Do you rate Pavlyuchenko?

UPDATE:


I have moved off Blogger.

If you have http://dearmrlevy.blogspot.com/ bookmarked, please browse to:


www.dearmrlevy.com.


ta,

See you on the other side.








Pavlyuchenko apparently requires surgery for a groin injury. You'll have noticed he hasn't played a part in our recent games and the last thing I can remember from him (other than a missed penalty in a reserve match) was some quotes based around a complaint that he is struggling to learn English. This is largely thanks to his every day routine of hotel - breakfast - training - hotel - dinner - bed. Gruelling work schedule taking its toll there for Roman.

It's been pointed out that the club should be doing far more to make sure he develops his linguistic skills. The player still 'thinks' in Russian which means he has to attempt to translate what he wants to relay to his team-mates from Russian into English. Which, according to the player, is time consuming.

I'm miffed. Just call out the players name. You're not exactly gonna find the need to stand on the edge of the box and scream, 'Hey Aaron, Aaron, please strike the ball with the outside of your foot and lay it into my path. I'm going to sweetly strike it to the left of the goal'.

A simple yelp will suffice.

Pedanticisms aside, he is probably referring to the aftermath of a broken down attack when he needs to explain to the player who passed the ball to the right when he (Pav) was running to the left what space he intends to run into next time round. Again, arguably, all he has to do is point and wave his arms about and even speak his disgruntledness in Russian. The likelihood is his team-mate will understand the complaint far more clearly than anything coming out of Robbie Keanes mouth.

There's a lot that hasn't gone right for Pav since his move to the UK. Arguably, the guy is tired having playing several months of football in Russia in the snow before the Prem had kicked-off. He hasn't done too shabby considering the start of the season we've had (two points, eight games), but although he has scored himself into double figures - he hasn't scored that many in the league. He's a bit slow, and sometimes his first touch isn't great and his long shot efforts are poor - but he seems to find himself in the right place at the right time and unlike Darren Bent, he contributes far more and appears to be more adaptable to Harry's tactics. He's a decent goal-scorer. Maybe not one worth £14M on current showing, but we always pay far more than what the player is truly worth. Problem, arguably, is he doesn't quite excel in anything in particular and can't be defined in the same terms of importance in the same way Keane or Defoe can (with what they can offer on the pitch).

Is he over-rated? Guess we can't really judge him until 10 games into next season. Although even a 'tired' player should be showing us a little bit more in the way of ability. But at the minute, the tired excuse and the injury issue saves him from the knee-jerk 'Get rid of him!' brigade.

I like Pav. He's comes across as a bit daft (maybe something is lost in translation) in interviews, but he plays with a smile on his face. You just get this impression he's only playing at around the 60% mark.

Arshavin is fairly fluent in English, but then he's also probably fluent in Spanish, German and Italian as right up to the end of the transfer window he probably wasn't that sure where his final destination would be.

So, I guess it's down to what Harry thinks and what he plans to do with Keane, Defoe, Bent and Roman when the season draws to a close and the summer months transfer merry-go-round kicks off again.

Surely Spurs can keep him behind an hour or so after training every day for a lesson in the fine art of speaking the Queens English? Just lock him in a room and stick a Only Fools and Horses VHS in the video player, and he'll be fine as dandy in a month.

Based on what you've seen and in comparison to our other forwards - and taking into account we have 4 players who strive to be first-team players - should he stay or should he go? In your opinion, has he shown us enough?

If anyone happens to bump into him in the Waltham Abbey Tescos - say hello. And compliment him on his choice of Louis Vuitton manbag........in English. If he shrugs and mutters something in Russian spank his bottom and state 'NO! Bad £14M forward who hasn't settled in England yet'. Give him a stern look and shake your head, before slowly walking away with a despondent swagger.

That ought to tell him.

Defoe, Hutton, Pav and Silver: Some random thoughts

I was complaining earlier that there is currently a lull in newsworthy items to comment on. I was wrong. Found another three. Just like the buses, eh? Actually, make it four. Just thought of another one.

