Dear Mr Levy

Do you rate Pavlyuchenko?

2009-04-09T11:52:00.012+01:00

UPDATE:

I have moved off Blogger.

If you have http://dearmrlevy.blogspot.com/ bookmarked, please browse to:

www.dearmrlevy.com.

ta,

See you on the other side.

Pavlyuchenko apparently requires surgery for a groin injury. You'll have noticed he hasn't played a part in our recent games and the last thing I can remember from him (other than a missed penalty in a reserve match) was some quotes based around a complaint that he is struggling to learn English. This is largely thanks to his every day routine of hotel - breakfast - training - hotel - dinner - bed. Gruelling work schedule taking its toll there for Roman.

It's been pointed out that the club should be doing far more to make sure he develops his linguistic skills. The player still 'thinks' in Russian which means he has to attempt to translate what he wants to relay to his team-mates from Russian into English. Which, according to the player, is time consuming.

I'm miffed. Just call out the players name. You're not exactly gonna find the need to stand on the edge of the box and scream, 'Hey Aaron, Aaron, please strike the ball with the outside of your foot and lay it into my path. I'm going to sweetly strike it to the left of the goal'.

A simple yelp will suffice.

Pedanticisms aside, he is probably referring to the aftermath of a broken down attack when he needs to explain to the player who passed the ball to the right when he (Pav) was running to the left what space he intends to run into next time round. Again, arguably, all he has to do is point and wave his arms about and even speak his disgruntledness in Russian. The likelihood is his team-mate will understand the complaint far more clearly than anything coming out of Robbie Keanes mouth.

There's a lot that hasn't gone right for Pav since his move to the UK. Arguably, the guy is tired having playing several months of football in Russia in the snow before the Prem had kicked-off. He hasn't done too shabby considering the start of the season we've had (two points, eight games), but although he has scored himself into double figures - he hasn't scored that many in the league. He's a bit slow, and sometimes his first touch isn't great and his long shot efforts are poor - but he seems to find himself in the right place at the right time and unlike Darren Bent, he contributes far more and appears to be more adaptable to Harry's tactics. He's a decent goal-scorer. Maybe not one worth £14M on current showing, but we always pay far more than what the player is truly worth. Problem, arguably, is he doesn't quite excel in anything in particular and can't be defined in the same terms of importance in the same way Keane or Defoe can (with what they can offer on the pitch).

Is he over-rated? Guess we can't really judge him until 10 games into next season. Although even a 'tired' player should be showing us a little bit more in the way of ability. But at the minute, the tired excuse and the injury issue saves him from the knee-jerk 'Get rid of him!' brigade.

I like Pav. He's comes across as a bit daft (maybe something is lost in translation) in interviews, but he plays with a smile on his face. You just get this impression he's only playing at around the 60% mark.

Arshavin is fairly fluent in English, but then he's also probably fluent in Spanish, German and Italian as right up to the end of the transfer window he probably wasn't that sure where his final destination would be.

So, I guess it's down to what Harry thinks and what he plans to do with Keane, Defoe, Bent and Roman when the season draws to a close and the summer months transfer merry-go-round kicks off again.

Surely Spurs can keep him behind an hour or so after training every day for a lesson in the fine art of speaking the Queens English? Just lock him in a room and stick a Only Fools and Horses VHS in the video player, and he'll be fine as dandy in a month.

Based on what you've seen and in comparison to our other forwards - and taking into account we have 4 players who strive to be first-team players - should he stay or should he go? In your opinion, has he shown us enough?

If anyone happens to bump into him in the Waltham Abbey Tescos - say hello. And compliment him on his choice of Louis Vuitton manbag........in English. If he shrugs and mutters something in Russian spank his bottom and state 'NO! Bad £14M forward who hasn't settled in England yet'. Give him a stern look and shake your head, before slowly walking away with a despondent swagger.

That ought to tell him.

Let's Relegate Newcastle United

2009-04-08T14:02:00.011+01:00

Slow news day, so I'll take the opportunity to slate Alan Shearer. 7,500 people turn up to watch a training session which is nothing more than a carefully executed propaganda exercise (with less of the careful and dollops of the propaganda). The attendance was apparently quite low considering how folk in Newcastle don't have much else to do other than follow their football club and welcome the latest in a never-ending recruitment drive to find their true Messiah. Although it's best to point out that the Worlds Greatest Fans© are struggling to turn up for home matches this season with attendance figures falling. Which must surely be down to their teams performances on the pitch and all the unwanted boardroom politics off it. Which would make them 'fickle' and not 'passionate', not that the media or Sky Sports News know how to differentiate between the two. Unless of course the club is based in the south of England, and in particular, North London - where they are most definitely classed as fickle.

In the training session Shearer barked out instructions, which is a first as Dowie has apparently been coordinating things on the training pitch since their arrival at the club. More comically, he took part in a 5-a-side game and scored following it up with his textbook hand in the air trademark celebration. Rolling back the years there Alan. It's epically embarrassing stuff from the publicity-shy pundit. Not quite the same thing as Hoddle showing Beckham how to bend a free-kick, but still....transparent for all to see.

Dowie is the one with the experience in training and management (when you write these things down and read them back, it just seems to get worse and worse for them doesn't it?). Shearer is meant to be there as some form of inspiration. A testament to a brand new beginning. A figure head to galvanise the club. In reality it's a ploy to soften any potential disaster that might befall the club. If they go down, they will go down with a 'legend' at the helm. A legend who can't be held accountable thanks to the fact he only has 8 games to save them (1 down, 7 to go). He's going to 'walk away' from it at the end of the season, so either way its advantage Shearer. If they go down, he'll be thanked for his gallant effort. If they stay up, his ego and new founded managerial credentials will expand tenfold. From a personal perspective, it gives him an opportunity to experiment with management and see if he has anything in the way of ability for any future challenge. What better way to test the waters than with the gift of eight games from the struggling Toon fanboy die-hard Mike Ashley (who might or might not be a Tottenham fan).

Keegan left in the midst of controversy. Kinnear (wish him well) might only return in a non-management capacity. And as for Shearer? He'll be back on the Match of the Day sofa, faster than you can say 'relegated'.

He apparently asked the 'lads' where else would thousands turn up to watch their team train (apart from the fact some clubs get 20,000 or so for reserve and academy games)? This is apparently his way of illustrating the importance and passion Newcastle play in the hearts of the locals. I guess getting 45-50K for home matches isn't reason enough for players to try harder.

Sort of puts it into perspective when compared to our lot. Everytime a new man arrives at the Lane, he is also referred to as the new Messiah by the media. And pressure is always evident from the stands regarding style of football played. Which is why George Graham was never destined to be a favourite (along with rather more obvious reasons) and why Sam Allardyce lasted 5 minutes at Newcastle. There are some unnerving parallels between both clubs, although we have a habit of picking up silverware every decade. They just have a rather annoying habit of always beating us up at St James Park. Newcastle are there to make us feel better. For all the soap opera elements that Levy orchestrates, we are always out-done by our friends up North.

Thank you.

It seems like an age ago we did manage to beat them (2-1) in possibly the worst game of football ever up at their ground in the Carling Cup earlier this season. Sunday 19th April has the potential to be one of emotional dejection, if the barcodes win at the Lane. Because it would mean we have aided them in their fight for survival.

That is simply unacceptable.

So, welcome to the 'Let's Relegate Newcastle United' campaign. Stoke, Pompey, Liverpool, Boro, Fulham and Villa are the other esteemed members. The prime directive is simple: Defeat Newcastle and do not allow for sharing of points.

It's in our hands to wipe the smugness off the face of Alan Shearer and make Match of the Day a little more bearable for all next season (I've run into some legal problems relating to the 'We must deport Mark Lawerson' initiative. Will keep you posted on developments on that one).

Stoke up first. Thoughts and prayers.

We're all going on a mid-table tour...

2009-04-07T14:56:00.006+01:00

Seven games left. We are now deep into the business end of the season. Alas squeaky bum time is not part of our agenda. There is still however a possibility of a European push to add some extra spark to the fixture list, but looking at the games ahead and then looking back at the miserable start to the season and the various hiccups and mis-guided moments of alleged clarity (we're going down, we're going down) we've had along the way, it's safe to say...thank God we are safe. And we are safe. We are right? Of course we are. Couple more points here and there should see us finish top half. I'm looking forward to the nosebleed. As for Europe...it's akin to an injection of botox to a thirty-year old face. Completely unnecessary.

But still, plenty of potential shenanigans left in the season (West Ham at home, relegating Newcastle, City and Utd, Everton away....etc) so no need to throw your season ticket towards the directors box just yet. 630 minutes of Tottenham left to go.

Regardless of all this, it still won't stop some people from thinking about the summer months that lay ahead of us.

Which means having to brace yourselves for plenty of Lennon and Modric transfer stories, even though one has signed a contract extension and the other only signed for us last summer. And after the Berbatov and Keane epics, you'd hope our chairman doesn't allow for the usual gut-wrenching acceptance of departure of key players. Expect Liverpool to be linked to our little Aaron anyway. And Levy - JUST SAY NO. The Tottenham Foundation is rich enough from donations, thank you very much.

Also brace yourselves for all the ITK and club insiders, that will surely be crawling out of the woodwork soon to tell us about potentially someone being signed but it's only 87% done so might or might not happen yet. I said I'd ignore them so that I could avoid another shitstorm like the one that took place during the last window. Remember the jihad directed my way? Happy days.

What might or might not happen with David Bentley is something that will also take up plenty of tabloid space between now and the summer and through out June and July. Did Harry whisper the other day that we are not going to sell any of our star players? Guess that means David has already cleared out his locker and is hitch-hiking his way back up North. Personally, I don't think he should go but as I've discussed a few times already this season - where can he play if he can't play right-wing? Can't see Lennon being dropped any time soon. Unless his form dips or he gets injured. If David is having personal problems, then fair enough, let him be. Let him sort himself out. When you set yourself such a high standard, it can sometimes be a struggle to reach it consistently. Those star-jumps were ace, and we've not seen the likes of them since.

But this is something we can all revisit in a couple of months. For now, I'd much prefer to enjoy what we have left of the season and hope the players strive for improvement rather than have one eye on how they plan to spend the summer months. We need to remain competitive at all times. Even when we are mathematically safe. None of this oh so typical switching off lark we experienced ponderously after last years Cup final and all the way to the death of the season and into the beginning of this season.

Palacios will be suspended for Saturday, which is a great shame. But a test to the depth of the squad, as we fall back onto the past. Yes, it's flux capacitor time with Zokora and Jenas pairing up in the middle. If West Ham win this, then expect a week long party in Green Street. If we lose, then I can imagine a vast majority of Spurs fans burning their season tickets and claiming celibacy from football forever. Such is the magnitude of this encounter.

Naaaaa, just fucking with you. West Ham fans might see this as a game of importance as they aim to surge ahead of some truly God awful sides below them to stake a claim for 7th spot, in a season where being average is enough to claim a ticket to Europe. And I don't blame them. They've had plenty of their own turmoil and quietly, in the midst of everything happening down at the bottom and right at the top, Zola and Clarke have got them ticking over fairly well in the middle section of the table. They've done enough to get them into a position that might event warrant the words 'successful season'.

I just want us to dick 'em cause it's fun, innit? Also because I'm still haunted by that 4-1 Easter defeat several years back. Put me right off my Creme Eggs.

Apologies for the textbook 'Spurs fans don't care about lickle West Ham as much as they care about us but by stating this it must mean that I do care otherwise I wouldn't bang on about it' preview of the Easter weekend game. I guess it's all down to one particular fan who sends me never ending texts that are meant to pass for 'banter' but appear to be of a more stalkerish nature in tone. Early in the season I was told it was 'do or die' at Upton Park for the both of us. And to think they call Spurs fans drama queens. I'm now being told this return fixture is a Cup final for European qualification. Some Cup final when we've gone from being almost season long relegation fodder to within a whisker of European qualification.

Best league in the world, innit? While West Ham have been picking up points and improving steadily, we've spent most of it being shit and yet we're what...4 or 5 points adrift of them? Shame we didn't beat Rovers. That would actually have made Saturday a potentially hilarious and ironic turnaround to our season and a rather fitting illustration of just how gash everyone below 6th is.

So step up, Didier Zokora and JJ. Dominate and boss the midfield with urgency, composure and menace. Let's brush the claret and blue aside and reveal in the glory bestowed upon the winners of a ding-dong derby match!

Jesus Christ, we're fucking doomed.

Two players and a referee walk into a pub.......

2009-04-06T16:47:00.000+01:00

"What do you both want to drink?" Asks the ref.
"I'll have a pint", says one of the players. "Make mine a rum", says the other.
The ref then sneezes a 'Dummy's Guide to understanding Java' out of his nose and Deirdre from Coronation Street wakes up from her dream explaining the fundamentals of dark matter in spoken Hebrew to the badger with the head like a golf ball. He laughs and the squirrels feast on the dead carcass of themselves from the future. North Korea then star-jumps with a knowing nod and remarks 'Καλά Χριστούγεννα'.

Confused? Was that joke a little on the random side? Inexplicable and surreal? I personally thought it made far more sense than some of the decisions I witnessed during Saturdays 2-1 defeat to Blackburn Rovers.

In particular, the foul on Palacios.

