit. No fault of his own for being selected but he is a Championship player at best. And that’s been well proven since his departure. This is the typical standard of ‘quality’ we produce.
Dean Marney
Scoring two goals in that game against Everton more or less acted like several nails in the coffin. He was a bit beefy therefore we got the Gascoigne comparisons. Or maybe that was Mark Yates. I forget. Marney again is an example of players we produce that are not good enough for the first team yet we stick them in it.
Doesn’t make great reading.
We’ve seen so many came and go and its asking for a miracle, an epic fluke (akin to what Man Utd had with their group of kids in the mid-90’s) to find yourself seeing more than three of our kids making the first team and then international football.
Our development has been crap, no question. The moment we do see a reserve player promoted, we automatically believe they will be a major success. Instead, they turn out to be shit. The problem is that because some of them are homebred and come through the youth and reserve teams there’s a hope they will achieve greatness because out of desperation we want someone to come through the ranks.
Here are several reminders of why we should not get too excited just yet:
Nick Barmby
Tottenham’s and England’s answer to Peter Beardsley, without the burden of that face and hunchback. Has had an ok career without ever excelling. Left Spurs because he wanted to return to the North of England. As a young lad looked exceptional, but hardly set the world on fire. Now at Hull and could be playing Prem football again next season if they overcome Bristol City.
Andy Turner
Could dribble a little. That’s about it.
Darren Caskey
A perfect example of how under 18’s don’t always continue to progress onwards and upwards. He kept Scholes out of most of the junior England sides. An England U18 Captain. Never anything more than that.
S*l Campbell
The one success we have stabs us in the back.
Ian Walker
Another player that fooled his way into the England set-up. Became a liability much like Robinson has become. Anyone who smiles when they’ve conceded a goal can’t be trusted.
Stephen Carr
Left Spurs to go to Newcastle for European football. Genius. Great going forward, not so great defending. People remember that goal against Man Utd. The thing is, when all you can do is remember the odd goal that usually means they did fuck all else.
Steffen Iversen
Klinsmann once said he was the new Klinsmann. Footballers are a bunch of piss-takers at the best of times. Never once showed any suggestion of progressing yet we all just sat about and waited for him to become a decent player.
Jonathan Blondel
A bit of a lightweight, but here’s the problem. Blondel had talent. Nowhere near the level some Spurs fans and Pleat would have you know. But the club completely mis-managed the lad. Hardly played, when he did it was out of position. He managed to escape. Has apparently turned into a half-decen player. Strong (looks like he beefed up) and with an excellent range of passing. All it took was for him to fly out of N17.
Reto Ziegler
Looked quite good on occasions but obviously must have flattered to deceive as whatever he was doing on the training pitch led to him being dropped, loaned out and sold. Was 18 when he went straight into the team. Cue plenty of ‘WORLD CLASS’ comments and other ridiculous statements.
Johnnie Jackson
Jackson for England indeed. Perfect example of how mediocrity at the club blinds the supporters to the truth. Jackson was shit. No fault of his own for being selected but he is a Championship player at best. And that’s been well proven since his departure. This is the typical standard of ‘quality’ we produce.
Dean Marney
Scoring two goals in that game against Everton more or less acted like several nails in the coffin. He was a bit beefy therefore we got the Gascoigne comparisons. Or maybe that was Mark Yates. I forget. Marney again is an example of players we produce that are not good enough for the first team yet we stick them in it.
Doesn’t make great reading.
Tuesday, 13 May 2008
Yoof!
The Spurs kids have done it again, another final, and another piece of silverware. 2-1 against Sporting Lisbon in the Tournoi International de Football de Monthey in Switzerland on Sunday.
That's three major youth tournament finals this season (we won the the Eurofoot in Belgium in August and were runners-up in the Dusseldorf International in March).
The team:
Spurs: Button, Smith, Hutchins, Kasim, Martin, Butcher, Rose (Hutton, 45), Livermore, Pekhart (Olsen, 65), Mason, Townsend. Unused subs: Jansson, Mtandari, Obika, Fraser-Allen.
Pekhart, Olsen, Rose, Townsend.....Hopefully this lot will save us a few bob in the transfer market. Unless Damien 'Chequebook' Comolli spots another £16M bargin.
That's three major youth tournament finals this season (we won the the Eurofoot in Belgium in August and were runners-up in the Dusseldorf International in March).
The team:
Spurs: Button, Smith, Hutchins, Kasim, Martin, Butcher, Rose (Hutton, 45), Livermore, Pekhart (Olsen, 65), Mason, Townsend. Unused subs: Jansson, Mtandari, Obika, Fraser-Allen.
Pekhart, Olsen, Rose, Townsend.....Hopefully this lot will save us a few bob in the transfer market. Unless Damien 'Chequebook' Comolli spots another £16M bargin.
stat attack
- We have the joint highest stadium capacity at 99% (Manchester Utd and Arsenal being the other teams)
- We've hit the woodwork 15 times - more than any other team. Time for the Soccer AM crossbar challenge.
- 80 goals have been scored at White Hart Lane - more than any other club.
- And the one that sums up Ramos main problem that needs resolving.....33 points lost from a winning position. Thats more than any other club and equals the all time record shared Wimbledon and Chelsea. Shocking stuff.
