Saturday, 7 July 2007

League of Lilywhites est. 2007

It’s time for a new world order. It’s time to re-define what it is to be a football fan. It’s time to put together a firm.

Now Danny Dyer maybe a part-time mockney West Ham fan, but respect to Britain’s finest method actor for having the balls to walk into the territories of the worlds hardest and largest firms. From the political former war ridden lands of Croatia and Serbia to the fanatical association clubs in Argentina. Whether it’s the neo-nazis of Italy or the gun-holders of Brazil, he’s been in the mix of all the naughty action from all four corners, making his original pilgrimage across England and Scotland appear bland in comparison.

Culturally, we simply don’t mass-produce the type of hatred and match day fanaticism that the South Americans or even the Polish are capable of. And excluding Celtic and Rangers and in some ways Utd and Liverpool (docks and unemployment) we also don’t come close to the hatred, for example, the Croatian and Serbian fans share.

Arguably, most of the time, the heydays of the 1980's were simply down to football, pure and simple. Spurs and Arsenal hate each other because of long forgotten arguments over a caravan being parked in our street. It’s not exactly biblical. Its a 'I hate you because thats what I'm meant to do' type of set-up.

So over here in England, it seems no excuse is needed other than ‘you support them lot’ to start a fight. Hooligans fight other hooligans because both sets wear opposing colours. Very little in the way of politics or religion or differences in social class. And firms are powerless in orchestrating any influence over the clubs they represent. You won’t find Spooky taking Danny Dyer on a tour of White Hart Lane and it’s trophy room anytime soon. Though it would be pretty pointless other than to show him the collection of spider-webs, including the ones that dates back to the sixties.

CCTV and over-the-top policing means that any fighting is pre-arranged, making the mobile phone the most potent accessory for a modern day English thug. England is Fight Club with beer guts and questionable fashion choices.



The anti-George Graham Protest of 1998 when the burning of a season ticket got out of hand



Yes, it still kicks off, but this isn’t the 1970’s and 80’s. The modern fan sometimes prefers to take his bird to the game and enjoys the odd pill or line of coke now and again rather than constantly drowning in warm lager. The modern fan likes to do all the gesturing and shouting of abuse and ‘giving it some’ without the actual physical contact of punches, kicks and Stanley knives...then rushes home to knock-one out over the Football Factory or The Firm (not the one with Tom Cruise, or maybe depending on which way you are inclined).

It’s all rather embarrassing. And while some firms take pride in being hooligans for life, it doesn’t serve an actual purpose other than the adrenaline rush that comes with fighting. Which, granted, is more than half of what it's all about. But it doesn’t result with us getting our own supporters clubs like in Holland. And it doesn’t empower us in any way. And if you’re caught fighting, you’re banned from your home ground and its practically game over. It's zero tolerance resulting in an underground culture.


Spooky, during the 'Hoddle' Riots of 2003



Its time to re-define things. Step aside Spurs Yoof and Trevor Tanner.

Modern day English hooliganism is dead. Its now time for a new era. Let's take the swaggering off the suburban streets and alley ways and onto the information superhighway.

I am proud to officially announce that memberships to a new modern-day football firm are now open to all fanatical fans of Tottenham Hotspur. The unveiling of our badge of honour and the avatar that each member will possess will be presented in the near future on this blog. And the name of this firm?


'League of Lilywhites'


This is unlike any other firm on the planet. This firm cannot be seen by CCTV or chased by police dogs. This firm cannot bleed or be ambushed. This firm laughs in the face of tear gas. This firm sits behind a firewall of passion. This firm looks over the domains of football forums and instead of broken bottles and led pipes, we use a biting emoticon and the reply button.


This firm is online and connected.


The League of Lilywhites are the new generation. A cyber Yid army of relentless browsing and posting. And no DOS attack, IP Ban or DNS look-up can intimidate us.


Our ethos:

  • To remain unequivocally committed to the club and its history, placing its importance above chairman, manager and players
  • To keep an eye on Daniel Levy, purely through Internet connectivity, where restraining orders and electronic tags do not exist
  • To continue to address the chairman via stern and insightful emails/letters retaining balanced and constructive opinions and viewpoints at all times without ever being offensive
  • To stand our ground with club and opposing fan propaganda with well written blog entries and forum posts, as well as an active 'hit them hard' leaflet campaign and a potential future online fanzine
  • To denounce any 'In the Know' charlatans and give them the humiliation they strongly deserve by using the Art of Flaming as our principle weapon of justice.
  • To campaign against members-only Spurs forums who consider themselves 'elite', targeting their columnists and infiltrating their forums
  • To overcome the growing threat of the Levy financed black-ops propaganda puppet regime - 'The Agents of Levy' (their principle aim is to disrupt the publics perception of the supporters and use dirty trick tactics to undermine fan politics, leaving us to appear fickle, indecisive and contradictory. Thus giving the power back to the board)
  • To help retain a balanced middle ground between delusions of grandeur and knee-jerk depression on various Spurs Internet message boards.
  • To decimate any opposing forum invasions to any online Tottenham stronghold
  • To continue The War Against the Stewards (T.W.A.T.S.) and our fight to remain standing in the Park Lane during games



Our philosophy:


"Football forums are about glory, about posting with style and with a flourish, about going out and flaming the lot, not waiting for them to die of boredom" ~ Spooky, 2007


We post for the honour of the club, in the spirit of Harry Hotspur, with the grace of Danny Blanchflower, the strength of Dave Mackey and mentality of Bill Nicholson.




There we have it. We are both a political and interactive supporters group. We are not available for actual physical fights - though we are happy to have 'meet-ups' with opposing online firms in IRC or a newsgroup .

More information will follow, including the firms avatar...coming soon.


Fans wishing to become members of the League of Lilywhites firm, email me at (to be updated)

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Sign me up. Whats the pension like?

Anonymous said...

"Spurs and Arsenal hate each other because of long forgotten arguments over a caravan being parked in our street."

Our caravan > Your house.

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a wonderful plan. All you need is an insider at the club and you are set.