Today will be madness

If you take a quick look around the message boards and Sports pages you'll find the following gathering pace:

Keane coming back
Lennon to Liverpool
Bent leaving
Quaresma on loan
Jenas to Inter

Bringing Robbie back is embarrassing. We are bailing out Liverpool and the player himself. If we lose Lennon as part of the deal I'll be absolutely livid with the club. There is no guarantee that Keane will be the same player he was without Berbatov by his side and let's face it. He must be a little bit damaged by the experience. Boyhood dream in tatters. I'd rather take the risk in whether Lennon will develop into a player with end product than wonder if Keane will be able to reclaim his past Spurs form. Aaron is also much younger than Robbie.

Bent leaving is a strange one. We love to hate Darren. Sometimes, he appears to do nothing in a game. But he does score. He's a bit fragile, so maybe not the right type of player mind-set we need at the moment. I'd still rather hold onto him for now. You know. In case of another injury.

Quaresma is also a strange one. Talented with plenty of unfulfilled potential. Never settled in one place. Is he built for a relegation dogfight? How long will he take to bed in? And if you want to believe that Jose wants Jenas in exchange as part of a loan deal, then this transfer window has officially been tagged as loopy. Apparently, according to Jose, Ibrahimovic is more of a team player than Quaresma. Ouch.

What concerns me is that we haven't looked to actually fill the gaps. I guess apart from the left-wing position, if the Inter lad signs.

"We need strength, big players" - We buy lickle Jermaine. Who was carrying a knock and might now have a broken foot.

"We need people who want to play for this club and know what it means to put on the shirt" - We re-sign Chimbonda. Good olde loyal Shimbomba.

"We need a holding midfielder" - We sign Palacios. Who has 'everything in a midfielder I want' but isn't technically speaking a holding midfielder. Add to the mix, Zokora who Harry wants to continue playing which would then mean that we plan to continue lining up with a 5-man midfield. And if that's the case......do we need to keep spunking so much on forwards?

I'm frustrated. As much as you are, I'm sure.

Arshavin has apparently flown back home today having arrived in London yesterday. Not that Levy would dare place a cheeky bid for him after the summer fiasco with Zenit. Did Arsenal ever stand a chance in signing him? Considering how tight they are and how money obsessed Zenit are.

As I type this apparently Liverpool want Saviola and Spurs are interested also.....but Spurs are willing to back off if the Anfield club give us Robbie. These type of transfer bluffs seem to be happening with alarming occurrence.

I've stuck some popcorn in the microwave. Snowed in. Sky Sports ticker day for me.

Raficulous

Rafa Benetiz is angry. Apparently Harry Redknapp and Spurs are tapping up Robbie Keane. Tell you what Rafa, how about we return the 'donation' your club made to the Tottenham Hotspur Foundation and we'll take back the player and you can quietly admit to yourself that you haven't got a clue what it is you're doing at the moment.

(Arguably, neither do we.....)

It's now a trend that no manager is permitted to make any positive comment about a player who doesn't play for their club as this now constitutes 'tapping up'. I know Harry is a bit norty at times, but directly answering a question from a journalist about a player isn't exactly underhanded tactics is it? If we wanted to tap him up, we'd get Jamie Redknapp to make a massive phone call to Robbie and invite him round for some Mario Kart action and tell him that Spurs will have him back, embarrassing boyhood dream blotch included.

What Liverpool did in the summer WAS underhanded, which is why we got our little donation to the charity. What Liverpool are doing now is probably their way of making it look like Robbie Keane has been unsettled so that it's easier on them when they let him go. It's all Tottenham's fault, innit?

News in this evening that Defoe is out for several games (probably 3 weeks) even though the initial rumours suggested he had broken his foot and was out for the rest of the season. I've had 6 text messages already from suicidal Spurs fans. Still waiting on the official word, but I don't expect Spurs to say much until after Mondays transfer deadline. The more desperate we are to bring in a player, the more an opposing club will demand we pay. Keane or otherwise.

Tomorrow is another day

Appiah. Still no word. He played in a 4-4 reserve game yesterday (and played well according to reports) and was today meant to be meeting with Harry to receive the decision on whether we plan on offering him a contract. Either we still haven't made up our mind, or we have but we are not too keen on the money he wants paid for his services. Maybe by the weekend.

Talking of defensive midfielders...

Veloso is a player we were linked with in the summer and has been linked to both Utd and Arsenal, with a hefty £20M price tag for his signature. As you've probably been following, Bolton are interested. £12M is being quoted.

I asked a couple of fanatical Portuguese football fans about the player. They both gave me this look of......well actually, it was more of a shrug than a look. A shrug that simply said, 'Veloso? Meh'.

The problem with this guy (according to them) is he thinks he's the bollocks. Has a massive Beckham complex and simply isn't half as good as he thinks he is, and if he applied himself to football with 100% commitment he'd fulfil his potential. It was almost like they didn't rate him that much because of his attitude and arrogance and cited other players at Lisbon who are better. It would appear he frustrates supporters. But that's not to say he lacks quality. He has it in abundance. But quality alone isn't always enough.

I think if he joins Bolton he will probably stand out in a big way regardless (no disrespect to his team mates) and thus do no harm to his shop window value.

