Two players and a referee walk into a pub.......

"What do you both want to drink?" Asks the ref.
"I'll have a pint", says one of the players. "Make mine a rum", says the other.
The ref then sneezes a 'Dummy's Guide to understanding Java' out of his nose and Deirdre from Coronation Street wakes up from her dream explaining the fundamentals of dark matter in spoken Hebrew to the badger with the head like a golf ball. He laughs and the squirrels feast on the dead carcass of themselves from the future. North Korea then star-jumps with a knowing nod and remarks 'Καλά Χριστούγεννα'.


Confused? Was that joke a little on the random side? Inexplicable and surreal? I personally thought it made far more sense than some of the decisions I witnessed during Saturdays 2-1 defeat to Blackburn Rovers.

In particular, the foul on Palacios.

No matter how many times I watch it, all I see is Aaron Mokoena shoulder-charging Wilson Palacios face. Even looks like he shapes up to hit him as he runs towards our midfield powerhouse. Surely a red card ref, no? The right honourable Mr Walton didn't see it as such, but no surprise there considering what he did and didn't see through-out the afternoon. Whether it was the penalty he gave to us, the one he didn't give to Rovers or the second yellow to Palacios.

Allardyce (if you happen to notice) subbed the defender almost immediately after Mokoena flattened Wilson. Hmm...I wonder why.

Nothing has been said about this since (from what I've seen). And not a lot was made of it at the time either. Wilson (eventually) got up and got on with it. No damage done. I can't remember Andy Gray having kittens about it either. Mountain out of a mole hill then? Maybe I'm being too protective of a player in Lilywhite.

Or perhaps it does not require a re-visit based on the fact that Wilson does not wear the colours of Man Utd/Liverpool/Chelsea/Arsenal thus deeming the incident a non-event and a simple case of over-exuberance and Wilson's face getting in the way of very legal player-to-player contact.

The irony of later on having to watch Palacios get red-carded for basically attempting to avoid physicality with Dunn (and avoid a certain card) and thus falling to the ground and still receiving a card is completely and utterly lost on me. With Johnson of Pompey sent off for running in one of the other Saturday games, it's like some kind of weird experiment in anti-football where refs are following directives set by David Lynch.

Respect the referee? Sure I will. But only after the backwards talking midget in the room with the red drapes tells me to.

Morning

According to SSN, Harry wants rid of Pav, but nobody is interested. 1 goal in every 2 games Pav obviously doesn't know where the back of the net is, the lazy Carlos Kickaball. How dare he not settle in London and average 2 goals per game from the off. Considering the lack of depth we have upfront, this is yet another example of lazy unnecessary reporting which has no relevance to anything other than filling up a couple of hours of time in between all the rehashed-every-20-minutes of non-event headlines going into the weekend that Sky Sports News drowns in.

Ramos, apparently wants Adam Johnson. I kid you not. Madrid obviously going for a next generation galactico.

Elsewhere, forgot to mention yesterday the Jamie Redknapp to Chelsea story. He's apparently coaching reserve players twice a week (so sadly he'll be free to pundit on Sky Sports over the weekend). Massive massive move there for Jamie, and no doubt he'll continue to be impartial when discussing his cousin Frank Lampard, Chelsea, Liverpool and his dad at Tottenham. I don't know about you, but if I'm out at White Hart Lane and miss whatever is being televised I rush home after the final whistle, and sit in-front of the tv with my wank-rag watching Jamie tells us how it is in that ever handsome yet definitely not clichéd manner he has when he insightfully tells us he can see a chess game when all we can see is 45 minutes of fucking crap. Surely our Jamie would have been a better bet than Tim 'I hate Spurs unless they are paying me wages and all the slagging off I did about them on the radio didn't really happen' Sherwood.

We've lost out big time there people. Big time.

Challenge Spurs™ - I really really love Sky Sports, I really do

We won. 1-0. Pav with another goal (that's 6 in 9 now). Great first half performance, but couldn't score that second which would have made it just a little bit less of a 'Oh God please no last minute equaliser' type of afternoon.