Defoe is on his way back to regaining full fitness, which will prove to be interesting with regards to how he'll fit into the team with Robbie Keane (captain) reclaiming his place as darling of the Lane. JD is exactly what we need in the run-in. He'll be hungry and determined to pick up where he left off. But does he partner Robbie up front? Can he partner Robbie? Does Keane go wide and Defoe partner Pav up front? Can anyone say 'here we go again'?

I'd like to see Robbie and JD play together, at least once or twice so we can find out once and for all if its workable. If by some miraculous miracle they'll connect on a different level to the limp ineffective Hobbitesque attempt of yesteryear - then happy days. Don't quite see how it will and also doubt Keane drifting from the wings would work either. As for the idea being laughed about concerning Keane taking a role in midfield and replacing Modric......behave yourselves.

Then there's Pav. He's stated that he's happy at Spurs and doesn't want to move. It's all dependent really on what Harry decides in the summer, but I guess Roman is reacting to one of the daily churned out quoteless made up stories which always seemed to be based on very little of anything. Personally believe we should stick with him. Hasn't scored a lot in the Prem (4 in about 22 I think) which is disappointing, but then it's not like he has been swaggering in a team of swaggering players. Berbatov took a while to adjust. Pav is not of the same quality as the Bulgarian but to dismiss him after a debut season is criminal. It's not like he's struggling ala Rebrov.

I say judge him based on next season. He's a team player, not the strongest or fastest on current assessment, but his movement is good and his finishing in front of goal more than decent. His finishing from further out and some of his decision making (lack of composure too) is where the concern begins to creep in. £14M, Russian International.....surely these qualities should be more apparent? Can I refer to the textbook response of 'he's tired/played 5 months in Russian league before joining us/can't speak the language/still adapting to English culture' etc etc? Which is why we need to be patient and see how he performs next term.

Now some of you are probably picking up a shitty stick and poking me with it along with accompanying eerie chanting:

"Darren Bent...Darren Bent...Darren Bent..."

Yes, yes. Top scorer. But of all the forward players we have, it's practically a certainty he will be the one to leave the club in the summer. Unless we start playing like Charlton, he won't be a success here - even with his decent goal ratio. We saw it, a very simplistic example, against Boro. Pav went off, Bent came on, Spurs struggled with their forward play. The flow disappeared. He doesn't fit in. Scoring goals apologetically is in no way a foundation to build on. Because if there has to be a plan B, he has no way of fitting into it. One dimensional football to appease his selection might produce a tasty goal ratio across several games, but stats aside - it doesn't breed quality team football.

Alan Hutton is also not far off from his return from a long injury lay off. He has a foot injury. Prefer not to dwell on any whispers being made to suggest otherwise. And when he is fit and able (and hopefully not as nervy as he was when he played in the Arsenal away game way back) it will mean we have him, Chimbonda and Gunter for the right back positions. And Corulka. Gunter is out on loan. Corluka works well on the right hand side with Lennon. Pascal has yet to reclaim any decent past form for us and was always a little suspect defensively - but is more than decent offensively. Although you could argue that when he does wonder forward he does so with little regard for the player who is then meant to cover him. Both Shimbo and Charlie can also play central along with King, Woodgate, Dawson. Hutton can only play right-back, the lazy git. You following this so far?

We have substantial cover at the back. There is no doubting that. Over on the left hand side BAE has been very consistent for us and Gareth Bale will hopefully find his way back onto the ladder of progress soon enough and begin to climb it with the hoodoo laying flat on its face at the bottom as the Welsh kid looks down from the top all smiles. Ideally then we could have a back four of:


Hutton - Woody - King - BAE

Or

Hutton - Dawson - Corluka - BAE

Or

Chimbonda - Woody - King - Bale

Or

Corluka - Woody - King - BAE

Or

Hutton - Woody - Corluka - Gunter


I can be doing this musical chairs routine all day long. Best way to just summarise it:

- Chimbonda can not play left-back and should either start at RB or cover a centre-back position if we are desperate

- Corluka is a right-back, but might be the answer in slotting into CB when King is unavailable

- A flying Hutton is a better option than Chimbonda out the right side IMO

- Woody will always start as long as he is 100%

- Gunter is one for the 'future' and will get his chance because Pascal will be due a transfer request a year from now

- BAE is not world-class but has acquired an edge to his game (also don't you just love the way he turns to go one way then turns and runs in the opposite direction? Its the most telegraphed move in football yet works every bleeding time!), and until Bale re-discovers his bite he does a more than decent job for us

Hold up. Oh Christ. I've forgotten to include you know who.