At Spurs, he would be one of those superfluous type of players we like collecting. Don't think he is right for us (one or two of our fans are asking why we are not interested) and the fact its Bolton and now Newcastle courting him, suggests that others are aware he has a lot to prove to warrant a big move to a big big club. If he comes to England, he'll probably end up in Spain or Italy a year or two from now. Does appear the player himself wants to stay in Lisbon, so maybe this is nothing more than an agent exercise to bag a new contract.

Elsewhere, SSN will be running an interview tomorrow with the legend that is Damien Comolli. Apparently he admits he didn't leave Spurs in a sorry state. This I got to see.

Robbie Keane. We've inquired about him. So basically we go from chasing a 'perfect foil type player' like Jones at Sunderland (tall and good in the air) for Defoe and then taking an alleged glance at Santa Cruz, to then asking Liverpool if Keane is available. Short Robbie Keane.

Pav, Defoe, Keane, Bent.

Hmm. For the sake of sakeness, let's pretend we get rid of Darren Bent.....who's our first choice partnership? Pav will play upfront which means Defoe and Keane will take turns. Can you see either of them being happy with that? I still refuse to accept suggestions that JD and RK can play up front together. Where is the logic in this signing? We need another striker but surely he has to compliment what we have already. So maybe Harry does intend to mix it up when it comes to who partners Pav.

I will also go mental (i.e. boycott the Spurs shop and protest nude in the South Stand) if Spurs consider giving Liverpool anyone in exchange. Keane mugged himself off leaving us to go up there. Rafa doesn't know how to use him effectively. IMO, the Anfield club should accept they f*cked up and see it as a very expensive and unsuccessful experimental loan. But I can't quite work out - selection headaches aside - if taking him back is the right thing to do. Lennon MUST STAY at Spurs.

Maybe while we are at it we can re-sign Ghaly.

Close that (transfer) window....it's giving me a chill

The sooner this month of January is finished the better. Deciphering the tabloids (and broadsheets) logic when it comes to transfers is beginning to bore me. The truth is out there. It’s just buried under heaps of rubbish.

Whether it’s swapping Luka Mordic (22 years of age) for a defender in his mid-thirties or giving Aaron Lennon to Liverpool to allow for the return of Robbie Keane (along with writing off the debt owed to us from the Anfield club even though we’ve already re-signed Defoe who could never really play upfront with Keane anyhow)….it’s borderline fantasist paradise. 1 + 1 = 3.

Bale and Gio are surplus to requirements if you believe some quarters, suggesting that Spurs want to replace youth with experience. Which means in a few years we’d have to re-look at bringing in young players again for the future. The formula here is, if a player is young and is either not in form/just come back from injury/not playing on a regular basis – then he is not good enough, and thus will be sold. Therefore, link him to a move away every other week. There's always a chance it might actually happen, and if you've linked him to 5 different clubs, you're in with a chance to stamp one of those exclusive 'we broke the story' articles, basking in the glory that your information was sound, even though you made it up.

Agent talk? Guess work? Bit of both? You’ll find rumours and transfer scenarios of equal quality on any given message board. It’s a mess of a month.

Is the Lennon story simply Liverpool/Rafa testing the waters to see if we are stupid enough to lose a young lad with the world at his feet for a 29 year old who decided that the prospect of playing Champions League football was enough to write-off 6 years and leave the only true footballing home he had? Or is there credence in the story that Aaron wants to leave the club and move back up Northish? If Appiah is signed by us, then what happens to someone like Jenas? Palacios, Modric, Zokora, Appiah, Jenas, Huddlestone…that’s quite a selection headache. Although we’d be two short next year when the African Nations Cup is held, so depth is required which would mean selling players isn't. Still, anyone can see that one of these players will potentially fall victim to a Harry midfield cull because you can't keep 'em all happy. So, as Jenas is high profile, it makes sense to flog his name around as the player who will be sold on. Jose had him in his fantasy football team, so that surely means Inter will be after his signature. Can we have Adriano in exchange please? We need about eight strikers to climb away from the bottom three.

Darren Bents name crops up everywhere. Apparently, with Michael Owen injured, Newcastle are looking at Darren as the man to save them from the drop. Nobody has said this other than someone who wrote up an article with no quotes or suggestions of truth. So naturally, this would involve N’Zogbia/Viduka coming to Spurs as part of the deal. Naturally. Maybe Owen faked his injury and is currently having a medical for Chelsea who are also signing Robinho for a cut-price £7M. Obviously.

In the past month or so, that hasn’t been a single eventuality that hasn’t been discussed in print or on SSN.

I don’t mind transfer gossip. As long as it’s within the realms of logistic reality. Digging through to find that 5% which is sprinkled with a little logic is no longer fun.

What is even worse is the alleged 'In the Know' people who claim to be connected in some way to the club or know people who work at Tottenham, and then pass on info in forums and message boards using a cryptic style that actually protects them if they happen to be wrong with their information. It's like an art-form. But it's nothing more than a parody of what's printed in the press. Fact is there are X amount of teams and X amount of players and it's not rocket science to sometimes take that 1 and take an other 1 and add them together to get a 2. And when one of these ITK characters gets it right, it's almost like he's done something akin to predicting the lottery numbers, with fans worshipping his oracle-like awareness of events before they happen.

