Spurs overhull City to claim Cup final victory

Woodgate header, 2-1, winning goal. We've been here before haven't we? No fireworks at the final whistle this time round, but the importance of claiming the three points practically pushes this result into open bus parade territory.

Spurs have been to Hull and back. No glory football here. First half performance was gash, only highlight a rather deliciously curled opening goal from Lennon who had all the time in the world to blast it in, but preferred instead to add a little gloss to proceedings and show off some of that end product he has plucked from the frustrating realm of eternal potential. He remains our one bright spark in the dark gloomy basement that the past year has been. Hull's equaliser was assisted by Calamity Cudicini (Gomes must be jealous) who fumbled the ball, allowing for an easy slot to make it 1 a piece.

Dodgy at set pieces, less than confident goal-keeping. Here we go again, right? No, wrong. Rather than losing the game in the final moments, Woody planted his head on the ball to give us one of those rare moments. An away win. Fantasy football. School boys own stuff. Jumpers for goalposts.

Thoughts and prayers for Hull City who haven't won for 10 league games. Their dizzying holiday towards the top of the table nothing more than a distant memory. They can now consider themselves invited to the relegation party down at the bottom.

Thankfully as Hull walk through the front door with a bottle of cheap wine, we've managed to escape from the prank that saw us locked in the downstairs toilet to standing a little easier in the kitchen, which everyone knows is the best place to be at a party....even a party as depressing as this one. We need to focus now and try to flirt with the attractive lass giving us the eye. She's leaning up against the middle of the table, showing us a bit of leg. Boy would we like to climb up that leg. She's no babe, not like some of those top class European birds at the party up the road, but she'll do. Beggars can't be choosers. Aim to impress her with a little charm and slick moves and we'll be out the front door, into a taxi, and back at hers for a coffee leaving this party of losers behind. Now and again, it's ok to play ugly if it gets the right result.

We've now got the interference of the second leg of the UEFA Cup game on Thursday to look forward to. Which is a bit like going on a blind date and finding out your 'date' at the bar with the bow in her dress is your sister. It's inconvenient.

To be fair to Harry, it is a tad ludicrous the way the fixture list scoffs at us. And it's a crying shame the UEFA Cup has been relegated to insignificance thanks to our Premiership predicament. There's been much talk of how Harry has disgraced this clubs great traditions in Europe and how ironic it is that Spurs strive to get into Europe, something taken very seriously a couple of seasons back, to complete dismissiveness this term. Fact is, we have been crap all season long and attempting to win the UEFA Cup when our Prem survival is yet to be guaranteed is arrogance we can not afford. Arrogance probably too strong of a word there. What I mean is, we have by default devalued everything other than the league games thanks to our lack of consistency and form so pretending we can afford to play full strength teams in games that are not important in the grand scheme of things is misplaced. We could play a strong side and win, and take that confidence forward. Its agreeable logic, but the history of this season has served up one certainty: Spurs hardly ever turn up. I'd rather go out of the UEFA Cup, not lose any players to injury, and try to salvage some pride in the league.

I expect another reserve/youth team combo and a sharp exit out of the competition, but this being Spurs, I wouldn't be surprised if the complete opposite happened. Just for larks.

Sunday is now the new priority for the remaining week with Hull decimated. Utd, who we all hope get dicked by Inter this evening, will not be fielding a super-strength line-up at Wembley if they are a goal or two down by the final whistle tonight. Their second leg game at OT is obviously always going to be far more important than the Milk Cup. So amazingly, form aside, we do have a lickle chance of surprising Fergie on Sunday. Although their reserves are not going to be push-overs. And even with the Inter game sandwiching the Cup final, I still expect to see a superstar or two grace the field against us.

I'll be praying for some joy in what has been a joyless season. Fireworks in our favour please. Could even handle an Orish jig or two.



I'm still 'offline' and without internet access and will be travelling on Wednesday/Thursday so will resurface at some point on Friday.

Spurs and Survival: It's time to get medieval

A regular feature on this blog has been a reoccurring series following a set of fixtures that are meant to provide the much needed impetus (and points) to finally steer us clear of the scary little mire that is the bottom three seats of the Premiership. A place best avoided much like a seedy back room in a pawn shop resembling a dungeon.

When Harry Redknapp joined, I gave him 12 games to get us out of trouble. Results were not too shabby. The 12 games in question made up the fabled Challenge Spurs™ (The Dirty Dozen) series. But when that ended, we failed to capitalise on the points tally acquired and managed to follow it up with a pretty awful run of results, followed by another mixed bag (as chronicled in the V for Victory™ series).

This meant we failed to pull ourselves away from the mix down at the bottom. So these run of fixtures never made a difference win, lose or draw with regards to climbing the table (obviously the points picked up have been all important, otherwise we'd be doomed by now). And the teams around us have also remained fairly constant with poor and inconsistent form. Not a lot has changed in the past few months.

We now find ourselves with the run-in and every game a must-win (not every game is winnable, but that's the attitude required. Deja vu, right?). Which ironically means, that if there was a time to scrutinise our fixture list and welcome back Challenge Spurs™, it’s now. Fail, and there's nothing but Championship fixtures to look forward to.

We have 13 games left - 6 at home and 7 away.

We've already driven the little Honda into Marcellus Wallace. Donuts and coffee hitting the pavement. And arguably, we’ve already stumbled our way into the Mason-Dixie pawn shop. So squeaky-bum time is potentially moments away. Zed will see to that. Get yourself caught up in the moment and you might find it more than just a bit tricky to get out. All tied up and gagged, praying for a miracle. Zed has us in his sights. Relegation. Relegation has us in its sights. The spider has caught itself a fly.

"Bring out The Gimp"
"I think The Gimp is sleepin'"

In this case, the Gimp is not Jermaine Jenas. And neither is it sleeping. The Gimp is the monkey on our back. Nope, not Gareth Bale (he's mostly on the bench nowadays). The Gimp is the persistent match-losing lack of concentration that has seen us defeat ourselves in the last four league away games - all in the final minutes.

It’s a mental block. Lack of concentration, belief. A fundamental lack of self-respect. Confidence, pride...lack of. Tag whatever you wish to it. Its a Spurs trait we always blame when you know what hits the fan.

Last time the Gimp persevered, it cost us Champions League (forget the last game and think back to the amount of points lost in the final minutes both home and away during the course of that season). For it to occur four times on the trot, all away from the Lane this season, is a sure sign that winning is sometimes a task too hard for some of our players. They welcome the Gimp and it's all too familiar hooded face of sadomasochistic defeatism. We need to punch the Gimp in the head several times.

"So, we're cool?"

We are at the point of no second chances now. If you sit down with your calculator or Prem Table predictor website tool, the possibility of us being unsafe and at risk on the final game is possible if you base our final set of games and likely outcomes on prior form. Especially on away form.

We are likely to pick up points at home. Although it’s ominous that we haven't done that amazingly well so far. But the home games are now imperative. No possible excuse could appease us if we don't prove successful at WHL. As for the away games, they can be grouped into two sections:

The 'No Chance in Hell' List

Man Utd
Aston Villa
Everton
Liverpool

The 'Doubtful we'll win' List

Hull City
Blackburn Rovers
Sunderland

Lose to Hull away, and the game against Boro at home turns into a Cup final, to follow on from that other Cup final we play out a few days earlier. Sunderland away has yet to be slotted into the schedule having been postponed. So where is the away win(s) going to happen? We have a good record at Everton, don't we?

I prefer to think that Spurs will do what they usually do in such desperate times. Instinctively react and do so positively. Almost nonchalantly. Bit like the goals that came at the end of the semi-final against Burnley. We waited until we were 3-0 down and (practically) out of the Cup before showing a bit of quality and pulling through. It's textbook Spurs. It's eternally frustrating. Back to the home games left to play:

The 'Must Not Drop Points' List

Boro
Chelsea
West Ham
Newcastle
WBA
Man City

Apart from Chelsea (who might be rejuvenated a little by the time we play them) the other games in this list have to be victories in our favour. Without any disrespect, they are winnable. On paper. That's a fans perspective. The players have to be ruthless and fearless against the lot of them.Whether it's Chelsea or WBA.

The other clubs around us down at the bottom will no doubt struggle till the closing day of the season, but the desperation of needing them to lose to help us out is something I will not embrace.

It’s in our hands. Again. We can't be hoping other results go in our favour. We have to control our own destiny (cringe away).

We are in need for an inspired Butch with a Samurai sword moment to signal our intent for survival.

And we are equipped for it. Palacios, big and strong and inspiring. Keane will rediscover form and the back of the net. Dawson will continue to led in the absence of King. Lennon, who's energy this season has never faltered, will buzz around and torment. Modric possesses the quality that will help unlock a defence or two and allow Pav and Bent to get in amongst the goals. And Harry will make sure it all tick tocks clockwise.

