Thursday, 7 February 2008

Le temps détruit tout

Have you ever seen Irréversible? There’s a quite brutal scene in the movie, uncomfortable as anything you're likely to see, where Monica Bellucci is anally raped. Then punched in the face and stomach repeatedly. That’s basically what the English Premier League is planning on doing to our beautiful game. So, stick that black armband on and close your eyes for a moment of thoughts and prayers. A minutes silence please. I don't want to hear a sound.

All 20 clubs have agreed to explore the proposal.

- Season extended by 39 games
- 10 extra games played
- The extra games will be played at venues all around the world
- Cities to bid for the rights to stage them
- Points will count towards the final league table
- The additional fixtures will be (possibly) determined by a draw (with the top 5 seeded)

What a farce.

We have gone from a game that belonged to the working class to a fucking shambolic family game that is better suited for the Disney Channel. We can’t stand at games without being threatened with losing our season ticket. We can’t swear at games without getting looks from stewards. Its a police state with £5 burgers for treats.

New stadiums resemble lifeless stadia better suited for mundane games of American Football, where people are more interested in hot dogs and cheerleaders.

Modern day football is heading towards an abyss of commercialism, more interested in serving up ribs and chips at half-time in executive boxes. The new prototype doesn’t want to be part of a tribe. Doesn’t want the adrenaline-rushed high and lows of supporting a club, no matter the league position, win draw or loss. The new prototype wants to be entertained. Brace yourselves, because you – the average true fan – is no longer important.

Expect this to go the way of Hollywood. Football players striking because they are not earning a percentage of the money earned by associations the world over. Its going to get bloated, like an over-budgeted blockbuster movie with big name stars in the leading roles, appealing to the easily pleased masses.

I don’t buy this crap about catering for the widest possible audience to help raise the profile of the game. Everyone who fucking matters already knows about football and the Prem League. The clubs are rich enough when they can spunk money on average talent and over-charge fans for season tickets. If a player can earn up to £60k a week today, what in 2011 when this fucking train wreck comes into effect?

“Some fans may feel aggrieved, but their concerns will be outweighed by the financial advantages for the clubs”

There. Right there. Fucking moneyshot in the eye. It’s all about the $$$$ and nothing else. Football has long sold out, but we could live with the executive boxes and a quiet Emirates Stadium. I’m an old romantic. I believe that the clubs – the club you support – is not the ground the pitch is on, or the name or the players. It’s the fans. Without the fans, the club would not exist. When the club up and moves location or players and managers move on, the fans are still there. The dawning of a new age will see us become redundant, unnecessary. A throw-back to the ‘poor old days’ of football. Your money won’t be missed, because there’s this cunt who can afford to bring 10 cunt’s to a game so they can sit in a box and eat sea bass.

There’s nothing in place, nothing to regulate this type of (de)evolution. FIFA? LOL. People will argue that if the Premier League wants to stay ahead of the other top continental leagues, then this will guarantee them the exposure and financial clout to keep Spain and Italy in the shade when attracting the very best players in Europe and the world. It’s a fucking move too far.

If this happens, I can’t wait to see who travels to Dubai or New York to see their team. Sounds a bit sexy that, doesn’t it? Fucking scab is what you are if you’re thinking about making a trip.

This is not the NFL. And providing the chance for foreign fans to enjoy a slice of Premiership action ‘live’ in their own backyard will only lead onto more drastic bastardisation of the game. One extra game is one game too many.

That's us in the pedestrian underpass. Fucked into a coma.

Time destroys all things.


oops said...

Arsenal v Boro in Iraq please.

Stargaze said...

Why is everyone ranting about this? It was always going to happen. Football is evolving in the only way this sport was ever going to evolve and that's by sucking all the money out of everything around it.

Anonymous said...

I usually agree and enjoy your blog entries, but this one was truely awful. Stop living in the 1950's and understand that football has moved on.

shelf side warrior said...

Only Spooky can use Irreversible as a football analogy. The freak ;)

Couldnt agree more with the blog. Yet somehow I can see myself living with it and dealing with it if it happens. Which it will.

left on the shelf said...

The Premier League was set up for this exact purpose, that to make money - as much of it as possible. Is nobody old enough to remember the Football League opposing the Premiership?

They broke away regardless of the unrest. Fact is as hard as it is to swallow, the Premier League is a breakaway league and in its continuing its growth outwards and upwards.

shanemac said...

check it out, he's baseball's version of you, spooky.

west stand bagel said...

Brainless idea based on money. I dont care for this. If they turned around and stated that 70% of the case went to the lower tier clubs then support would be far greater, but the Prem League is a seperate entity so all the money being made will go into the back pockets. Its a horrid mess of a concept. Jet lag, fixtures that might change a teams position from relegation to survival, all played out like some circus infront of 'fans' who won't care for the result.


Hugo said...

I enjoy your articles, Spooky. Just one thing I wanted to pick up on:

"Its going to get bloated, like an over-budgeted blockbuster movie with big name stars in the leading roles, appealing to the easily pleased masses."

You can't parade yourself as a working class warrior one moment and then have a go at mass-produced cinema the next. The working classes are the masses and much as it pains me to say it, Hollywood is successful only because it's popular.

Still, nice to know that you like high-brow French cinema.

oracle said...

I noticed that. I think its a Easter Egg. Spookys letters were always full of cryptic contridictions. Speaking of which...I havent seen a letter for a while Spooks. Must be something to complain about to the chairman of the board?

spooky said...

One on its way. Hopefully this week.