Second half, with Rovers down to 10 men was still fairly comfortable thanks to their inability to push forward and apply any type of pressure. Lennon, was in cracking form. Hasn't just put in pacey performances here and there this season, he's actually playing decently week in week out. Another reason to pat Harry Redknapp on the back.

Out of the bottom three, for the second time, and up to the giddy heights of 14th. Nosebleeds all round.

Now the match review is out of the way, let's get down to the business of ironic cheering and Sky Sports who pride themselves on hype and bullshit. See, a game of football is never enough for them. They have to take something and turn it into something else and do their best to make sure it builds a nice bit of momentum so that Sky Sports News have something to talk about every 30 minutes. Although (ironically) we have ourselves to blame for cheering in this manner in the first place, thus given them opportunity to run with it.

Spurs fans cheered with smiles on their faces every time Gomes got hold of the ball without a fumble or flap in sight. Now usually, ironic cheers like these are kept for the visit of David James. These type of cheers are blatantly tongue-in-cheek piss-takes. Because for all of James ability to drop a clanger, he can pull a mighty fine world-class save out of the bag. And we know it. Much like he knows it. There's no argument that these type of cheers are of an ironic nature. And YES, its not the cleverest thing for Spurs fans to do the same thing for their own keeper, because of the way it will be misconstrued.

However, to suggest Spurs fans this afternoon were cynical or negative to Gomes is mountain out of a mole hill ridiculous. That includes you Harry (who mentioned it in a post-match interview). Abusive language and booing is far worse than ironic cheering. And I'll prove it to you.

Back to the suggestion that this form of pisstaking is moral draining is it of the same level as the the Sky Sports Soccer Saturday panel do when they laugh and giggle and make jokes at Gomes expense? If Spurs fans 'hated' Gomes or did not want him in the side they would boo and shout abuse whenever he got the ball, not cheer or sing his name or applaud him - all things that Sky prefer not to mention because if they do, there's no story to be told.

People who publish photos on the back pages of the papers with clever and witty headlines, ridiculing a man for millions of people to read about is something I'd wager more likely to hit his confidence than a few hundred people cheering at a game.

Touched upon it a moment ago, but no mention of the same Spurs fans singing 'We love you Gomes, we do'. Why? Was this an editorial decision to make Spurs fans look bad? How about a news item on the constant booing the Arsenal home fans dish out to their own players. Or are they being ironic?

[ repeating myself ] Ironically cheering an opposition keeper for simple ball handling is what it is - a piss take. [ / repeating myself ]. When you do it to your own, its not the brightest of ideas even when meant in good-humour. But its far from being devastating. Much like Spurs fans singing 'England's Number One' to Robbo last year when he was complete shit. Surely that could be deemed ironic too? No? Robinson appreciated it, much like the positive applause he got from us today (he throw his gloves into the Spurs crowd......on purpose, they didn't slip off his hands).

For every Gomes fuck-up, he's made 3 or 4 great great saves. Doesn't excuse his fuck-ups, but one or two media hacks should concentrate on the facts rather than soap opera sub-plots. That includes Match of the Day 2 this evening.

Facts?

We sang his name.
He acknowledged us at the start of both the first and second halves of the game, during the game and after it when he APPLAUDED THE FANS.
The fans behind both goals stood up and applauded him.
He even managed a 'thank you' in our direction and was the last Spurs player off the field at the end of the game, having celebrated the three points with the home faithful.

This is Spurs AND Gomes sticking a middle finger up to the armchair pretty-boys and shaved-gorilla(s). I'd say its best next time to leave out the irony, but it was clear to anyone with their eyes and ears open that Gomes was just fine, got over his early mishap missing the ball completely and grow stronger in confidence as the game progressed.

So, fuck you Sky Sports.

And now back to Challenge Spurs™.