No matter how many times I watch it, all I see is Aaron Mokoena shoulder-charging Wilson Palacios face. Even looks like he shapes up to hit him as he runs towards our midfield powerhouse. Surely a red card ref, no? The right honourable Mr Walton didn't see it as such, but no surprise there considering what he did and didn't see through-out the afternoon. Whether it was the penalty he gave to us, the one he didn't give to Rovers or the second yellow to Palacios.

Allardyce (if you happen to notice) subbed the defender almost immediately after Mokoena flattened Wilson. Hmm...I wonder why.

Nothing has been said about this since (from what I've seen). And not a lot was made of it at the time either. Wilson (eventually) got up and got on with it. No damage done. I can't remember Andy Gray having kittens about it either. Mountain out of a mole hill then? Maybe I'm being too protective of a player in Lilywhite.

Or perhaps it does not require a re-visit based on the fact that Wilson does not wear the colours of Man Utd/Liverpool/Chelsea/Arsenal thus deeming the incident a non-event and a simple case of over-exuberance and Wilson's face getting in the way of very legal player-to-player contact.

The irony of later on having to watch Palacios get red-carded for basically attempting to avoid physicality with Dunn (and avoid a certain card) and thus falling to the ground and still receiving a card is completely and utterly lost on me. With Johnson of Pompey sent off for running in one of the other Saturday games, it's like some kind of weird experiment in anti-football where refs are following directives set by David Lynch.

Respect the referee? Sure I will. But only after the backwards talking midget in the room with the red drapes tells me to.

Blackburn 2 Spurs 1 - How did we manage to lose this one then?

2009-04-04T12:38:00.032+01:00

Up against the hoofing anti-football of Sam Allardyce, for the sake of all things beautiful, we had to win. Unfortunately, the ugly won.

King (4 games on the trot) and Bent started, unchanged side. Hail consistency! Wasn't a tidy game by any means when we were in possession, but we played in some clever balls, Modric involved as often as possible. Got ourselves into some tasty positions first half. But we remained comfortable. All the way through to the second half and up until the final 20 minutes. Where it all went wrong.

Should have had this wrapped up in the first half. 1-0 up from a Keane penalty. A controversial one at that. Although at a stretch you could argue Givet leaned forward and didn't try to move his arm away. At a stretch. In all honesty, it wasn't a clear cut penalty and the referee struggled with consistency through-out the game (not giving Rovers a pen earlier for a handball by Corluka) - so no surprise when he ignored his assistants lack of flag waving and gave it. Not that I complained much.

There was more hilarity when Keane didn't quite place the whole of the ball on the white pen mark, which is fine, if you look at how most players take corners nowadays - placing the ball right on the edge is legal. One nil half-time. Job half done.

If only.

Second half saw us create more chances, none taken - but nothing overly decisive in the way of a killer killer pass. Nothing anywhere near ruthless. Gomes didn't have anything to do for 65 minutes or so. But the longer it went on, that horrid mist of ominousness began to cloud my confidence that all three points were safe.

Wilson, already on a yellow, got a second and his marching orders for basically pulling out of a tackle. He did not swing his leg, he pulled away to avoid committing the foul. But the ref decided it warranted a yellow and off he went. And you just knew that at 1-0 up and down to 10 men that things would go from bad to worse. It's the curse of mentioning 'Europe' one to many times in the past couple of weeks. That mist was now engulfing all hopes of sitting in that 7th spot, for a couple of hours at the very least.

And so, it went to shit. Rovers, galvanized pushed forward. We switched off and got sloppy. Gomes saved well from Warnock. But then cometh the 82 min, Rovers made it 1-1, and then 2-1 in the 89th.

Shocking stuff. Messy defending. Far too easy for Rovers. Final whistle, Diouf does his detestable best to rub it in. No Match of the Day for me.

I'll keep my final analysis simple.

First half was all good, just no second killer goal. Woody and King great at the back. Bent playing well. Lennon quiet but just doing enough to keep things ticking. Palacios involved, Modric not quite magical but effective. Second half, Lennon quieter. Palacios unlucky. Bent's positioning evaporated like a fleas wet fart in the Sahara desert. Still no second goal. Bad ref decision (to make up for the one that gave us a 1-0 lead). Team structure gets messy. Blackburn only have to get the ball into the box for our defenders to lose concentration where its needed. The End.

Blackburn are shit. Diouf and Allardyce. They make little attempt to play football. They are shit. We were not sharp or bang on form. But still possessed enough quality on the ball to win comfortably. We just didn't really have the application to do so. Disappointing as it is, and ironic that we could have gone 7th - but in the grand scheme of things, its a learning curve and a reminder that we have to be a certain bite to our play whether its against Chelsea or Rovers. The ref didn't help matters, but at the best of times, they don't tend to.

41 points is safety territory. It will have to wait another week.

Mark this one down to a footballing hangover. Learn from it, stuff West Ham next week.

I'll leave you with this gem from Allardyce:

"Doesn't matter how you win as long as you win"

There you have it people. It's not about playing football on the ground, pinging it around to feet, flowing pushing forward with style. It's just about winning. Touch.

Back to Reality.......3 points at Blackburn please

2009-04-03T10:34:00.007+01:00

I'm excited, are you excited? Premier League football is back and we don't have to wait as long as others thanks to Saturdays 12:45 kick-off. I'll be tucking into my breakfast around that time. Mug of tea in one hand and face stuffed with egg, bacon and toast. The good life. Andy Gray commentating would complete me.

I don't miss Blackburn away. Always found myself travelling up there by car, which as some of you may know is a hideously long journey. Especially for a 0-0. I'm a Sky Sports man tomorrow (it's part of the contract when selling your soul to the devil).

Palacios a main concern for the away trip, jet-lag being the likely reason if he's not present in the starting line-up. He played a part in Honduras 3-1 win over Mexico that saw the end of Sven. No team news just yet, so I can't confirm whether England International Darren Ashley Bent will be fit and available for selection.

Win this and any lingering concerns of relegation will be banished. I'll be shaking my booty in celebration. 41 points is safety territory. My hips don't lie. We can probably start to salivate at the possibility of a 7th spot finish. We've picked up points some cheeky points when not expected to do so. All I'm requesting from Harry and the players is to not lose any points where we are expected to pick them up. It's a test. One that needs passing.

Elsewhere, congratulations to Aaron Lennon for claiming the PFA player of the month award. Well deserved. Even if some of the lazy journalists who prioritise completing a match report in time for a deadline and base their analysis on generalisations and sound bites (rather than actually watching the game) don't quite rate his rate of improvement. At international level at least. I read one or two references to 'end-product' or lack of. Really? Sure, he has a habit of fizzing the ball when on occasions cutting back and playing it 'inside' would be preferable. But the boy done good against the Ukraine. When his team-mates decided to give him the ball. Criticism was best left for the ones who deserved it. Johnson and Cole come to mind.

Be afraid...be very afraid

Don't usually talk about other clubs, but everyone has an opinion on Newcastle United. Bit of a gutless move this by Shearer. An exercise in inflating ones ego. If Newcastle stay up, he'll be a hero and might well walk away from it (he's claiming he is there for 8 games only) as the inspired legend of the club saving them from the hellmouth of Championship football. If they do go down it wont be because of him. He'll have done his best and at least galvanised the crowd in the short term.

The Newcastle board should have appointed someone far earlier or Shearer should have stepped up after JK went into hospital. Or would that have meant far too many games for Shearer and the possibility of actually being responsible if his team were relegated?

Imagine Shearer on MotD next season having 'saved' Newcastle from the drop? The smugness will be unbearable. He'll be able to give us insight on other managers experiencing problems at their clubs, because 'he's been in the dressing room from the perspective of first team coach'.

That's why our priority this season should simply be this: Thrash Newcastle United at the Lane and save our Match of the Day as a consequence.

The Magnificent Moddle: The little man on the left

2009-04-02T15:30:00.008+01:00

Deconstructing the Tottenham midfield conundrum - Part VI

Magic Mullet

So here we are, at journeys end. Although it's more of a beginning than a conclusion as the Spurs midfield is bound to go through another change or two cometh the summer months and the usual giddy transfer shenanigans that we never seem to go without. No knee-jerking please Mr Levy.

From Part 1 through to Part V - I looked at the current set of central midfielders at the club and attempted to dissect the conundrum: Who should sit in the middle?

Palacios is the only 100% certainty. Jenas the current preferred choice alongside him. Which leaves Zokora, Huddlestone and O'Hara on the bench. Taarabt, on loan at Q.P.R., is a player who I would like to see ahead of all the three just mentioned in a creative capacity from next season.

So Palacios remains the anchor in midfield. The player tasked to do the dirty work, get the tackles in, protect the back four and allow other players the freedom of expression. He gives us some much needed breathing space and confidence in that other players don't have to worry too much if they happen to lose the ball in an offensive position as Wilson will be there to fix it. A defensive/holding midfielder is one that's been lacking for a while. Zokora simply doesn't excel in the acquired abilities needed to boss the midfield. Great athlete, limp footballing brain. Wilson does not have the passing range of a Carrick, but although both have similar responsibilities - both go about their business with completely different methods. In fact, they are nothing alike. But either system works. I will try to avoid going over old ground, so feel free to read up on the previous parts for a more detailed analysis on specific players and their attributes.

What has to be asked is who gets paired up with Wilson in central midfield? It's a simple answer to the final question of this series, but one with some minor complications. Here's why the conundrum isn't quite solved just yet:

We do not have an out-and-out left-winger.

We haven't had one for an age. Ironic that we've struggled to sign players for these two key positions (DM being the other) or simply got it wrong with the players we did sign. We've failed to find the right player for the left. And then we go out and buy a right player (David Bentley for £15M ) when we've already got Aaron Lennon - plain ridiculous - more so when Aaron retained his right-wing place and Bentley was slotted out on the left - which didn't help his already fragile confidence. Only Spurs, eh?

So with Wilson in the middle, with the players available, the best option (which Harry finds agreeable) is to have Jermaine Jenas partner him and play Luka Modric on the left.

I've not discussed Modric in detail yet during the course of this series. Best to leave the jewel of the crown till the end, and as we're at the end, here goes...

Modric, ideally, would prefer to play in the middle of the park with Palacios. It's a more natural position for him to be central. Add to the mix a defensive/offensive combination with Lennon out on the right and XXXXX (please God, not Downing) on the left and the balance would be unquestionable in comparison to some of the sides we've put out over the past couple of seasons. But as we do not have a left-winger, and we can't say for sure if we will be purchasing one (although if Boro go down, expect IT to happen) the logical option would be to have Modric out on the left-hand side. He is more than capable there.

What this does is change is the dynamic of the midfield in comparison to how it would work if Modric was in the middle of the park with Wilson - which is what most want to see. Having Jenas out on the left as an alternative? Hush. So the dynamics? Let me explain...

Palacios remains the anchor, but having Jenas in the middle gives us a player with an abundance of energy who can run box to box and defend and attack. It's almost a ying to a yang. One player inhales (Wilson) the other exhales (JJ). The role of Jenas is adaptable depending on the tempo of the game. In an ideal world its perfect, but we know that Jenas is erratic and lacks self-belief to turn potential to product. But for now - out of all the options we have for that position, its best to have JJ there.

The other options, you'd shrug at in a second.

Zokora in the middle with Palacios? That would be like having a litter-bug following a road-sweeper around.
Huddlestone? Wilson would need to clone himself to help compensate for Toms weaknesses.
O'Hara? Nope. Decent late sub for a couple of positions, but not an option alongside Wilson.

So, Jenas it is. Which means Modric - who isn't a natural left-winger - can (still) play on the left but with the twist of drifting in and dictating play. Jenas, adapting to the game at hand, will work with Palacios to make sure the midfield is protected and the opposition hassled while Modric drifts in and does what he does best. Play incisive balls, create and orchestrate. At times this requires JJ to be instinctive in his responsibility for the team. Allow me to place my fantasy-hat on my head. Now, take JJ out of the equation and imagine Essien alongside Palacios. Or Gerrard. Imagine the difference and impact this would have? Fantasy-hat off, the reality is somewhat rooted to the ground rather than floating up in the sky. JJ is neither one or the other but on form, he has enough about him to cover the ground and participate rather than be a passenger. He has a chance to really shine now, before the summer arrives and decisions are made. For now he is the best player we have who can support Wilson in the current midfield set-up.

What does this mean for the team, and in particular Luka? In essence, Palacios and Jenas are there to make sure Modric has the freedom to play football. It's a pretty simplistic viewpoint I know. A generalisation based on the fact that Luka is out on the left and has far too much talent to be stuck there - and the emphasis has to be to get the little Croatian involved as much as possible, on his terms. If the middle two do their job well, then it will snow rainbows. If it doesn't, expect a heavy downpour of misery. Which is why Jenas is perceived as the weak link. Stronger player, and we wouldn't worry so much,

If Jenas excels, maybe we won't look to change the system and purchase a left-winger. Maybe drifting in from the left will suit Luka in the long run. But its doubtful. The little man can handle himself just fine so sitting in the middle of the park and getting stuck in won't be too much of an issue for him. He took time to adjust to the English game, not helped by our woeful form and lack of structure. And he'll improve further in a consistent winning side (something Harry has began to flirt with in recent games). A base of operations is far more prominent from the centre than out on the wing. Although it's in no way a disadvantage. It's not quite a free-role in the purest sense of the term, but it's tricky for the opposition to mark a player who darts and dinks inwards.