Hutton. Chimbonda. Corluka. Gunter......and Zokora. Add another one to the list. Didier is a better RB than he is a midfielder. Unless someone can define what type of midfielder Zoko actually is, I'll stand by my word. So that makes '5' players who can slot into the spoilt position of the right hand corner of our defence. Insane depth for a bread and butter team position. Seems that every part of the team has either far too much of one thing or too little of the other. I'll get to our midfield issues in another blog article.

Finally, let's finish with Dan Silver. Works for the Daily Mirror. Read this. Insightful stuff. I thought some of my work lacked substance but I do this for free so the standard of content varies depending on alcohol levels. Shame on you Mr Silver. Shame on your editor. Out of interest, who do you support? Let me guess...

Ding dong, Spurs are on song

Smoggie, Tranporter Bridge, James Cook, Paul Daniels, drug dealers, Roy Chubby Brown, youths with no front teeth, town not a city, the Parmo, Chris Rea - can you hear me, Chris Rea! Your boys took one hell of a beating! Your boys took one hell of beating!


Four goals. Clean sheet. Some more than decent passing and movement. Lennon (still) on fire. Modric pulling the strings. Keane off the mark. Pulling away from the drop zone. Three wins from a UEFA Cup spot. Knighthood on the cards for Redknapp. Opus available for £19.99 at the club shop. Bent playing down the middle of the pitch. Daniel Levy retires from football.

Ok, getting a little carried away. Back to reality.

4-0 win. Excellent response from the players. With so many games sandwiched together this past 2 weeks, Boro (much like Sunderland on Saturday) probably fancied their chances against a half-tired Spurs team welcoming back the 'rested' Keane and Palacios (Woody also declared fit for duty). Even though Boro started brightly anytime Lennon got hold of the ball and whizzed forward you sensed we'd be scoring goals and it was simply a case of how many based on how many we would concede in order to come out on top, because we are bound to concede, right? Well no, wrong.

Tuncay had opportunities and a disallowed goal. Downing, very early on, gave it a go to no avail. It was soon apparent that Boro's victory over Liverpool had more to do with Rafas men being outstandingly poor rather than Southgate masterminding a genius result.

We went one up thanks to Keane being left unmarked at the far post and after the disallowed Tuncay let-off, made it two with Modric (ooh that dummy!) laying it on for Pav and then three before half-time with Lennon notching his first after a wonderful passing move that included some great possession football.

Obviously, Boro being shit isn't enough of a guarantee for us to simply show up to claim the points. We're a soft touch at the best of times. In games like this we need to turn up and turn it on. And we did just that. Got lucky at the back a couple of times, but there was confident football on display, and a bit of hunger and desire going forward. Wasn't by any stretch of the imagination a dominating victory but it was a reminder of the quality we do possess and what happens when we knock it around with a little bit of swagger. And yes, it was still Boro and up and coming opposition won't be this easy to pull apart.

But a win was required and a win is what the players and management gave us, so well done to all.

Sunderland away up next (which no doubt will be a bruising encounter) is where we need to show another side to our digging deep ethos. An ethos missing for the best part of the season from one week to the next. Harry, who is much maligned for his soundbites, is probably quietly aiming for us to finish as high as possible, but will continue to downplay it for greater effect. As long as the players know that beating Boro was simply one step in the right direction.

