RAUL: The pasta was over-cooked and Juande spilt wine on his shirt

Raul admits to Tottenham interest
Spurs almost sign Raul
How I almost joined Tottenham
Almost a Spur

You’d think we nearly signed him if you don’t look beyond the overly dramatic headlines. Fact is all Raul did was have lunch with Ramos (whilst still Spurs boss) along with Gines Carvajal who is agent to both. Raul claims that they called him to discuss English football, as he was interested in hearing Juandes experience of Tottenham and the Premier League. Apparently he likes the English game. Hidden away in some of these reports (not all) is another Raul quote about ‘interpretations’ relating to the fact that Ramos was then sacked by Spurs and appointed Madrid boss. Sounds like Raul/Carvajal are trying to dismiss more local rumours (back in Spain) about Raul tapping up the then Spurs boss.

Here’s a better headline for this story: Nothing to see here, please move along, slow-news day.

Elsewhere, Darko Lazovic has had a successful trial at Spurs, impressing in the past month. The 18-year old playmaker is currently at FK Borac Cacak and is valued at a lowly 500k (expect imminent £15M offer soon then). Reports suggest he will sign for us, even though nothing is directly mentioned other than the player saying he is in no rush to make a decision.

We don’t have the greatest track record at the minute when purchasing hyped kids. Gio, Adel, Kevin Prince Boateng – all have been bit part players in their time at Spurs. KPB has gone back to Germany on loan. Gio is nowhere near the first team squad and rumours continue to persist about a summer departure (almost joined Pompey back in January). And as for Adel……great talent (was buzzing on international duty for Morocco mid-week) needs development on decision making. Harry fancies him a bit and we’ll probably see a lot more of his magic feet in the coming weeks (play him from the start in the UEFA Cup rather than a late cameo appearance where he tries to hard to impress). As for Gareth Bale (another kid), he’ll reclaim his past form for us (he looks class for Wales) soon enough. He just needs to find the voodoo doll and remove the last few remaining pins.

edit: Adel isn't in the UEFA Cup squad. Gutted. We'll have to stick with the cameos until next season then.

As for Darko, sign him up if the kid is a genuine talent rather than hype. Sounds like he might have enough about him to knock on the first team door sooner rather than later. ComolliVision no longer a concern.

And Spurs are doing something right at the moment with the academy team who are exceptional (thanks to Alex Inglethorpe). As long as the experienced first teamers get it together, bringing the younger players into the fold won’t be so daunting and morale crushing. Maybe the likes of Gio and KPB (who was never a Young German Player of the Year no matter how many times the newspapers tell you) were the wrong type of signings for us.

Not much else to report on at the moment. International week followed by Cup weekend has bored me to tears. UEFA Cup? Oh yeah. Not sure you can count the Shakhtar Donetsk game as important. I always want Spurs to win. But I can’t say this weeks UEFA Cup first leg in the Ukraine is something I’m excited about. We can’t win the competition with so many players cup-tied (Corluka, Keane, Pavlyuchenko) and not risked (King) along with the fact that we’re a bit shit. Three points in the next league match is the only priority for us - that and Wembley, I guess.

I’ll be watching the game on Thursday hoping to see some of the ‘kids’ perhaps get a baptism of fire (not so daunting and moral crushing if we lose as Shakhtar are no mugs and there is little expectation for this game). Won’t lost any sleep if it goes pear-shaped. Hull, sandwiched between the two legs (ooh matron), is the one to win. Don’t see us risking too many players considering that winning at Wembley would also be quite nice. I could do with a smile. We could all do with a smile. Doesn’t mean the players who are selected to play in the Ukraine don’t give it 110%. Even if the game is not a priority, they should still aim to impress.

Cheeky 2-1 win then to us?

And finally, Roman Pavyluchenko is struggling to come to terms with the English language, women and food. To be perfectly honest, it sounds like he’s settled in just fine. Welcome to England. You’re one of us now.

Nice of you to turn up 45 minutes late

Carling Cup Semi-Final
Spurs 4 Burnley 1


Only Spurs can infuriate me this much. Woeful first half of football. Bale and Bentley were tragically bad and the team as a whole, shit. I'm not going to take a thing away from Burnley. They played tidy football, broke well and took their goal (gift) with confidence. The first half consisted of us playing what I like to call zombie football. I'm not talking about the fast moving Rage virus zombies from 28 Days Later or the Dawn of the Dead remake. There was nothing agile about our display. I'm talking about the zombies from the George A. Romero original. Slow us fuck. And unlike the zombies in that classic film, we lacked any kind of menace when in possession. It was, yes you've guessed it, inept®.