Monday, 12 May 2008
Done and Dusted
It’s a tradition for me to dress up on the final home game of the season to further highlight and bring exposure to my crusade against Levy’s incompetent reign as chairman - and this year was no different. In the past I have been naked (more of a dress down there), and chained to a turnstile. Last season I was kitted out as Harry Hotspur, in armour with plastic inflatable sword. But this season I went beyond the call of duty. I shaved my head, stuck on a pair of glasses, a suit and wore a mouth mask which allowed for the illusion of a permanent smug smile. Monopoly money stuffed in pockets and lettering on the back of my jacket stating: PLEASE BUY THE OPUS, NEED MONEY FOR CAVIAR ADDICTION. As I skipped down the High Road, I randomly jumped out in front of Spurs fans shouting:
“I’m ripping you off!”
“10% rise on your season ticket”
“Renewal by the deadline otherwise you’re banned for life”
“The bagels are never fresh”
“New stadium, are you ‘aving a laugh….is he ‘aving a laugh?”
“Let’s ground share with West Ham!”
Yes, tonight Matthew, I’m going to be…..Daniel Levy.
Within twenty minutes of arriving at the Park Lane end of the ground, I was jumped by a group of Spurs fans who were also in fancy dress. I got a taste of Levy’s abject existence if he was to relegate himself from the high life and interact with the common man as I lay on the floor like a hedgehog all curled up and motionless while Ali G, Indiana Jones, a Roman centurion and a fat bloke in sandals kicked the shit out of me. And I allowed it. I allowed it as a testament of my loyalty to my campaign to oust the chairman. Yes, they were kicking and punching me. But in essence that was Levy on the ground begging for mercy. I made myself into a living breathing visual statement of his mis-management and ordinary salt of the earth Spurs fans instinctively reacted by beating me up. As they walked away laughing, with other fans having witnessed the incident, I knew the impact made had far reaching implications. By the time you read this the video will up on Youtube and thousands will see what I created. Levy defeated by fans.
Once I dusted myself off and walked through the turnstiles, nobody took much notice of my costume. They just assumed I was a git. I burnt my season ticket in the men’s bog. Nobody noticed. And when I took my seat, people were far too busy reading the new kits catalogue because the club knows we all want to spend loads and loads of our hard earned money on a new kit and training jacket just before we spend over £600 on a new season ticket.
The game itself was a joke. But then every single match since the Cup final, bar the 4-4 draw with Chelsea (although our defending for all of their goals was poor) has been nigh shambolic. We haven’t had a decent full 90 minutes since we lifted that piece of silverware at Wembley. Now, it’s difficult to gauge whether the teams performance in the league is down to bad management on the part of Ramos and Poyet or laziness on the part of the players. You could even argue that Ramos hasn’t achieved anything in the league, with regards to progression and development and style of play. We have looked lethargic and soft for months now. Is it because more than half the players are on their way out of the club? If so, why not play more youngsters? Maybe our first-teamers don’t think they need to bother trying week in week out knowing they had UEFA Cup football next season all sorted. Why should they when they get paid no matter what?
It’s akin to you or me getting up for work in the morning, getting to our desk and then proceeding to do nothing all day other than browse the net on forums and day dream and then disappear for two hours at lunch, browsing cd’s at HMV - and still get paid your wages, and when someone questions your effort you say, “Well I turned up, didn’t I? What else do you want?”
£20,000 - £50,000 some of them pick up for doing fuck all. What a hard life. What a struggle. Lennon wasn’t anywhere near the squad on Sunday. Apparently out drinking in Loughton the previous night, he was spotted in his Ferrari leaving WHL just after 2pm. I’m guessing he had an eyebrow appointment he just couldn’t cancel. From the looks of Jenas in the first half I’m thinking he also spent Saturday night in Loughton boozing it up. No pace in midfield and no spark upfront. And Dawson in defence. It’s what nightmares are made of. Dawson and his England aspirations are always good for a laugh. Too many of our players open their mouths and talk far too often about what they want to be achieving when in reality it’s just not going to happen. Delusions of grandeur on and off the pitch. Liverpool were nothing special, bar Gerrard and Torres. But we had no equivalents to inspire something out of nothing like they so easily did.
Instead we got Berbatov doing his utmost to do nothing, making sure no last gasp injury would ruin a move away to Italy or Spain or Chelsea (there, I said it). He hardly tracked back or closed down (something that Fergie wouldn’t stand for). Everyone else was just as poor. Based on this season as a whole I’d keep Keane (fantastic goal scoring record), Woodgate, O’Hara (decent enough squad player), Hutton and Steed. King looks like he’s sticking around unless the doctors say otherwise during the summer months, but everyone else is dead weight.
Once Bale is back and Modric is settled, the escape from this bland abyss of shit will be truly complete if we can avoid any traditional Comolli signings (i.e. Zokora, Kaboul) and bring in players that are actually capable of giving something back. I say that every year, so history would suggest we are screwed. Again.
Talking of signings, maybe someone from the club can explain why Gunter wasn't involved more after the Cup final (is he injured?) and as for Gil- the best is yet come -berto, awful.......just awful awful awful.
