We're all going on a mid-table tour...

Seven games left. We are now deep into the business end of the season. Alas squeaky bum time is not part of our agenda. There is still however a possibility of a European push to add some extra spark to the fixture list, but looking at the games ahead and then looking back at the miserable start to the season and the various hiccups and mis-guided moments of alleged clarity (we're going down, we're going down) we've had along the way, it's safe to say...thank God we are safe. And we are safe. We are right? Of course we are. Couple more points here and there should see us finish top half. I'm looking forward to the nosebleed. As for Europe...it's akin to an injection of botox to a thirty-year old face. Completely unnecessary.

But still, plenty of potential shenanigans left in the season (West Ham at home, relegating Newcastle, City and Utd, Everton away....etc) so no need to throw your season ticket towards the directors box just yet. 630 minutes of Tottenham left to go.

Regardless of all this, it still won't stop some people from thinking about the summer months that lay ahead of us.

Which means having to brace yourselves for plenty of Lennon and Modric transfer stories, even though one has signed a contract extension and the other only signed for us last summer. And after the Berbatov and Keane epics, you'd hope our chairman doesn't allow for the usual gut-wrenching acceptance of departure of key players. Expect Liverpool to be linked to our little Aaron anyway. And Levy - JUST SAY NO. The Tottenham Foundation is rich enough from donations, thank you very much.

Also brace yourselves for all the ITK and club insiders, that will surely be crawling out of the woodwork soon to tell us about potentially someone being signed but it's only 87% done so might or might not happen yet. I said I'd ignore them so that I could avoid another shitstorm like the one that took place during the last window. Remember the jihad directed my way? Happy days.

What might or might not happen with David Bentley is something that will also take up plenty of tabloid space between now and the summer and through out June and July. Did Harry whisper the other day that we are not going to sell any of our star players? Guess that means David has already cleared out his locker and is hitch-hiking his way back up North. Personally, I don't think he should go but as I've discussed a few times already this season - where can he play if he can't play right-wing? Can't see Lennon being dropped any time soon. Unless his form dips or he gets injured. If David is having personal problems, then fair enough, let him be. Let him sort himself out. When you set yourself such a high standard, it can sometimes be a struggle to reach it consistently. Those star-jumps were ace, and we've not seen the likes of them since.

But this is something we can all revisit in a couple of months. For now, I'd much prefer to enjoy what we have left of the season and hope the players strive for improvement rather than have one eye on how they plan to spend the summer months. We need to remain competitive at all times. Even when we are mathematically safe. None of this oh so typical switching off lark we experienced ponderously after last years Cup final and all the way to the death of the season and into the beginning of this season.

Palacios will be suspended for Saturday, which is a great shame. But a test to the depth of the squad, as we fall back onto the past. Yes, it's flux capacitor time with Zokora and Jenas pairing up in the middle. If West Ham win this, then expect a week long party in Green Street. If we lose, then I can imagine a vast majority of Spurs fans burning their season tickets and claiming celibacy from football forever. Such is the magnitude of this encounter.

Naaaaa, just fucking with you. West Ham fans might see this as a game of importance as they aim to surge ahead of some truly God awful sides below them to stake a claim for 7th spot, in a season where being average is enough to claim a ticket to Europe. And I don't blame them. They've had plenty of their own turmoil and quietly, in the midst of everything happening down at the bottom and right at the top, Zola and Clarke have got them ticking over fairly well in the middle section of the table. They've done enough to get them into a position that might event warrant the words 'successful season'.

I just want us to dick 'em cause it's fun, innit? Also because I'm still haunted by that 4-1 Easter defeat several years back. Put me right off my Creme Eggs.

Apologies for the textbook 'Spurs fans don't care about lickle West Ham as much as they care about us but by stating this it must mean that I do care otherwise I wouldn't bang on about it' preview of the Easter weekend game. I guess it's all down to one particular fan who sends me never ending texts that are meant to pass for 'banter' but appear to be of a more stalkerish nature in tone. Early in the season I was told it was 'do or die' at Upton Park for the both of us. And to think they call Spurs fans drama queens. I'm now being told this return fixture is a Cup final for European qualification. Some Cup final when we've gone from being almost season long relegation fodder to within a whisker of European qualification.

Best league in the world, innit? While West Ham have been picking up points and improving steadily, we've spent most of it being shit and yet we're what...4 or 5 points adrift of them? Shame we didn't beat Rovers. That would actually have made Saturday a potentially hilarious and ironic turnaround to our season and a rather fitting illustration of just how gash everyone below 6th is.

So step up, Didier Zokora and JJ. Dominate and boss the midfield with urgency, composure and menace. Let's brush the claret and blue aside and reveal in the glory bestowed upon the winners of a ding-dong derby match!






Jesus Christ, we're fucking doomed.