Well thanks for letting us know something five minutes before we officially know it through the official site. Knowing it for those five extra minutes makes it so more satisfying.

Just a few days left now. And then we'll be back to reading Rafa rants and Wengerisims, Harry drafting his wife into the first team and Ronaldo linked with Madrid (that one is with us all year round).

3 days and counting...

Monday Transfer Round-Up

Carlo Cudicini.

Free transfer. Unlikely he's moved from Chelseas's sub bench to sit on ours. Which means expect to see him play as our number one, whilst Gomes recovers from his slight injury concern, which means it will be up to the Brazilian to reclaim his place in the team. Competition for the keepers jersey. When was the last time that happened?


Chimbonda.

Ideal signing for the predicament we find ourselves in. Can hit the ground running, cover 3 different positions (yes, I know he ain't too hot at left-back) and ease defensive selection problems.

Personally, hate the fact that we've had to go back for him as I dislike the man and his lack of principles. But beggars can't be choosers. We are in a mess, so much so, that we've had to re-sign a player we sold 6 months ago, proving the point that he shouldn't have been sold in the first place. Even if he was a bit of a mercenary, we got rid of far too many players (in fact, three of them all to the North East). Hail the DoF system and our pre-season planning.


Jones.

If you listen to the Sunderland boss you'll notice he isn't dismissing Tottenham's approach for Jones. Well, he is, but not in the direct fashion we've heard in recent weeks. In a SSN interview he acknowledges a bid has been made, mentions how the club and the player are under pressure, and how Jones is just getting on with it. He mentions that Jones wants to stay. Sunderland have said the player isn't going nowhere, but it still appears ominous. Redknapp has also commented on this by saying that there has been dialogue between both chairmen, so it's more than obvious that if the price is right, Sunderland will be happy to accept. Probably.

Still don't believe he is worth a penny more than £8M (and even that's too much but it's the average in today's modern day market).


Robbie Keane.

I kid you not. Harry is telling everyone how much he rates the player. It's common knowledge that Liverpool have only paid as around £6M or so thus far for his summer transfer to Anfield. Someone should point out that Keane and Defoe never made a decent partnership.


Berbatov.

Worth a cheeky bid?

Kenwyne Jones: Is he a Cole or a Drogba?

Palacios has completed his medical, all down to personal terms being agreed now. Would be nice that some day Spurs will have a scouting network that allows them to pick up these players BEFORE they become flavour of the month with other clubs who got there first. An obvious change in mentality is needed. Just because we are a rich club that can attract players to London life doesn’t mean we need to be lazy with our approach and wait for other clubs to pluck players from obscurity, and then wait for us to come in with an over-inflated bid. Well done to Wigan for purchasing a reserve player for less than a million and selling him for fourteen. Now that's sell-on value that Levy would appreciate.

Still no confirmation on Appiah, but the forum and message board 'In The Know' peeps are suggesting it's still going to happen. We shall see.

We have also apparently signed Chelsea keeper Cudicini for a million. Great if he is at the club to give Gomes competition and play as number 2. Not so great if ‘arry has decided to sell Gomes. My money is on Carlo being a replacement for Sanchez. If this is confirmed later on, then good work on getting experienced Premiership cover for this position.

Our interest in Kenwyne Jones seems to have gone quiet due to Sunderland’s insistence that he will not be sold under any circumstances. Two schools of thought about this player, so if you are either Spurs or Sunderland I wouldn’t mind hearing your opinions on him. To be honest, I’ve not seen enough of the guy in action. And Match of the Day highlights when he does play well is not a good basis for making a true educated opinion on his value.


School of Thought #1 ‘He’s a Carlton Cole’

Not that Cole is a bad player to have at the minute (evident by his recent form for the Hammers). Cole’s got rid of the dj’ing and other distractions (and his knees seems to be ok nowadays) and also has the comfort of no competition at West Ham which has actually worked positively in his favour. So is Jones just a clone of Carlton? Jones is not prolific. He is not a natural goal-scorer and arguably has a poor touch and finishing ability compared to other Prem forwards (let alone players actually worth '£15M'). He’s also a bit lazy and apart from being a bit of a lump the only quality he does have is he’s good in the air.


School of Thought #2 ‘He’s a young Drogba’

I’m sure this has stuck from the time Roy Keane said he was the best forward in the country and he wouldn’t sell him for £20M. It was Keane who compared him to Drogba, and others also believe he will develop into the same type of player and that currently he is simply a young version of the Chelsea striker (without the diving). Simply needs to mature as a player before the class shines through. Can you see it? I can’t. Maybe I’m not looking hard enough.


The only question that should be asked (if this deal was to get back on track)? Is he what we need? I’d say what we need at the moment is a foil for Defoe. I don’t have faith in Bent and I think Pav would also probably benefit from a foilesque type of player.

Both JD and Pav are potentially 15-20 goals per season players, if partnered up well (whether that’s together is something Harry needs to work out). So, Jones – or whoever we look at as an alternative – is going to be our 3rd option. And that would have to be a bit of a lump with a touch of pace. Would also be a bonus if he had a good touch and finishing abilities.

Jones is big and can put himself about. And he has pace. And he also fits the Redknapp seal of approval. He’s the type of player he goes for. Obviously, considering we have enquired/bid for him. We also need someone who is strong in the air, and there’s no doubting this particular trait of Jones.