Highlights of the game included a brawl in the East Stand between supporters. No idea if it was Liverpool fans in amongst our own, or the usual in-house fighting over much ado about nothing. Loads of punches thrown, kicking to the floor, pushing and goading. Must have been another Daniel Levy look-a-like at the centre of it. An other brother on a mission. Not a single police officer in sight during all this high drama. Just bewildered stewards watching on in fear. The police were all too busy at the various tube stations in London due to us, West Ham and Chelsea playing at home. The brawl was followed by coin/programme throwing at one of the executive boxes (just above where the trouble was) which had Liverpool fans in it. Classy stuff there lads. Especially as one of the Liverpool fans was about ten years old. The events at the JJB and Stamford Bridge were getting more cheers than anything happening on the pitch. Dire stuff all round. The sun was wasting its shine on our lot.
So that’s it. End of the season. The true test of Ramos managerial skills will run the gauntlet from the first game of the 2009 season. Apart from the Cup run we haven’t shown any evidence of improvement. There has been no swagger since last season’s exploits, nothing to match the UEFA Cup run. This years effort was abysmal, a continuous struggle from one game to the next.
From the moment that the club decided to get rid of Jol and decided that doing it publicly would be the best route to go down, we haven’t fully recovered. There have been moments. We have entertained. Scored a ton of goals and conceded us many. There’s been plenty of positives, but far too many depressing negatives. 30% of all goals conceded have come from outside the box is one of my personal favs, especially when Fulham are send in that table with just 14%. Getting rid of Robinson should save us about 18 points.
I can only hope that the reason we have been so poor is because so many players know their future is away from the club. Robinson has dyed his hair blond. Highlight of the season for him (ooh pun). He got a rousing ‘England’s number one’ during the lap of honour. It felt like the singing faithful knew this would be the last time we would see him as a Spurs player so they choose to remember better times. He waved. All very low key. Much like Berbatov’s wave as his name was sang out. All the best in the Champions League.
The 4-4 Villa draw, the 5-1, the Reading 6-4, the Cup final. It’s been a bit mad.
We’ve also gone from having a steady reliable defence (the two Jol years) to having one that just can’t defend at all. A return to the status quo then. Our home record has gone to shit. We still can’t take set pieces (apart from O’Hara corners) and still can’t kill teams off.
It’s unfair (repeating myself) to be critical of Ramos. He managed a win over Arsenal. Jol never did. We didn’t choke in either of those semi-finals and held our nerve to beat Chelsea in the final. Disappointingly, we failed in Europe – but too often this was down to the players rather than the tactics. At least that’s what I prefer to believe at the moment.
Ramos has done a damage limitation job. He has assessed the squad and from the looks of it has been winding down the season because there is nothing more for him to learn about the current batch. He has done a decent job considering that the season was practically lost when he joined (the league push for Europe was dead). Regardless of Kaboul’s rant about how we would have won the Cup with Jol in charge. We would not have won it under Jol. He had his chance the previous season.
Robinson, Lee, Kaboul, Chimbonda, Tainio, Stalteri, Cerny, Rocha (does he even exist?), Gardner, Boateng, Ghaly and Berbatov will all be gone. The other rumour is that Defoe’s transfer to Pompey included a deal that will allow Diarra to join Spurs. Arsenal wouldn’t sell him to Spurs but whether he was bought by Harry with the intention of allowing Spurs to ‘swap’ him for Defoe or that it’s just turned out that way is up to your own imagination. Defoe has apparently cost Pompey just £3M. Would explain Diarra’s ‘stepping stone’ comment 5 minutes after signing for them. Although with Pompey in a proper Cup final and above us in the Prem, it’s not so much a stepping stone but more of a trip into a muddy puddle.
Seville had a swagger about them under Ramos. I’ll be happy if we can have a bit of that about us again. And another 5th spot finish would make up for a truly unspectacular 11th.
As I left the ground, with a summer of Englandless football to look forward too, one thing sat in my mind as I contemplated next season…………will my hair grow back? That and……Here we go again.
“I’m ripping you off!”
“10% rise on your season ticket”
“Renewal by the deadline otherwise you’re banned for life”
“The bagels are never fresh”
“New stadium, are you ‘aving a laugh….is he ‘aving a laugh?”
“Let’s ground share with West Ham!”
Yes, tonight Matthew, I’m going to be…..Daniel Levy.
Within twenty minutes of arriving at the Park Lane end of the ground, I was jumped by a group of Spurs fans who were also in fancy dress. I got a taste of Levy’s abject existence if he was to relegate himself from the high life and interact with the common man as I lay on the floor like a hedgehog all curled up and motionless while Ali G, Indiana Jones, a Roman centurion and a fat bloke in sandals kicked the shit out of me. And I allowed it. I allowed it as a testament of my loyalty to my campaign to oust the chairman. Yes, they were kicking and punching me. But in essence that was Levy on the ground begging for mercy. I made myself into a living breathing visual statement of his mis-management and ordinary salt of the earth Spurs fans instinctively reacted by beating me up. As they walked away laughing, with other fans having witnessed the incident, I knew the impact made had far reaching implications. By the time you read this the video will up on Youtube and thousands will see what I created. Levy defeated by fans.