How the Carling Cup final or the UEFA Cup games will affect squad moral is not something I wish to dwell on. It's not quite like last season where the players went to sleep after the 2-1 Wembley win and forgot how to win in the Prem. There's a clear distinction between one off games like the Final and the bread and butter of the Prem this term. And the latter is clearly of more importance in the long run.

Butch, driving into Marcellus, allowed destiny to take them to the pawn shop and perilously close to a humiliating death. The death part was avoided. The humiliation unavoidable. The will to survive saw them through it, bloody in victory and revenge.

Much like the two of them, its down to us that we are in this predicament. We've led ourselves here. Destiny playing its part with comparative ease. We've suffered the humiliation. We now need to stay clear of death. So here's to a quick sharp exit, riding off on a Chopper, with a happy ending.



‘Who’s Relegation?’
‘Relegations dead, baby, Relegations dead’

I hate football

I hate football. There I said it.

One of the most obvious knee-jerks after a defeat such as the one experienced up at the Reebok is to hold your head in your hands and cry uncontrollably, wiping away the tears as you ask yourself:

“Why? Why do I care more than the players? Why can't the players care as much as me?"

Why? Well simply because we – the fans – are the heart beat of the club. We are the one constant through its existence. We retain the values and the ambitions that the club should be aspiring to. When players are long gone, we are still here cheering and singing and supporting the next generation to wear the colours. The history of the club is embedded within us from the first time we watch the team play and stays with us as passionately and obsessively throughout our lifetime. It’s religious in scope.

And we are all together in it. We all experience the highs and the lows. The emotions and the glory. The depression and the disgust.

"Triffic"

The reason we want to cry (or if you are too manly for Gascoignesque waterworks) shake your fists furiously at the teams abject display whilst using colourful language, is because we care so much it hurts and it hurts so much that we question whether our loyalty is misplaced. It’s a weak moment. One we always recover from. It’s sometimes easier to pretend to care less about something because it gives the illusion that you won’t hurt too much from the pain.

It’s part of our make-up as fans. Most of the time we complain and disagree with each other whilst we wait patiently (sometimes for decades) for something resembling true progression from the club before we all hold hands in unity. But that never stops us from wearing our hearts on our sleeves.

We simply love the club. Unconditionally. So when we watch a team display the same inept and dysfunctional quirks week after week, whilst the manager quotes excuses from himself from the previous defeat and the one before that, you begin to wonder why it’s so impossible for the players to react positively when the problems are so obvious?

We all know players don’t feel the same type of loyalty as fans do. That isn’t ground-breaking news. But self-pride should be evident enough. And yet its rarely evident on the pitch. Just in patches or certain games.

Other clubs have managed to capture this pride and spirit, and although some sides do not have the quality to see them achieve success others do have the quality and the combination is unequalled (see Man Utd for more details).

NLD up next. Shudder.

This crisis we find ourselves in wasn’t birthed this season. It’s been a long time coming. Our away form has been utter crap for years and years now. We never compete consistently away from WHL to really be able to drive forward as a strong side who could challenge for Europe every single season with comparative ease. Martin Jol, bless him, changed the status quo momentarily. What we’ve managed to do since has been well documented. A mish-mashed squad of individuals who struggle to form a cohesive unit. We entertain like no other club, on and off the pitch. But the main gripes are never sorted out.

Set-pieces, defending, balance of squad. Groundhog Day.

This is not just based on the Bolton result, where the score flattered us tbh. We did nothing much for 65 minutes and reacted far too late and only when Bolton relaxed. Once we made it 2-2, they woke up again and scored, thanks to help from us who sat back when we equalised. We appear to hold our own destiny in our hands every single week. Losing (I think it’s) four games away from home in the final minutes is pretty scandalous stuff. And the reason behind it?

Mental strength. Or lack of.

We have a deep-rooted psychological problem. We have players that want to play football, who want to play it about and score magnificent goals and buzz as the ball pings with neat and tidy one-touch skills. But it’s all plastic rather than gold because turning up and wanting to be great and wanting to play great is not enough. We – individually and as a team – need to want to win all the battles across the pitch like our lives depend on it. We need to clatter the opposition. Bully them. Show we mean business instead of all this limp excuse for spirit we witness most weeks. We need more Dawsons. I can’t believe I just said that.

We have no leader and we have no bully. Weak in mind, weak in soul. And this has been us for a while now. We change the manager, we change the players. And yet the same problem always exists. When mistakes are made, does anyone get angry about it? Apart from us, the mugs in the stands?

What was it Carrick once said about us? We have a culture of failure at Tottenham. He didn’t quite say that, but that was the gist of it. The players do not appear to hate losing. It’s acceptable. It’s ok. But it shouldn’t be.

The players have to stand up and show us 100% heart and passion. How many times has this been demanded this season alone, and they don’t quite do it? We know they can because we've seen it in one-off games. But alas again, that's the problem. Botheredness.

It’s easy for the likes of Utd where they win things every year to hate losing and therefore give it that extra 110% every week because defeat and failure is unacceptable for them – but surely at a club like Spurs which aspires to be a force in English football – should see their players strive to avoid being second best? Players at the club should arrive and understand that second best is not good enough for the club. We don’t have a Ferguson. But neither do most. So what is the point of being at Spurs? You can almost taste the importance and affect Davids had at the Lane, on the training pitch and in the first team squad. Hopefully Palacios will bring us something similar with his undoubted class. Whether he has the same fire in his belly that even an 'old' Davids had is altogether another thing. But then Wilson is not the same type of player that Edgar was.

Tottenham's midfield, with Lennon in the middle

Where is the intensity? That extra yard? That willingness and aggressive nature?

We didn’t show much up at the Reebok. Well done to Bent who has a pretty good goal scoring ratio this season, even though we sometimes wonder about his ability and application game to game. Shame on our defending, especially for the third decisive goal. And maybe this one up front business can be scrapped soon as it simply doesn’t work. Most of our lads had stinkers.

We are fast running out of games now. Do I think we are going down? No. Because we will do just about enough to avoid the drop, thanks largely to the fact that there are far worse teams than us. But I pray to God the players don’t have this very same thought. Look at our away fixture and who we have to visit between now and the final game of the season. It's daunting in places.

Arsenal at home next. Three points from six games during December through to Jan is almost as bad as what we got under Ramos. The results from the first 8 games of a season will not get you relegated – it’s what you do after that and we’ve done nothing other than skip through a honeymoon period that wasn’t followed up with a successful marriage.

Let's just avoid the divorce papers.

The sooner this window shuts, and Harry stops harking on about how many points we had when he joined the better. Had we not lost any of the last four away then we’d all be a little more happier now. But we did, and we’re not. The Preimer League is a joke down at the bottom, with all teams of equal poor quality. So there's no need to laser-remove your tattoos just yet.

I bet we give it a right old ding-dong go on Sunday in the NLD. Unbeaten against Big 4 opposition this season in the League (sums us up really). And we’ll be scratching our heads trying to figure out why we can’t dish out the same performance every week. Fingers crossed, hey?

I hate football. I could never live without it.

Let's just thrash Arsenal and worry about this relegation lark later.



Thanks to Dayo for the photoshop Redknapp pic. Visit this thread over at Glory Glory for more hilarity.

Spurs 3 Stoke 1: Just like watching Barcelona

I had to rub my eyes a couple of times yesterday evening to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. There’s been nothing sexy about our football for a while now and although yesterday wasn’t quite Agent Provocateur the performance had plenty of rampant rabbits making plenty of noise in forward positions. There was titillating balls and penetration, as White Hart Lane vibrated. I’m so glad I come. Came. Went. I’m so glad I went to the game. Went.

One cold shower later..........Yes it was only Stoke City. But let’s place things into perspective. We haven’t been playing well all season. We hardly score any goals at White Hart Lane. We’ve lacked any kind of confidence and swagger for a fair while. It was important we won, more than anything, but winning with a little bit of style and slickness means we can finally have something to smile about. Simply put, Spurs showed their Premiership pedigree against a newly promoted side. Something we have failed to do against most of the opposition we have faced.

Modric was sublime in midfield, orchestrating the tempo and playing clever balls. Showed an abundance of skill on the ball, and once Palacios slots in alongside him you get the feeling he will continue to improve to life in the Prem. Zokora was busy, getting stuck in, and was lucky to escape without a yellow card. Still lacks that footballing brain to make him a quality defensive midfielder. You can never fault his effort or athleticism, but that’s not enough to claim a place in the starting line-up. Lack of competition, so looking forward to Wilson’s debut and hopefully Zokora raising his game to fight for his place. Hopefully Palacios won’t give too many free-kicks away in dangerous positions. Something of a triat for our Didier.

Lennon started the first half mini-goal spree with a great dinking run and shot. Defoe showing vision to play in Lennon who darted towards goal and scored with his left-foot. Kodjak moment. Lennon continues to impress this season, rediscovering form I thought had been lost. If he can get more power behind his shots, then he’ll score plenty more. But I won’t lose sleep if he continues to place them the way he did yesterday.