13 points in the bag now, halfway through the Dirty Dozen. Still part of the yo-yo that is 20th - 11th, and currently sitting in at 15th spot. Home win next weekend is once again imperative. But can't argue with our current form, even if we are still way way off playing at full capacity. And talk of Europe is still not acceptable.

Everton at the Lane next.

Top 4 Bias

"Hope for a Liverpool goal for the sake of a good finish"

Yes, over at Setanta Sports the usual pro-Top 4 biased commentary kicked into over-drive. As per usual. Obviously they agreed with the Liverpool fans that the Bale tackle should have led to a penalty and thus moaned about "The overall poor reffing (sic) of the entire game" adding that "Rafa has every right to be disappointed" (That's Rafa, first name terms there - our man was always referred to as Redknapp).

On came the usual soundbites defending the defeat. Rafas shadow side/second string/youngsters apparently 'outplaying us' on occasions against an 'experienced Tottenham side'.

Sky's commentary from their SKY Live Score Centre bore more of the same:

"Boateng runs into the track of Babel but somehow earns himself a free-kick"

"I hardly dare say it, but it looks like Spurs are there now - the quarter finals await"

Hardly dare say what? The result was never in doubt and was fully deserved. I'm sure if Liverpool had won we would have heard about Rafa's brilliant selection of randoms out-smarted Tottenham's first eleven. As for Boateng, he was fouled. Or is it not permitted to be a victim?

I can forgive the Daily Mail for telling everyone that we were lucky against City and even going back to the Arsenal game (they cant kill a team off) and the Liverpool result (they don't know how to score) and can doubly forgive them for having four photographs from the 4-4 derby, three of which were Arsenal players celebrating their goals. I can forgive them because the Daily Mail is a rancid mess of a cuntness.

Setanta and Sky should try to break their mould once in a while. Match of the Day too. But then the whole point is that the 'elite' deserve the coverage they get because they are the best in the land. But the bias which is blatantly apparent within the coverage is now beginning to bore me.

It's ok for Liverpool to lose games, it really is.

Owen

Allegedly spotted leaving the Spurs training ground around quarter to ten this morning.

Wind-up? Or carefully placed dis-information? If this story appears on Sky Sports News today, then Owen was at the Lodge this morning - no question about it.

You ain't seen me...........right?

If having Ledley wasn't frustrating enough?

Paul Merson

How wonderfully bitter and twisted some people can people, claiming that Lampard's cross-come-goal was superior to Bentleys, which, according to Merson, was a hit and hope effort and wasn't all that great.

Keep on mouthing off you horrid little man. Had Fabregas scored that we'd never hear the end of it, about how brilliant the technique was and how he spotted the keeper off his line and aimed for the back of the net.

Which is exactly what Bentley did, you shit-eyed twat.

Poster boy redeems himself?

I didn't catch the half-time Sky Sports pundit panel the other night, but did see the same footage (of Bentley falling over 3 times) before they showed the other angle where it proved he was actually fouled.

"It wasn't a foul"

Since then, I've watched the footage where Jamie asks 3 times for the production team to show it, with Richard Keyes scoffing and suggesting he was 'clutching at straws'. Until of course, the other angle proves Bentley was tripped.

Seems having his dad as the manager of the much maligned Tottenham (violin plays) has sent Jamie a little insane. How dare he question Sky and their bias in favour of their Top Four©.

May the madness continue.

Now Bentley is at it

Interviewed by the highbrow ZOO magazine (you can read the extract on Sky Sports) David Bentley has been stating the bloody obvious. It's another slice of sound-bite heaven.

"Throughout this hard start to Tottenham's season, it's the fans who have suffered most"

Insightful. Is it the constant booing and depression at WHL? Or maybe the humiliation of two points and bottom of the table? While most fans struggle to get together the £700 or so to buy a season ticket, you earn £30K+ for hitting the first man with every corner. It's the type of irony that gently crawls up your back and then bites you in the neck, sucking the very life out of you.