Modric is showing glimpses of form that warms the cockles. A little bit of Ossie, a little bit of Hoddle. In truth its just a little bit of flair and creative output we love down at the Lane. It's an imperative ingredient for any team that displays comfort when unlocking the oppositions defence. Luka has a skeleton key.

Berbatov gave us that something special before he moved to pastures new to look after orphaned squirrels, and Keane can provide sparks - but we have needed a constant pipeline of passing for some time and in Luka we have that. Whether its down the middle or on the left-hand side - he can provide the magic.

Luka has vision, great touch, superb passing ability and can score the odd goal (not enough, but I expect him to hit the back of the net more often from next season). All the 'he's too weak for the Prem' nonsense was exactly that. He has fight in him. Might not look like he does, but he does.

Obviously the problem we might have is when Modric or Palacios or the both of them do not play. Which is why it's important that Adel Taarabt's development is made a priority. Harry called him a genius, and I'm holding out he was talking about football and not a reference to comedy. Zokora and O'Hara will have to do in any possible absence of Wilson from the starting line-up. Bostock is a couple of seasons away from the first team (at a guess).

So as things stand - Wilson and Luka are dead certs for the starting eleven. Jenas third in line. Three 'central' midfielders then. And Lennon guaranteed the freedom of the right-side of midfield (where this leaves Bentley, other than sitting on the bench, is up for debate).

The Fab Four. Modric Palacios Jenas Lennon.

Might seem unbalanced but its far from being so. It's not perfect, but it works. It works because the players play for each other. Everyone has a responsibility. It's a unit.

What happens next is dependent on who slaps in a transfer request in the summer and what we do to replace them? We have some useful kids in the academy and reserves. Do some of them get promoted early? Or do we look for more experienced players to come in to play back-up? We'd need to, if say Huddlestone and Zokora go. Jenas might walk if we draft in another central midfielder. And if that happens, then Luka and leftism will have to rule supreme.

Whatever Harry decides it has to be strategic, tactical. It has to either provide depth to the squad or improve the midfield. We have a tradition of just buying players without a thought-process behind what that player will do to the equilibrium of the side. Just to reiterate, the only two positions that should be considered for evaluation is where Modric and Jenas play.

Either both stay where they are and we sign squad players or we shift Modric into the middle and purchase ourselves a left-winger. Or we keep Luka on the left and buy us a more complete and established all-round central midfielder to partner Palacios.

So the conundrum has evolved a little, but remains with us. The question that now requires answering is simply.............Do we need a left-winger?

The Magnificent Seven - Part I

The Curious Case of Jermaine Jenas - Part II

The Incredible Huddlestone - Part III

Palacios answers the question: "Yes he can" - Part IV

The Lilywhites on the outside looking in - Part V

The 'New White Hart Lane' - Looking good on paper

2009-04-01T12:10:00.018+01:00

The club have released more progress updates on the re-development plans for the new stadium. So far there is little to be critical of. Yeah, yeah....you heard me right. I guess this is as close as a pat on the back (that's just a single pat of hand to back) I will get to giving our esteemed chairman. Please do not take this as a form of weakness from myself. I'll still be greeting him with a water balloon, as per usual every Monday morning as he drives into work. No reason in either of us getting slack.

Snazzy

There's perhaps one or two minor design quirks (what's with the wavy upper tier?) and no apparent news of whether the Cockerel on the ball will re-appear on the new east stand but all otherwise looks good (isn't this also a good time to think about a statue for Sir Bill Nicholson?).

The general re-generation potential for the local vicinity will also go down a storm. Upmarket Tottenham, eh?

Here's a quick look through some of the updates below:

58,237 capacity - Wonderful. And with a possible 45k+ being made up of season ticket holders (meaning less of the corporate ilk), the new stadium will have no excuse to ever be on the quiet side.

Fans being kept together to retain the 'camaraderie which has built up over the years' - This is a simplistic master-stroke. One of the most important ingredients and vital to retain the current atmosphere WHL is capable of. Have to say, of all the things announced by the club, this one makes me smile the most. Evidence that the club actually listens to the fans.

Stadium 'bowl' tightened to maximise atmosphere (8.2m from the pitch) - Compared to Arsenal, City and Wembley we'll be far closer than the three of them to the pitch. Not as close as we are now, but close enough. Which is a nice touch.

Re-location of the away fans - Interesting this, as the away supporters will be moved from the South-West corner where they preside now to the North-East corner of the new stadium which means the new North stand (or new Paxton if you want) will be, in-effect, the new Park Lane - as long as they move the Park Lane residents to the new North stand. That would make the new South stand a family designated area (as having them sat next to the away fans would not make sense). You dig?

New public square on Tottenham High Road - Nice touch. Can imagine a sing-a-long or two occurring here.

New supermarket with parking - Guess the locals will like this one, and might even mean an improved pre-match diet for me personally.

Only concerns are the travel aspects where several 'hoped' improvements are subject to 'discussions'.

Check this for more info:

PDF Guide from Tottenhamhotspur.com

Or just visit the official site.

Supernova Darren Bent

2009-03-31T11:47:00.011+01:00

There are many unexplained things in the universe. Many of which are beyond the realms of human understanding. We simply do not have the capacity, for example, to understand the concept of what existed before time itself. Not that time exists anyway, as it’s simply a measurement we use to govern the passage of existence from our own perspective. If there was a big bang, what existed (using the concept of time) a second before it happened? Or an hour before? Does one universe expand infinitely forever or does it eventually collapse in on itself and implode, then explode…creating a big bang and the birth of a new universe? Are we the first universe of its kind or are we the result of the millionth big bang? Was there ever a definitive beginning? If there was, then how can the nothingness that existed beforehand be defined?

These unanswered questions do not stop us from completing our mundane schedule of sleep, work, eat, relax, sleep, eat, procreate, sleep, work.....and so on. And by the time human life exhausts itself from existence, the universe probably won’t even know we existed in the first place. We are pretty insignificant - one planet in a universe of billions upon billions of galaxies.

It’s quite probable that there are other planets out there that have allowed for life to evolve. And their version of life may be incomprehensible in comparison to ours in about 1000 different ways - like the mixture of chemicals on their own planet, their conception of time and their rate of evolutionary progression. Billions and billions of planets. Billions of societies. Billions of lives being lived.

And yet out of all the billions in the universe, Planet Earth is the one that manages to birth Darren Ashley Bent. The one and same Bent replacing the injured Carlton Cole in the England squad for this Wednesdays World Cup qualifier against the Ukraine. A cosmic event equivalent to a rock the size of a penny disintegrating in the earth’s atmosphere.

There are probably a billion Darren Bents plotted around the vast expanding space above us (I'm basing that on the assumption that alien planets play competitive sports). Some might even possess an abundance more all-round ability to their game that just having a knack of being in the right place at the right time to witness a ball bounce of a shin and into the net.

But more than likely, they are not too dis-similar to the version we have on this planet.

A lucky star.

Darren - fingers crossed for Wednesday. I hope you come off the bench and score with your bum.

Bent - a-ah - saviour of the universe
Bent - a-ah - he'll save everyone of us
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Bent - a-ah - he's a miracle
Bent - a-ah - king of the impossible

Lost in translation: Upson wants to be King?

2009-03-30T14:05:00.008+01:00

Ledley gets selected for England. Harry has a fit. Fabio explains he wanted to see King for himself within the England set-up. King arrives. King leaves. Harry has another twitch aimed towards Fabio, who cites the Hutton injury issues to call Harry a hypocrite. Words still exchanged via exaggerated tabloid articles, including the possiblity of King perhaps being selected for England in the future. In what type of capacity, who knows.

It then all went quiet for about 20 seconds, and Matthew Upson decided that his opinion on the subject was so important, he shared it with us. Not Rio. Or Terry. But Upson. Here's the quote:

“The Ledley King situation is difficult as he is a fantastic player and everybody sees his performances. It is amazing how he can perform at that level without training.

But when you come here with England, there is a big emphasis on the training. We turn up on Monday and the training is intense, full-on. You have to recover in the afternoons because we do that all week. It would be difficult to excuse a player from training and then play him in the team. That would not fit in with the culture of the squad"

Hilarious. What culture of the squad is Upson refering to exactly? The one that sees us losing penalty shoot-outs or the one that sees players who shine for their club but fail to do so for their country when it really matters? King can handle himself just fine, whether it's rolling out of Faces nightclub or sticking Drogba in his pocket for 90 minutes - he can out perform most even if his knee is held together by blue-tac. Whether he trains or not is neither here or there. Except that it probably does mean playing for England is a broken dream. Yet, Upson still felt the need to railroad our Ledley via the red tops. Such is the concern of the young lad that he'll fall even further behind in the pecking order.

Culture of the squad, it appears, is to look after ones own agenda.

Jamie, Adel and John: The Lilywhites on the outside looking in

2009-03-30T11:50:00.001+01:00

Deconstructing the Tottenham midfield conundrum - Part V

The Outsiders

Palacios. Modric. Jenas. Zokora. Huddlestone. Taarabt. O’Hara. Seven players. One massive conundrum. At least, that’s how it all started out back in Part I of this series. I’ve not touched on the worth of Adel and Jamie just yet (will do in a sec), but arguably thus far, only Palacios and Modric….and at a push (one that has Spurs fans split) Jenas are forming the basis of the new-look Spurs midfield. More on this in Part VI (the concluding article). Decided to extend this series by one rather than fit it all in this blog entry.

So for now, the backups.

Jamie O’Hara. Adel Taarabt. And John Bostock (which makes it eight in total, but whoever heard of the Magnificent Eight?). All three players sit in very different categories with regards to first team selection.

O’Hara is a first team player, if not a first choice player.

Bostock is a youth player and looks a real talent, but won’t arrive in the first team for another season or two. Depends on how his development progresses and whether Harry opts for yoof in the Carling Cup games next season. Reality is - he's not a backup player to the first team. Not yet. But One for the Future©.

Taarabt is an enigma. In the sense that some rate him others don’t. Clever feet, clever brain, not so clever decision making – but that’s not a negative. It's a learning curve. Going on loan to Q.P.R. is the best thing for him at the moment. Starting games is vital, and that’s something that was not happening for him at Spurs. It’s one thing show-boating in the reserves, another performing in the Championship. A competitive hard-working league is the best place for him to adapt his silky skills into a more realistic environment, so his understanding of when the basics are more important than the flicks gets programmed into his creative head.

Time for a closer look at the thrilling threesome...

O’Hara, an ex-Arsenal youth player, but one who would wear a Lilywhite shirt under the red and white of the South London club when playing for their youth team before making the short journey across their swamps to the bright lights of White Hart Lane. There is absolutely no doubting Jamie’s passion for the club. He’s a fan. If I was Premiership class (I'd play behind the front-two in a free-role creative play-making capacity...obviously) and you stuck me in the Spurs team, you’d love my intensity and spirit and commitment. I’d give it 110% and some. Jamie has that level of urgency in his play. What he doesn’t have is the polished all-round abilities to match his heart, that would surely make him a first-choice regular.

"Did ya just pinch me bum?"

If you take a look at successful sides, most of the players never supported or support the team they are representing. It’s not a necessity. It would be nice to have that (love for the club) in every single one of our players – if we did, we’d have accumulated more than 2 points from the opening 8 games. But players should have instilled in them the right amount of graft as a given. They are professionals on a ton of money, they should never get anything less than 100%.

Fantasty football, yeah?

Jamie would probably give 110% no matter the club he played for because that’s him. He gets himself about a bit on the pitch, flying tackles and the like. He’s high tempo. But is he high class? Nope. We love him because....well, because he loves Spurs. But he’ll only ever be a decent squad player – a backup. Someone to come on in the final 20 minutes or perhaps start a Cup match to lower league opposition. I’m not sure he’ll progress any further. Hope I’m wrong. So I’m not stating anything amazingly insightful here. Possessing intensity, spirit and commitment is great, but doesn't account for much if you don't excel in other areas of your game.

Taarabt is Marmite. You love him or ....you know, but why anyone would hate him is beyond me. Have we become so impatient? Isn't Adel the quintessential Tottenham player? Ok, so he plays like a flash thirteen year old in a playground, ball stuck to his feet, trying to dribble it past everyone twice. If Adel was around when we sat up in 4th spot in that giddy season, he’d have made an impact. Much like he did against Utd earlier this season when Modric oh so nearly scored. It was Adel who started the move with those clever little feet.

'Potentially' World class....right?

But in other cameos he has frustrated the home support or just made us laugh out loud with his audacity and his naivety. But he doesn’t lack ability. Or self-belief. He has it in abundance. Storming performance for Morocco a month or so back on his debut. And not too shabby for Q.P.R. so far. He’s also stated he wants to return to Spurs and fight for a place. It’s difficult to know whether he will always just be the flash kid in the playground, a combination of Timothee Atouba (you’re perpetually worried he’s about to lose the ball) and Zidane (he thinks, we wish).

Next season, when back at Spurs, Harry should have him on the bench and start him when it’s safe to do so. He has to play games in the Prem for his raw potential to be tested, which means he should train with the first team squad and our coaches make sure that he matures and improves his decision making and composure. Shining at QPR will do him no harm at all.