Back on track. Six more points please.

Pavlyuchenko and Defoe then showed us a glimpse of what we hope is the start of a very beautiful relationship. We got to see Pav’s all-round game in technocolor, including a wonderful highlight for goal number two. Without looking, he sent a ball into the path of Defoe. Great vision from the Russian. It's the simple things in life, no? Who cares if he can’t speak English as long as he can speak the language of football?

Cough.

Defoe hammered the ball into the back of the net rather than attempting to score across the keeper (which is what I would have tried had I found myself in a similar position on the Hackney Marshes, before looking up at the sky and cursing the Gods for the divot). That’s confidence. JD has an aura of maturity about him nowadays, with his game improving in abundance (he was only away for a year – maybe we can loan out players more often). He doesn’t get caught offside that often nowadays, which is worth a few pints in celebration alone. Pav, who usually plays ok and still scores - played very well, but didn’t score. Not that I care too much. He was a livewire.

Modric crossed with his left peg for Dawson to nod it in (great header) to make it 3-0. Party time. I laughed out loud when Dawson followed up his goal celebration with yet another one, running towards the Park Lane with what looked like a disorganised guard of honour when his team mates huddled around him. I love the big lump. The unbridled joy displayed was felt all around the stadium, apart from that bit in the corner.

Spurs? 3-0 up at the Lane? Are you mad?

Quite.

All four players buzzed around with the type of swagger we haven’t seen all season. Swagger with end-product, which is the only type of swagger that matters. Tottenham clicked. Could have had a few more in the first 45 minutes. It was Charlie and the Chocolate factory stuff.






And relax. Feet firmly back on the ground.

Second half didn’t go according to plan. It probably would have been more of the same, but a mistake from Dawson allowed Stoke to break and score, with James Beattie (does he ever NOT score against us?) getting one back. That gave Stoke a bit more belief but it was never enough to trouble us. Yes, as a Spurs fan, even 3-1 up at home is enough to make the experience uncomfortable. I joked we should bring on Bale to end his hoodoo, but only if we go 6-1 up and only in the 91st minute.

Stoke, in the first half, had three good opportunities. Did we ride our luck? Yes. But don’t all teams? They missed another very decent chance in the second half too. In the end, we got the points we deserved and players can take the confidence up to Bolton where we could do with ending that particular hoodoo.

So, in conclusion. We kept the ball very well, played it around the park with a little bit of a spark, passed it across the middle with urgency and precision and even got the fullbacks involved. There was hunger, pace. Bit of spirit and passion. And most importantly belief. Wasn't perfect by a long-shot. Would have been nice to take control of the ball (win it back) and dictate more when the impetus was momentarily lost with the Stoke goal. We need to boss it for two halves, not just one. One step at a time I guess.

Barcelona? More like Brazil, innit?

Spurs v Stoke: The Biggest Game in our History.....ever™ - Directors Cut

We must win tonight. No excuses.

Spurs v Stoke: The Biggest Game in our History.....ever™

How many times have we been here before? Far too many. This season we keep finding ourselves with a golden chance which would allow us to push on if we take it. When we've taken similar chances earlier in the season, we haven't built on it, meaning every time we think we’ve made the type of progress to elevate us away from the bottom three for good, we end up back there. Each time we’ve gone up against a ‘bottom 12’ club we’ve bottled in. And now we find ourselves in yet another ‘must win’ situation that will save us from the mire. These chances won't be available to us forever.

The Great Escape is on.

We can all sit back with our English cup of tea, dunking a biscuit and discussing why things have not been working out and when exactly it all started to go wrong.

We can point the finger at Ramos who in turn will point at Comolli and Levy. Others will long for Jol. You could argue Harry Redknapp speaks far too much, contradicting himself from one day to the next. When he slates the likes of Darren Bent in the press, is he doing it because brutal honesty might just inspire a reaction from the player? Or is he simply letting the player know he isn’t good enough because that's just how honest(yeah yeah) he is? When things are going well, the squad is a good set of lads, and when it's not, its the fault of the previous regime (DoF and coach) and their scatter-gun approach to transfers. Regardless - this must have some form of detrimental effect on the morale of the team, no? It's having one on the fans.

Over the past few seasons we have constantly chopped and changed our side meaning little cohesion in the way of rapport and structure from one year to the next. There is no sense of progression as a unit, a team. No growth. There is no patience from board level all the way down to the stands. If someone doesn’t fit in they are moved on and replaced. If someone doesn't perform, they get booed. All this pretty much sums up the post-Jol era (actually it sums us up since the 1990's).

And to add to the circus, this season most of our transfer dealings have been played out in the public forum, granted, the press ignite the stories – but Harry has no qualms about lapping up the camera time. Nothing wrong with this football flirting half the time (all managers are guilty of it), but the current crop of players we have must be losing motivation to see their names thrown about as part of exchange deals or being replaced or labelled as ‘not good enough’ in a TV interview or the butt of a joke.

Not that I’m defending the players as it’s nigh disgraceful they don’t attempt to react positively and prove their worth to the club. Not that they haven't tried on occasions and I can detach myself long enough from all the hype and knee-jerking to understand that if the team is lacking balance then it won't be corrected by a bit of man-management. As we've seen it's simply not enough thanks to various weak spots in key areas. A player is only as good as the players around him. It's a bit of a paradox like the end scene of the Terry Gilliam sci-fi classic Twelve Monkeys when Bruce Willis makes eye contact with his much younger self. No matter what, this will always happen in an infinite loop, never to be broken. There's something very Tottenham about that. However, Willis does not have the option of Palacios and one or two others to gatecrash and change the course of history. So even with the fixture list working against us, we have a new injection that will soon stir things up a little. Otherwise, our Eleven Monkeys will take us back in time to the late 70's when we dropped down a division.

Harry has to take start taking responsibility without the constant necessity for sound-bites and cheap-shots.... (if you've fallen out of your chair, I'll give you a moment to compose yourself).

So, like I said, we could sit back and discuss the whys and wtfs for an age. Regardless of how it happened, the only reason to look back and work it out is to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Daniel Levy needs to take responsibility with how we’ve managed to go from two 5th spots to this. But for the moment, that isn’t important. We can worry about it later. What’s important now is we go back to winning ways starting with tonight’s game against Stoke. It’s all up to the players. It’s in their hands. Once again, it's a chance to start moving upwards.

Can they handle the responsibility?

Do they comprehend that we face a struggle to stay up if our form doesn’t change NOW? We are in the midst of it and our form should have changed weeks back. To dare is to do, right? Then know your history and stop feeling sorry for yourselves you absolute melters of a club side.

Palacios and Chimbonda are not available for tonight’s game. Cudicini might well start in place of the injured Gomes. Woodgate, Lennon and Modric are all carrying knocks but will probably start. As for potential newcomers, Jones is no longer a viable transfer target (he’s signed a new contract with Sunderland – so I was thankfully wrong about that potential signing). Tabloids are happy to let Robbie Keane go, but might want Lennon in a swap (thanks, but no thanks). And Fred (Lyon) is now being linked and has reportedly flown to London for talks. Some ITK's are suggesting a fee has already been agreed and he'll be watching from the stands tonight.

Stoke will be no push-overs. Just ask Chelsea. We should have beaten Pompey last time out in the Prem. But I’m bored with the should haves.

Epic Fail

Our manager has made the insightful statement that ‘you can pull yourself out with a couple of results’, with regards to our league position. Really? Is that not what we did when you first took over? The problem has been sustaining that must-win attitude all the time and not just now and again. That’s why we are still bottom and not sitting comfortably in the top half.

It’s bricking-it time. There are 16 games left and the comfort of always having time on our hands to change our luck is fast running out. At the moment it’s far too much of the to dare is to do nothing from our players.

Tottenham Hotspur. I dare you.

I dare you take the game from the scruff of the neck from the opening second.
I dare you to boss the midfield.
I dare you to be constantly hungry for the ball.
I dare you to attack with urgency and pace.
I dare you to get men into the box and attack the ball.
I dare you to be first to every second-ball.
I dare you to retain possession with style and confidence.
I dare you to tackle with determination.
I dare you to play with passion and spirit
I dare you to show leadership and belief.
I dare you to wear the shirt with pride.
I dare you to stand tall for the fans.
I dare you to swagger.

I dare you to win. Pick up the three points and see it as a job well done, but nothing more, before focusing on the next game and the next three points. Pat yourselves on the back after you push through the 40 point barrier or when safety is assured.

If we can’t muster up a better than decent performance at home against Stoke City, then the players we have don’t care enough to be bothered about whether we stay up or go down. 11 jigsaw pieces from 11 different puzzles will send us down.