I can never figure out how the minds of Tottenham players work. If this was Arsenal at home, we'd be 100 miles per hour from the off. Instead, we allowed a Championship side (a good one at that) to dictate. It wasn't anything spectacular mind. They made one or two chances, but you could see they were not a real threat if....if we stepped up a gear. But as the half dragged on, the worse we got.

I don't want to start pointing my finger at Bentley again, but he was having a nightmare of a game. Much like most of his appearances for us. Everyone was lethargic and sleepy, and mis-hit passes and crosses (even Lennon was struggling) but Bentley was particularly bad. And Bale looked utterly lost.

There are two decent, very decent, players in there somewhere but it looks like it's going take a while to get them to smile and play well. If you need an irreverent back-heel flick, Bentleys your man, but anything that requires simplicity, no chance. Bale was a nervous mess.

Its all about confidence. There was a point in the first half that Bale could have taken the ball on and run into the penalty area. He didn't. That split second decision resulted in him playing the ball sideways. No belief there at the minute, because if he took it on and fucked it up, he'll get more moans and groans from the crowd, and too much thinking about the negatives eats away at players. Which is why Bentley is deep into Paul Robinson territory at the minute.

The way Eagles run through the two of them to set up Burnley's opener was embarrassingly easy.

Off went Bentley at half-time and on came Jamie O'Hara. Now Jamie will never be world-class. Or even good enough to play for the England first team. But he has bite and determination, even if he needs a couple of touches to control the ball. He gets stuck in. And thanks to the switch and the half-time bollocking, Spurs stepped it up. Why the overpaid gits couldn't muster this tempo in the first half is anyone's guess.

You're at home. Against opposition from a lower league. In a semi-final. FUCKING WELL SHOW US THE GULF IN CLASS. Ok, so they knocked out second-string Fulham, Arsenal and Chelsea sides. And they play pretty football. But be a sodding professional about it.

Incoming Jamie corner. Dawson meets it with his head. 1-1. Perfect script-writing. Livened up the fans a little. To be fair, we are never any good at home against lower-league opposition when it comes to singing/chanting. First half, our lack of noise shadowed the teams performance. Second half, with the change in effort on the pitch, inspired us to stand up and shake off the icicles to sing a song or two.

Five minutes later, Jamie manages to squirm the ball (well its more a case of the keeper allowing it to squirm) under his legs from a volley. 2-1. In the 65th it was 3-1, this time Pav driving the ball home after breezing way too easily past the Burnley defender. Goal in every round from the Russkie. 4-1, and it's practically done and dusted. Own goal this time.

If Zokora had 1% shooting ability he would have made it 5, but this being Zokora, the ball has yet to be retrieved from Glasgow city centre.

I'd say that's us at Wembley, but if Burnley come out all guns blazing and we play as badly as we did in the first half, they have every chance. But somehow, I can't see that happening. Would be daft to fuck it up that badly now.

Gio back on the bench today. Along with Adel and KPB - but none of them had a cameo. Which was a shame. No Ghaly. But expected this. Best to have him on the bench for Sunday and maybe bring him on then. Less of the boo-boys around at away games.

Special mentions: Defoe. Bit surreal to see him back. He has a right good chance to shine now that there is no longer a Berbatov or Keane at the club. Nigh impossible to break that partnership (which was arguably one of the best in the country). I think he'll work well upfront with Pav.

The Burnley fans right next to me in Block 42. Some decent banter going on, although one or two got a tad too serious with the abuse when the score was reversed in our favour. Unlike last year which was against Arsenal and it meant a lot for obvious reasons (failure to get there the season before), tonight I really felt it meant a lot more for the Burnley fans than it did for us. I guess it would considering their stature and lack of recent semi-finals. Our fans were a little casual tonight, along with the players. Thankfully just for the opening 45. I guess the Premiership is priority for all at the minute. January rescue package should see to that.

Anyways, slightly stronger team and more focused performance, and we could have overwhelmed them tonight. Instead, the team did its usual best to worry us silly.

Not good enough at the minute to even consider beating Utd in the final.

Team News

Not sure why I keep thinking Ronaldo is unavailable for Saturday. He'll play regardless of the alleged injury. The mind-games have began in earnest with Fergie initially announcing that Berbatov and Carrick are doubtful and face late fitness tests, but then suggesting Berba will definitely be available. Shocker to know. Don't know why managers bother with all this 'he might be injured' sillyness.