The problem I have is that at other clubs, you see players touted as potentially world-class and they make their first team debuts early and shine and continue to do so - and prove they are on the road to possible greatness. We have had so many false dawns with much hyped players. And some are always stuck in limbo, never quite making it beyond the bench. If he is good enough, he should play. At the moment he isn't because of one or two immature traits. Iron them out, and we might just have a brilliant player on our hands. One that can change the game with a blink of an eye and a dink of the foot.

As for Bostock. It’s too early to make any assumptions – and to be honest, I’ve not seen enough of him. What I have seen, he’s been impressive and his UEFA Cup appearance (at the age of 16 years 295 days, the youngest ever Spurs player) this season showed that he was worth the battle with Palace to claim his signature. He's composed, refined and confident. An England U-17 captain and definitely not a player who will disappear into obscurity. He looks the part. Absolutely no need to rush him. Or is there?

To break into the first team at the age of 16/17 you have to be something extraordinary. Arsenal (Cesc) and Everton (Rooney) both stuck their young prodigy's into first team football early. For all the hype, we never do. Arguably you could state that Fabregas wasn't rushed. He was ready for it, such is the ability of the spitting Spaniard.

Show us your dance moves

Again, responsibility falls to Spurs, but in the academy and in Alex Inglethorpe – I have faith. Our youngsters have claimed a few tournament successes over the past year and have fared very well in the ones they haven’t won. We do - hype aside - have proven quality at this level. Yes, I know, that doesn't mean they will all make the grade. But we've been pretty starved of academy promotions in recent years (I know Bostock came from Palace, but you get where I'm coming from - remember Owen Price and Michael Malcolm?).

Like most kids, once they start to make reserve appearances and knock on the first team door – you can only hope Spurs are in a decent position in the league and strong enough to allow for the young one to make comfortable appearances in the Prem. Asking a young player to perform in a struggling side can be soul destroying (Bale, Gio). A blossoming team is safer ground for promotion. Which is why Bostock hasn't played a bigger part this season.

So.

O’Hara – Decent squad player, but not of a standard that would have Palacios sweating any time soon.
Taarabt – Young, ambitious, talented – but still naive and made up of raw potential. Has to play a part next season ‘at’ Spurs, off the bench and in the CC games.
Bostock – Ask again in one year, but we might see more of him in CC games next season (possibly along with Dean Parratt) – but still a few seasons off from first team football.

I know I’ve spoken about Huddlestone already back in Part III, but he deserves to be mentioned again. Last week he tapped himself up by suggesting he might need to look elsewhere for first team football. Newcastle were linked with him over the weekend in the tabloids (although why anyone would want to go there...) although that’s probably just a journo making stuff up just to fill the page.

Hudd performed well for the U-21’s – he usually does. He controlled the midfield in his usual nonchalant manner, which does get mistaken for looking a little on the lazy side. He played the ball well offensively and got stuck in defensively, winning a few tackles. And he scored and got to wear the captain’s armband for the second half. A confident all round performance then:

Huddlestone, and his accurate precise passing range, saviour of young England.

So why do we not rate him again? Oh yeah. He’s too slow.

Unless the entire midfield is built around him, and aids in compensating his lack of mobility – then maybe a transfer away is the only conclusion to this Tottenham midfield question. He has the technical ability but it’s not enough, and his weakness are too apparent for him to stand all on his own. Works in the U-21s. Might even work if he played his football abroad. But not over here where football is 1000mph. He needs protection.

So can he stand up and be a man? That's down to him. Not sure you can quite learn that on a training pitch.

Tom is a superb passer of the ball can hit a sweet volley. But whether it’s the lack of that much maligned mobility (of if you prefer to criticise him as being too casual with no fire in his belly and killer instinct) it’s apparent that he is lopsided when counting his positives and negatives. If you can’t move you get side-stepped. If you get side-stepped you become nothing more than a passenger. Compare him to other players of his ilk who start Prem games and you get to see the gulf in difference.

Personally, I don’t think Hudd is ‘too casual’. It's just a fallacy. He has an unflappable quality about him. Hoddle was always cited as being too casual, but what a player – not just with his passing or getting the tackles in (which he did more than people give him credit for) but his effort/application was unquestionable. That’s the crux of it with Tom. And it's why the question about 'standing up' to it is still left unanswered.

Whether you are casual or 110% in the way you play – you can get the same job done as long and the application is there. Is Huddlestone showing enough that suggests his effort can improve? It’s also a fallacy to suggest his build stops him from achieving acceptable lateral movement to keep him competitive in games. He shed a load of weight, he got himself into great shape. So unless he requires specific training for mobility – I can’t see what else he can do about it. If you don’t have the application, you’ll stagnate.

It's quite possible the problem is not in his gut, but in his head.

Huddlestone is at that cross-roads. I want him to be a success, but he’s nothing more than backup at the moment. And that might well result in him being someone else's conundrum next season.

In the concluding Part (VI) of this series - the (not so) Magnificent Seven become the Fabulous Four, led by a certain magical Croatian...

The Magnificent Seven - Part I

The Curious Case of Jermaine Jenas - Part II

The Incredible Huddlestone - Part III

Palacios answers the question: "Yes he can" - Part IV

Things to get you through a weekend without Tottenham

2009-03-27T10:53:00.004Z

Does the International break bore you?

England are playing this weekend. Am I the only person who finds it all a bit of a bore when there are no Tottenham games to go to or watch on TV? Don't get me wrong, I'm as patriotic as the next fan...but only for qualifying games and tournaments (when we actually manage to get there).

Friendlies never get my juices flowing. If I can't shout, scream and generally have my emotions soar, dip and ripped apart then it's not really football. Something needs to be at risk. And I don't find pride is when its just a warm-up match. Even if it's in preparation for an important game (next Wednesday) against the Ukraine. Saturday's (against Slovakia) still a friendly. A glorified training session.

Yes I know, Aaron Lennon might play, and if he does well he might (just might) make an appearance next week. Although if you take a quick look at the Beckham feature article on the BBC site you'll note that he has every chance (Becks that is) of playing as Walcott and SWP are not in the squad.

Cough? Forgotten someone perhaps?

And with the debate about whether King should have or should not have been called up by Fabio dragging on and on (you honestly think 'arry isn't going to talk about it some more?), I can't help but look ahead to our next Prem game against Blackburn. Proper bread and butter football.

I don't have Setanta at home and the local pub that shows live games is usually full of West Ham fans who will no doubt be out in numbers carrying around replicas of the Jules Rimet and banging on about '66 and celebrating in the streets that they invented modern day football.

I'd rather avoid it all tbh. But will definitely make the effort for the Ukraine game. For sure.

So to get me through Saturday, I've devised a list of potential activities to help me avoid the overwhelming boredom that would otherwise consume me. Feel free to suggest your own.

1) Work out the points accumulated in the opening eight games under Ramos and then calculate the points accumulated by Harry Redknapp from the time of his appointment till the present day and based on Harry's points to games ratio, work out where we would be had he been manager at the start of the season. Then device a What If Premier League table that will have us within touching distance of a Champions League place and then work out whether we can claim 4th spot based on our remaining fixtures and who we would need to buy in the summer to help consolidate the challenge domestically and in Europe. Then post all my findings and analysis on a Tottenham message board and watch it grow to 100 pages in a day with around 3000 replies. Just for kicks.

2) Throw eggs at the home of the person who wears the current Chirpy mascot outfit at home games. WE DON'T LIKE YOU. DO YOU UNDERSTAND? I want the original Chirpy back. The one that doesn't look he's possessed by a demon with a smug Adam Sandler complex.

3) Watch my Sky+ recording of the Arsenal v Spurs 4-4, replaying the final 10 minutes several times to catch the various reactions of the Spurs players and the fans - specifically at the point before and after Lennon equalizes. Then using my TV capture card, create a montage video of the glorious evening with Tina Turners 'Simply the Best' as the soundtrack. Then upload to Facebook and Youtube and then update Twitter every 5 minutes, linking to the video, and posting inane hilarity about how busy the London Underground was this morning and what I had for lunch.

4) Begin legal proceedings to sue West Ham United. The other day I had what I can only assume was a very dodgy lasagna which blatantly gave me the runs and a chronic gut. This resulted in a Vietnamesque flashback in a packed shopping centre - ala Sgt. Elias - falling to my knees, hands aloft, screaming in agony at the returning realisation of how close we came to a dream qualification into the elite of European football. A dream destroyed by a Benayoun top corner finish.

As nobody was ever charged or held accountable for poisoning the Spurs team, and as West Ham were the opposition that day and inflicted the defeat on a side ravaged by ill health, they remain the only ones responsible for my emotional upheaval that resurfaced in such an undignified and public way.

I'm after a reasonable pay-out. Equivalent to what Spurs lost in Champions League revenue. That should cover the trauma and rehabilitation.

5) Walk up to random strangers and state '2 points, 8 games'. The message must be spread to the non-believers.

6) Go round my parents for lunch and refuse to sit down on the sofa. If my dad manages to talk me into sitting down because I'm making everyone feel uncomfortable, I will do so. Then wait until he walks away, then stand up and burst into song: 'Stand up if you love mums cooking, stand up......'.

7) Travel up to Manchester, sneak into Dimitar Berbatov's back garden and then use my state-of-the-art tranquilizer gun to shoot all the squirrels in the vicinity. Who you gonna feed now, Berba? Hey? Who you gonna feed now?

8) Watch my Sky+ recording of the Spurs v Chelsea 1-0. Then using my TV capture card, create a montage video of Modric and his performance, to the music of 'Diamond Lights'. In addition, morph highlights of Moddle into highlights of Hoddle, subtly suggesting that Modric is the new King of the Lane. Then upload to Facebook and Youtube and then update Twitter every 5 minutes to make sure people are fully aware that I'm 'online', either sat in front of a pc or texting updates via my mobile phone.

9) Search through all Bit Torrent sites and Newsgroups for a soft copy version of the Tottenham Hotspur Opus. Come on! Surely someone must have scanned this and uploaded it to the internet? You can find practically anything on-line. Whether it's DC or Marvel comics, books, novels, screenplays, about a million PDF's and random user-guides, every piece of software, music, pornography and movie you can possibly imagine......but no bleeding Opus? Further proof that nobody has actually bought a copy, because if let's say 10 people purchased one, at least one of them would have shared this with the www. It's 2009 ffs. People don't even bother buying Playboy anymore, they just wait for some else to scan and upload it. So I'm told.

10) Stand near the living room window, and pretend I've got Setanta by booing every few minutes. People walking past will assume Ashley Cole is playing shit. And this will bring much joy to the world.

Palacios answers the question: 'Yes he can'

2009-03-25T14:47:00.003Z

Deconstructing the Tottenham midfield conundrum - Part IV

The Panther Strikes

When Spurs signed Wilson Palacios, some people scoffed at the transfer fee. There’s no doubt it’s extortionate considering he spent time on loan in Birmingham’s reserve team having been bought for a million or so by Wigan and then sold for £12M - £14M not long after. But when we spend on average £12M - £16M on must-have players that turn out to be fluff from a belly-button rather than a tail from a scorpion, when a player does have sting, you don’t much care about the cost involved.

Fingers still pointed towards us with the suggestion that Wilson is yet another in-form player Spurs have signed on a knee-jerk reaction. Then he dominated Arsenals midfield in the NLD and any doubters shut their mouths and moved back into the shadows.

Wilson Palacios is nothing like Michael Carrick or Didier Zokora or Jermaine Jenas. There’s a bit of Davids in there with regards to intensity. There’s a bit of a lot of what’s been missing from our midfield.

He grafts, he gets the tackles in and hassles and bullies the opposition giving them little time to stick their foot on the ball and dictate play. He also knows when and where to commit fouls. Naughty but necessary at times when our backs are up against it. What type of midfielder is he? Why is it so important to tag him with a label? He’s a panther not a pussycat. That’s all that should matter.

Too many times we are left wanting in the centre of the park. Jenas is maligned because he runs forward with the ball and loses it and suddenly we are under pressure at the other end of the park. But it’s usually because the opposition stroll down the middle with impunity. Having Palacios – a player of his ilk – anchored in the area between defence and attack, waiting to pounce, gives balance and structure to the side. Which breeds confidence. Never happened with Zokora in the middle because he isn’t of the same assured standard. As discussed in Part I, Didier lacks discipline and a footballing brain. Wilson marshals his area which allows the likes of Modric to express himself creatively in the full knowledge that if the ball is lost, they still have to get through Wilson.

His best performance for us thus far was against Arsenal and also arguably against Chelsea's might (Ballack, Essien, Lampard). His distribution is not perfect by a long-shot. But his reliability is. And he’ll get better as the team improves. It’s simplicity really. He knows what his responsibility is and he does exactly what he has to do. Modric isn’t the only one to blossom. Jenas also looks better for it. There is absolutely no doubt that the money spent on him was worth it. We’ve actually signed a player that we required to help remove the deficiencies of the side.

As mentioned, he is not a Carrick type of player. But times have changed and our creative outlet comes from Luka and at the moment that’s from the left-hand side which means Jenas role is one of ambiguity as he can support Wilson in midfield and also make the most of his box-to-box traits by supporting both Luka and the forwards. For the first time this season, there is actual fluidity through the team as you’ll see Robbie Keane drop deep if need be to support the midfield and link-up play.

Players playing for each other. Its still early days still. And it's obvious the evolution has only just began. We've stuck our heads out from beneath the water and crawled out of the ocean and onto the beach.