Once I dusted myself off and walked through the turnstiles, nobody took much notice of my costume. They just assumed I was a git. I burnt my season ticket in the men’s bog. Nobody noticed. And when I took my seat, people were far too busy reading the new kits catalogue because the club knows we all want to spend loads and loads of our hard earned money on a new kit and training jacket just before we spend over £600 on a new season ticket.
The game itself was a joke. But then every single match since the Cup final, bar the 4-4 draw with Chelsea (although our defending for all of their goals was poor) has been nigh shambolic. We haven’t had a decent full 90 minutes since we lifted that piece of silverware at Wembley. Now, it’s difficult to gauge whether the teams performance in the league is down to bad management on the part of Ramos and Poyet or laziness on the part of the players. You could even argue that Ramos hasn’t achieved anything in the league, with regards to progression and development and style of play. We have looked lethargic and soft for months now. Is it because more than half the players are on their way out of the club? If so, why not play more youngsters? Maybe our first-teamers don’t think they need to bother trying week in week out knowing they had UEFA Cup football next season all sorted. Why should they when they get paid no matter what?
It’s akin to you or me getting up for work in the morning, getting to our desk and then proceeding to do nothing all day other than browse the net on forums and day dream and then disappear for two hours at lunch, browsing cd’s at HMV - and still get paid your wages, and when someone questions your effort you say, “Well I turned up, didn’t I? What else do you want?”
£20,000 - £50,000 some of them pick up for doing fuck all. What a hard life. What a struggle. Lennon wasn’t anywhere near the squad on Sunday. Apparently out drinking in Loughton the previous night, he was spotted in his Ferrari leaving WHL just after 2pm. I’m guessing he had an eyebrow appointment he just couldn’t cancel. From the looks of Jenas in the first half I’m thinking he also spent Saturday night in Loughton boozing it up. No pace in midfield and no spark upfront. And Dawson in defence. It’s what nightmares are made of. Dawson and his England aspirations are always good for a laugh. Too many of our players open their mouths and talk far too often about what they want to be achieving when in reality it’s just not going to happen. Delusions of grandeur on and off the pitch. Liverpool were nothing special, bar Gerrard and Torres. But we had no equivalents to inspire something out of nothing like they so easily did.
Instead we got Berbatov doing his utmost to do nothing, making sure no last gasp injury would ruin a move away to Italy or Spain or Chelsea (there, I said it). He hardly tracked back or closed down (something that Fergie wouldn’t stand for). Everyone else was just as poor. Based on this season as a whole I’d keep Keane (fantastic goal scoring record), Woodgate, O’Hara (decent enough squad player), Hutton and Steed. King looks like he’s sticking around unless the doctors say otherwise during the summer months, but everyone else is dead weight.
Once Bale is back and Modric is settled, the escape from this bland abyss of shit will be truly complete if we can avoid any traditional Comolli signings (i.e. Zokora, Kaboul) and bring in players that are actually capable of giving something back. I say that every year, so history would suggest we are screwed. Again.
Talking of signings, maybe someone from the club can explain why Gunter wasn't involved more after the Cup final (is he injured?) and as for Gil- the best is yet come -berto, awful.......just awful awful awful.
Highlights of the game included a brawl in the East Stand between supporters. No idea if it was Liverpool fans in amongst our own, or the usual in-house fighting over much ado about nothing. Loads of punches thrown, kicking to the floor, pushing and goading. Must have been another Daniel Levy look-a-like at the centre of it. An other brother on a mission. Not a single police officer in sight during all this high drama. Just bewildered stewards watching on in fear. The police were all too busy at the various tube stations in London due to us, West Ham and Chelsea playing at home. The brawl was followed by coin/programme throwing at one of the executive boxes (just above where the trouble was) which had Liverpool fans in it. Classy stuff there lads. Especially as one of the Liverpool fans was about ten years old. The events at the JJB and Stamford Bridge were getting more cheers than anything happening on the pitch. Dire stuff all round. The sun was wasting its shine on our lot.
So that’s it. End of the season. The true test of Ramos managerial skills will run the gauntlet from the first game of the 2009 season. Apart from the Cup run we haven’t shown any evidence of improvement. There has been no swagger since last season’s exploits, nothing to match the UEFA Cup run. This years effort was abysmal, a continuous struggle from one game to the next.
From the moment that the club decided to get rid of Jol and decided that doing it publicly would be the best route to go down, we haven’t fully recovered. There have been moments. We have entertained. Scored a ton of goals and conceded us many. There’s been plenty of positives, but far too many depressing negatives. 30% of all goals conceded have come from outside the box is one of my personal favs, especially when Fulham are send in that table with just 14%. Getting rid of Robinson should save us about 18 points.
I can only hope that the reason we have been so poor is because so many players know their future is away from the club. Robinson has dyed his hair blond. Highlight of the season for him (ooh pun). He got a rousing ‘England’s number one’ during the lap of honour. It felt like the singing faithful knew this would be the last time we would see him as a Spurs player so they choose to remember better times. He waved. All very low key. Much like Berbatov’s wave as his name was sang out. All the best in the Champions League.
The 4-4 Villa draw, the 5-1, the Reading 6-4, the Cup final. It’s been a bit mad.