Dramatical metaphors and Custer’s Last Stand war-cries aside, having new blood at the club will only work if the players already there are galvanized by the fear of failure and strive to make amends and match the enthusiasm the new (and not so new) signings bring to the side.

If Tottenham manage to roll over for Stoke 'haven't won away in the league' City, then I promise you, I will endeavour to campaign relentlessly for our relegation to the Championship where our rebirth will be one of true grandeur and spirit, akin to the Keith Burkinshaw side that returned to top flight football to win Cups and play with undoubted style and grace. Then again we might get stuck down there for 5 years and end up ground-sharing with Leyton Orient.

All we have is hope then.

I’m going to close my eyes and imagine Steve McQueen makes if over the border and into Switzerland.

In Defence of Redknapp

“When I see it devalued like a couple of years ago when teams suddenly didn’t want to get involved, like Manchester United did, it’s very disappointing. As far as I’m concerned I’ve always had a go at the FA Cup wherever I have been. I’ve never been at a club where we weren’t interested in winning the FA Cup. We start the season in two cup competitions where we have a chance of winning — the FA Cup and the Carling Cup — and we go for it. We’re not going to win the Premier League at Portsmouth, so we need to have a go at the cup competitions.” - Harry Redknapp, April 13, 2008

“I can’t risk [Jonathan] Woodgate on Saturday because we’ve got Stoke on Tuesday and I will go to Old Trafford with the weakest team I can possibly find.” - Harry Redknapp, January 21, 2009

For any Spurs fans having a dig at our King of the Soundbites manager, get a grip and look at the bigger picture. If we sat on 31 points rather than 21, or for that matter, had we beaten Pompey at home in the Prem the other week and avoided extra-time against Burnley, we probably would made plans to go to OT with a strong(er) team. Not that the desire to do well shouldn't be evident on Saturday, regardless of the team fielded.

Play a strong team against Utd, lose more players to injury, then lose to Stoke at home in the league is not the way I want to see things pan out over the next few days. Rock and a hard place at the minute for us. And unfortunately, in a competition which has a rich history for Spurs fans, its a sacrifice we simply have to deal with. Sums up our season really that we have to make the Prem the priority, but for the wrong reasons...which are the right reasons if we want to be playing top flight football next season. At least we've got a day trip to Wembley to look forward to.

I wonder how many copies of the 2008/2009 Season Review DVD the club shop will sell when its released? As long as we secure rights to have the theme tune to the Great Escape as the soundtrack, I'll be more than happy to kick back with some popcorn and a can of coke zero and relive those magical moments.....like the thrashing dished out to Stoke City at White Hart Lane on the 27th January.




Cough.

V for Victory™ update

Not looking great this little run of games which was meant to see us navigate away from the bottom 3 for the last time, without the concern of being dragged back into it.

One point, just 9 left to grab. 10 from 15 wouldn't be too shabby, but I think 5 or 6 is the best tally we can hope for based on past history re: Bolton and Arsenal.

Thankful we clawed our way back into the game today.

Bent can't Bale us out

Spurs 1 Pompey 1

It’s going to the wire.

We now sit in 16th, on 21 points – along with five other clubs. Zany. Three points from 12th and six points from 9th. Welcome to the Premier League where the bottom 12 clubs are basically rubbish. The 5 teams above the 12 are only there because of a decent run of form. The way this season is going, don’t be surprised if the table from 8th down to 20th looks completely different a month from now.

Part of me is happy that we created more chances today in 90 minutes than we have in the previous 270. Granted, half of them were Lennon scoffed shots, but there was some positivity in our play. It’s still all rather ominous though. We don’t look like a team with any belief or urgency from the offset. We sort of fall into a position of confidence after we snatch an equaliser. How about starting the game with the pretence we are already a goal down? Arguably, we are with Bale in the side.

Ok, cheap shot. I apologise. But how gutted and depressed must he feel to see us score moments after being subbed? Regardless of the voodoo, I think it’s unfair to be too harsh on the team today. They gave it a go. 15 shots on target, 11 off. James saved wonderfully from Defoe and Lennon (on one occasion when he actually put some direction and power behind the ball). Bent's miss will haunt me all the up to the next Prem game. Serves me right for laughing at Zaki’s embarrassment yesterday when he also missed an open goal when it was seemingly impossible to do so.

The fact we created so much but didn’t punish a Pompey side who weren’t too shy of goal either, highlights the desperate need for Redknapp to sign a player who will partner Defoe to (near enough) perfection.

Pav, as much as I want him to do well, isn’t the right player for the current predicament. He still looks a little lost, and although I prefer not to believe that his interpreter runs up and down the sidelines during training, translating phrases like ‘flick it on’ and ‘run into space’, I think he will benefit a team that’s balanced and winning. I suddenly see the appeal of Jones (Sunderland), although the asking price is ridiculous. Is he as accomplished a top flight goal scorer as let’s say, Darren Bent was, before we signed him? No. And look at how average that particular £15M turned out to be. The goals scored by Bent at Charlton, a team who worked hard on the counter, was never really suited for Spurs. You don't buy a particular style of player before you need him. We bought him when we already had 3 top class players. He was bought on the back of the goals scored and the hype surrounding him. No margin of error this time round. When I said near enough to perfection, I meant it. Defoe needs the perfect foil (or vice-versa).

If Villa bid £8M for bent, then we should add a bit of salt and pepper, a dollop of ketchup, and then bite their appetising hand off. Our Russian lad should play from the bench and spend the rest of the season working hard to settle in England and learn the language. As much as we cry out for a quality DM, we are just as desperate for a quality striker.

Add to that a centre-back. King went off injured. His replacement, Dawson, was very good in his place. But we need to start looking hard at bringing someone to partner Woodgate on a more permanent basis. King, we love him, but the team as a whole is more important than one individual player. The defence has to be strong and his cameos are not enough for us to be able to drive through some consistency at the back.

Back to Bale. Remember why we signed him? He’s a talent. Fantastic going forward, not brilliant defensively, but a wonderful young player. He has not lost those abilities. He is simply a wonderful player that is in rotten rotten form. When you miss Ekotto at left-back, then you know things are bad. Gareth's confidence is shot to pieces, and our much publicised lack of depth is apparent here when we have to select a player that is struggling. I hope Spurs keep the faith in the long run with Bale. We have a habit of buying young players with tons of potential for massive fees (we basically pay what the player would be worth if he turned out to be good four years from now) and then sell them if they don’t have a great start. Kaboul anyone? £8M for that gem.

So back to the game. We need to be winning these home matches. I know we missed out on the giddy heights of 12th spot, but it’s not relevant thanks to everyone practically being equal down at the bottom. The Prem won’t begin to shape up down there for another 5 or games. Might even take more. Not worth the risk in waiting and re-evaluating week to week. We need to start collating the points with that much needed urgency.

Winning today would also mean nothing if we don’t beat Stoke in our next match. It seems we are forced into re-evaluating the mathematics from week to week. That luxury will soon be gone as we move closer to game 38. Don't know about you, but going to Liverpool needing to win to stay-up on the final day of the season isn't something that I want to experience. Even if they had a dodgy lasagne, I still wouldn't fancy our chances.

By the end of Jan, we’ll hopefully have several new recruits. You would hope we'd be a far more stronger outfit come Feb, and we'd need to be to beat the top table sides (as we can't appear to beat anyone below mid-table). Points have to start rolling in.

Imagine having Berba and Keane upfront today. How many do you reckon we would have scored based on chances created? Add to it the creativity and space created by a winning partnership as our two departed players shared, and we’d be laughing. Throw in a DM and if you want to be cheeky, a left-winger and the doom and gloom will be non-existent.

What we got instead was a little bit of the old anti-luck (that Bent miss and an early Defoe chance which should have been on target). Good luck is something you get when you will yourself forwards, it smiles on you not when you are down in the dumps but when you strive to get to a higher place. Far too many of our players are feeling sorry for themselves.

Lennon played well, and is arguably our best player this season. He’s even learnt to plant a cross on a forwards head. O’Hara was busy, but is always prone to one error, which can usually lead to disaster. He got away with it today. Modric, oh Modric. I really do hope Appiah is signed by us (as I doubt Palacios is going to bother with City throwing money his way) because Luka needs a strong centre-pairing to allow him the freedom to create. He played well second half, but his back-turning moment to a tackle which saw David Nugent almost (should have) scored is not the type of thing you want to see in a dogfight. Zokora was Zokora. His first touch is Sutcliffesque, and his another player who struggles with the simple things.

Bentley wasn’t too shabby when he came on. Apart from one or two set-pieces. He created that chance for Bent. Would have been a perfect assist that. He definitely has the look of a player feeling sorry for himself. But his performance was encouraging.

Defoe took his goal very well (glad to have him back), through the legs of Sol Campbell. Nice touch. And how refreshing was it not to spend the whole game singing silly songs about this ex-player? Although when the Park Lane hummed the controversial re-worked Lord of the Dance song, I even saw a copper smile.