We've done the same thing with doubts cast over Modric and (I think) Pav. And of course King. I'm really into my research at the minute.

As for Gareth Bale? One hopes he gets stuck in traffic.

Do not deny the facts

He didn't play. We won.

End of.

Challenge Spurs™ - The Bale jinx must Go-mes

Challenge Spurs™ Series

Game 05 v (A) Fulham
2-1 Loss, 0 points
Total points: 12
Position: 19th
1 point from safety

I'm glad Harry Redknapp is still talking publicly about a 'relegation battle' as a reminder is needed for the players who decided to believe their own hype and take their eyes off the ball momentarily (figure of speech) to see us lose at Fulham. Yes, it was sort of expected that we would drop all 3 points there because traditionally that's exactly what happens, but I'm still disappointed that we didn't buck the trend a little. A draw and a few wins doesn't mean we are suddenly up and running because its fine giving it some against the likes of Arsenal and Liverpool, but its the bread and butter of the teams around us that need to be polished off with more intent and effort than Saturdays mediocre outing.



Bale played, we lost. Again. Poor lad needs to make an appearance when we are 3-0 up with 1 minute to go. Gomes, with yet another match-losing howler. Words escape me for the hilarity of the situation. A £9M legacy from the exceptional Comolli that will continue to haunt. Is Cesar not an option? This same scenario is reminiscent of the Paul Robinson saga which saw us keep the faith with him until no confidence or ability was left in him to do the basics right.

Drop him. Let him retain some kind of integrity as he re-builds his composure. Unless of course, what we see is what he does week in week out. Which in that case, let's just hope he doesn't cost us too many points before the Jan window re-opens. Arguably, on the flip side, he produced some amazing saves. Conundrum is our Gomes. As for Bale. Shocking again.

And the rest? Apart from maybe Modric (who left the field of play with an injury) the rest were average, making Fulham look far better than they actually are.

Onwards and upwards please.

DROP GARETH BALE

13 Prem appearances. 0 wins.

Bale is all smiles - but it's no laughing matter

He is jinxed. I beg the club to drop him from the side to end the curse. He's the anti-victory, personified.

Management need to drop Gareth to help Bale us out of the bottom three, and thus embrace three valuable points.

The stats do not lie.


Drop Bale to Win!

Bale out for the season

Now the signing of 'old man' Gilberto makes sense. Please no more Chimbonda covering the left-back position. Yes, he looks stable there when called upon, but at times his indecisiveness is far too heart-in-the-mouth-of-Autoba.

Good luck with the recovery Gareth. Looks like the Hutton-King-Woodgate-Bale back four will have to wait a little longer.

One man down, one still MIA.

Bale Signs

Shock horror. We've bought Bale. No other club made a last minute attempted hijack. Could argue no one else wanted to potentially mug themselves off with spunking £10M for a 17 year old. Sources are now suggesting £5M upfront, with £5M in future payments spread over the next few years and dependent on the success of the club in European competitions.

Spurs are also linked to Nani (though my guess is that this is agent induced gossip to force other clubs to bid for the 20 year old 'the next Ronaldo'). And Nigel Reo-Coker along with Bent (which seems to be the tabloids other fav piece of whorage in recent weeks). And the summer has yet to begin.

Back to Bale. Do I politely applaud Levy for this one? TBH I don't find myself as excited with this signing as I was when we purchased Andrew Reid from Nottm Forest. I have however changed my opinion on the 17 year old having read the comments of other fans (WHU, Arsenal, Utd etc) and that they claim we have signed a wonderfully gifted player. Hypocrite I hear you spit out while you read this. Not quite, and maybe its the medication thats making me momentarily delirious, but maybe the signing of this player isn't a bad deal after all.

The Missing Link

I haven't seen Bale play, unless you count the Youtube footage of his freekicks. Gareth's large pointy-out ears give him the uncanny ability of using them as radars to place them into the back of the net. The ball, not his ears. That would be a touch surreal.

I can't believe that players are bought on performances in the Championship.......considering we forked out a few million for Raziak who was storming the second tier of English football yet utterly out of his element in the Prem.

Still re: Bale and his freekicks; not quite the same impact of a jinxing run down the wing by the Reidmiester. But still impressive enough for me to give him the benefit of the doubt. As for Levy - do not make the mistake of taking this as an endorsement of support from me. Players want to join a massive club like Spurs, regardless of the chairman. I was quick to be critical of Bale simply because Levy has a track record of disappointing us and spending £8M on Jenas is enough for anyone to question the club's sense in the transfer market.

Will Gareth bale out?