So is he the right forward to help complete the required trinity for survival and progression? Goals have dried up at the Lane since Berba and Keano moved on.

Regardless of whether he is closer to Cole than he is to Drogba (I still don't see it) or somewhere in the middle of the two.

Would you swap him for Bent? Would Sunderland be silly enough to take Bent?

With us being far from safe in our Prem League standing, does Jones fit the bill with the task at hand? If he doesn’t, who does?

Andrei's Magical Mystery Tour

This week I am mostly wanting to play in:

The Premiership.
by guest blogger Andrei Arshavin.


Hello, my name is Andrei. Andrei Arshavin. You might remember me from Zenit's UEFA Cup games when we achieved great success in lifting the silverware, defeating the Glasgow in Manchester. I also play for Russia and I am their star player. I'm sure you remember my famous baby-face cheek when celebrating a goal in the European Championships.

You know the one. It's when I look into the camera and shrug knowingly, with a glum yet ironically tinged pout of the lips, suggesting to the viewers I know they know how good I am and I don't mind it at all. No? You don't remember the celebration? Really? Here is a picture I have prepared for you to help jog your memory:

This is me. Andrei.

I am still playing my domestic football for Zenit, but want to play elsewhere. I must leave Zenit. I have been leaving them for many months now. This is not a debate, it is fact. My dream move would be to Barcelona. I have supported them my whole life and even own a shirt that my agent gave me to prove my loyalty to the Catalans whilst photographed by many reporters. Here is another picture of me with a Barcelona shirt when I was a little younger. They are my boyhood club and no matter who I play for, I will always play for them in my heart of hearts even when playing for someone else.

That is not lipstick. The photo has exaggerated the colour of my lush pink lips and made them look red, red like the colour of the Arsenal, one of my English dream moves if possible, please.

I think I would be perfect for Barca and players like Messi and Henry would compliment my special special play. Zenit need to allow me to go and follow my dream. My summer dream move to Tottenham was sabotaged by Zenit's greed. Yes I am worth more than £20M but do not hold everyone to ransom. Let me be free to claim my destiny. And look at Spurs. They are fighting relegation because I am not there to create goals for them. My good friend Roman is struggling without my cheeky yet deceptive skill. Same say Spurs have pre-contract with Zenit and Zenit wait for bigger bid first before selling. I say this is sh*t. It is rumour from the gutter.

My new dream move a couple of months ago was Bayern of Munich of Germania. This is a dream but Zenit did not allow me to achieve this destination. I am not a slave. Europe must not be denied my petulant magic on the field. My cheeky glum shrugging should not be anchored to Russian land only. Here is a picture of me:

Why so serious? Because I am serious to leave the Zenit

The winter transfer window is now open, and I believe I am a step closer to playing with my boyhood club Barcelona or Munich. My other dream club. However, I like England. My friend Roman says it's cold like Russia. My agent Mr Latcher is speaking with the Arsenal about a move. It is a dream to play in the Premiership and Arsenal. I also have a picture of me in a Arsenal shirt when I was young:

Proof of my Arsenal bloodline

I am counting the seconds down to the closure of the transfer window when Zenit finally allow me to follow my dream and depart for North London where I will destroy teams with my vision and tapestry of talent.

I like North London. But not sure of the Spurs. Ramos is gone, no? Harry Redknapp has a scary face. If Barca, Bayern, Chelsea and Arsenal, if these dreams do not happen, then yes, why not Tottenham? My friend Roman is there. I speak to him regularly. But Spurs is no longer dream. Just a nap. And this High Road you have, I can not find Louis Vuitton anywhere.

Tottenham? It's not sexy.

But my heart is set. I must be a Arsenal player. My agent told me this and my dream is now clear. I must not wait any longer. They should pay Zenit all of the money up-front in cash. It is fair, no? I am worth it. I am a footballer and want to play football where my heart is, and my heart although its above my gut, its soul is in the Emirates Arena. Adebayor, van Persie, Walcott...... they will learn much from me and how to celebrate goals with true style.

Islington? Much more sexy than Tottenham High road.

Arsenal for me is the team I must be playing for. They must make sure my agent is happy and then I play for them. My agent understands football and what is dear to my heart. I hear good things about the Arsenal area. I visited recently when I was on holiday in London and it is my favourite place. I want to visit the Bierodrome in Angel. It has many beers. Russian beer as well I hope. And I hear many sexy girls in this place.

They are all angels in Angel, with wings to fly to my hotel

It is my dream to be with Islington girls. Many of them. Zenit must not stand in my way. My dreams for Barca, Munich and Chelsea are no more. I will be 100% committed and pray and pray Arsenal pay my worth to my club and then big holiday for Mr Latcher. If no deal, Mr Latcher will buy my contract and I will be free agent in the summer and then I go anywhere I want. For football reasons. And some money for Louis Vuitton. Yes - Arsenal is my dream.

Unless Manchester City want me. They are a big club building for Champions League. Bigger than Chelsea. Kaka is not great, but I am. They do not need Kaka and I can play golf and make goals for Bellamy. Bid for me City, if you want me to want you to be my dream.



Next week: It is my dream to play for Juventus and Inter.

Payment plan for Palacios?