We’ve also gone from having a steady reliable defence (the two Jol years) to having one that just can’t defend at all. A return to the status quo then. Our home record has gone to shit. We still can’t take set pieces (apart from O’Hara corners) and still can’t kill teams off.
It’s unfair (repeating myself) to be critical of Ramos. He managed a win over Arsenal. Jol never did. We didn’t choke in either of those semi-finals and held our nerve to beat Chelsea in the final. Disappointingly, we failed in Europe – but too often this was down to the players rather than the tactics. At least that’s what I prefer to believe at the moment.
Ramos has done a damage limitation job. He has assessed the squad and from the looks of it has been winding down the season because there is nothing more for him to learn about the current batch. He has done a decent job considering that the season was practically lost when he joined (the league push for Europe was dead). Regardless of Kaboul’s rant about how we would have won the Cup with Jol in charge. We would not have won it under Jol. He had his chance the previous season.
Robinson, Lee, Kaboul, Chimbonda, Tainio, Stalteri, Cerny, Rocha (does he even exist?), Gardner, Boateng, Ghaly and Berbatov will all be gone. The other rumour is that Defoe’s transfer to Pompey included a deal that will allow Diarra to join Spurs. Arsenal wouldn’t sell him to Spurs but whether he was bought by Harry with the intention of allowing Spurs to ‘swap’ him for Defoe or that it’s just turned out that way is up to your own imagination. Defoe has apparently cost Pompey just £3M. Would explain Diarra’s ‘stepping stone’ comment 5 minutes after signing for them. Although with Pompey in a proper Cup final and above us in the Prem, it’s not so much a stepping stone but more of a trip into a muddy puddle.
Seville had a swagger about them under Ramos. I’ll be happy if we can have a bit of that about us again. And another 5th spot finish would make up for a truly unspectacular 11th.
As I left the ground, with a summer of Englandless football to look forward too, one thing sat in my mind as I contemplated next season…………will my hair grow back? That and……Here we go again.
Friday, 9 May 2008
Dear Mr Levy....Whatever happened to Audere est Facere?
Dear Mr Levy,
A round of applause to everyone associated with Tottenham Hotspur, Puma and Mansion for regressing the Spurs kit to a new level of cheap mediocre averageness. Anticipation leading up to the unveiling was akin to waiting for the Keeley Hazell sex-tape video to complete download. Imagine the unparalleled disappointment when all you got from Keeley was a lacklustre blow-job followed by a blokes arse bobbing up and down for ten minutes. The farcical launch of the new kit has left me bitterly bitterly limp.
Well done Mr Chairman. Thank you for retaining the lame light blue travesty. Thank you for retaining the chocolate brown shirt, one that will forever remind us of the day diarrhoea ended our Champions League quest. Oh, its black, not chocolate. My mistake. Still the colour of shit. Thank you for the Chinese wording. If making an impact in Asia is so important we could have asked Pascal Chimbonda to hold the Olympic torch. In Tibet. Without security.
Next season, I'm certain the current paragraph to be found on the home shirt will be extended further with 'Middle of the Road' added to the end of it, just after the further addition of 'We beat the scum 5-1 - buy the DVD in the Spurs Shop'.
Whatever happened to Audere est Facere? You want to know what happened to it? It got dragged screaming by its hair into a dark alley by a speccy bald-headed suspect and brutally mugged the shit out of. We've gone from having Latin on our badge to replacing it with its soppy English translation to then bastardising it further with the weak and embarrassing 'To Wear is to Do' marketing tag-line. All mashed together in a cringe-worthy over-dramatic unveiling that makes me taste vomit in my mouth when I see the pictures and watch the player interviews as they salivate over what is, fundamentally a fucking shirt.
Distinctively Bland
Well Mr Levy, I've got a tag-line for you:
"To take a shit through your letterbox is what I feel like doing to do" you insensitive money-grabbing shande.
Next time, I'll be happy to help out. All I need is a plain white shirt as my canvas and I'll scat and Roman shower my way to glory. I'll produce the same result for half the price. I just can't see how those three shirts were held up high, with everyone agreeing in unison; "YES, THAT'S IT, THEY'RE PERFECT!"
You'll have more chance of selling these new shirts if you packaged them up in a small box and labelled it as 'The Tottenham Hotspur Opus - Price £4000'.
Why the emphasis on 'Casino and Poker'? Everyone knows what Mansion is. They're the company Manchester United blew-out for AIG. Do Mansion lack so much confidence in their 'product' that they need to include a footnote? Do you see Utd adding 'American International Group Inc - Travel Health Motor Household Insurance' on their shirts? Of course not, you fachadick.
Yet we appease the mighty Mansion. Why stop there? How about a Roulette table replacing Robinson in goal. It'll be far more of a distraction for the opposition forwards for a start. Chimbonda, ideal craps dealer IMO. Slot machines in the men's bogs, because we need to be doing something in-between all the smoking, pissing on the floor and singing that God awful racist Adebayor song. Nicky Santoro in central midfield and its peek-a-boo, you fucks, you! Onto a winner for sure, no?