Palacios in the middle and Lennon on the right are the only certainties (IMO), which means the midfield is yet to be set in stone. Modric, out on the left, might find himself central alongside Wilson – with a new left-winger (Downing?) taking over on the wing. Personally I’d stay clear of Downing. He’s a decent enough player but faith has to be placed on Gareth Bale who I think might have a future on the left side of midfield. It’s a risk, but no bigger than signing Stewart Downing. We’ve been burnt by the Bentley signing, and just don’t see how the Boro boy is worth the same amount of money, considering Bentley is only worth half of the price tag we paid for him (and he still hasn’t repaid a quarter of it out on the pitch).

Bentley can’t beat a man, neither can Downing. Their strengths are in their ability to cross a ball, and land it on the foot or head of a forward. But Downing is not that good (he's not right?) to warrant a massive fee and the usual dollop of over-whelming pressure that goes hand-in-hand with signing for Spurs. Bentley’s problems are more in his head than his feet at the moment, and although some would like to see him sold on, he should be given the chance next season to prove his worth. £16M for a bench-warmer (if that's as good as it gets for him) is oh so typical of us, and if that ends up being the case, then we may as well sell him. If he rediscovers his form then we have a player who can cross the ball. The problem is, if Lennon is fit, David won’t get near the team. But this is altogether another discussion for another article.

If Modric stays slotted into the left-hand side with the freedom to drift in-wards, then that means a possible target in the summer will be another brand spanking new central midfielder. If Modric and Lennon are the creative sparks then signing another imposing DM might be the answer. Again, I say ‘DM’ in the broadest sense. There are players who can tackle and play-make. Having someone alongside Wilson who is as strong mentally and physically, but with the added bonus of possessing a decent passing range, then we’ll be laughing.

Or maybe a Carrickesque type player who can provide defensive support, but also Hoddlesque passes. Palacios and Carrick, hmm. Try it out in FM2009 and let me know how it works out. I guess this would be a good time to mention the name of Huddlestone again. Shame oh shame the mobility is lacking for Tom.

So am I asking for the moon on a stick with regards to having two big, strong central midfield players bossing the centre-mid? Yes. Yes I am. Two brick walls are better than one. By having a midfield that's hard to break down and one that can own that part of the pitch is the basis for dominating matches.

That will mean that Zokora, Huddlestone and O’Hara will be nervously waiting on whether they have a future or not. Adel and Bostock are both potentially future first-teamers – so it’s obvious that another signing would open the exit door for two players at the very least.

In Part V I’ll look at the young pretenders to the midfield conundrum and a concluding analysis on who should play where and who needs to go.

What is certain is that Wilson Palacios is one of the pieces of the jigsaw. The piece right in the middle.

Deconstructing the Tottenham midfield conundrum - Part I

Deconstructing the Tottenham midfield conundrum - Part II

Deconstructing the Tottenham midfield conundrum - Part III

Ledley crowned King of England.....long live the King?

2009-03-24T13:15:00.025Z

Tuesday afternoon round-up of the past weeks highlights.

Spiffing weekend with the win against Chelsea. Feet firmly back on the ground, right? I say that because even I got a little giddy with our victory. It amuses me that the tables have turned a little in our advantage. The little club from West London, with history you can trace back a couple of years, don't much fancy playing us. Suddenly we are flirting with the possibility of Europe, which appears to be winking in our direction and playfully lifting her skirt up, teasing us with her continental cheek. This has got some Spurs fans trembling at the knees with excitement. And this is the exact reason why other fans hate us. Far too emotional for our own good. A month or so back, relegation was still a word people shared in worried conversations, scared to ask where the next three points might come from. A week in football is a long time blah blah blah.

It's great that the players have finally settled and we are playing with confidence. And it's equally great that such is the non-event in the way of difference between a team just above the bottom three and one just below 7th spot in the table, that we can go from relegation fodder to potential Europa glory in the space of two games. No point on dwelling on what could have been had we picked up more points in the opening eight games (refer to Harry Redknapp for further analysis on this). I'm happy with anything above 10th. And if we did qualify for the soon to be revised version of the UEFA Cup, I don't believe it would be a distraction to getting it right in the Prem (which should be the overwhelming priority next season). Sure, we can kiss goodbye again to Saturday 3pm kick-offs, but considering how weak the opposition teams appear to be in the early rounds of the competition, we could use it to blood some youth players and reserves. Never say no to Europe. Time they gave the competition an extra twist. Winners qualify for the Champions League. Considering there are more runners-up and 3rd, 4th placed teams than actual champions, I don't see what harm it would. Apart from making the rich richer.

Still unbeaten against the Sky Sports Top 4 this season in the Prem. Only defeats (overall) coming in both Cups against Man Utd. Villa (who spent some time in 4th place) also beat us at the Lane. Strange old season. All that's left is for Robbie Keane to score a last minute winner in front of the Kop on the final day of the season, handing Man Utd the title. Can he play in that game? Someone mentioned how the FA will not allow it due to 'conflicting interest' (being the fact that he can pick up a winners medal due to appearance made for Liverpool, if the Reds win the league). Cant believe he would be interested in doing so considering his experience up there.

Aaron Lennon has signed an extension. I touched on this briefly in the match review for the Chelsea game. The fact he has signed on for a further two years and has stated he is happy at the club means exactly that, and there is no conceivable way for him to leave the club this summer, regardless of any possible £20M bids from Rafa or anyone else. From a business sense, it's obvious that the extension means if the player is sold then we can get more money for him. From a football perspective, he has extended his contract which means he does not want to leave the club. Which means that the club must laugh in the direction of anyone who comes knocking. There is no Robbie Keane or Michael Carrick reasoning on Aaron being sold this summer or the next. Memo to Levy. The door isn't just closed. It's double locked.

Same applies with Modric.

Congrats also to Aaron on his England call-up. Well deserved. Sparkling form, the type that makes him undroppable for Spurs. The more he develops the more unplayable he'll be for the opposition. Good news for us. Good news for the 3 Lions.

Talking of business sense, we've announced record figures for the six months ending on the 31st December 2008 (so that doesn't include the outgoings in the Jan transfer window). Levy via the official site:

"In a period of global economic recession this is a considerable achievement and we acknowledge that both the strength of our business and the fantastic loyalty shown by our supporters have helped ensure that these results have not been materially affected. We have benefited from having a robust business that is well financed and has continued to be able to support investment in the first team."

Yes, all very good. Well done. But this doesn't exactly turn me on. It's grand that in these days of debt-ridden football clubs we are in very healthy nick. We'd be even richer if we didn't spunk our money on players with inflated transfer values. So arguably, as strong as we are off it, we haven't been equally strong on it. But that has more to do with the people employed by Levy than it has to do with him directly, although he is still responsible. I'm not attempting to dig for the sake of it, but considering how much the club charges for tickets, it's no bleeding surprise we're so strong financially. We have a loyal fan base and regardless of the recession the country is going through, we don't appear to be turning our backs on the club as fans. So as long as the new stadium plans push ahead and we double our capacity, we'll be even richer. Which means even more money to spend (waste) on players we don't need. I guess my point is, when you are running a club like Spurs there is no excuse for running it into the ground.

What Scholar did was criminal, and what happened at Leeds, laughable. My criticism of Levy has always been the way he appears to confuse business decisions with ones of a footballing nature. Decent figures for sure, that won't look as bright when you subtract the transfer deals and the money spent on other ventures that will benefit the club in the long run (i.e the training ground facility). Merchandising is also down (I guess the irony in buying a Spurs mug is too much for some in the current climate) leaving Sky TV revenue and season ticket sales the only constant any club can rely on.

Consistenty ON the pitch is now required, so all the smart accountancy can support the only real progression fans care about.

Nice to see Adel and Gio doing well at their respective clubs (on loan) in the Championship. Adel, notching a winning goal for QPR over the weekend, is getting rave reviews for his quick feet and clever play. Has to be part of our squad for next season. Gio is also a player that the club should hold onto. If anything because getting rid of him before he has had the chance to prove himself at Spurs in the Prem is harsh. But when you compare Adel's comments about wanting to return to Spurs to prove himself to Gio's who is far more ambiguous in where his future lies - you wonder if a decision has already been made on the latters future.

Hutton is on the way back. Looked good in his warm-up, which took place outside a pub with his dad.

King for England? Harry is furious. I can understand why. On paper you'd have to be concerned as a Spurs fan if King plays a part for England on the pitch. It would probably mean he can't play for Spurs the following week. Not sure what Capello wants out of this. If he took King to a major tournament, would he be there to cover? And if he did, it would still be a case of waiting for his knee to lose the swelling. Maybe I'm biased, but why Woodgate isn't in the squad as an alternative to Terry and Ferdinand is a complete mystery to me. As for King, if it wasn't for his dodgy knee he'd be number one choice. Brilliant player who deserves an international career, but will never have one of any real substance. Personally, I think having him part of the England squad is nice recognition to what he has achieved as a player who has 'retired' from full training. But if there is a chance he will play, Ledders will have to consider the risks. Spurs has to be his priority. Being his bread and butter. Which is probably the reason Harry is a little pissed off.

But alas, it's over before it's began and King is back at Spurs to continue his 'individual training programme'. So he won't be taking part in the friendly on Saturday. And will probably never be called up again. What England's medical staff and Fabio thought they could do with the lad is anyones guess considering how well known his problems with fitness are.

England can live without him. We can't.

Caption Competition: Spurs v Chelsea

2009-03-22T19:30:00.002Z

"Hey Didier, thought you should know, the game ended 10 minutes ago"

Spurs 1 Chelsea 0 - It’s so quiet, it’s so quiet, it’s so quiet....over there

2009-03-22T01:34:00.021Z

When I heard the game was delayed because of a suspect vehicle in the Park Lane, I thought maybe Harry had parked a bus. Typical that our first 3pm Saturday kick-off since forever didn’t take place till 3:30pm. But who cares anyway? Sun was shining. And the delay allowed me to tuck into a cheeky burger pre-match.

Excellent performance. I don’t care that Chelsea were sloppy at times. We competed and created and deserved the points. What we have at Spurs is a team. One that works hard and one that has players in the right positions with a complete understanding of what their responsibilities are, individually and as part of a unit. It’s taken some time to get here, and there is no doubt it can improve further. Just makes a mockery of some of the concerns we had in recent months. Confidence breeds more confidence which leads to self-belief and good form. Form that reflects the quality we do possess rather than a shadow of it which saw as falter so pathetically early in the season.

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a team of square pegs slotted into square holes. Rejoice at the simplicity.

And it’s no surprise that it's coincided with the arrival of Wilson Palacios. Lost to Bolton on his debut, but since then we’ve remained unbeaten. Sure, his distribution wasn’t great today and it’s definitely an area that requires improvement, but Wilson’s work ethic is quite simply outstanding. His positional sense and strength in shielding the ball allows other players to go about their business knowing that the Panther is primed for attack if any of our forward play breaks down. Modric is the obvious benefactor of our new midfield enforcer.

And as for Luka, yet again we find ourselves with a brilliant player, one that’s imperative to any sustained progress we plan to make from now into the start of next season. Juventus and his agent can go take a running jump.

First half saw us have a couple of chances, both from Robbie Keane, both efforts well saved by Cech. Chelsea’s efforts equally dealt with at the other end. It's plain to see this is not the unstoppable, unbeatable Chelsea crafted by Jose. It’s a great feeling to know at half-time that there’s every chance we can beat them. One league win in thirty-eight games (that’s nineteen miserable years) and it’s Chelsea who don't quite look to have the better of Tottenham.

Second half, with Chelsea knowing about Utd’s loss away to Fulham, most would have expected a storming start from them. One with intent and purpose.

Instead, Bosingwa decides to play his way out of the penalty area rather than allow the ball to go out for a goal-kick. Messy passage of play sees it cleared, but only as far as Woodgate's head. Seems Football First and MotD both over-looked the (under-stated) header to Lennon, who dinked and crossed superbly for Modric to strike a cracking ball beyond the reach of Cech into the corner. Great play from Woody. Great play from Aaron. Great play from Luka.

His performance deserved that moment. Could have added a second when Lennon again crossed for again for him, this time Luka hitting the shot into the ground allowing Cech to collect with ease.

As expected, Chelsea far more forceful in possession after going 1-0 down and there was a moment when I almost conceded that we would need a second goal to win this because surely Chelsea would equalize. Almost did too. Staggering Gomes saved from John Terry. Match-winning stuff from the Brazilian. Then we countered, breaking with Lennon released out on the wing, only to then see him balloon the ball into the crowd. Had he zipped in a composed cross Bent or Jenas would have it 2-0. Heart still in mouth.

Chelsea continued their pressure in the 4 minutes of injury time. Plenty of nervous incident.

Anelka effort saved Lampard corner, Alex heads it into the ground, oh no no no, off the bar, phew, Gomes flicks it away Ball out of play,
Keane tells the fans to hold onto the ball Malouda effort,
another corner, Ballack turns and shoots, blocked off the line

Final whistle.

Still unbeaten against the ‘Top 4’. Our defensive record this season remains impressive (compared to last season’s antics). Unbeaten in six games. Three points from a European place. Nine points from the bottom three. Highest league position since August 2007, which is actually depressing coming off two successive 5th spot places, but it wouldn’t be Tottenham if there wasn’t a transitional period slotted in every couple of years. And just in case you’ve forgotten, we only had two points from eight games when Harry took over.

