Friday, 10 October 2008

2010: A Spurs Odyssey

Dear Mr Levy,

You truly are a God amongst men. I have shivers running down my spine. Such is the positivity, from fans and the media.

Edgar Davids, the Dutch midfield legend, in the Lilywhite shirt.
Jermain Defoe, England’s most promising, prolific young striker.
Ledley King, one of England’s strongest, quickest and most reliable centre backs. All the top top clubs are after him.
Michael Carrick, a midfielder who will compete within the England backbone for years to come.
Top internationals in all positions and players with Champions League experience.
England’s number one, on a 7 year contract.
The nucleus of the England U19/U23 team.
Competition for every position from established stars and young internationals.
Pundits treating us with respect and quoting us as genuine would-be contenders to the Top 4.
A realistic destination for top players. Players – experienced or promising talents – want to join us.
We have ridden the crisis of our Sporting Director defecting to Chelsea. The impact of his departure is almost as if it didn’t happen.
Martin Jol. Legend. A man who turned down his dream job in his native country due to the passion for the job at WHL.
And you, Mr Levy. A chairman who acts with courage and dignity and has the overwhelming support of the fans.

And if that wasn’t all, over at Arsenal, things are looking grim.

They’ve lost their talismanic captain.
Their key transfer target has snubbed them for a bigger club in Spain.
Key remaining players are in contract disputes.
They have yet another player with a prison sentence hanging over him.
They have abandoned their famous shirt for the new season.
And they are soon to be moving from Highbury to an even more soul-less library.

This is a good time to be a Tottenham fan. We are not building a squad. We are building a dynasty. The future is bright, the future is white.

That was July 2005.

Let’s jump ahead to October 2008.

We have no defensive midfielder.
We lack firepower and understanding upfront, hoofing the ball to the forwards.
Ledley king is crocked and hardly plays.
Carrick is at United. We do have Jenas and Zokora though.
We still have internationals. Like Tom Huddlestone.
We’ve replaced England’s number one with the Brazilian version.
The nucleus of the England U19/U23 isn’t relevant if the Spurs 'kids' never make it into the first team.
Little competition exists, due to us selling players and not replacing them. The competition then turn up in Sunderland shirts and beat us.
Pundits, who did predict success for us, have swept that under the carpet, and prefer to point and laugh. No respect is forthcoming.
We are a realistic destination for panic buys.
We have a DoF system that doesn’t work and is proving to be the catalyst for disaster.
Juande Ramos. Spanish, and unable to speak English, 100% of the time. Looks detached from the on-field mess.
And you, Mr Levy. A chairman obsessed with profit margins and business rather than football progression. What happened to speculate to accumulate?

And if that wasn’t all, over at Arsenal, things are looking more than decent.

They have Theo Walcott.
They have bought the new Zidane.
Key players (Adebayor) have settled their differences and remained at the club.
They have several young super-kids making the grade, and looking great for the future.
They play with pride and passion in their red and white shirts.
The Emirates is still a Library, but they are never short of a good read.

This is not a good time to be a Tottenham fan. We have a decimated squad. Dynasty? This is more like The Colbys. An utter utter shambles. The future is bleak, the future is chocolate brown.

Let’s skip ahead to March 2010.

We have finally have a defensive midfielder. Didier Zokora. He is kicking lumps out of the opposition.
The re-signed Raziak is knocking the goals in for fun with the prolific Kevin Doyle by his side.
Captain Dawson leads us from the back.
No one misses Jermaine Jenas, who signed for West Ham United and is now an England regular (keeping Lampard out of the team). Who needs him with Marney and Reid back in our midfield and the work ethic of Nigel Quashie?
Huddlestone marshals the midfield, dominating the Opta Stats.
Alnwick is a legend in goal.
We don’t have the nucleus of the England U19/U23 teams, but we do have some great discounted bagels in the West Stand
We have a ton of competition thanks mainly to our new transfer policy (Robbie Savage on a free).
Pundits have us down as genuine title winning contenders.
No DoF. Just Terry Venables as our Sporting Director.
And ex-Intertoto Spurs legend, Alan Pardew as coach.
And Steve Nash. A chairman who is leading us clear of the opposition. Eighteen points clear, and well on course to claiming the Football League Coca-Cola Championship.
Champions. Title winners. Open bus parade. Updated version of the Opus on the cards. The cockerel is strutting and crowing.

WE’VE GOT OUR TOTTENHAM BACK!

And now back to the present day, October 2008.

I wonder what the future holds Daniel? I hope your legacy - your five year plan - works out just fine.


Regards,
Spooky

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Brilliant!

:(

Anonymous said...

Champions of the championship? I'll take that.Last time we won it, we wont the 1st division the season after.

Anonymous said...

Alan Pardew? Jesus Christ...