Altogether now.....

Sol Sol
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la

Overall, decent game, decent performance – and on another day, we could have won it (but on the flip side, Pompey could have scored one or two more themselves....and Nugent scored, so that sums that up). David James played his part, as he usually does when he faces us.

Stoke at home MUST BE, HAS TO BE three points for us. Much like today was, but the Prem, as I said, allows for this re-evaluation. For now.

Redknapp did well today considering the players who got injured (Pav shouldn’t be out for too long, but King is ‘long term'). And Gomes, Corluka and Lennon all played on with slight knocks. Harry could only make the one tactical substitution today.

Bit more application required, urgency too and whoever we bring in should see to it. I hope. It’s a broken record, but formations and tactics will work better if the right players are in the right positions.

It’s crazy that around 9 months ago, White Hart Lane was the goal-scoring capital of the world. Blink, and you’d miss one. 4-4’s all the range, yet today, although defensively we have one of the best records at home, offensively it’s the worst in all of the leagues.

Obviously, we need to be running around a lot more and sticking it in the net.

How to 'not' lose games and alienate your fans

This has been done before, but I feel a reprise is in order. This is dedicated to some of the lads at Glory-Glory.co.uk who are drowning in their own depression. Again.

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THE BIGGEST GAME IN OUR HISTORY™ : The Final Chapter: Redux
Spurs v Pompey, 4pm kick-off, Sunday 18th Jan, 2009.


This is it people. End of days. The last hooray. Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid attempting to get to their horses. Charlton Heston thumping the sand at the end of Planet of the Apes. Rocky losing out to Creed. Steve McQueen not quite making the motorcycle jump over the border.

We are gush, make no mistake about it. And there's not a whiff of a blockbuster performance in sight. Not until those new arrivals make an entrance. Unless City nick 'em off us.

We are doing just about enough in each game to lose. Usually in the dying seconds. Rolling over and having our tummy's tickled is our most endearing quality, which is why the opposition love to play us. We haven't been overwhelmed or battered by anyone yet. We just turn up, go one or two goals down, and quietly die on the pitch while the opposing team, usually not that much better than us in terms of individual quality, just more so plucky and willing, get their heads in front and comfortably hold on to win.

Grit

We've heard it all now. From players and management. All the sound-bites and ill-fated battle cries. Players, formations, tactics, substitutions. There is nothing left in the way of 'that one last chance'. Our past 3 or 4 games in the Prem have been 'must wins'. Imperative for us to leave the mire behind and climb steady upwards.

Those, with each passing week, were the games that would change our form and kick-start our season for a second time, since the arrival of Harry Redknapp. And almost all have ended in abject defeat. We've done more side-stepping than Vinny Samways.

We haven't got any worse over the past few weeks, but we haven't improved. Just stagnated. Any suggested individual improvement is fairly invisible to the human eye. What we've managed to add to this cauldron of crap is the ability to throw it away at the death. We're not just pressing down on the self-destruct button, we are head-butting it.

Less backbone than a jellyfish. Our superfluous stars have sat back into the comfort zone after their initial positive reaction to the appointment of 'arry. But If they made their own luck in that first grouping of games - dragging themselves off the bottom, then surely then can muster up more of the same? Surely personal pride, pride for the Lilywhite and pride as people earning thousands of pounds can muster up in front of loyal home fans the grit to brush aside Pompey and once more, go on a run of point-accumulating results to ease our worries?

Passion

Blame Ramos and that woeful start, strange tactics and formation and a ton of lost points. Blame Comolli and his random unbalanced signings. Blame Levy and his lack of leadership. Blame Jenas for anything you fancy. Blame Bentley who can't cross or find a white shirt with a simple pass. Blame Bale and his voodoo. Blame Redknapp and his insistent jabbering to the press. It doesn't matter any more who is at fault. What matters now is who will take responsibility and get us out of this mess. And the eleven players who represent us should be the ones who turn it around once and for all because regardless of management and pre-match talk, it's the 90 minutes on the pitch that count.

There is no lower ebb than being 5 or 6 points adrift and that will happen if we don't start winning consistently. It's do or die time. Because every defeat going forward brings us closer to Championship football and Doncaster away.

Luck (the good type) is non-existent for us at the minute, and all mathematical omens are more ominous than the Grim Reaper taking a seat next to you at a doctors appointment.

Sunday is no longer about measured tactical ploys or 4-5-1's. Sunday has be a Cup final (forget the Milk Cup). Sunday has to be about setting the precedence for every game after that with regards to performance. Performance equating to: Fight, urgency, spirit, desire, guts, passion, belief and pride.

Go one down? Heads up, chests out, f*cking well go for the jugular and claw/scratch/kick/bite your way back into the game. Go one up? Then push for a second with all your sodding might. Start to believe, regain that swagger and that confidence. Because even without Berbatov and Keane and a true DM - we still have players of quality. Yes Harry, unbalanced or not, these players still have enough about them. That includes you Defoe. Show us it was worth the effort and money to bring you back. Show us you have grown as a player. All of you - show us you have enough and some to get us above West Brom, Stoke, Boro and several others into the comfort of 12th place.

A win, 3 points, it's not the f*cking Holy Grail! Dry those f*cking eyes, get a grip you melters and win the sodding game. Getting smacked around by third-rate teams like we're a crack whore begging for a hit from her weasel pimp is F*CKING PATHETIC.

We are down to basics. Every time we have prayed that our players would take the game by the scruff (Wigan, Hull, Stoke, Fulham, Newcastle etc) we have failed miserably. Its now do or die.

Leadership

Over-dramatic? If I was drunk or high or both I might suggest that losing to Pompey won't be the end, because a dozen teams above us are just as poor and inconsistent. But this is a chance to galvanise the club prior to any new arrivals turning up. If we don't believe, we don't deserve.

That's what we are all hoping a win against Pompey will do. Galvanise. Because we have no choice now due to the maths and our position and the upcoming fixtures. 17 games left. We have to start somewhere. And putting it off every week means less points to grab as we near the nerve-shattering end. We control our destiny, we can't control the form of others around us. Too good to go down? We haven't even been good enough to claw ourselves to mid-table.

At some point soon, the bottom half will begin to stretch a little and divides will appear between the teams at the very bottom and the teams just above them. And if you are sat in 20th place, worried about your points tally, then there is no worse position to be if you are in possession of that calculator of doom. We have to start winning.

So all that's left is for the home fans to sing till their mouths bleed and for the team out on the pitch to remember who they are and reclaim some self-respect and respect for the club and its fans and its history. Forget about that mug Campbell. Forget about those Pompey fans and their hatred for 'arry and Defoe. One thing matters on Sunday. Tottenham Hotspur. So make sure the players bloody well know you're there and cheer them on for every single second the ball is in play.

If the noise and our current league predicament doesn't inspire them? I'd suggest we sack them, run an X-Factor style competition to find out who the most athletic 20 Spurs fans are, and then stick them in the Lilywhite shirt. Because determination wise, they will run till their lungs collapse. And at least win/lose/draw - we can say we we're proud of the effort.

Once again, for one last time, it's over to you.....Gomes, Cesar, Alnwick, Corluka, Gunter, Bale, Dawson, King, Woodgate, Rocha, Huddlestone, Zokora, Modric, O'Hara, Lennon, Bentley, Taarabt, Bent, Defoe, Pavlyuchenko, Campbell....

Portsmouth....you can stick your cowbell. Make sure you bring a f*ckin' shinebox instead.

Where now for Harry's mouth?

Yet another rain-swept Monday for yet another depressing weekend of football for the Spurs faithful. Gone, it appears, is the original conception of a 4-5-1 formation, with two wide players and three central midfielders which managed to produce a decent balance of passing and grafting. Whether it’s down to the injuries Hudd and Jenas picked up which forced a change in tactics or not, it seems the current formation is nowhere near good enough to even compete with Wigan. Not that Wigan are too shabby at the minute, but still. Compete or die are the two options for survival and avoiding it.

I know it’s early in the transfer market but it seems that Harry has now taken upon himself to be critical of all things Spurs. He’s highlighted that Spurs need fighters. Proper players. Possibly Appiah is one of a few he plans to sign. But to be critical when your first signing is Defoe. Small player, no real strength and can’t hold up the ball. And with no chances created for him, he is rendered even more useless for the task in hand. But don’t fret. It seems that the likes of Bent and Pav have no definitive future at Spurs as he’s also said we need a player that can hold up the ball. Surely that is more of a priority than a poacher? But I’m being presumptuous. At the end of the window is when we can hold Harry accountable or (hopefully) applaud him for the re-building exercise he’s conducted.