What makes this season a complete mockery is that as mediocre as we've been on so many many occasions, we are still a handful of points adrift of West Ham who have only won 3 more games than us all season. And they're meant to be having a good one. And yet two defeats might see us pulled back into the mire at the bottom. A fully confident swashbuckling Spurs side wouldn't have a single Spurs fan worried about the relegation scrap. Half a swashbuckling side will see us right. We've got more than half at the minute. Harry has to make sure the expectation level is just about right to see us through to the final game.

The fact we didn't disgrace ourselves at Wembley proves we can still muster up the big day occasion too, and even though we have some tricky opposition ahead of us, I'm certain we'll compete and pick up some unexpected points. It was nice to see us compete against the lesser opposition last night. Bread and butter.

Back to the game, Boro came back in the second half with us a just a little on the back foot, but still didn't stop us notching up a 4th. Happy days.

Lennon's burst of pace and his trademark mazy runs. Modric's dummy for the Pav goal. Both stuck smiles back on the faces of the faithful.

BAE continues to impress. Pavyluchenko's work ethic is also under-rated (he'll be twice the player once he's 100% after the summer). Darren Bent however just doesn't do it for me. I'm not the only person to note he's always wondering to wide positions. Jenas was quiet, Palacios good but not great (saving that extra bit of energy for the games ahead) and Keane showing us a glimpse of what we've been missing. All in all, some individuals excelled, whilst others didn't have to bother.

Well done. We needed that. We need it again on Saturday.

Spurs 3 Stoke 1: Just like watching Barcelona

I had to rub my eyes a couple of times yesterday evening to make sure I wasn’t dreaming. There’s been nothing sexy about our football for a while now and although yesterday wasn’t quite Agent Provocateur the performance had plenty of rampant rabbits making plenty of noise in forward positions. There was titillating balls and penetration, as White Hart Lane vibrated. I’m so glad I come. Came. Went. I’m so glad I went to the game. Went.

One cold shower later..........Yes it was only Stoke City. But let’s place things into perspective. We haven’t been playing well all season. We hardly score any goals at White Hart Lane. We’ve lacked any kind of confidence and swagger for a fair while. It was important we won, more than anything, but winning with a little bit of style and slickness means we can finally have something to smile about. Simply put, Spurs showed their Premiership pedigree against a newly promoted side. Something we have failed to do against most of the opposition we have faced.

Modric was sublime in midfield, orchestrating the tempo and playing clever balls. Showed an abundance of skill on the ball, and once Palacios slots in alongside him you get the feeling he will continue to improve to life in the Prem. Zokora was busy, getting stuck in, and was lucky to escape without a yellow card. Still lacks that footballing brain to make him a quality defensive midfielder. You can never fault his effort or athleticism, but that’s not enough to claim a place in the starting line-up. Lack of competition, so looking forward to Wilson’s debut and hopefully Zokora raising his game to fight for his place. Hopefully Palacios won’t give too many free-kicks away in dangerous positions. Something of a triat for our Didier.

Lennon started the first half mini-goal spree with a great dinking run and shot. Defoe showing vision to play in Lennon who darted towards goal and scored with his left-foot. Kodjak moment. Lennon continues to impress this season, rediscovering form I thought had been lost. If he can get more power behind his shots, then he’ll score plenty more. But I won’t lose sleep if he continues to place them the way he did yesterday.

Back on track. Six more points please.

Pavlyuchenko and Defoe then showed us a glimpse of what we hope is the start of a very beautiful relationship. We got to see Pav’s all-round game in technocolor, including a wonderful highlight for goal number two. Without looking, he sent a ball into the path of Defoe. Great vision from the Russian. It's the simple things in life, no? Who cares if he can’t speak English as long as he can speak the language of football?

Cough.

Defoe hammered the ball into the back of the net rather than attempting to score across the keeper (which is what I would have tried had I found myself in a similar position on the Hackney Marshes, before looking up at the sky and cursing the Gods for the divot). That’s confidence. JD has an aura of maturity about him nowadays, with his game improving in abundance (he was only away for a year – maybe we can loan out players more often). He doesn’t get caught offside that often nowadays, which is worth a few pints in celebration alone. Pav, who usually plays ok and still scores - played very well, but didn’t score. Not that I care too much. He was a livewire.