All this is compounded further by the fact that Berbatov wasn't at the launch. Yes, worst kept secret of all time - we all know he is on his way out of N17 and onto a 'top top club'. Although even if by some miracle had he decided to stay at the club prior to this shirt launch, I'd expect him to have purposely attempted to contract leprosy to avoid turning up for the photo-shoot. Although looking at the state of Woodgate, you'd think he was infected.
We know Berbatov is gone, but how depressing is it that you proceed to parade Jenas which means he is firmly in the future plans of the manager. We are on the verge of paying up to 10% increases on season tickets for the privilege of screaming and shouting at a player incapable of playing, running aimlessly around in a shit cheap shirt, all the while I'm surrounded by cunts wearing said same shit shirt with their 'nick names' printed on the back because 'Oh look, my nick name is Trigger, please be my friend' - 'No I will not be your friend, you fucking man-child, grow up, you're forty years old and you've bought a replica shirt you melter' while you, Mr Levy, gag on fifty pound notes up in the directors box while Comolli massages Cristal onto your back. And people wonder why other people freeze their shit and create model effigy's out of them and send them first class* in the post with an accompanying letter written in blood stating: "YOU ARE DESTROYING THE VERY FABRIC OF THIS CLUB". Its a self-fulfilling prophecy of depression you are forcing upon us.
*Its recorded delivery, so if you can drop me an email or text when you receive it, that would be grand. If you got time, a quick photo (mobile phone will do) with you by the side of the effigy would be so cool. Need it for the 'Levy is the anti-Christ' Facebook page.
Ignoring the wording on the shirts, Puma appear to be lacking any true creative juice when it comes to changing the bits that aren't white. Somehow they have managed to make the white even more bland and uninspiring by depressing the other bits around it. The shirts pretty much sum up the club in its current state. Its Carling Cup all over. If we had more clout we would not have anything other than the red Mansion logo on the shirt. In fact, if we were any good, we would force them to change their logo from red to blue. But no, instead they get to write a fucking memo on it. We're a walking ,talking, running note-pad, stuck on your TV every so often when you've tuned into Sky and Setanta.
So what does the future hold? What next Mr Levy? Do you plan to lay waste the famous Cockerel? You've already had Chirpy go through one nip and tuck session, so what next? Maybe a Cockerel isn't sexy enough for this new era of fashion you aborted, bloody coat-hanger in hand. How about Barry the Bagel? It's zippy, hip and fresh. I took Harry (from Harry Hotspur) changed the 'H' to a 'B' so it works alongside Bagel (Harry, Barry - same difference, its not like you sell Shakespeare in the Spurs shop). And Bagels are more popular than Cockerels with attached spurs (when was the last time you saw a cock fight other than some Mexicans laying bets on one during an episode of The Shield?). There's also the commercial factor to consider. A bagel is a bagel. Its unmistakable.
But our current badge.....is that a cockerel or a chicken? A football or a basketball? Its all a bit too ambiguous for the modern day market, especially if you're going too tap into the US and Far East.
Barry the Bagel mascot - an artist's impression
The badge (a smiling bagel, with a cheeky wink - think SpongeBob Square Pants but edible) is far more marketable with the kids. Considering we are losing a whole generation of youngsters to the likes of Chelsea, we can win them back with a talking walking skipping Bagel from the Lane. Barry could have his own cartoon show with cameos from the players. You could even shift Kaboul full-time across to the show, the lumbering clown.
But that's never going to happen is it Daniel. Barry the Bagel is just a deluded dream much like the one you're fulfilling at the moment as a Premiership chairman. And you'd have copyright issues with Barry Bagels (est. 1972).
We don't know if we're coming or going at the minute.
You even delayed the announcement on the potential new/or rebuilt 50,000 stadium after various newfeeds run a story about the re-development of WHL. Your official statement was a dross of soundbites that mean nothing other than, you don't really have a clue where this club will be sitting, geographically, 3-5 years from now. Wouldn't have to rely on selling copies of The Opus if you had an extra 15,000 seats. By the way, have you heard of the term, flogging a dead horse? Two words for you: Credit Crunch. Nobody is going to spend 4 fucking grand on a coffee table book. Stop with the serialisation on the official site. We know it exits. You've already wheeled out legend after legend, promoting the damn thing during the half-time intervals. Nobody wants to own a book which you need to read wearing protective gloves and move about the house in a wheelbarrow. Have you not seen the way the masses eat pies on match-days? They take a copy of the Opus home with them, its likely to be sticky with spilt coco-pops within days.
So onwards we go. Final game of the season, and the hilarity of the summer transfer season will be upon us. On Sunday, I will bid my farewell to Berbatov. And no matter the police or stewards present, will stand proud as I burn my season ticket and newspaper cut-outs of the new kit in protest of yet another season of supporter-repression.
Don't hide behind the Carling Cup for too long Mr Levy. Its cold in the shadows.
Yours Sincerely,
Spooky
A round of applause to everyone associated with Tottenham Hotspur, Puma and Mansion for regressing the Spurs kit to a new level of cheap mediocre averageness. Anticipation leading up to the unveiling was akin to waiting for the Keeley Hazell sex-tape video to complete download. Imagine the unparalleled disappointment when all you got from Keeley was a lacklustre blow-job followed by a blokes arse bobbing up and down for ten minutes. The farcical launch of the new kit has left me bitterly bitterly limp.