"They are the ones who pay good money, they are the ones who have the right to be frustrated and they are the ones we are trying to make proud"

Not trying hard enough. Stop trying to appease us with awareness of perspective. We know we have the right, but I see no proud-making attempts on the pitch. Just chaos.

"A lot of people have an opinion on us at the moment, but it's the fans who really matter"

Again with a shout-out to the fans. Yeah, we are the ones that matter. Thanks for pointing that out, but how about changing peoples opinion by producing the good on the pitch? At least then I can be spared reading yet another Spurs players 'We know we've been shit, we're gonna try our bestest, its gonna be alright' interview.

"Our next league game is at Stoke and playing away might feel a little easier for some of our team right now. At home, you feel the tension on the pitch and there are those who might prefer away games, where there's less expectation"

Honestly, what kind of sodding excuse is this? Is David placing the blame on fan-pressure? A few times this season we have attempted to get the boys going with one or two emotional sing-a-longs, to no avail. A team that believes its better than it is (and if you listen to King, Woodgate, Dawson and Bent you'd think we were almost potential world-beaters) shouldn't be choking or freezing on their home patch. And as for 'less expectation' away, this is probably the reason why our away record over the years has been so pathetic. Where is the confidence? Ok, sure, it's not sitting amongst us at the minute, but to suggest that Spurs have less expectation in away games is quite possibly the most backwards thing I've heard in recent weeks. I know what David is trying to say, but regardless, it's stupid.

"There will always be stick from the fans, but if you're not performing, what do you expect? Does it affect some of the lads? You'll have to ask them"

So in other words, yes it does affect them. What a bunch of pussies.

"From one win, we can rebuild our season. It hasn't happened for some reason but we have faith in our ability - we have to - and believe we'll get out of trouble. It's about attitude and when we get out of this dip, we will be stronger for it."

I'm wondering what the likes of Ramos, Poyet, Bent, King and Bentley churn out if we lose to Stoke on Sunday? Because they are fast running out of soundbites. One win will probably kick-start the season, but that win has to come on Sunday and if it fails to come in the next 3-4 games, then go into hiding for a couple of seasons.

Dead Man Walking

Dead Man Walking - Guest Blog by 'The East Stander'


On Sky’s Sunday Supplement, various journalists (and I use that word loosely) debated the current state of Tottenham Hotspur. You can watch the video here:

http://www.skysports.com/story/0,19528,11096_2665571,00.html .


It’s Damien Comolli you idiots, not Daniel. And Martin Jol wasn’t brought to the club originally as a Director of Football either. Superb researching on display by England’s finest reporters. I’m not going to dispute any longer that Jol’s position at the club is on thin ice. Even though the journos from the above link were making assumptions based on rumours, the fact that people are discussing any of this means that it’s in the heads of Levy and Jol and pressure is then created from a situation where it might not have existed in the first place.

Jol gave his speech last season and gave credit to Levy. After the opening two defeats, people claiming to know people at the club began to spread rumours. Jol’s job was no longer safe. He and Levy did not see eye to eye. Comolli and Jol do not get on. Jol has not approved of several signings made (i.e. Zokora, Bent). Suddenly, it’s being suggested that the past two years have been achieved through a divided management team that do not get on.

Bookies stopped taking bets on Jol being sacked.

This (prior to the Derby game) appeared on a Spurs forum:

Right dont shoot the messenger but I’m just passing on what I’ve been told this morning by my friend...
He is helping out a lad today whose dad is very good mates with Chris Hughton...
He has said Jol and him are gone after the Derby game whatever happens..
Jol has said to the players he wants a win against derby, a wave goodbye to the crowd before being forced out, he wants to leave with his head held high...
It fits in with what is being said...
Id be gutted if he goes as I love him as a character and a personality, but I’ve been having doubts for a while now whether he has what it takes it get us challenging for the next level...
And was echoed across other forums that suggested that Jol was a dead man walking.