Modric crossed with his left peg for Dawson to nod it in (great header) to make it 3-0. Party time. I laughed out loud when Dawson followed up his goal celebration with yet another one, running towards the Park Lane with what looked like a disorganised guard of honour when his team mates huddled around him. I love the big lump. The unbridled joy displayed was felt all around the stadium, apart from that bit in the corner.

Spurs? 3-0 up at the Lane? Are you mad?

Quite.

All four players buzzed around with the type of swagger we haven’t seen all season. Swagger with end-product, which is the only type of swagger that matters. Tottenham clicked. Could have had a few more in the first 45 minutes. It was Charlie and the Chocolate factory stuff.






And relax. Feet firmly back on the ground.

Second half didn’t go according to plan. It probably would have been more of the same, but a mistake from Dawson allowed Stoke to break and score, with James Beattie (does he ever NOT score against us?) getting one back. That gave Stoke a bit more belief but it was never enough to trouble us. Yes, as a Spurs fan, even 3-1 up at home is enough to make the experience uncomfortable. I joked we should bring on Bale to end his hoodoo, but only if we go 6-1 up and only in the 91st minute.

Stoke, in the first half, had three good opportunities. Did we ride our luck? Yes. But don’t all teams? They missed another very decent chance in the second half too. In the end, we got the points we deserved and players can take the confidence up to Bolton where we could do with ending that particular hoodoo.

So, in conclusion. We kept the ball very well, played it around the park with a little bit of a spark, passed it across the middle with urgency and precision and even got the fullbacks involved. There was hunger, pace. Bit of spirit and passion. And most importantly belief. Wasn't perfect by a long-shot. Would have been nice to take control of the ball (win it back) and dictate more when the impetus was momentarily lost with the Stoke goal. We need to boss it for two halves, not just one. One step at a time I guess.

Barcelona? More like Brazil, innit?

Bent can't Bale us out

Spurs 1 Pompey 1

It’s going to the wire.

We now sit in 16th, on 21 points – along with five other clubs. Zany. Three points from 12th and six points from 9th. Welcome to the Premier League where the bottom 12 clubs are basically rubbish. The 5 teams above the 12 are only there because of a decent run of form. The way this season is going, don’t be surprised if the table from 8th down to 20th looks completely different a month from now.

Part of me is happy that we created more chances today in 90 minutes than we have in the previous 270. Granted, half of them were Lennon scoffed shots, but there was some positivity in our play. It’s still all rather ominous though. We don’t look like a team with any belief or urgency from the offset. We sort of fall into a position of confidence after we snatch an equaliser. How about starting the game with the pretence we are already a goal down? Arguably, we are with Bale in the side.

Ok, cheap shot. I apologise. But how gutted and depressed must he feel to see us score moments after being subbed? Regardless of the voodoo, I think it’s unfair to be too harsh on the team today. They gave it a go. 15 shots on target, 11 off. James saved wonderfully from Defoe and Lennon (on one occasion when he actually put some direction and power behind the ball). Bent's miss will haunt me all the up to the next Prem game. Serves me right for laughing at Zaki’s embarrassment yesterday when he also missed an open goal when it was seemingly impossible to do so.

The fact we created so much but didn’t punish a Pompey side who weren’t too shy of goal either, highlights the desperate need for Redknapp to sign a player who will partner Defoe to (near enough) perfection.

Pav, as much as I want him to do well, isn’t the right player for the current predicament. He still looks a little lost, and although I prefer not to believe that his interpreter runs up and down the sidelines during training, translating phrases like ‘flick it on’ and ‘run into space’, I think he will benefit a team that’s balanced and winning. I suddenly see the appeal of Jones (Sunderland), although the asking price is ridiculous. Is he as accomplished a top flight goal scorer as let’s say, Darren Bent was, before we signed him? No. And look at how average that particular £15M turned out to be. The goals scored by Bent at Charlton, a team who worked hard on the counter, was never really suited for Spurs. You don't buy a particular style of player before you need him. We bought him when we already had 3 top class players. He was bought on the back of the goals scored and the hype surrounding him. No margin of error this time round. When I said near enough to perfection, I meant it. Defoe needs the perfect foil (or vice-versa).