According to Wigan boss Steve Bruce, the size of the fee has been agreed between Spurs and the Latics for holding midfielder Wilson Palacios. But as far as the payment is concerned, Bruce has stated that our dear esteemed chairman wants to pay if over something like 55 years.

Obviously a slight exaggeration. It's probably more like 48 years.

Honestly Daniel. Look for those extra pennies behind the sofa and if need be, smash that piggy bank you've got in your office and try and be a little more reasonable with the offer. Or maybe sell the Opus for a discounted price of £3,500 (bargin!).

Have we run out of those £15M reserve transfer buckets?

Still on the Palacios story, loving the piece in the Daily Mail about how Wilson will reject Spurs and stay at Wigan till the end of the season. That's not the bit I smiled at. The part that says Wigan are reluctant to do business with Spurs - much like Sunderland, West Ham, Pompey and Boro having been 'aggrieved' at the way we have gone about our business.

So let's take a look at how we've gone about it.

Who revealed to the media that a bid had been made for Palacios? Wigan.
Who revealed to the media that bids had been made for Bellamy? West Ham.
Who revealed to the media that a bid had been made for Jones? Sunderland.

As for Downing. All Redknapp did (I'm not too critical of him in this case) was answer a direct question from a journalist. Not exactly with the style of a Rafa or Sir Alex either. After that point, it's Boro who did all the 'talking' via the media.

In fact, I see no 'scatter gun' approach in the way we have gone about our (lack of) business this Jan window. We made enquiries, made bids and that is it. If clubs then want to make comments after the fact, that's their prerogative.

For now, all we can do is sit back and wait for an official word from the clubs in question. Then let the media tell everyone like they knew all along.

Hughes 1 Harry 0

The Times are apparently reporting that Man City will pull out of the deal for Palacios if Spurs end their interest in Craig Bellamy. Basically, we've both bid for the West Ham striker (our bid is surprisingly more according to reports this evening but West Ham do not want to do business with us). Bellamy might fancy a move to Spurs over City, so Hughes is obviously frustrated with our persistent bids distracting the player from joining him at Eastlands.

You following this? Reading between the lines, City don't actually want Palacios, but using the art of bluffing, are suggesting they could easily beat us to his signature, so if we want Wilson we have to end our interest in Bellmay.

So ridiculous, it just might be true.

Or maybe we're not really in for Bellamy. Hmm...

31 Days in January, 31 too many

Craig Bellamy has apparently gone on strike at West Ham to force them to accept a transfer bid from Spurs. No word on Appiah and whether his trial was successful enough to earn him a contract. Palacios has been virtually done for the past 6 hours, long enough it would seem for Utd and City to now be linked to the player. Jenas isn't going anywhere, which sounds like a description of him running around the midfield area looking for the ball. Bored of Adriano? Don't fret, because Crespo has now rejected us. Bless him. He actually thinks we were interested.

The Sunderland boss had a right old ding-dong go at us for chasing every player in the league, and using the media to do so (the old tap-dance trick), including the courting of his very own Kenwyne Jones. Even though, I'm pretty sure half the time Redknapp is reacting to questions asked after we've made a bid. So either (as 'arry has pointed out) someone within Spurs is leaking information, or agents are doing it once the player finds out a bid has been made for them. It's nothing new. Much like the over-inflated asking prices of said players. Including Jones by the way. Is £15M the new £5M? Did we learn nothing from the Darren Bent transfer? Why do we even encourage this? Keep paying it, they'll keep charging it.

Yes. It's January. And I'm uninspired. So much rumorwhoring. We've obviously bid for a number of players, and inquired for a few. Nothing unusual or unexpected in that. Not sure I agree with the likes of Jones and Bellamy, especially if I'm wearing my Future Hat™. Are these textbook Spurs player we'd sign under any other circumstance? However, if I'm sporting my Present Day Scarf™, then players of this ilk are possibly worthy of having in a relegation scrap. But how far can they take us?

See the paradox there? I seem to want to avoid relegation with the right type of player but also can't help thinking about how these signings will affect us later when we attempt to push forward to the giddy heights we lust for. But alas, gone it seems are the Berbatovesque type of sexy signings usually associated with N17. But is that a bad thing? Could you handle us signing a sublime player only to see him move on the moment Fergie gives him the wink? And sexy signings haven't ever given us the right winning mentality. Few Spurs sides over the past 10-15 years have had that element of ruthlessness. But boy, can we skip and shake our booty now and again.

Arguably, you could say Defoe was a superfluous signing. A sexy signing (which is anything that has Spurs fan's proclaiming the Second Coming). He's an ex-player, returning after a year gone. Cue the 'he's back home' sound-bites. But the Defoe who lost form isn't the type of player we'd want in a scrap. But then that Defoe had to contend with watching Keane and Berbatov strike up a partnership made in heaven. Anyone would suffer and want to get away from that. Way too much tongue and lingering looks between those two.

Palacios, though is one of those proper players Harry needs to help bulk up the team, but Palacios worked well for Wigan based on the fact that Wigan have structure and players who support each other and function within the tactics layed out. Wilson will have no time to bed-in, so trust is with Harry to know exactly how he plans to line-up his post-January Spurs side.

Being linked constantly to forwards rather than a left-winger is also reason to nervously crawl into a corner and sway backwards and forwards very slowly. Downing appears to be a non-starter, so who's the next lucky player to be tagged triffic by 'arry?