Of course, Spurs won 4-0. And the people who suggested Jol was gone backtracked, saying that Levy had not been able to draft in a replacement and that apparently he will get rid of the manager once we ‘the fans’ turn against him. The Favourite being Ramos of Seville who was apparently spotted with chief executive John Alexander and director Paul Kemsley. The Sunday Mirror had pictures (too low quality to print). Ramos denied the stories, but people would simply suggest ‘where there’s smoke there’s fire’.

There’s been no official word from Spurs. Of course any official word would probably constitute a ‘vote of confidence’ so they can’t win on that front.

But even though I would want to dismiss all stories as mis-truths, Jol appears to be fighting his corner:

“I always think of David Moyes and Everton,” Martin Jol, the Tottenham Hotspur manager, said. “He had a very good year, then the next year was horrendous, but nobody said anything. And now they have a good team and are challenging for the top six. So I just think, leave me be.”

“The board has never personally told me I have to break into the top four,” Jol said, “and betting on me to get the sack, I don’t think so – but you never know. I thought there were whispers last year, but there are whispers at every club. I’m the same as maybe seven people in every ten – I can’t take f***ing criticism.

“As a manager, you want time to build a team. Look at Arsenal and Liverpool, how many of my players would get in for them? If it is six or seven, then we must be fourth. If it is one or two, then we are overachieving. In 25 years, no Tottenham manager has had the number of points we have won over two seasons. None of them.”

Unless he is fighting the media rather than Levy with his words.


On another Spurs forum, a member was asked to post the following – which is apparently from a Spurs board member. Not exactly official club policy to go through a message board rather than the official club site:

As I know you are always in the chatroom, can I provide you with the current position please.

Re Ramos, Klinsmann etc - We are not negotiating with any managers about the replacement of Martin Jol at this time. We are an ambitious club and it is a realistic ambition that we should look to CL qualification, so anything that looks like we may not make it is bound to lead to speculation and we fully expect that. No manager's future is decided on one or two games and it is insulting to suggest that this board would do that.

Re Martin and Damien - they have a good working relationship - the football management board works - no player comes into this club that Martin doesnt agree to - it would be ludicrous to suggest that money would be spent on players Martin did not favour and whom he would not then play, Damien has brought talent to the club with Martin's approval - and we would not have players like Berbatov and Bale without him to mention but two (there are obviously many more).

Re left position - always difficult as evidenced by the fact that the majority of prem teams (Liverpool a notable exception) play a right footer on the left. We have Lennon, Malbranque (who played a blinder on the left yesterday) Bale and Keane. So we have many options and yet we will still look as depth is a key factor of the squad.

Please let me know if any rumours running amok that I have not answered here - will be happy to! best regards,

Too confusing, isn’t it? No real way of knowing whether Mido’s dig at Tottenham’s ‘politics’ is true or just a bitter parting word at the fact that he was shifted out of the club having dropped to 5th in the pecking order.

And are forums really this powerful tool of mass hysteria where a few words posted suddenly appear in the next days edition of The Sun or Mirror?

Is Levy to blame for failing to buck a trend and behave in the manner that has become synonymous with the past - bad management. Why do we have to persistently rock the boat? Or is modern day football to blame, breeding impatience in the terraces and on the board.

Maybe its not all rumours. Maybe there is truth in it. Maybe I'm blinded by the fact that Jol has achieved great success compared to the past set of managers who have failed miserably - but I fail to see that he might not be capable of taking us further.

I said that I no longer dispute the fact that Jol's days maybe numbered. And as you can tell from this article I am unable to settle down into one school of thought on this.

If Jol wasn't in trouble he is now. And its more to do with the hype surrounding it than the actual logical process that should be considered (i.e. give Jol the time he needs).

Maybe sacking him isn't too bad an idea if Ramos replaces him. But I just can't find myself liking that idea at this moment. That must make me pro-Jol and anti-Levy. Spooky will be pleased with that. Though he's anti-everything at the best of times.


TES