Well done Mr Chairman. Thank you for retaining the lame light blue travesty. Thank you for retaining the chocolate brown shirt, one that will forever remind us of the day diarrhoea ended our Champions League quest. Oh, its black, not chocolate. My mistake. Still the colour of shit. Thank you for the Chinese wording. If making an impact in Asia is so important we could have asked Pascal Chimbonda to hold the Olympic torch. In Tibet. Without security.
Next season, I'm certain the current paragraph to be found on the home shirt will be extended further with 'Middle of the Road' added to the end of it, just after the further addition of 'We beat the scum 5-1 - buy the DVD in the Spurs Shop'.
Whatever happened to Audere est Facere? You want to know what happened to it? It got dragged screaming by its hair into a dark alley by a speccy bald-headed suspect and brutally mugged the shit out of. We've gone from having Latin on our badge to replacing it with its soppy English translation to then bastardising it further with the weak and embarrassing 'To Wear is to Do' marketing tag-line. All mashed together in a cringe-worthy over-dramatic unveiling that makes me taste vomit in my mouth when I see the pictures and watch the player interviews as they salivate over what is, fundamentally a fucking shirt.
Distinctively Bland
Well Mr Levy, I've got a tag-line for you:
"To take a shit through your letterbox is what I feel like doing to do" you insensitive money-grabbing shande.
Next time, I'll be happy to help out. All I need is a plain white shirt as my canvas and I'll scat and Roman shower my way to glory. I'll produce the same result for half the price. I just can't see how those three shirts were held up high, with everyone agreeing in unison; "YES, THAT'S IT, THEY'RE PERFECT!"
You'll have more chance of selling these new shirts if you packaged them up in a small box and labelled it as 'The Tottenham Hotspur Opus - Price £4000'.
Why the emphasis on 'Casino and Poker'? Everyone knows what Mansion is. They're the company Manchester United blew-out for AIG. Do Mansion lack so much confidence in their 'product' that they need to include a footnote? Do you see Utd adding 'American International Group Inc - Travel Health Motor Household Insurance' on their shirts? Of course not, you fachadick.
Yet we appease the mighty Mansion. Why stop there? How about a Roulette table replacing Robinson in goal. It'll be far more of a distraction for the opposition forwards for a start. Chimbonda, ideal craps dealer IMO. Slot machines in the men's bogs, because we need to be doing something in-between all the smoking, pissing on the floor and singing that God awful racist Adebayor song. Nicky Santoro in central midfield and its peek-a-boo, you fucks, you! Onto a winner for sure, no?
The rabbits we're gonna get and I, I get to tend 'em
All this is compounded further by the fact that Berbatov wasn't at the launch. Yes, worst kept secret of all time - we all know he is on his way out of N17 and onto a 'top top club'. Although even if by some miracle had he decided to stay at the club prior to this shirt launch, I'd expect him to have purposely attempted to contract leprosy to avoid turning up for the photo-shoot. Although looking at the state of Woodgate, you'd think he was infected.
We know Berbatov is gone, but how depressing is it that you proceed to parade Jenas which means he is firmly in the future plans of the manager. We are on the verge of paying up to 10% increases on season tickets for the privilege of screaming and shouting at a player incapable of playing, running aimlessly around in a shit cheap shirt, all the while I'm surrounded by cunts wearing said same shit shirt with their 'nick names' printed on the back because 'Oh look, my nick name is Trigger, please be my friend' - 'No I will not be your friend, you fucking man-child, grow up, you're forty years old and you've bought a replica shirt you melter' while you, Mr Levy, gag on fifty pound notes up in the directors box while Comolli massages Cristal onto your back. And people wonder why other people freeze their shit and create model effigy's out of them and send them first class* in the post with an accompanying letter written in blood stating: "YOU ARE DESTROYING THE VERY FABRIC OF THIS CLUB". Its a self-fulfilling prophecy of depression you are forcing upon us.
*Its recorded delivery, so if you can drop me an email or text when you receive it, that would be grand. If you got time, a quick photo (mobile phone will do) with you by the side of the effigy would be so cool. Need it for the 'Levy is the anti-Christ' Facebook page.
Ignoring the wording on the shirts, Puma appear to be lacking any true creative juice when it comes to changing the bits that aren't white. Somehow they have managed to make the white even more bland and uninspiring by depressing the other bits around it. The shirts pretty much sum up the club in its current state. Its Carling Cup all over. If we had more clout we would not have anything other than the red Mansion logo on the shirt. In fact, if we were any good, we would force them to change their logo from red to blue. But no, instead they get to write a fucking memo on it. We're a walking ,talking, running note-pad, stuck on your TV every so often when you've tuned into Sky and Setanta.
So what does the future hold? What next Mr Levy? Do you plan to lay waste the famous Cockerel? You've already had Chirpy go through one nip and tuck session, so what next? Maybe a Cockerel isn't sexy enough for this new era of fashion you aborted, bloody coat-hanger in hand. How about Barry the Bagel? It's zippy, hip and fresh. I took Harry (from Harry Hotspur) changed the 'H' to a 'B' so it works alongside Bagel (Harry, Barry - same difference, its not like you sell Shakespeare in the Spurs shop). And Bagels are more popular than Cockerels with attached spurs (when was the last time you saw a cock fight other than some Mexicans laying bets on one during an episode of The Shield?). There's also the commercial factor to consider. A bagel is a bagel. Its unmistakable.