And am I a snob to stick my nose up at Bellamy? Or should I simply point to his general moaning attitude, injury issues and poor goal ratio as reason enough for us to keep the faith in our Russian lad?

So we are back to waiting and placing that ever so hard to part with trust in the manager and (gulp) chairman. Harry brings in the 'right' players, instils a backbone to the side, and we climb out of danger and away from the mire and settle for the comfort of 14th place. It's a nosebleed I'm sure we can all keep under control.

But then what? Levy's grand plan of buying young British players with sell-on value is non-existent. He's got a brand spanking new Stadium to think about. So having spent millions upon millions to compete for 4th spot, we are now spending millions to get out of the bottom three and if we do (which I'm sure we will) we'll have to spend millions more to relaunch the Top 4 dream, resorting back to bringing in those quintessential Tottenham flair players (because we're not happy without them). And we'll be back to where we were 3 or so years ago. Which means..............YES! WE'VE GOT OUR TOTTENHAM BACK!

I understand the masterplan now. Be patient, and we'll be back to our Barcelona shirt-wearing best in no time.

If only January never existed. Every day seems to last forever with the constant breaking news and inside information forum exclusive and yellow ticker on Sky Sports News.

15 days left. Wake me up in 16.

Jose flirts with Jenius

Palacios is almost done and dusted. And the madness of this transfer window continues, this time with the Special One, Jose, telling us all the way from Milan (via Sky Sports News) that he wants Jenas. This following on from some rather nice comments made about Gareth Bale (as good as Ashley Cole apparently).

So, what gives with Mourinho? Someone spike his morning cup of coffee?

Every manager, Spurs or England, appear to rate Jermaine, whilst opposing fans and the Spurs faithful laugh and pull their hair out respectively. All the potential to be the next Gerrard. Has the energy, the athleticism but lacks the most important factor of them all. Arrogance. Jenas has no confidence or self-belief. And the comfort of White Hart Lane has nullified and stagnated any chance of development, though arguably, there was never any guarantee he would make the steps up to international class and then world class - especially in the comfort zone that is White Hart Lane. Believe that you are outstanding and you tend to be fairly outstanding in performance, more so in the case of someone like Lampard than a Bentley. You need the ability in the first place. Lampard believes his own hype. Bentley's hype is mis-guided. So does Jenas have 'that ability'? Is there a chance he can tap into it?

Gerrard is on another level. Penthouse apartment. Gold taps in the bathroom. But most would say Jenas is lost somewhere in the underground car-park, alone and scared.

So why does Jose, along with all other managers who have worked with Jenas, rate him so highly? Are his strengths invisible to the eyes of run-of-the-mill football fans? Does Jose believe he can coax out the Gerrard in Jenas and push him to the level Lampard plays at? Probably. If one person can take potential (Joe Cole) and turn it to gold, Jose can.

£20M should do the trick.

It's a mad mad mad mad world...

Can someone find a moment to help me define what exactly constitutes a ‘flop’? Because Gio do Santos appears to be the very personification of one according the media who, almost every other week, like to tell us that he isn’t wanted by Spurs and that he is set to be shifted out (PSG the current tabloid choice of the week).

This is the same Gio that Harry Redknapp couldn’t wait to have back from injury. Oh yes, the wee lad has been out for a while and hasn’t been able to play. Did you not know that? Regardless of his injury how dare he fail to impress chilling on the treatment table listening to his ipod. What a waste of money hey?

Honestly, get a grip.

I know it’s the Jan transfer window and it’s the time of year when journalists, sports writers and editors all over the country lobotomise each other with pencils as they conduct a symphony of monkeys on typewriters who churn out transfer story after transfer story to the theme tune of Saint and Greavise. What? You thought Jenas to Madrid wrote itself?

We all know that the stories we read whilst munching on our coco-pops are an amalgamation of half-truths, guess-work, the bleeding obvious and agent whispers. Add to the mix Harry Redknapp and his batphone and the press are practically drowning in gossip column exclusives.

Gio is a talent. He’s young and proven at all international levels he’s appeared at for Mexico. Not the finished article by a longshot. He obviously isn’t as naturally gifted or talented as Bojan or Messi – but then you’ll be hard pressed to find players of the same age who are. He left Barcelona simply because of the likes of Messi. There’s no way in for him. Joining Spurs and finding himself playing for a team with no direction, structure or confidence isn’t the ideal way to kick-start your life in the Premiership. Getting injured and being out for a lengthy period sort of puts the dampers on any type of progression.

So unless Redknapp is telling fibs (that’s unpossible) why on earth would we want to get rid of a player that hasn’t had a chance to shine? A creative player, one that tore it up in the U17 World Cup back in 2005 and again in the U20 World Cup in ’07. A player we could do with as an option once we sign some 'proper' up-for-a-relegation-battle fighters to give us the required backbone to help protect him as he dinks down the wing.