Woodgate, Dawson, Zokora and O’Hara have been pin-pointed as the type of players we need in comparison to the soft gutless flair players. This is worrying in itself. Zokora? Really? Sure, he runs about a lot, but a player with no footballing brain? Dawson is all effort, little ability. Although hasn’t been prone to many errors recently, so I won’t throw rotten fruit at him just yet. Woodgate is class and O’Hara has some bite.

So, what’s the answer? Another forward to hold up the ball? Another midfielder to replace Jenas (who has apparently lose his vice-captaincy)? A left-winger (not Downing)? Another central-midfielder (King’s cameos are not enough)?

And somewhere in all that, there has to be that all important element of leadership that we lack. That real scruff of the neck, slap around the face, determination and spirit that even the ‘class’ Woodgate can’t muster up enough of.

That’s some shopping list. To sign players who can not only slot into positions that are currently ineffective in the current Spurs side, but also be able to pick up the workload to allow our flair players the freedom to express.

No idea why Harry went for such a distorted over ambitious but ultimately flawed line-up against Wigan. Maybe he was attempting to illustrate the fact that we are nothing more than a group of individuals, weak in the vital areas, with no cohesion no matter the tactics.

What happened to the basics that saw us climb off the bottom of the table? The blame game and stating the obvious sounds way too Tottenhamesque for my liking. Shrug it off. That’s you Harry and the players. Before it’s too late. You’ve got just under 20 days to complete the jigsaw. And I don’t want to be hearing anything about losing any pieces behind the sofa.

V for Victory™ - D is for Demoralising

Disgusting, disgraceful, dismal, dejected.

5 games - 1 game down, 0 points, 1 defeat, 12 points available

What the fuck is actually going on? Won the double in 61 and then nothing since. Fucking cunts the lot of them. Tear it up and start again. Wankers. I might have manflu, but at least Night Nurse will see to my recovery. As for Spurs? They have an incurable disease. No matter the players or managers, it's the same old excuses and problems. It's tiresome. It's pathetic. These are the games we are meant to be showing up for.

You can sit there and question the line-up, that found Ledley King paired up with Zokora in centre-midfield. Bentley and Lennon dropped to the bench, mainly due to when Lennon plays, Bentley has to make do with the left-hand side which results in nothing more than an inept display. King and Zokora gave us nothing in midfield. But then why would anyone expect a centre-back to display the clout to dominate that part of the pitch? Doing it for England an age ago in one game is not a good enough reason to test it out again, especially away from home. And especially with us sitting so low in the table. Bentley on the bench is fine, because on form, he deserves to be there or worse.

You could also question the general negative approach to the game. Or the substitutions that made no sense tactically. Why start with a formation and change it a quarter of an hour later? Because it's so apparent it's not quite working perhaps? What was the point of taking Modric off? Well, I suppose because he was distinctively average today. But the difference made was practically invisible.

You could question the lack of desire and passion and direction. The will to win, the will to want to win. Three times now we've conceded (winners) in the final minutes/seconds (Newcastle, WBA, Wigan) and lost.

That's softer than Winne the Pooh's belly-button.

Yes. Here we are again. We got rid of Ramos and replaced him and the arrival of HR gave us some great results, and that seems to have been it. Maybe we need to sack Harry and bring in a new manager, and do so every 8 games until we are mathematically safe. We don't actually have to sack Harry for real. He can just wear a face-mask every couple of months and talk through a voicebox. The seriousness of our current position in the Prem doesn't appear to be enough in the way of inspiritation for our millionaire players to react too.

I still say stick a couple of fans into the half-time dressing room to give an additional team talk to the one Harry gives.

Injuries, lack of creative juice, bad luck and the textbook disappearance of concentration at the death all mixed in with some poor tactical instructions give us a 91st minute defeat like only Spurs can muster up. And the defeat was justified.

No dream debut for JD, failing to score or do little else. Much like the rest of the team.

Harry has surely now run out of sound-bites and wisecracks to tell the press in the post-match interviews. A slice of shut-the-fuck-up pie followed by a glass of actions-speak-louder-than-words for the man at the helm, please. Serve it up hot.

Bale. Still no Prem league win. But face it, it's not his fault he has no confidence playing in a shit football team. Then again, his all round play is woeful to the extent that if Bentley doesn't deserve to play first team football, then neither does Bale. Jenas returns to the first team and yet it's almost like he's still out injured, such is the impact of the player.

Lennon came on, hardly touched the ball. Bent on for Pav was insignificant. Sums it all up with Zokora had the best chance of the game for us.

Bottom 3 once more. Blackburn have a game in hand on us. The next two home games are do or die for sure. Pompey and Stoke at home. I would now not even bother with the FA Cup of the UEFA Cup. Then again, we won't be beating Utd or Shakhtar Donetsk anyway, so at least the Prem games will take priority. Which is what they should be but don't appear to be.

The Redknapp effect has worn off and he's got the look of relegation written all over his ugly mug. Or maybe that's just the reflection of the players wearing Lilywhite.

The Two-Face Perspective

The Two-Face Perspective

Issue #4
What do we think of Harry?






Harvey Dent: Redknapp, the miracle worker. He’ll save Spurs. He’s the right man for the wrong circumstance the club finds its self in.

Two-Face: But is he the right man to take Spurs forward?

Harvey Dent: If by forward you mean avoid relegation, then yes.

Two-Face: And beyond that? Then what?

Harvey Dent: How about avoiding relegation before realigning club ambitions. This is damage limitation. It’s the afterbirth of the fabled Director of Football system and it can’t just be swept under the carpet. There’s no quick and easy impromptu kick-start that will propel the club back to where the fans and chairman want it to be. It won’t happen overnight and it won’t happen easily.

Two-Face: I get it. This isn’t Harry’s fault. He’s come in to do a job and clean up the mess. But this is Tottenham, not Portsmouth.

Harvey Dent: And your point is?

Two-Face: We need not forget who we are and the traditions we have so being linked to the likes of Bellamy and Bullard and even Zamora, make me taste my own puke. And with my face, that’s saying something if I can taste vomit.

Harvey Dent: Forget who we are? Would that be a club that aspires to heights we hardly ever reach? Martin Jol’s 5th placed side has long been dismantled. Take away those two seasons, and we are nothing more than under-achievers, based on those aspirations and the transfer money spent on new acquisitions. Massive underachievers. Pompey were almost relegated, and Harry pulled them from the depths and within touching distance of Champions League football. Surely you’ll take that?

Two-Face: But at what expense? Redknapp is no master tactician or managerial genius. He isn’t known for taking the raw materials he has at his disposal and moulding them into a winning mentality. That old more than the sum of their parts trick isn’t in his repertoire.

Harvey Dent: What?

Two-Face: For Harry to succeed he has to gut the squad he has and then bring in players of his own liking, until the right balance is in place for the side to achieve its goal. In this case, mid-table.

Harvey Dent: Hate to point out the obvious, but he has the same players Ramos had at his disposal and has managed to notch up 18 points compared to Juandes 2. I’d say that’s pretty decent managerial skill right there.

Two-Face: So, we are settling for avoiding relegation, and that’s all? A team built to finish above the bottom three. Then what? What happens after that? We settle for a mediocre side who probably won’t punch above 8th or 7th place?

Harvey Dent: Mediocre? Like the one we have at the minute?

Two-Face: I think we both agree that the current side is bare bones. A skeleton crew with a handful of players that should not have been purchased in the first place. Rather than build a team we've bough players who only function in different roles and formations and never in the same one together as a single unit.

Harvey Dent: Which makes it commendable that Harry turned it around so quickly. Seems the knee-jerk thing to do is wheel out the wheelbarrow of despair because we dropped points against Newcastle, Fulham and WBA. Don’t forget, we are in the position we are in because of the start we had. So when we do drop points, it’s magnified tenfold because we can’t afford to do so based on the clubs around us being on similar totals. But that isn’t Harry’s fault, now is it?

Two-Face: Are you saying he is immune to criticism just because of his initial impact?

Harvey Dent: No, of course not.

Two-Face: Then?

Harvey Dent: People’s perception of events can have drastic reactions, from good to bad, when things go for or against us. Look, he had a wonderful start to life at Spurs. We rode our luck, but that was more than can be said for when Ramos was at t he helm. But in no way were we playing brilliantly. Certain individuals improved, others haven’t. There are still problems with our strike force (or lack of) and the balance through the midfield is still fragile and not up to the long haul task of climbing the table. So the moment we drop two points or more, why should Harry get the blame?

Two-Face: Because the tactics, the formation and selection is his responsibility. If we’ve stagnated, which we have, and the players are failing to give their all, then the manager should be aiming to get a reaction from them. I expected one at WBA after the Fulham game. We didn’t get it, regardless of the referee and sending off, the display was inept. Something all too often tagged with Spurs teams – regardless of the manager or players present at the time.

Harvey Dent: There’s a good chance Harry has done as much as he can do with the players he has.

Two-Face: Do you really believe that?