If Villa bid £8M for bent, then we should add a bit of salt and pepper, a dollop of ketchup, and then bite their appetising hand off. Our Russian lad should play from the bench and spend the rest of the season working hard to settle in England and learn the language. As much as we cry out for a quality DM, we are just as desperate for a quality striker.

Add to that a centre-back. King went off injured. His replacement, Dawson, was very good in his place. But we need to start looking hard at bringing someone to partner Woodgate on a more permanent basis. King, we love him, but the team as a whole is more important than one individual player. The defence has to be strong and his cameos are not enough for us to be able to drive through some consistency at the back.

Back to Bale. Remember why we signed him? He’s a talent. Fantastic going forward, not brilliant defensively, but a wonderful young player. He has not lost those abilities. He is simply a wonderful player that is in rotten rotten form. When you miss Ekotto at left-back, then you know things are bad. Gareth's confidence is shot to pieces, and our much publicised lack of depth is apparent here when we have to select a player that is struggling. I hope Spurs keep the faith in the long run with Bale. We have a habit of buying young players with tons of potential for massive fees (we basically pay what the player would be worth if he turned out to be good four years from now) and then sell them if they don’t have a great start. Kaboul anyone? £8M for that gem.

So back to the game. We need to be winning these home matches. I know we missed out on the giddy heights of 12th spot, but it’s not relevant thanks to everyone practically being equal down at the bottom. The Prem won’t begin to shape up down there for another 5 or games. Might even take more. Not worth the risk in waiting and re-evaluating week to week. We need to start collating the points with that much needed urgency.

Winning today would also mean nothing if we don’t beat Stoke in our next match. It seems we are forced into re-evaluating the mathematics from week to week. That luxury will soon be gone as we move closer to game 38. Don't know about you, but going to Liverpool needing to win to stay-up on the final day of the season isn't something that I want to experience. Even if they had a dodgy lasagne, I still wouldn't fancy our chances.

By the end of Jan, we’ll hopefully have several new recruits. You would hope we'd be a far more stronger outfit come Feb, and we'd need to be to beat the top table sides (as we can't appear to beat anyone below mid-table). Points have to start rolling in.

Imagine having Berba and Keane upfront today. How many do you reckon we would have scored based on chances created? Add to it the creativity and space created by a winning partnership as our two departed players shared, and we’d be laughing. Throw in a DM and if you want to be cheeky, a left-winger and the doom and gloom will be non-existent.

What we got instead was a little bit of the old anti-luck (that Bent miss and an early Defoe chance which should have been on target). Good luck is something you get when you will yourself forwards, it smiles on you not when you are down in the dumps but when you strive to get to a higher place. Far too many of our players are feeling sorry for themselves.

Lennon played well, and is arguably our best player this season. He’s even learnt to plant a cross on a forwards head. O’Hara was busy, but is always prone to one error, which can usually lead to disaster. He got away with it today. Modric, oh Modric. I really do hope Appiah is signed by us (as I doubt Palacios is going to bother with City throwing money his way) because Luka needs a strong centre-pairing to allow him the freedom to create. He played well second half, but his back-turning moment to a tackle which saw David Nugent almost (should have) scored is not the type of thing you want to see in a dogfight. Zokora was Zokora. His first touch is Sutcliffesque, and his another player who struggles with the simple things.

Bentley wasn’t too shabby when he came on. Apart from one or two set-pieces. He created that chance for Bent. Would have been a perfect assist that. He definitely has the look of a player feeling sorry for himself. But his performance was encouraging.

Defoe took his goal very well (glad to have him back), through the legs of Sol Campbell. Nice touch. And how refreshing was it not to spend the whole game singing silly songs about this ex-player? Although when the Park Lane hummed the controversial re-worked Lord of the Dance song, I even saw a copper smile.

Altogether now.....