I would have liked to say I have photographic evidence of Gareth Bale arriving at The Lodge for his Spurs medical. I would have liked to say I caught a glimpse of his agent laughing into his mobile and stating how its a done deal. However, I got nowhere to being in a position of comfort.

Now, I know that I have stated already in this blog that I will report on all ITK transfer rumours, but people who know me, know that I do not have much time for all this type of nonsense. If a player is set to join a club, knowing about it 24 hours / one week / two weeks before it happens amounts to nothing. If the deal is going to happen, its going to happen - makes no difference. And I've found in the past all it serves to do is embarrass Levy and the general incompetence in the transfer market (Rivaldo, anyone?). But still, it serves a purpose to illustrate the goings-on at the club.

I'm also suspicious that Man Utd haven't done anything in the way of bidding for Bale this time round. It cant be because they have spunked all their money on Hargreaves. Perhaps its because they have just enough left to buy Berbatov. So they wont bid for Bale so that they wont fall out with Levy, making it easier for them to sign Berbatov with the dollars they have left. If Bale signs, then say goodbye to Berbatov.....says the conspiracy theorist in me.

But lets place the Berbs speculation aside for a moment and go back to my visit at the Lodge today. As stated, I got nowhere near to seeing anything, mainly due to one individual. Someone I thought would be harmless and in fact believed could be a future ally. Instead he has proven to be a nemesis. I'm talking about Ben. The man up the tree.

Kinda ironic that his name is Ben because it was like an episode of Lost. And I was John Locke. Trying to get to the hatch (in this case a tree) and finding myself avoiding various traps designed to stop me (I'm still removing the pins from my arse, though technically speaking that never happened to Locke). The only advantage point is that fucking tree and getting to it is proving harder than Hurley losing weight on an Island that has no supply of junk food. Which should be easy - but its not, which is why this is causing me so much grief.

The pins were one thing, the bee hive - that was pure evil. I'll tell you this much, Ben should be watching his back from this point onwards. I need information, not for the purpose of ego and telling people news that they will find out eventually anyway. I need it so that I can use it against Levy. My chronicle far outweighs his. Anyway, I came home to find the following posted on various Spurs forums - via Ben:

Out for most of day quick update

all will be tied up today ie bale....they got him last night from cardiff and briningigng him down this morning .southampton were peed of the news broke to sky ect...hence a delay....his medical will be this afternoon and hoping to announce this evening...but there will be no problems now unless he fails his medical

kalaboul as drgaon said will be announced monday but thats all done and dusted...


bent is player 3 we will get it done im sure in the next week or so there confident...


also dont rule big crouch out or even pedersen

All this from a fucking tree!!! I want its secrets. He doesn't own it, and if he does I demand to see the deeds. I did manage to catch a glimpse of the player arriving at Holly House which is a private hospital in Buckhurst Hill which the club use. No trees, but several bushes, one of which was my home for a couple of hours. Bale, was walking and looked fine, but I was unable to read enough from his body language and general self-being to know what his was thinking. He wasn't skipping too and from the hospital. But at the same time, he wasn't kicking a can along the ground despondently. My guesstimate would be is that he might sign. I'm not the only one that has come to this conclusion.

Sources close to the family say its a done deal. Agent fees and bits of the contract are left before final signature is penned on paper.

With Kaboul set to sign, its potentially a 'good week' for the club. Scoff. Had you going again. Let's wait and see if Bale does sign on the dotted line. We can then look forward to the open-bus parade.

Bale Medical

Apparently, we are in for Bale. Story appeared on Sky Sports News, which was followed by a quick rejection by Southampton claiming they had not accepted any bid from Spurs. Soon after, sources close to Bale revealed (via the BBC) that a medical will take place today and that Bale will sign this week.

Disregarding what the press say the offer will be structured like so (I read this on an Internet Message board):

£6M up-front
£3M (£1M per year over the next three years)
£2M if we get into the Champions League


Shrewd Daniel. Southampton will never see the £2M. Which means we get the seventeen year old for £9M. So, that’s a left-back who has never played in the Prem before who isn't as good at defending as he is attacking...for £9M. Though rumour has it, he will play left-wing rather than left-back which means we need to buy another left-back and placing all hopes on a 17 year old left-winger who hasn't played top class football before is shocking.

So we have another glam signing to appease the fans who beg for the sexy rather than the efficient (not that Bale is sexy in any way - but he is class on Football Manager 2007 and Man Utd were linked to him). So, it makes us look like we are getting one over the 'top 4' by signing him. Another political move by Levy.