Harvey Dent: We need an injection, in the form of a new forward and definitely a left-winger. Don’t underestimate what a couple of new players will do for the side. Yes, we have our fair share of prima donnas and players with their heads firmly in the clouds. This has been a deep routed problem at Spurs for years and years. Far too many individuals who believe their own hype and the hype that has surrounded the club for far too long. It’s a comfort zone that some take advantage of, and almost wait for someone else to do the deep digging for them. Seems at Spurs it’s ok to be half a defensive midfielder, but still play in every game, or be a player with huge potential but with each passing season come nowhere near to fulfilling it.

Two-Face: You haven’t answered my question.

Harvey Dent: Patience. Harry cited the necessity, the requirement of having proper players in the team. Players not engulfed in vanity or bogged down with self-importance based on their haircuts. Players who will get stuck in and understand that sitting on 20 points just above the bottom three is a relegation battle, one that requires men with balls of steel and not fluffy scared kittens more interested licking their balls.

Two-Face: Do kittens lick their balls? I thought that was dogs?

Harvey Dent: It’s just a metaphor.

Two-Face: Bit of a mess that. Like your argument. If Harry requires proper players, then why is David Bentley playing every week? By your definition, Bentley is a player who is constantly licking his balls. And the only product you can associate with him is what he puts on his hair. He rarely beats the first man with a set-piece. Doesn’t track back, doesn’t do much in fact that helps the team. He’s like a good looking version of Andy Reid. Slim, a little taller with highlights in his hair. In fact, arguably, he isn’t even as good as Andy Reid. At least Reid can play in more than one position.

Harvey Dent: Let’s not scapegoat.

Two-Face: No, no. Let’s not. This isn’t about scape-goating. This is based on performances and fact. David Bentley? What does he do exactly? Not much at the moment. Is Harry’s genius man-management skills based on playing David every game because he’s bound to regain form at some point? Did the club not try that with Robinson last season? Granted, it’s worked with Gomes, but keepers are funny creatures. Outfield players can easily be replaced. What type of message does it send out if Bentley is undroppable to the likes of O’Hara and anyone else for that matter who sits on the bench or worse? Bentley is the personification of all that’s average about Spurs at the moment. I’m sure there is a good player in there somewhere. But it doesn’t help matters that the player himself believes he is great when he is merely just good.

Harvey Dent: In defence of Bentley, he has little support and nobody to pass too, but sure, form wise regardless of reasons, I agree. But maybe Boateng or whoever genuinely isn’t the right answer for us and Harry knows.

Two-Face: Why? How do you know that? Is he really that unimpressive in training and for the reserves? Surely he should be given a start, if anything, to allow Bentley the time for some much needed soul-searching. Because at the moment, the Penguin would do a better job out there.

Harvey Dent: So what’s your answer?

Two-Face: Well for a start, it’s not Bellamy. Our stature, even though we have been nothing more than over-glamorised pretenders to the 4th spot, was a lot higher than it is now. We attracted Juande Ramos, one of the most highly rated coaches in Europe. Few in England could have done that.

Harvey Dent: Money. Money can do anything you want it do. And Spurs, fans and club alike, do a mighty fine job of hyping the club beyond its reality. Look, there is no doubt Levy runs the club financially spot on. We are rich. We can always compete in the transfer market, and we always buy quality players, amongst all the duffs. But look at what signing Ramos achieved. Cup aside, it didn’t work out and the DoF pulled the club down from the giddy heights achieved under Jol to the brink of utter disaster. So if you consider the amount of times we’ve gone out and signed the ‘right’ manager and ‘right’ players, and yet ended up with zero in the way of progress and success – I can’t see how an old fashion reality check will hurt us.

Two-Face: So going from Modric to Corluka to Bellamy and Downing is fine with you? Do you honestly believe that aiming for a lower-tier in the Premiership just to survive is the way forward? Why not aim higher, survive, and then be able to push on?

Harvey Dent: Here we go again. Isn’t this the fickleness of fans coming into play now? Just above the bottom three, yet you want to consider what we can aim for AFTER we get ourselves out of this relegation dogfight. How about getting out of the dogfight first? And Modric and Corluka were signed in the summer, so Spurs – with or without Redknapp – will always attract this type of quality. Keane and Berbatov have not been replaced effectively at this time, but we probably don’t need to aim that high because it’s not required. A good decent goal scorer is what’s required, and there is no need for it to be a superstar or a sexy signing. Just one that will do the flipping job and do it well. You know, if you add Berbatov and Keane into the current side, we wouldn’t be worried about relegation. As I said earlier, don’t underestimate what an injection of new blood can do. We are missing vital organs, and the transplants are just days away.

Two-Face: You need to work on your analogies and metaphors. As much as Harry and Levy need to work on their signings. Bellamy for £8M? Downing for £15M?

Harvey Dent: Downing gets linked to Spurs for £15M every single season, so I don’t get your problem with this.

Two-Face: So, these are the proper players Redknapp wants? Sounds like another Bentley signing. Superflous.

Harvey Dent: Then what do we go for? Another Pav or Modric? We can’t afford to do that. We need players who will fit in from the off and Redknapp knows that. We’ll know for sure once the transfer window opens. Everything until then is nothing more than hearsay and gossip.

Two-Face: And Harry gets us out of trouble with these signings, then what?

Harvey Dent: Again, why does everything have to fall into a 3-4 year plan? At the moment, there is no plan other than getting ourselves into a stable position. Once we are stable, then we can go about signing what we consider better quality players. But we are not in the position or have the luxury to do so at the moment. Once we are in a healthy state, then we will. And remember, Harry’s stay at Spurs might well be short term. He will only take us so far, and it’s probably a given that Harry and Levy both know this. The next man in, will hopefully inherit a good side, top end of the table, consistent and going places (again).

Two-Face: So, we sacked Ramos because he couldn’t get the best out of the team he had, which is the same team Harry has. So arguably, you could say the players react better to Harry than they did with Ramos, but as a group are still not good enough. Which is possibly down to Levy and Comolli. And thus are beginning to struggle again because Harry can do so much with so little.

Harvey Dent: You’re obviously leading up to something with this.

Two-Face: If Ramos had the right players then it might have worked.

Harvey Dent: It didn’t work. Whatever the reasons, whether it was communication or he disliked living in England or if it was purely footballing matters, it did not work out. We got what we thought were the right players although everyone will always blame the departures of Keane and Berbatov as being the downfall. Which is not something most would disagree with.

Two-Face: Ok, so we sign yet more strikers. But surely we needed to bring in a manager who is tactically astute to the level Ramos was?

Harvey Dent: He wasn’t tactically astute for us.

Two-Face: You know what I mean. Harry praises Zamora in the press. Admits to telling Pav to ‘run around a lot’. To go from Top 4 pretenders/contenders to hiring and firing Ramos which might not have happened had Comolli and Levy replaced Keane and Berbatov properly, and end up fighting relegation with Redknapp at the helm and being linked to the type of players we would never be linked with. It’s just not right.

Harvey Dent: Are we covering old ground again?

Two-Face: We might buy journeymen or stop-gap players but this isn’t the same ethos the club has had in recent years and it won’t place us anywhere near Villa’s consistency or City’s financial clout.

Harvey Dent: You make no sense. City will outbid anyone they choose. Villa, without the hype, have slowly and gradually built their way to their current position. No big name superstars in their team by the way.

Two-Face: So Levy has also scrapped the sell-on value ethos, by looking to bring in the likes of Bellamy that won’t have any value after a season or two.

Harvey Dent: Ok, we are definitely going over old ground now. Fact of the matter is, under the previous ethos and system, we were heading downwards. It simply wasn’t working. We’ve played well under Harry. Reclaimed some form and pride. We were unlucky against Newcastle. The Fulham game simply illustrated what we need to acquire in January. And the same can be said about the WBA game, which we probably would not have lost on another day. All this talk about Ramos and what if he had two decent strikers is bullshit, because Harry is in the same position. Compare the two.

You notice the difference? Redknapp had the far more difficult games to get through. So lay the ghost of Ramos to bed once and for all. All that we should be concerned about is being a Prem League side cometh the summer. Then, with the guiding help of Levy, Redknapp knowing he is at a far bigger club (with no disrespect meant) to his previous clubs, will be able to aim much higher in the way of transfer targets, with the luxury of time on his side for any bedding in of foreign acquisitions. At the moment, we needed fighters and we need experience. We don’t fight relegation often, so there is no pussy-footing around the matter. No room for mistakes. The current lot don't look fit for it.

Two-Face: Ok. But do we agree that in the long term, Redknapp is not the answer?

Harvey Dent: Harry is known for one or two things. He makes smaller clubs ‘bigger’. He spends a lot of money on a lot of players. Nobody knows what he will be able to achieve at a bigger than small club like Spurs. We are about to find out. And if you look at the players he signed for Pompey (Defoe, Diarra, Johnson, Campbell, James, Crouch) it’s not all Bellamys and Zamoras, is it?