Sol Sol
La la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la

Overall, decent game, decent performance – and on another day, we could have won it (but on the flip side, Pompey could have scored one or two more themselves....and Nugent scored, so that sums that up). David James played his part, as he usually does when he faces us.

Stoke at home MUST BE, HAS TO BE three points for us. Much like today was, but the Prem, as I said, allows for this re-evaluation. For now.

Redknapp did well today considering the players who got injured (Pav shouldn’t be out for too long, but King is ‘long term'). And Gomes, Corluka and Lennon all played on with slight knocks. Harry could only make the one tactical substitution today.

Bit more application required, urgency too and whoever we bring in should see to it. I hope. It’s a broken record, but formations and tactics will work better if the right players are in the right positions.

It’s crazy that around 9 months ago, White Hart Lane was the goal-scoring capital of the world. Blink, and you’d miss one. 4-4’s all the range, yet today, although defensively we have one of the best records at home, offensively it’s the worst in all of the leagues.

Obviously, we need to be running around a lot more and sticking it in the net.

Morning

According to SSN, Harry wants rid of Pav, but nobody is interested. 1 goal in every 2 games Pav obviously doesn't know where the back of the net is, the lazy Carlos Kickaball. How dare he not settle in London and average 2 goals per game from the off. Considering the lack of depth we have upfront, this is yet another example of lazy unnecessary reporting which has no relevance to anything other than filling up a couple of hours of time in between all the rehashed-every-20-minutes of non-event headlines going into the weekend that Sky Sports News drowns in.

Ramos, apparently wants Adam Johnson. I kid you not. Madrid obviously going for a next generation galactico.

Elsewhere, forgot to mention yesterday the Jamie Redknapp to Chelsea story. He's apparently coaching reserve players twice a week (so sadly he'll be free to pundit on Sky Sports over the weekend). Massive massive move there for Jamie, and no doubt he'll continue to be impartial when discussing his cousin Frank Lampard, Chelsea, Liverpool and his dad at Tottenham. I don't know about you, but if I'm out at White Hart Lane and miss whatever is being televised I rush home after the final whistle, and sit in-front of the tv with my wank-rag watching Jamie tells us how it is in that ever handsome yet definitely not clichéd manner he has when he insightfully tells us he can see a chess game when all we can see is 45 minutes of fucking crap. Surely our Jamie would have been a better bet than Tim 'I hate Spurs unless they are paying me wages and all the slagging off I did about them on the radio didn't really happen' Sherwood.

We've lost out big time there people. Big time.

Metrochenko

Nothing too dramatic here, but thought I'd share for fits and giggles. My brother-in-law was wandering through the aisles at the Waltham Abbey Tescos, and who does he see? None other than our Russian no-paced smiling destroyer of Liverpool, Roman Pavlyuchenko. A regular fixture there apparently as he's still house hunting and thus currently residing at the Marriott.

Maybe someone can shed some light on how 'Roman' is actually phonetically pronounced in English, as my brother-in-law called out his name twice to no avail, until Pav finally turned round realising someone was obviously attempting to attract his attention.

Doubt he understood a word, but hands were shaken and a 'good luck, happy to have you at Spurs' exchange took place with the Russkie smiling and nodding. One of the counter-girls told my brother-in-law this was the first time she had seen him shopping there without his interpretor. Looks like he's venturing out all on his own now. Bless.

And what was our (probably) £40,000 a week striker shopping for? A £20 Tesco's DVD player. That's almost forgiveable considering his current living arrangements.

The Louis Vuitton man-bag, however, is not.

The magic of tomato ketchup

Harry re-introduces it to the canteen and we go from scoring 12 goals in 12 games to notching up 12 in just 4. And if that doesn't prove the genius that is Redknapp, then asking Roman Pavlyuchenko, via his translator, to just 'Fucking runabout' (which resulted eventually in a last gasp goal against Liverpool) must surely deserve a sing-a-along.

All we need now is the re-introduction of a little mayo, and we'll be climbing that table in no time.

WE'RE GONNA WIN THE LEAGUE!