Surely this warrants a DVD release-party on an open-bus, paraded on Tottenham High Road?

Match Ratings:

Gomes – 8.8 – Has come back to reclaim the number one jersey, and has done so with some solid performances. Yeah, we know what he is prone to doing (spilling the ball, missing punches) but he’s cleaned up the calamity and is pretty solid between the sticks. His save from Terry was fantastical. He blocked almost everything else, apart from the Alex header, but even lady luck flirted with the Brazilian today. Lovely.

BAE – 8.6 - The perfect illustration of a player coming back from injury, playing through the hard times and continued to be selected allowing him to find consistently good form. Not the greatest defender or attacking fullback, but bloody reliable and dare I say.....good. He's come along way from the liability tag most bestowed on him.

Corluka – 8.6 – Man City sold this player...why? Looks half-asleep, but plays like a lucid dream: Always in control. Defended well, attacked even better when supporting Lennon. Anyway back for Hutton?

King – 9 – Can only play one game per week. Anyone who has any doubts about him should be declared clinically insane. A colossus at the back for us. Quite content with his one game every seven days if Dawson can cover with the type of form he has shown recently.

Woodgate – 8.8 – When you have a rock playing alongside a colossus, its happy days. King and Woody are an exceptional pairing at the back. Reads the game superbly. Touch wood (oh the pun, the pun) he has escaped major injury concerns and has also been a model professional for us. Something that some people said he'd fail to do when he made his move from Boro to London.

Jenas – 8 – Frustrating at times. Makes you wonder why the generosity with the 8/10. Misplaced passing aside, he worked his socks off. Looks to play the forward ball and was mentally on the level required, rather than sitting by a corner pin rocking backwards and forwards very slowly. He can thank Wilson for the new founded spirit. When JJ puts in this type of shift, it's easy to see why some might under-rate his effort but if you watch the game, he doesn't stop running. And in games like this, anything less is unacceptable.

Palacios – 8 – Distribution nowhere near perfect, but the man has adamantium in his bones. Completely unbreakable. And this is Wilson on about 75% of what he can do. Against top tier opposition you need someone who not only has grit but excels physically. He didn’t look out of place up against Essien (a far more complete midfielder), Ballack and Lampard. Fantastic buy, and I no longer shrug with disapproval at the hefty price tag.

Lennon – 7.9 – Quiet(er) performance today, but you can’t help but believe something good is going to happen when he runs with the ball. As seen with his assist to Luka for the goal. Having signed a two-year extension that will keep him in Lilywhite till 2014, I’m hoping Levy understands the importance of a ‘just say no’ policy to the likely bid(s) from Liverpool or whoever else in the summer. He's agreed to an extension. He has publicly stated he is happy at Spurs. It’s impossible for him to leave the club. I just feel the need to state this out loud via words in a blog article. He can not leave the club.

Modric – 9.2 – Playmaker, creative midfielder, magician. Cracking goal, cracking performance. We have ourselves a brilliant midfielder who will get better as the team continues to improve. Dictates the tempo for us. It’s ridiculous that some believed he was too lightweight for the Premiership. Hoping to see a lot more goals from the little man next season.

Keane – 7.9 – Worked hard and as Harry pointed out, came deep (we all know how good he is at that) to support the midfield and link up play. Not his day in front of goal, but did exactly what was required, just without the polished touch.

Bent – 7.9 – Played very well. Effort was stupendous. Might have lacked a touch here and there and sometimes displayed weak decision making, but hassled the Chelsea defence relentlessly. When he plays like this, you can’t fault him too much. And I’m not going to be critical just because I don’t see him at the club next season. He is not right, from game to game, as a first choice forward, IMO. But he can do a job. It's just that for the fee we signed him for, he should be first choice. Which is why I expect us to cash in on him cometh the summertime.

Redknapp – 9.5 – Balanced side, no unnecessary tinkering going into the game. Got the players up for this and tactically was spot on.

If we continue to improve, then I hope to see us boss the minutes after we go up a goal - against any opposition. When we're under pressure, we sometimes don't make it easier on ourselves by putting our foot on the ball and slowing the pace down to suit us. But this is a general observation. Chelsea are not exactly going to make any game comfortable for the opposing team.

It's just gone 2am, and it's pitch dark outside. Sun is still shining though. COYS.

The Incredible Huddlestone

2009-03-20T13:39:00.038Z

Deconstructing the Tottenham midfield conundrum - Part III

Incredible or just plain ordinary?

The supervolcano under the Yellowstone Park has been fairly consistent, erupting on schedule every 600,000 years or so. Considering the caldera is the size of the park itself, when it’s erupted in the past, to say that it bestowed apocalyptic disaster upon Gods green earth is putting it mildly. It's been 640,000 years since the last time it coughed up lava, so we are due another one pretty soon if you go on its timetable from the past three million years. Although geologists don't actually know with any certainty if it will happen again because apparently the molten below is cooling off and the reoccurring eruptions might have reached the end of their schedule. If so, it might be a million years or more before Mother Nature wakes it up. It might never erupt again.

Tom Huddlestone is a supervolcano.

He's big, doesn't move much but when he does he melts the oppositions defence with devastating consequences. But it doesn't happen often. You might be lucky to witness this marvel once every 10 games or so. When the next one is due, I couldn't say.

Actually, scrap this particular analogy. I've no idea where it's going, and I'd rather limit the amount of Partridge-isms I'm guilty of from one week to the next. So let's try this again.

Tom Huddlestone is a fat Glenn Hoddle.

No.

Tom Huddlestone is like a lighthouse. Stationary, but manages to light up all before him.

No, no.

Tom Huddlestone is our Dr Manhattan. Big and powerful, but understated and misunderstood.

No, no, no!

Ok. Analogies scrapped. Stick to facts.

Tom Huddlestone is not the most mobile of players.
Tom Huddlestone is a very decent passer of the ball.
Tom Huddlestone has a cracking shot.
Tom Huddlestone is technically good.
Tom Huddlestone is versatile.

But is Tommy too slow, cumbersome and defensively a liability? Or is that an unfair description for the player, where his strengths are of a more offensive nature? If you stick him in the middle of the park and the Spurs midfield are under pressure, can he step up and get stuck in, much like the maligned Jenas is capable of doing (when he's on song) by running up and down the pitch and hassling opposition players?

It's the job of Palacios or Zokora (shudder) to bite the ankles of the opposing players and break down their attack or reclaim possession. But that doesn't mean other players shouldn't pull their weight (ouch). Lennon is superb at times, in nicking the ball back for us. It's not so much a case of getting stuck in though, is it? He's played centre-back in the past and he's got involved turning defence into attack, with a touch here and a 30 yard pass there. You can defend brilliantly by sending the ball across one side of the pitch to the other with the outside of the foot, releasing your winger or forward and giving the defence time to re-organise.

But what happens before the ball is back in our possession and we are on the backfoot? And there are questions around consistency. There is an argument that Tom does put in a shift, it's just that compared to others, it doesn't resemble one.

The problem with Tom is that he is far less dynamic than many players of similar ilk (creative/playmaking midfielders). Which means he is far weaker in less offensive areas than any other midfielder we have. Carrick could defend well, wasn't exactly fast, but was mobile. Pace, or more so mobility, is important. He doesn't have any. Or more to the point, to quote about a thousand websites, he turns slower than the QE2.

Tom is quite similar to Jermaine Jenas in the way of potential. Both highly rated as youngsters, both possessing qualities that are admirable. But are both over-hyped? Or do they excel in some areas, but not enough in others to be considered complete?

Tom is a regular for the U-21’s and performs well, chipping in with a goal every now and again. But he’s not a regular for Spurs. But does chip in with plenty of assists and a few goals when he does turn out in Lilywhite. Why? Just because he can deliver clever balls and Hoddlesque passes, does this warrant an inclusion in our starting line-up? And if it does, what would it mean to the structure and balance of the team? Well, for starters, the team would have to be built around him. Or at least compensate for his deficiencies. So Palacios responsibility would be to clear the area allowing Tom to play Quarterback.

Now, this might work if, let’s say, Tom was as talented as Hoddle. To make a player the main creative outlet of the team he has to be something a bit special, and I’m not sure he’s that good, potentially or otherwise. Comparing anyone to Hoddle is blatantly unfair, so to re-word the above, I'd say that to build the team around one player they have to be, unquestionable, class - if not 'world class'.

Not to say I would not like to see him given a chance. But it’s asking a little too much for someone like Tom to 'carry the team'. It’s a bit like asking us to build the team around Bent by playing football like Charlton Athletic did in the days they resided in the Premiership - just because we all know he can score goals when on the break. Bent has a knack of doing so, but doesn’t offer enough to slot into a variety of forward roles which is required depending on the opposition. He’s a bit one dimensional. But what of Huddlestone? (not one dimensional, I'd go with a beefy 3D figure, tbh).

Even little Modric (did take his time to adjust which is understandable) gets involved with some of the dirty work – but he’s no defensive midfielder. So unless Huddlestone actually has an overwhelming negative influence on the team, there is no reason why he can’t play centre-midfield in a role that takes full advantage of his vision and skills.

Yes? Or no?

It’s a conundrum this one for the simple fact that he doesn’t play often enough. Let’s say Jermaine Jenas did not exist (I’ll give you a moment to climb down off your desk and pull your pants up and compose yourself........). Huddlestone would possibly get a more sustained opportunity to impress. The more games, the bigger the confidence, the better the communication on the pitch is with team mates. Coming off the bench, he’ll always be a decent impact player simply because of his sharp passing. But from his personal perspective, he’d want more than that. I want more than that. We all do.

Imagine if you will (I'm in fantasy mode today), Tom Huddlestone in Claret and Blue. Easy now. It's just a fantasy. He’d probably play every single week. That’s just an opinion, and West Ham fans might accuse me of over-rating him and that he’d never get into their team. Maybe. Possibly. But I guess that’s the point. He’s good enough, but good enough for whom? He is definitely good enough for someone. At some point in the next year or two, he'll need to be far more involved otherwise his progression will stagnate. Unless of course, what you see is what you get. Maybe there is no improvement coming. So, would you argue that his passing is that good, we can't afford to lose him? Or that the only thing he has is his passing ability and it isn't enough to claim a centre-midfield pairing - arguably one of the most important positions in the team.

Tactically, a manager will want his strongest 11 starting every week. Let’s say that includes Palacios and Jenas in the centre. If Jenas was unavailable, would Huddlestone slot in and give us the same type of thing, or more to the point, would he give us something that amounts to the same positive for the flow of the side?

Much like Jenas, he is good at some things, and not so good at others. Much like, well, most players. The trick is to maximise his abilities, getting the best out of him which will benefit the team. Harry has managed to do this with Lennon, a player who had an outstanding season, followed by a low-key one, and his now back to the type of form his potential has been screaming out for.

So how do we maximise Tommy boy?

Huddlestone - the quarterback? Sat in the middle laying off balls to both wings or dinking them forwards, with Wilson in the role of fullback, protecting him. Sounds immense on paper. And we've seen it in patches. I remember, when he first really started to push for a place at Spurs I considered him and Cesc Fabregas as the brightest midfield talents in the UK. Compare the two now. Ok, so Fabregas is a horrible arrogant piece of classless muck, but his ability as a footballer is unquestionable. But sadly the difference is fairly astronomical. The mucks influence is superior as is his general mobility. But one plays every week (when fit) the other is not first choice and excels (much like Jenas) against lesser opposition. But has done epically against the bigger teams too. Just not as often as, let's say, the scum that is Cesc.

Our midfield has always lacked spin. Palacios has brought us that. Lennon outstanding on one wing, Modric covering the other. So does Huddlestone - passing abilities aside - give us enough strength and assurance down the middle? Can he adapt to the pace of the game and the quality of the opposition? When he dictates, he is superb. And its those moments that have us asking the questions about his worth to the team. When the emphasis is with the opposition, that's when the concerns creep in.

If Huddlestone is around 60% of what we need from a player and Jenas is about 68% , then possibly both are nothing more than squad players and that we need to look at bringing in a more complete player, someone who is around the 80% mark and above. Someone like Carrick who gave us more than enough of everything. Or someone better. That’s no easy task. So an option would be to stick him in the team and run with it and just see where it takes us. If the talent is there and needs developing then first team appearances will answer the questions.

There’s also the option of playing Modric in the middle. But if we did, how would this improve on a Palacios-Jenas combination or a Palacios-Huddlestone pairing?

More on this in Part IV.

In conclusion, Hudd does offer us something but if a player doesn't scream out 'FIRST TEAM REGULAR' just by looking at him, and you have to pose questions, then it's likely that he isn't quite what's required - simply because of the doubts. To counter that, if a player isn't given a chance, then he won't be any nearer to proving he can do the job. Sometimes players do not fit into certain teams because of the way the team plays. Which is why Tommy is as a luxury.

If Jenas and Zokora can play so often for us and be considered first team regulars - with all the doubts and concerns around their abilities (or lack of) then maybe it is only fair to give Tom a chance.

If it was the 1980's, he'd be a superstar.

Deconstructing the Tottenham midfield conundrum - Part I

Deconstructing the Tottenham midfield conundrum - Part II

And now for a commercial break....