Two-Face: So, he leaves in a few seasons with us in mid-table with an ageing squad with no sell-on value and a new stadium about to be built. Cost of surviving relegation I guess?

Harvey Dent: Let’s wait and see who he signs in January. He’ll make some shrewd signings for sure, but he won’t just make them for the sake of it. They will fix the problems at hand, and surely that’s all that matters.

Two-Face: So he isn’t the long term answer then?

Harvey Dent: He’s a wheeler dealer cockney cheeky chappy. Not a tactical genius. He’s been brought in for one reason and one reason only, and that’s to steady a sinking ship whilst Levy evaluates his position, club structure (no more DoF) and the development of the new ground. Then, with or without Levy and Redknapp, the club will once more aspire for greater things.

Two-Face: Maybe we should aspire to be more like Everton and Villa. Consistent without the constant demand for precision attack minded football. Win ugly more often than not. Sacrifice glory football for bread and butter results.

Harvey Dent: That’s not Tottenham. And it never will be.

Two-Face: Guess not.



Inspired by the boys over at Glory Glory.co.uk

V for Victory™ - 15 points, Do or Die

This may be the most important moment of your life. Commit to it. They took your Berbatov from you. They took your Keano from you. They put you in the bottom three and took everything they could take except your hope. And you believed that was all there was, didn't you?

The only thing you had left was your hope, but it wasn't, was it? You found something else. In that bottom three, you found something that mattered more to you than hope. Because when they threatened to laugh at you unless you gave them what they wanted... you told them you'd rather die. You faced the emails and jokes.

You were calm. You were still. Try to feel now what you felt then.

Try to remember the impact Harry Redknapp made. And hope he makes it again.



Ok, so plagiaristic introduction aside, it's time for another series of games that might help comfort us in the weeks ahead by applying more pressure to each league game as they take on a meaning akin to a Cup game. By comfort us, I meant shit bricks.

5 games. 3 of them at White Hart Lane, which should be an advantage, but considering our current home form, it's not. And if that isn't enough to be concerned about, take note that only the 5th game (against Arsenal) is against opposition that we tend to show up for.

Wigan, Pompey and Stoke are three teams that we've failed to beat this season. Bolton away is much like WBA away. We lay down and die. And now, ironically, these games are pretty much do or die. Dramatics aside, this is a good a time to buck up our ideas and get moving up the table.



Dare I predict?

Ideal (yet within the boundaries of reality) Results:

(A) Wigan ---------------- D
(H) Pompey -------------- W
(H) Stoke City ------------ W
(A) Bolton ---------------- D
(H) Arsenal --------------- D

9 points from a possible 15, giving us a total of 29. That will probably, depending on what the other teams around us do, leave us in pretty much the same position, which means after these 5 games, we'll have to have the same attitude for every single remaining game from now to the end of the season. But best to worry about anything post-Arsenal once we get there.

From the above forecast, Bolton away is the most likely to result in defeat, which makes 8 points the minimum. Obviously, all dependent on Spurs bothering to play for a win. As we saw with the Challenge Spurs™ series of games, usually, the points came from games you least expected them from. Let's hope for some surprises in our favour.

Two home wins and anything but defeat against Arsenal is IMPERATIVE. 15 points is what they should be aiming for because 15 points will genuinely make the following 5 games less stressful. Although every time Spurs get comfortable, we drop back into the mire again. But rather the 15 then nothing. You know, what's in the bag is in the bag.

These next five games is all about Spurs, Harry and the players, showing us their worth. I guess they did that against Fulham and WBA, but I'll allow for a second chance before I start mapping out routes to Blackpool and Plymouth.

Wouldn't be Spurs if there wasn't any heart palpitations, so hold onto your hats.

I'll eat mine, and I'll shave my head if we win all 5 games.

Challenge Spurs™ - The Conclusion

Challenge Spurs™

Games 11 and 12
(H) Fulham 0-0 draw
(A) W.B.A. 2-0 loss

The Dirty Dozen final points tally: 18
Total Prem points: 20
Position: 16th


Having got ourselves out of the bottom 3 we appear to be reluctant to escape further away from the mire. No gap is forthcoming between us and 18th place. Where as others have managed to leapfrog mid-table and sit in a far more comfortable position nearer the UEFA Cup spots. There's still not too much in the way of pts difference from bottom to topish (8th place), but if form continues this way then the gap that will appear, will be the one we don't want.

Yet another Christmas where Santa fails to empty his sack for us. Instead, we get a limp excuse of a performance and zero satisfaction. Scandalous. 1 goal in four games, and it seems that Harry has forgotten the magic of man-management and is failing to get this misfit of a team scoring again. Wasn't a problem in his first few games, but appears to be one now. The solution?

£16M Bent + £14M Pav = £8M Bellamy. The mathematics of Tottenham.

Man City will outbid us there (thankfully) and Defoe is possibly on his way to Chelsea (or City, depending on what rumour you wish to believe). I've got to be careful not to go off on a tangent here but seriously..........Craig Bellamy? Yes, I get it. He's scoring, which is more than we can say for our lot, but the player is injury prone and an utter misery of a human being. Harry apparently succeeded with getting Levy to make the bid. What happened to the ambitions Daniel? Bring back Comolli. There's 1000 players better suited than having Bellamy spearhead our attack. Remind Harry that he can aim just a little bit higher.

The Fulham game was boring and lacklustre. What a surprise there. Dominated the first half but failed to do much in the second. Today's game against WBA was sluggish, and if there's a team that will ever so subtly lay down and die for shit opposition its Spurs.

I don't believe in Father Christmas

Off went Ekotto (red-carded, possibly undeserved, but still.....) and then on comes Gareth Bale, a 74th minute substitution. WBA duly go on to score twice in the final 10 minutes. Curse continues, and we do nothing to wash away this groundhog day feeling.

We lacked any inspiration or direction or tactical initiative. Does Harry actually do the latter? Or is it always a case of asking the players to run around a bit and hopefully get lucky? Yes, if we didn't have BAE sent off, it probably would have finished all square, but what is it with these type of games that the players always fail to fancy? We never appear capable of mustering up the urgency to get something out of it. Arsenal or Chelsea away? Sure, no problem. No matter how shit we are. WBA away? Nah, maybe....maybe next time.

Harry failed to do any after game TV interviews (at the time of writing) and he didn't look best pleased after the Fulham game, so hopefully he'll get the message across (again) to the players in time for the next Prem game. And hopefully he'll do some soul searching with regards to his tactics and formation/selection. Because it's no working.

FA Cup next up followed by the Carling Cup semi-final. I almost don't want these games because they feel like they're in the way of the bread and butter league matches.

The Dirty Dozen - Challenge Spurs™ series ends in..........failure. Only 18 points from a possible 36, well short of the 22 point forecast, and we find ourselves above the bottom 3 by the skin of our teeth.


Where has the good fortune and good form gone? Has Harry been found out? Have the players believed too much of the hype from earlier performances, all exaggerated in comparison to the shambolic form under Ramos?

Suddenly, that olde relegation dogfight, the genuine one - not the flirting of recent weeks, is a possibility once again. Three points off 20th place. Seven points off 8th. Our current run of results reads as: L W L W D L D L

That's far from being sexy. Our up and coming games:

(A) Wigan
(H) Pompey
(H) Stoke City
(A) Bolton
(H) Arsenal

Dare I say it. 15 points up for grabs. 12 is the basic minimum required. IMO.

There. I said it.

I'm not going to knee-jerk. If you go back to when Ramos was still in charge, many overly dramatic Spurs fans (is there any other kind?) had already adjusted to future life in the Championship. It does look likely now that we will finish around the 16th - 14th positions. Which means its going to be a case of always looking over our shoulders, one week to the next.

There are still teams around us who are in worse shape. Granted, they all appear to have fucking won this weekend, but it will swing back the other way next week. But, and this is a knee-jerk of sorts, I'm not discounting the fact that teams who believe they won't go down because they think the teams around them will, are the very teams that get tagged with the 'too good to go down' tag, and end up getting sucked in, and then don't quite know how to get out. So for me to say it does 'look likely now that we will finish around the 16th - 14th positions' is the exact type of attitude that will drag us back into the bottom three.

Redknapp might have saved a team or two in the past, but he's also managed to take a couple down.

If we lose at Wigan and fail to win at Pompey, then we'll be bottom 3, possibly even bottom. And with 18 games left, there's not that much time left to start getting it right.

It's now all down to Redknapp and Levy to make the most of the Jan Sales and for the players we have to start earning their wage.

It's down to Redknapp to let our millionaire players know they are well and truly in a relegation fight, and losing 2-0 to WBA does utterly nothing for confidence for fans.

Is scoring a goal such a scary thing to do? Stand up and be fucking counted you daft cowards.