But our current badge.....is that a cockerel or a chicken? A football or a basketball? Its all a bit too ambiguous for the modern day market, especially if you're going too tap into the US and Far East.
Barry the Bagel mascot - an artist's impression
The badge (a smiling bagel, with a cheeky wink - think SpongeBob Square Pants but edible) is far more marketable with the kids. Considering we are losing a whole generation of youngsters to the likes of Chelsea, we can win them back with a talking walking skipping Bagel from the Lane. Barry could have his own cartoon show with cameos from the players. You could even shift Kaboul full-time across to the show, the lumbering clown.
But that's never going to happen is it Daniel. Barry the Bagel is just a deluded dream much like the one you're fulfilling at the moment as a Premiership chairman. And you'd have copyright issues with Barry Bagels (est. 1972).
We don't know if we're coming or going at the minute.
You even delayed the announcement on the potential new/or rebuilt 50,000 stadium after various newfeeds run a story about the re-development of WHL. Your official statement was a dross of soundbites that mean nothing other than, you don't really have a clue where this club will be sitting, geographically, 3-5 years from now. Wouldn't have to rely on selling copies of The Opus if you had an extra 15,000 seats. By the way, have you heard of the term, flogging a dead horse? Two words for you: Credit Crunch. Nobody is going to spend 4 fucking grand on a coffee table book. Stop with the serialisation on the official site. We know it exits. You've already wheeled out legend after legend, promoting the damn thing during the half-time intervals. Nobody wants to own a book which you need to read wearing protective gloves and move about the house in a wheelbarrow. Have you not seen the way the masses eat pies on match-days? They take a copy of the Opus home with them, its likely to be sticky with spilt coco-pops within days.
So onwards we go. Final game of the season, and the hilarity of the summer transfer season will be upon us. On Sunday, I will bid my farewell to Berbatov. And no matter the police or stewards present, will stand proud as I burn my season ticket and newspaper cut-outs of the new kit in protest of yet another season of supporter-repression.
Don't hide behind the Carling Cup for too long Mr Levy. Its cold in the shadows.
Yours Sincerely,
Spooky
Wednesday, 7 May 2008
Shock, horror
Yes I know, I hardly ever post a blog nowadays. Mainly due to rediscovering ketamine. I'm therefore light years behind on the recent In The Know gossip from the various Spurs message boards, but if they're anything like the diseased grapevine the tabloids are using then better spent time away then reading their Jackanory tales. I'm far too busy scratching my eyeballs out anyway.
Special mention goes out to everyone's favourite Bulgarian, DB. Apparently a no-show at the unveiling of the new Spurs kit on Tuesday. I'm sure Modric is happy enough to be the new darling of the Lane. Berbatov, Milan bound apparently now that AC are back in contention for a Champions League spot. And good luck to him. He's been leaving Spurs for about seven months now. A great player made greater by the fact that we haven't had a great player for a fucking age.
As for the other gossip. Eto'o (do me a favour), Diarra (lazy journalists), Anton (LOL).
Best laugh of the past several weeks has to go to Kaboul's outburst. Mate, get hold of a DVD of any one of your performances and you'll see what we see. Shit wrapped up in white toilet paper. You don't get selected because you're are shit. Think Titus Bramble. Think Titus Bramble, amputated legs and no sodding wheelchair.
Final game of the season on Sunday. Ooh I can't wait............cough.
This blog will pick up again once Tottenham pick up. So see you in 2011.
Special mention goes out to everyone's favourite Bulgarian, DB. Apparently a no-show at the unveiling of the new Spurs kit on Tuesday. I'm sure Modric is happy enough to be the new darling of the Lane. Berbatov, Milan bound apparently now that AC are back in contention for a Champions League spot. And good luck to him. He's been leaving Spurs for about seven months now. A great player made greater by the fact that we haven't had a great player for a fucking age.
As for the other gossip. Eto'o (do me a favour), Diarra (lazy journalists), Anton (LOL).
Best laugh of the past several weeks has to go to Kaboul's outburst. Mate, get hold of a DVD of any one of your performances and you'll see what we see. Shit wrapped up in white toilet paper. You don't get selected because you're are shit. Think Titus Bramble. Think Titus Bramble, amputated legs and no sodding wheelchair.
Final game of the season on Sunday. Ooh I can't wait............cough.
This blog will pick up again once Tottenham pick up. So see you in 2011.
Thursday, 1 May 2008
Season Ticket prices, 2009 (allegedly)
East Lower Block 26 now £865 from £799 + 8.26%
West Upper Now £1150 from £1050 + 9.52%
South Lower Block 32 Now £635 was £579 + 9.67%
South Upper Block 40 Now £750 was 679 + 10.46%
Freeze on season tickets? Like fuck. Expect to pay about £675 if you stand in Block 34 next to me. Prices appeared on the online booking site earlier today even though they are not meant to be announced for a while yet.
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