2009-03-18T12:14:00.002Z

"I categorically deny that I spat at anybody after the match. I have never done this in my whole career on the pitch, so why would I do it when I am not even playing?" - Cesc Fabregas.

We believe you Cesc. We all believe you.

Happy with Harry?

2009-03-17T19:41:00.013Z

If you frequent Spurs message boards you'll have probably seen the rather special version of the league table with the Lilywhites sitting pretty in 7th place. What's that? We're not seventh? Oh yes we are. If the Premiership began on October 21st we'd be just three points behind Arsenal and seven points off a Champions League place. This alternate reality is one I would very much like to visit. Next season, yeah?

As superfluous as this table of accumulated points since Redknapp's arrival is in the real world, it does illustrate that we haven't done too badly under his man-management. Even more so when you consider that the reason we didn't pull ourselves out of the mire sooner was due to that dismal patch of successive away games that saw us lose points in the dying moments. Lack of concentration that has since been fixed.

It's taken some time to get here. Where here is, I can't say for certain, but it's better than sitting in or just above the bottom three. If anything, for psychological reasons. We can still be pulled back, but it's unlikely. Class, it seems, always manages to shine through in the end.

At times it didn't look likely, but that's more down to our lack of patience and general emotional knee-jerks. Whether you like Harry and his media-whoring or not, there is no doubt that he (unlike 'couldn't wait to get the hell out of here' Ramos) appears to care a little bit more about progression even if he does have his own personal agenda. Who cares as long as Spurs improve as a team.

The Honeymoon Period

When you sack a manager and bring in a new one you are reliant on the textbook reaction players tend to give when there's a new man at the helm, but that is not always enough. Thankfully, Harry got us plenty of points which arguably become the foundation to re-build the confidence of the team. That's plenty of points in games we did not really expect to win or even draw. Did we ride our luck? Yes. But luck tends to fall into your lap when you go out seeking for it. Prior to his arrival we looked a sorry bunch, completely absorbed in our own self pity.

Fortress White Hart Lane

We still need to turn some of the draws into wins, but we are no longer a soft touch at home. Get points at the Lane, and half of the job is done. It's the basis of any team looking to do well. In our case we needed to the points thanks largely to the fact that our away form required major surgery, which took several weeks to complete.

Aaron Lennon

I doubt Aaron is playing well because Spurs spent £15M on David Bentley. His (Bentleys) performances will not exactly inspire others to excel. Harry should take the plaudits for getting Lennon back on song. Absolutely no doubting it, he'll be the fans player of the year this term. Under Ramos, Lennon was one dimensional and without intent and purpose. Under Harry he has been a relentlessly outlet of speed and not so perfect but getting there end-product. It's the best we've seen from the lad.

Addressing the fundamentals

No steel in midfield? In comes Wilson. Need something extra up front? In comes Defoe. As a consequence of his injury, in came Robbie Keane too. How both will fit in when JD is back from his lay-off will take some hefty man-management skills to resolve but it's something I'm certain Harry will deal with, let's say, diplomatically. His handling of the Gomes situation, equally impressive. Signing Cudicini was an inspired choice as we can finally say there's competition for the number one jersey. Modric found himself finally playing in a position that allows him dictate and create. King playing in Prem games rather than UEFA matches. Jenas and Zokora more responsible when tasked with 'jobs to do'.

Harry has tinkered here there and everywhere to find the right balance through the team. With a little bit of luck and confidence returning, the team has naturally improved with each passing game. The Chimbonda signing (decent cover if he bothers to stick the effort in) might be the only shrug thus far. But (even those its a mockery) re-signing Keane has proved to be a justified transfer.

Tactics

Took some tweaking to settle for his 'best' 11, but seems to understand the necessity of retaining a consistent team selection - one that can grow in terms of effectiveness with each passing game. I'm repeating myself.

He doesn't squad rotate for the sake of it. Liked how he subbed Zokora for Corluka the other day when it become apparent that Zoko could not cope with Young. Compare that to some of Juande's random subs. And there seems to be a far more evident game plan. Yes, we've had to endure one or two 4-5-1's here and there. But that was a stop-gap rather than a solution.

Overall, he is doing the job he was paid to do. At the start of next season he won't be able to remind us (about 6000 times per week) that Spurs only had 2 points when he joined. What happens in the summer (and yes, I do know this season still has a few games to go) will be vital. He should not look to overhaul the squad. Maybe one or two key changes, but starting from scratch is best avoided. We have a decent defence. Decent forward line-up. It just needs a bit of tweaking here and there.

What do we do with David Bentley? This season is a complete write-off, but discarding him would be callous and a little premature. Even if he has been a non-event on the pitch. Once he starts doing the basics and playing like a footballer rather than attempting to be a superstar, things will come good for him.

King? Retiring? Don't believe the twisted rumours. He'll continue to be our part-time God at the back. Gareth Bale reclaiming form a priority IMO.

And as for dos Santos and Adel? Like to see both of them back at the Lane and in the first team squad. £4.7M is a lot of money to spend on a mistake. He should be given the opportunity in a more stable side. Adel is a player who needs to start more games. I'm hoping he has a storming loan at QPR.

Bent is likely to go. All eyes on Pav who needs to show us all what he is capable of after a good summers rest. I'm hoping he has a bit more buzz about him when 100% sharp.

Personally, and I'm sure most would agree, the most important thing is how we handle ourselves in the transfer market. We've overspent on the wrong type of players far too many times. But with no DoF and having re-signed (almost) everyone we sold the summer before - it's down to both Harry and Levy to make sure that we bring in players because they are unequivocally required.

I'll concern myself with all these points of discussion again after we see ourselves through the final 9 games of the season.

Triffic.

The Curious Case of Jermaine Jenas

2009-03-16T23:11:00.012Z

Deconstructing the Tottenham midfield conundrum - Part II

Understanding the Goldfish

Jermaine Jenas is pretty much like the Bermuda Triangle. You know there's something in there, but it's completely lost. I remember when he was at Forest and how highly rated he was. Newcastle signed him and I can quite clearly remember being gutted about it. There was something exicting about him. A bit special dare I say. Get hold of a player with a good energetic engine who can run box to box, and you've potentially got a gem. Which is what Newcastle appeared to have. But things turned sour up at St James Park and Jenas looked towards London as an escape route.

When we signed him, many Spurs fans shrugged with uncertainty. At the time, we had a few central midfielders and arguably there were other areas that required assessment and improvement in the way of incoming transfers. Yet whilst Mendes, Davis, Murphy, Ghaly, Tainio have all been and gone - Jenas is still with us. Regardless of the manager at the helm (Jol, Ramos, Redknapp) they all rate him highly as do his team mates. Even Jose found the time to slot JJ into his fantasy football team. Yet many fans (Spurs or otherwise) just don't quite get the hype surrounding him and are basing this on what he produces on the pitch. But still, he is practically undroppable and always considered a first team regular. He also gets a fair share of England call-ups.

So why is it that a Spurs fan can't say with any certainty that Jermaine Jenas is a top drawer quality player?

What makes it even more confusing is when Jenas doesn't play. We seem to lack a certain something in midfield and yet when he does play we only ever dwell or notice his mistakes and errors. Unless of course, he plays very well and scores. We like him when he does that.

So is it simply our perception of the player? Is his work ethic understated? Bit like Carrick was initially. To agree with this, would be an act of self-patronising. Football fans (well, most of us) are not daft and read the game well. We haven't played the game, but that doesn't mean we are blind to it's finer details. We can spot a decent player and his worth to the side. We can right? I mean football, at a fundamental level, is fairly basic. It can't be that difficult to work out how productive Jenas is. Is it?

Is it? Yes. It appears so.

Jenas is the first one to be tagged scapegoat when things don't quite go right. He's an easy target for the boo-boys. But why exactly? Does he try less than everyone else? Is he responsible for the team not playing well when he doesn't perform?

A player is either crap, average, good, very decent, great or world class. Yet Jenas is very decent as far as people in the game are concerned and between crap and good if you listen to the fans. Well, the problem and frustrations - at least from the fans perspective - is that we all know Jenas could be great or close to it. Maybe not great, but very very good. I'm defining that by what we - in the stands - consider to be top drawer, rather than what a manager or a team mate thinks.

Someone like Ledley King for example, is a great player for Tottenham. Why? Well he not only excels at what he does, he does it consistently and makes a massive difference when in the side. And his errors are so rare, you can count them on one hand. But not everyone can be of Ledders high standard. Which means fans are likely to be have less patience for someone who is not as good. And equally so for someone who could be a lot better. But with King, there is no mistaking his quality. You can assess Dawson in the same manner and conclude that although he has clumsy moments, on form (and high on confidence) he is an excellent defender. But with Jenas, its all a bit clouded. Everyone is in agreement (management and players and fans) regarding King. It's not the same case with JJ.

The fact is, Jenas has all the qualities you would wish to bestow on a midfielder. He's an outstanding athlete. He can cover every blade of grass, such is the lads energy levels. He can tackle, he can pass (I'll come back to this, so stop laughing) and he has a knack of getting into the box at the right time to claim a goal (much like he did against Villa on Sunday). He's pulsating when he surges forward and you can clearly understand why people cite him as a box to box player because he can get stuck in at both ends of the pitch. We miss him when he doesn't play because he can be the connection between the midfield and attack (not so relient on this nowadays thanks to Modric).

Box to box is also another way of tagging a player who is not quite a DM and not an out and out attacking midfielder (or simply a 'complete' midfielder). I say not quite, because even though Jenas has all the qualities, for prolonged periods of time they are all wrapped up in potential. He's potentially this, he's potentially that can only get you so far before people start to question why it remains all boxed up and hardly ever displayed.

Lampard is not the worlds greatest footballer. Talent wise. But he scores plenty of goals and his work rate and influence on the game is up there with the best. Sure, he has had some excellent players doing the donkey work around him, meaning that he can express himself as he wishes out on the pitch. Gerrard is far more complete than Lampard is - although you'd still get people slag off the both of them for being over-rated. But the fact remains they both scrub up well defensively and both create and score goals.

Now compare Jenas to the both of them. You might think its a redundant exercise to do so, but Jenas is meant to be of similar ilk to the two aforementioned players. He possess all the same qualities they do. At least that's what the label says.

Jenas has the engine, he has a bit of everything defensively and offensively but he does not excel in any of his abilities to the standard and consistency of Lampard of Gerrard. Now and again he does stick in a class performance. Whether its a high octane running of the show with a goal or two or a digging deep and battling hard fought display - he can play to a very high standard. But not week in, week out. Even though Lampard and Gerrard might not do it to a very high standard every single week - they do it infinitely more times than Jenas ever does.

Jenas is dynamic...at times.
He has all-round abilities. He can defend and attack. He scores goals and assists.
Stamina? An abundance of it.
Can he tackle, pass and shoot? Arguably, yes.
Can he retain possession? Debatable.

Being able to do a bit of everything is just half of what's required. The rest is all in the head. He has decent awareness and vision, but his passing doesn't always come off the way it should. What he also lacks is the most important element that is required. Confidence. Tinged with arrogance.

Jermaine simply doesn't believe he is as good as people tell him he is. So regardless of all the abilities you might possess, if you can't display them when it matters, then the excuse that the potential is there is nothing more than a day dream that will never come true.

Jermaine Jenius

His composure and concentration lag behind when he is low on self-esteem. We've seen how plenty of times his performance has degraded when the crowd have got on top of him when his has been below-par. On other occasions he has has run the show, scored scorchers and has everyone beaming with pride.

Jenas lacks basic mental strength. And because of the expectations we have, it's far more apparent when he misplaces a pass. His general lack of consistency means on occasions he also misses a tackle or just backs away from one altogether. On other days, he is relentless. And because its so obvious when Jenas is on form and not on it, nobody tends to notice if he is in-between the two. Again, if you look at the Villa game - although he scored - he worked hard in midfield, made one or two mistakes in possession, but put in a good shift for the team. He does this quite often, and many tend to ignore the work, other than say his manager and team mates and the odd fan. The rest ask what it is exactly he does for the team.

You've probably read that and disagreed with me, proclaiming Jenas was average/poor on Sunday. It's a tricky one this. One fan says one thing, the next the complete opposite. Yet both fans witnessed the same game.

You can probably pick out any other current Spurs player - past or present - and you'll find it easier to state whether said player is/was a decent for us. Apart from say Darren Bent who also splits Spurs fans into differing sections of opinion much like JJ does.

So we basically have a player who chokes/suffers from mental blocks. A player who can have an outstanding game, but usually against lesser teams. A player who looks a lot worse when he does play poorly virtue to the fact that so much more is expected from him. When he doesn't play, we tend to lack a spark in midfield. When he does play, he frustrates people with his see-saw composure but can also delight thousands with moments of magic.

He can pass. He can't pass. He can tackle, he can't tackle. He goes missing, he runs the show. The bloke is an enigma. Or maybe he isn't. Maybe Jenas is simply an average player who excels now and again rather than a player with all the ability in the world who doesn't show it week in week out because he lacks belief. There's a difference between the two. The latter can become a great player, the former never will.

Maybe its more simplistic than that. Maybe JJ's abilities are not good enough to match his awareness of play. Or maybe its the other way around and his decision making is shabby and erratic and he panics and goes for the wrong ball/pass/shot.