Pav Update

Just how thick is Roman Pavlyuchenko? About £14M worth of thick.

After a hectic Russian domestic season and a sudden move from Moscow to London, Roman at no point since his Spurs debut has looked match-fit. 75% at a stretch. And thanks to Tottenham's dithering and additional alleged agent interference (which meant his Russian team-mate Andrei Arshavin stayed at Zenit rather than paraded around at White Hart lane), he has yet to settle down in London. Like any player from a far-away land, things don't always come together quickly.

Three weeks rest would be the best option, but the player has demanded a second opinion. Basically, he will dismiss the doctors who are paid by the people that pay his wages, and will accept the decision made by the doctors that look after the Russian players.

Ankle ligament trouble, yet he prefers to play. He could quite possibly aggravate the injury further and spend more time out for Spurs. Not that the lack of other striker options is his fault.

As for Guus Hiddink, please do one.

The player, considering his form, should take the oppurtinity to shut the fuck up and rest.

Pav out for three weeks

Down to just the two forwards now. We're doing are very best to make things even more tricky for ourselves.

Pav: Spurs fans don't need goals

From Russian Media:

MOSCOW, September 24 (RIA Novosti) - Russian striker Roman Pavlyuchenko has spoken of his shock at the intensity of training sessions at his new club Tottenham Hotspur.

"In England they have a different system of training," he told the Russian Sovetski-Sport paper.

"Right now the games are on Wednesday, Sunday, Wednesday, Saturday. The training is like this - those who played get to recover, and the rest do light training with the ball. It's not that tough," he began.

"But when there is a week's gap between games, training is serious. I barely survived it when I'd just arrived. I looked at my watch and saw that the training session had gone on for exactly two hours! Then another half an hour in the gym! Two and a half hours! Can you imagine that?" he said.

"I trained like never in my life before, I swear! The weights started to get to me, and I stopped and said to the trainer, 'I can't do this.' That's how they work - I'm shocked. I thought it would be a lot easier," he said.

Pavlyuchenko, whose three goals in five matches at Euro 2008 attracted the attention of Tottenham manager Juande Ramos, moved to the London club from Spartak Moscow at the end of August in a reported $28 million deal. He replaced Bulgarian star Dimitar Berbatov, who recently signed for Manchester United.

The striker, labeled a "sleeping giant" by Russian national side manager Guus Hiddink before Euro 2008, also said that he was disappointed by his first two games for his new club.

His first game for the club saw Tottenham lose 2-1 at home to Aston Villa, and the second, also a home game, a 0-0 draw with Wigan. Pavlyuchenko was substituted at half-time in the Wigan match in what Ramos called a tactical decision" that did not reflect on the striker's performance.

Tottenham are currently bottom of the English Premier League and are without a win in five games, their worst start to a season for 34 years.

"Personally, I didn't enjoy the first match or the second. I didn't like how I played. I asked Juande Ramos why he had taken me off and he said that it wasn't because I played badly, but because he had decided to change the tactical scheme. He told me not to fret about it. He's a good bloke, and easy to talk to," said Pavlyuchenko.

Despite the less than successful nature of his first two games in England, the Russian international was very impressed by Tottenham's White Hart Lane stadium and the club's fans.

"White Hart lane is crazy!" he said. "I don't even know how to describe it. You go out for a game and you get goosebumps. The field is like a snooker table - it's super! The fans sing, yell, and stand up and applaud. They don't even need goals... running, battling for the ball... that's what the English love," Pavlyuchenko said.

Tottenham travel to Newcastle United for a Carling Cup 3rd round tie on Wednesday evening.

I know, he doesn't mean how it's read (keep it in context) but I'm sure some tabloid rag will pick up the 'they don't need goals' quote. If he thinks the WHL crowd is crazy, then I can't wait for us to start winning games. We have been anything but crazy thus far. Apart from 20 minutes here and there.

As for the training, sounds like he is being a tad too honest. Two and half hours training? Try sitting in front of a monitor for 8 hours while your brain melts from boredom.