Gio isn’t the only player ‘on his way’ according to our esteemed journo friends and their monkey companions. Bentley is also on the list. It’s fair to say he has been a titanic disappointment. Here’s a player that is basically very decent on his day. He isn’t great, but he’s very good and would grace practically all Prem clubs (apart from the top 4 who do possesses ‘great’ quality). However, our David, is too distracted by the fact that he thinks he’s great. Highlights and Beckham comparisons aside, when he isn’t star-jumping David is trying way too hard rather than simply playing for the team and doing the simple things. We’ve seen this before. We saw it with Gomes. Confidence is drained and you can’t even muster up school-boy basics. But selling him so soon after signing him is a pointless exercise (although if there is one club that is masterful at being pointless it's us). If Spurs manage to claw back some form, Bentley will most likely begin to shine.

He’s still actually the wrong type of player for Spurs. A bit superfluous at times, even when ‘on form’. Not the backbone made of steel type of team player Spurs have been crying out for 20 years. But then when have we ever gone out and signed the right type of player?

Another one who is set to leave WHL is our dear beloved Jermaine Jenas. The perpetually potentially 'great' box-2-box player. An enigma. Undroppable for so many seasons at Spurs, doesn’t do much unless it’s against the likes of Derby or a depleted Arsenal side. Yet on occasions is somehow inexplicable ‘missed’ from the team when he doesn’t play. You know what I mean? You’ve heard Spurs fans say it:

“I hate to say it, but we missed Jenas today”

You can’t explain why, but you find yourself believing it and when he does play, you’re smashing the keyboard as you punch your frustrations posting on a Spurs message board calling him 'useless'. What does Jenas do exactly? It's not an easy question to answer.

JJ has been linked with (as mentioned earlier) Madrid and also Everton and Wigan and probably one or two other clubs, with his value measured between £3.5M to £8M. If Palacios arrives at the Lane (and he plays as a DM) then is it really Jenas under threat or Zokora? Or will Harry play Palacios and Zokora together? And what of Appiah? Is he the backup plan in case we fail to bring in a bog-standard £15M (or so) signing? Palacios and Modric in centre-mid will do me just fine.

Then you have the forwards. Defoe (can he actually hold up the ball or beat the offside trap?), Pav (he's not been the country for long) and Bent (on his way to Villa?). A mish-mash of styles, none of them suited to play with each other. Otherwise, why would we be courting the ever-smiling Craig 'who took a dump in my corn flakes?' Bellamy?

Then there’s the story that has somehow fallen under the media's radar concerning Arshavin. Arsenal haven’t actually made a bid (which explains Latcher’s insistent moaning) and Spurs and Zenit have long agreed a deal, the basis being that if nobody matches it then he signs for Spurs. Yep, that’s right. Transfer fee as well as personal terms all agreed and sorted. It was all agreed and sorted back at the last deadline, till around 11:40pm when Zenit started playing silly buggers again and the deal failed to complete by midnight. But the agreement stayed in place. If nobody bids the exact same amount of more, then Zenit have to process the deal cometh the deadline. And when is the deadline? 16th January. Today. Must be true cause I read it in an internet fourm, LOLZ.

If you’re going to ask me to hold onto my hat, don’t bother. I’ll probably be eating it later on. If those pesky monkeys haven’t got a hold of it before me.

Palacios again

Palacios. What is it with every player being priced up around the £15M mark? I guess they see us mugs coming from a mile away. It's Spurs. They don't pay a penny less for a player. What is utterly insane is that we are probably going to fork out the cash for this one.

That's a player who cost Wigan £1M (actually, probably about 750,000k to be exact). But for the sake of argument, let's round it off to £1M, because it makes it easy to then say Wigan want 14 times as much money as they parted with 12 months ago.

How does that even make sense?

Over at Eastlands, incredibly, it looks like Kaka might actually join City. Regardless of whether its because his dad is going to earn a cool 35 million euros (allegedly) from the transfer (baby Jesus would approve) how exactly is it right for a player like Kaka to turn his back on AC Milan and sign for Manchester City? Football is imploding. There are some things that should never happen in football, and this is one of them.

RIP. Thoughts and prayers for the beautiful game.

Here's £10M and hold on, got another £5M in my back pocket

We've failed in a £10M bid for Wigan's Palacios. But from the sounds of it they are willing to part with the player if we bid a little more. Dave Whelan has told Spurs what they want. Probably £15M. Not sure he's worth anything more than £8M let alone £10M or £15M, but Spurs don't tend to pay true value for players anyhow.

I'm also far too distracted by Sky Sports News and their 'Inter will consider selling Adriano to Spurs if Jenas goes the other way' story.

Beautiful.

Who knows?

Ben. The man in the tree at Spurs Lodge has passed on this information to one of the inane Spurs forums that worship 'inside information'.

APPIAH IS PLAYING IN A TRAINING GROUND MATCH RIGHT NOW... AND LOOKS TERRIBLE, BOTTLE JOB APARENTLY, REALLY SH*T - BEN IS UNSURE WHO THE OPOSITION IS

PALACIOS - VERY GOOD CHANCE WILL HAPPEN

ADRIANO - 50-50 DEAL IN THE BALANCE,

NO WAY WE ARE LETTING BALE GO AND WE TOLD INTER THAT

So Appiah looks terrible, but the use of the (misspelt) word 'apparently' would suggest Ben isn't witnessing the training ground game, so surely this is dismissive as need-to-know info?

As for the rest, nothing that can't be guessed by reading the tabloids and hoping. Sad to say this really, but the likes of The Sun and Daily Mail are pissing all over the Tottenham ITK's currently. Just no creativity at all. Much like the Spurs midfield.