I'm making my way to the Lodge now to see if I can catch a glimpse of Bale arriving for the medical.

Summer Transfer Targets

Younes Kaboul signed, allegedly. Sources suggest this is potentially a disaster move for the club:

Kaboul is not very good at all, definitely not 7.5 million worth......sure these may have been two off days, but from i saw, he is not quick, he has a kind of lazy, heavy way of getting around the pitch, a bit like Carrick.....not brave, he makes 80% efforts to win the ball, not like john terry who smashes into opponents and still cleanly wins the ball.......very easily tricked and put to the floor by quick forwards on at least 5 occasions.....and he seems to switch off and lose his opponent, like Bramble seems to do

he looks no better than Tony Gardner..............i really cannot see why Commoli and Jol rate him enough to buy him unless they see him as a defensive midfielder....like i said, he moves around like carrick, is a neat passer, and maybe Jol wants him to get the ball and pass it on simply, which Carrick did but of course Carrick had much more ability

but i would worry if he is for the defence, even as cover for Ledley............the kid will need lots of time and patience, but i fear with this huge price tag, his confidence will be rocked if he doesnt perform well immediately..........and 7.5 million is a waste of the clubs money, he is 2.5/3miilion max, even in todays crazy fees.....it smacks of the 8 million we spent on Dean Richards, and Kaboul is no better than Richards

Fantastic scouting then. £7.5M well spent.

Gareth Bale is apparently 'back on' because Utd have cooled their interest. So, thats potentially £10M for a teenager that can't defend but scores free-kicks so he must be good then. As for Darren Bent, he scored goals - a lot of goals - playing for a poor team that got relegated so although he isn't world class he is still a good player. But how does a good player fit into a squad that already has Berbatov, Keane and Defoe? Which means, Defoe may finally be on the way out.

As for the left-wing problem, Morten Gamst Pedersen is once more linked. A player who can cross and score from the wing. Thankfully the one dimensional Downing isn't being linked at this present moment in time. But there's months to go before the window closes, so lets not get too excited yet.


So, the current tabloid and message board list consists of:

• Younes Kaboul
• Gareth Bale
• Morten Gamst Pedersen
• Darren Bent

I have not seen any activity at the Lodge or the Lane, though I cannot be at two places at once, I'm keeping an eye on what Ben (FTL) has to say from his tree. It's probably a little early in the post-season for any deals to go through. Too many players booking flights to the sun.

Soton youngster Bale: Spurs bound?

It's imperative that we buy completed article players. Which counts out Bale, but then if you believe Levy we buy young British players with sell-on potential, meaning if you do the math, Bale (if bought for £10M) would have to be sold for £15M-£20M in the future. Does he strike you as a potential £20M player? If he is one for the future, what about the present? We still need to cover ourselves with a top draw player in the left back position. Have to.

Which brings me to my point. Would the above mentioned players make us better than Arsenal or Liverpool, when both clubs are likely to buy Ribery and Tevez respectively. All four respective transfer targets are just bland. And signing them all would cost, how much? £40M? That's fourty-million quid on players who might not even make it into the first team. How is that progression? We make far too many signings of players that are ok rather than superb. For every Berbatov there's a Lee, Tainio, Assou-Ekotto, Stalteri etc. And 'ok' is pushing it a little for some of them.

With Berbs and Zokora being the 'big signings' of last season with regards to the structure of the team, we don't need to worry about these positions. We just need to sort out the weak spots. So, please no more central midfielders. We have Huddlestone and we have Taarabt. They need to play a part. Seems that Jenas has pictures of Jol in a gimp suit, so he will play a part in next seasons campaign. Steed will play more of a role from the start of the season rather than appearing in spurts due to his initial injury.

So, at this point in time, I am uncertain about who we should be looking at. Possibly Baines (who does have Premiership experience) to play in the left-back role. There must be a left-winger of world class status out there that wouldn't mind joining a London club. Or maybe there isnt, which would explain the fact that we end up with the Lees, Tainios, Assou-Ekottos and Stalteris of this world.

One thing I will say, please for fucks sake, stop with these inane links to players that we could never sign (Robben) who, for the record is always injured and we could never sign. And the likes of Harry Kewell. Yes, Kewell. Who some Spurs fans seem to be blind to the fact that he isn't the Leeds Utd youngster of 6 years ago. He's, well basically, shit. One game this season and some of our fans are suggesting he should be a target. This is the type of Spurs fan that Levy's reign is breeding. Accepting third-rate as an option. This summer, Big Brother is likely to give me more pleasure than Comolli's European travels.