ZING.

Who's brave enough to wear Lilywhite?

Not that many it would appear.

Roman Bednár has been linked. He's the one scoring the goals for WBA. Tidy player for a club like WBA. But I get the raziaks when I start to considering these type of signings as the answer to our problems. Not that I didn't get the raziaks when we signed Bent and placed all our eggs on Pav's head (which explains his lack of movement).

Elsewhere, Real Madrid have appeared to lost interested in signing Jenas. Possibly admitting defeat when they discovered Wigan are interested (Madrid will have to do with Ronaldo so tough luck). From the Spurs perspective, its us who want a Wigan player (Palacios) and want to swap JJ and cash for him. Everton also linked in a £3.5M for our midfield Jenuis. Which is laughable. Hot air is worth much more than that, thanks to the mugs who would pay out twice us much. Sorry, what's that? Oh yeah. He plays for Spurs already.

Levy has rejected a £8M bid for Bent. This the same Darren Bent who had a storming pre-season, did nothing for ages, re-discovered his form and played for England, then lost it again and now looks dis-interested. Can't play upfront with Pav (and vice-versa) and probably won't play all that well with Defoe (who struggles to play well with any player in white, apart from Mido. Is he available?).

If that’s not enough, how about Adriano for Bale? Thank you to The Sun for posh people, the Daily Mail for that particular transfer nugget.

His name was Prince

And off he goes. Kevin Prince Boateng has joined Dortmund on loan till the end of the season. That's one of the players Harry in-directly slated the other day as not being good enough. I guess all the Comolli signed 'youngsters' are going to be farmed out now. So one hopes new arrivals are imminent, otherwise we are left with even less depth in an already unbalanced squad.

Gomes (someone bid £7M for him - but it's been rejected) looks like staying, which is actually a relief. He's fought back well from his early season disasters.

Downing is dead in the water. Not literally, that would be homicide. Gibson is unmoveable on the subject that no Boro players will be leaving the Riverside. Which is fine. If it was up to me, nobody from Middlesbrough would be allowed to leave the town. Ever. I'd have a wall built around the place.

Transfer Latest

Ghana international Stephen Appiah is apparently set to sign for us.

28 years old.
Defensive midfielder.

Can he tackle? Yes.
Can he dribble? Yes.
Can he pass the ball forwards? Yes.
Can he shoot? Yes.
Will he cost us £8M in transfer fees? No.

The lad is out of contract (although there's a legal ding-dong going on with his former club Fenerbache) but this won't apparently stop him from training with us, with a view to moving to the Lane till the end of the season. What we might save in transfer fees may well be spent on his wages (I'm going to laugh if the rumours of him wanting 70k per week are true. Then cry).

Obviously, the main problem with this happening is that Appiah is a bit of an injury prone players. We love a bit of that at Spurs. Hence the initial 'until the end of season' contract. Does beg the question: Are there no other potential targets who wont cost a bomb in wages and are not prone to dodgy knees?

Elsewhere, Chimbonda has been linked with a 'shock return' to Tottenham. I guess he's bottled out of walking all the way to Lyon and plans to jump on a Virgin train back to the capital.

Like fuck. Do one Pascal.

The Downing Saga is back. And the third instalment will round off the trilogy splendidly. It's always a good laugh to read between the lines when it comes to chairman and managers making 'over my dead body' statements about players. Spurs are not quite doing a 'Man Utd' by unsettling players. Sure, Harry did talk about Defoe and Downing publicly. So maybe that was a little naughty, but Spurs have almost immediately put their money where their mouth is and make a couple of bids. Both rejected. Although according to news sources, the difference between Spurs and Pompey's estimation for the players is £1.5M. With Downing, he's gone the whole hog and handed in a transfer request.

Gibson's war cry about 'knuckling down and focusing on the job' is pretty much the Alamo for him and Southgate. It's not like he's going to come out and say 'Yes, we are willing to sell the player. We want XXX amount for him'. He'll attempt to drag this out till the final day of the transfer if need be to avoid it from happening, and if it does happen it will be because he's managed to bleed us dry in the process. And why not? He's looking after his club.

I'm more curious about the forthcoming 'undisclosed fee' for Defoe to help Levy avoid embarrassment.

With Downing, the transfer request will no doubt once more influence fan opinion and as noted, Gibson will do his utmost to make the whole process fairly tricky for us. One thing to note here, is that all the talk is coming out of Boro at the minute. They were the ones who told the media that no players are for sale. And they revealed the bid from us was 'derisory', and reiterated again there will be no sale. Go back a few weeks and Southgate was almost inviting bids. All part of the flirting game clubs play.

So. Potentially we might get ourselves a left-winger, a striker and a DM.

Shocking stuff.

The nightmare after Christmas

Latest ITK info:

My friend knows someone within the West Ham medical team and has been told he is signing for us for approx £8m.

I think its a pretty credible source but what often happens is that the deal is 100% lined up agreed and then either club pulls the plug (the selling club because they receive a better offer or the buying club because they have a better deal in place elsewhere) hence why some ITK turns out not to be true.

Not sure if this is as well as or instead of Defoe.

RIP Tottenham Hotspur.

Jenas to Madrid