So what of Jenas and our current midfield? Having signed Wilson Palacios - a far better proposition for the DM position than Zokora - can Jenas (with the man-management of Harry Redknapp) discover self-expression in a more balance side and sustain it? If he does partner Wilson, then Modric has to drift in from the left-hand side (his under-rated versatility coming in handy), which makes him a little less effective than possibly starting alongside the Panther in centre-mid. Or does having Modric on the left-hand side mean that the responsibility of creative outlet is down to him and Jenas role is simply to hassle the opposition midfield (aiding Palacios) and support the forward line while Wilson sweeps up and protects the defence? Having an enforcer in the centre of the park would allow Jenas to wonder forward more directly (box to box) and cause a bit of trouble for the opposition. Something he did more than well against Villa.

Jenas role in the side has to be defined but as the side continues to evolve under Harry and the midfield begins to take shape we'll know if having him in the middle with Palacios is the way forward.

Some would suggest that Huddlestone should be given the opportunity. Yes, Huddlestone. You know, the big bloke with anchors for feet. More on that particular discussion in Part III.

Definition of Jenas role placed aside, there's still the questions concerning his self-confidence. If he doesn't get over it, he'll always yo-yo between the acclaims and the boo-boys. At the minute, that's good enough for a place in the Spurs team.

Can't say I'm any closer to solving this particular conundrum.

Deconstructing the Tottenham midfield conundrum - Part I

Villa 1 Spurs 2 - Snapshot review

2009-03-15T18:16:00.010Z

A lickle match report following on from the minute-to-minute coverage of the game:

Well done to all. Great team performance. Especially the second half.

Well done to Harry for the selection and half time team talk. Thought we weathered the storm really well in the first half and taking Zokora off who struggled to handle Young was a great decision. Team looked very balanced in comparison to previous away day outings.

Modric drifting in from the left and Lennon absolutely the sex on the right wing. Wonderful unplayable ball into the box for Jenas to get his head onto. Keane is Keane. Dropping deep, pushing forward. And Bent deserves some credit today for his work ethic especially with the counter-attacks we mustered up. Guess his agent told him to put himself in the shop window, considering it was live on tv. Yes, 15 goals. But let's be honest. This game is exactly what Bent lives off. Counter-attacking football, running down the channels. Slow the game down to something a little more intelligent, and he struggles. Still, for this type of away day job, it was a job well done.

Jenas performed very well today. There, I said it out loud. Palacios not so great but forgiveable. I'm talking about his passing which was at times clumsy and sloppy. He still hasn't performed to the standard of the Arsenal home match but was fairly strong today and worked well with JJ. Modric had his moments, but was relatively quiet compared to what we know he can do. But these are not complaints. They all deserve credit.

As for the defence, BAE was superb. King and Woodgate, brick walls. The only leak came when Carew beat Woody for the Villa consolation goal late on.

Midfield improved immensely in the second half, but I guess Villa made it a little easy for us to boss it. Still need to work on our possession play and when the games pace is slowed down we sometimes struggle to adapt.

Great to see us being ultra-pro with the time wasting at the death. Nice to be in that position and work it a little to guarantee no late show heartbreak.

Fantastic three points. Villa look dicked for 4th spot now. Three points off 8th spot. Four points off 7th. Six points off the bottom three. Happy days.

Villa v Spurs - Live text blog coverage

2009-03-15T15:16:00.049Z

Coverage of the Villa v Spurs game in BBCesque minute-by-minute commentary will be attempted. Guess it's dependent on whether I'm busy throwing furniture at the walls and cursing the footballing Gods.

Team news? Well, Zoko looks set for the right-back position in place of out-of-form Corluka. BAE at left-back. Someone remind me again why we signed Chimbonda? King and Woody in the centre for us and Darren Bent starts with Keane up front.

Do we ever win up there? Hardly. Do they have players that might cause us the odd problem or three? Yes. Ashley Young. Too expensive for us at £8M.

Sigh.

Need Palacios, Jenas, Modric and Lennon to be completely on song this afternoon.

So, be back here for 4pm for the alternative text update of the game.

This blog article will be updated every few minutes from 4pm onwards.

--

15:57 - Captain Obvious with this statement, but as long as the defence hold it together and the midfield look to push the ball forward and attack (rather than sit back and pass the ball sideways) we might have a chance of nicking something here. I fancy Villa to come out all guns blazing. We need to avoid conceding anything silly in the first 20 minutes. Another blatantly obvious statement is - the chances we do get presented with - need to be slotted away. You hear that Darren? Between the sticks thank you very much.

16:04 - VILLA 0 SPURS 1. Lovely! After a fiery start to the game (couple of offside decisions against Villa, and a deflected harmless shot from Palacios), Lennon whips in a great cross which Friedel helps onto JJ's head. 1-0. Great stuff from us. Nice tempo and pressure. Our players looking up for it. This is going to be tasty.

16:10 - This is taken from the BBC website:

The boy has been on fire recently and Aaron Lennon is the man of the moment again. The flying winger roasts Zat Knight down the right-hand side and whips in a great cross that Paul Robinson can only palm straight to Jermaine Jenas, the midfielder heading in from close range to give Spurs the dream start.

Hmm.

16:11 - Villa have woken up. As expected, they are the ones applying the pressure now. Dealing with it fine. Have to watch that boy Young. Tight marking please.

16:13 - What was I saying? Young ghosts past Zokora, lays it off, ball pings about and is is eventually cleared after a shot on goal from Barry. Open game at the minute. We are not looking too shabby. Need to get the ball to Lennon more.

16:16 - Bloody hell. What did Harry stick in their pre-match water? Wonderful Robbie Keane ball releasing Darren Bent who cut inside and almost pulled the trigger but was brilliantly tackled. Ball falls to man of the moment JJ who has a crack, but it's well blocked.

16:20 - Almost 20 minutes on the clock. Villa dominating possession wise, but we look useful when pushing forward. Young is the key for them. Always looks dangerous.

16:23 - Is it too much for me to ask for a cheeky second goal? Maybe a Jenas scissor-kick or a Bent chip? Villa caught offside again. They will get the run of play at some point.

16:27 - Sideshow Bob defending well for us. Villa still pressing forward. Bit relentless from them at the moment. We are not helping matters with sloppy balls in the middle of the park. Can we try to fizzle the tempo down a little by playing possession football? Guess we need to hold onto the ball for more than 3 secs to do that.

16:29 - Bloody hell. Young doesn't even look like he needs to try and get past Zokora. It's that easy (nutmegged). Nice break from us. Not the greatest ball from Modric to Lennon. Missed opp that.

16:32 - Ooh, bit of possession from us and a little time-out spend in the Villa half. Ends with a Jenas shot that was easily plucked out of the air by Friedel.

16:36 - First sub of the afternoon. Zokora is going off. Seems our man Zoko - better right-back than central mid - is being replaced by Charlie, probably tactical rather than due to an injury. Young has pretty much had the freedom of the wing so far.

16:37 - 61% possession for Villa so far. Always comes down to the midfield, and at the moment they are second best to the home side. Then again, the emphasis is on them to come at us. Guess a little patience is required. No doubt we'll get another chance to break - but whether its still 0-1 to us when that happens is all dependent on how well we defend and if Villa can manage that final ball. Something that's eluded them.

16:44 - Crikey. That break away almost happened. Bent into Keane, didn't quite get to him. Then moments later, another break into the box - Jenas into Modric - Luka has a shot rather than pass to Keane (or was it Bent? I was jumping around the room at the time). Think he went for the right option in the end. Could have been 0-2 that. These are the chances we have to take.

16:48 - See, only Spurs can do this. We have possession in midfield. Jenas plays a smart ball into the path of Palacios who proves to everyone he can't quite pass. Villa break, cross goes in, Heskey hits the bar with his effort. Phew.

16:49 - HALF-TIME, VILLA 0 SPURS 1. Not the best from us, but don't agree with the pro-Villa commentary from Sky Sports who seem to think we have been lucky/shit in possession. Yes - we've struggled to retain the ball, but we've been more than useful when getting into the Villa box and in comparison to their efforts on goal, I'd say its fairly equal. If anything, as the away side, we haven't done too badly. We are 1-0 up, and could have had another. Villa will argue they've had plenty of chances to be leading this game. Until they get that final ball right, I don't care.

17:06 - Here we go. We need to get a grip in centre-mid as Ledders and Woody are having to deal with a little too much to expect them to see out the 90 minutes without any additional team support. Double up on Young (ooh) and don't give the git any time on the ball. If we avoid a second half battering and push forward - give it to Aaron, then we'll score again. The longer Villa are frustrated, the more counter-attacks we'll get. Football management? Piece of piss.

17:09 - Villa start with some intent. Couple of corners. Come to nothing. Is it me or does Palacios look less of the panther, more of the Cheshire cat?

17:10 - Muhahahahaha! VILLA 0 SPURS 2. Staggering stuff. For all Villas effort, all we need to do is break and score. What did I say? Give it to Aaron. The boy storms into the box, Wilson has a crack, its saved by Friedel and Keane places the ball goalbound, and that man exquisitely finishes from about half an inch out. 'ave it! We look up for a third now.

17:16 - Lennon shaves the top of the goal with a cracking shot from outside the box. I'll only start to dance around the living room when we notch a third.

17:19 - Bent is on what now? 15 goals? Guess this means we need to offer him a new 5 year contract. Knows where the goal is, innit? Well worth the £15M we paid for him. Reckon we should offer Charlton an extra £5M as they were blatantly hard done by.

17:22 - Also, special mention to Bradley in the Villa goal. Two assists this afternoon. Well done that man.

17: 23 - 52% possession for us in the second half (thank you Sky Sports). Modric has a blast at goal, Friedel this time dealing well with it. Far better second half performance from the midfield. Fancy another goal.

17:27 - Talking of Sky Sports, is anyone laughing out loud with me at the overly bias commentary gashing out of the gob of Andy Gray? Embarrassing stuff. But then not unexpected. 2-0 up and hardly an ounce of credit. "The biggest smash and grab I've seen", sure Andy, sure.

17:33 - About 20 mins left on the clock. We are still giving it a go. Villa, a little deflated. This is a more than decent away day performance from us, in comparison to some of the shambolic displays of recent months. Harry will be able to live off this for 3 months at least.

17:38 - Playing some decent stuff. Ooh, Andy Gray has just paid us a compliment! Almost the perfect day. King and Woodgate have been top class today. Actually can't fault anyone at the moment for effort.

17:43 - O'Hara on for Modric. Can you smell the three points? I can smell the three points. 5 games unbeaten, eight minutes away. Very quiet at Villa Park now, other than the dancing singing away fans. I'm a little giddy.

17:46 - Oh shit. Shit shit shit. VILLA 1 - SPURS 2. I jinxed it. Carew with a header, no chance Woody (defending) and Gomes. Andy Gray creams himself. 84 minutes on the clock. Christ this will be gutting if we lose 3 points and go home with 1.

17:50 - Final minute of the game now. It's ominous this. Villa pegging us back. But we survived. 3 mins of injury time. Andy Gray feels it's time enough for the home team to score. Hey Andy, is it time enough for us to hold out for all the three points?

17:54 - VILLA 1 SPURS 2 FT. YES! GET IN! Relegation? We laugh in your face. And the face of Andy Gray. Whoop!

Spurs.....leave those kids alone!

2009-03-14T11:56:00.005Z

Adel Taarabt, Gio and Gunter (again) have all gone out on loan until the end of the season. Gunter I can understand as he won't get games considering the collection of far more experienced right backs we have for selection. The other two should be wild-cards off the bench for us, but considering both hardly figured all season it's no surprise they've been shifted out of the club, for now at least.

Gio going to Ipswich (wasn't long ago he was notching up a Nou Camp hat-trick) is possibly his departure lounge moment as I'm not sure he'll be with us come the start of next season. Harry blatantly doesn't rate the kid. Which means he hasn't made an impression in the reserves or in training to warrant more time on the first team bench and more cameo appearances. Unless of course it genuinely is a case of 'the kids can't be risked in a relegation scrap'. And if that's the case, then we need to start reviewing the point in purchasing some of this supposed talented youngsters when all we're going to do is stagnate their development. Both should have been loaned out far far earlier if that's the way we wish to progress them.

Yes, yes, I know. If Spurs were sitting pretty in the table we could afford these wild-cards and their development would be their involvement in Spurs games in the Premiership rather than the lower divisions. So I guess the club don't think it's the right thing to do mentally to the young lads. Which is understandable considering how Bale has struggled this season.

I hope Gio does impress, if anything for his self-confidence (if he has any left) and as a reminder that he might just possess something worth retaining. How much did we spend on him? £4M? £4.7M? Did we mug ourselves off? Because it sure feels like we're doing just that at the moment.

Adel will have loads of fun at QPR (who do like to play it around) and it's doubtful Spurs will be letting him go anytime soon in the way of a permanent transfer. It's still ridiculous that he has gone out on loan IMO. I don't see the problem with the tactic of having him come off the bench and nutmeg a player or two. He can impact the game late on with his mazy runs. Fact is we won't know how good he really is until he starts games from the start, and as that is unlikely to happen at the minute at WHL, then I can almost understand the logic with him going on loan. As much as I don't like it.

Far too many Blondel moments (in recent years) for my liking.

The Magnificent Seven - Deconstructing the Tottenham midfield conundrum - Part I

2009-03-12T19:47:00.051Z

Palacios. Modric. Jenas. Zokora. Huddlestone. Taarabt. O'Hara. Seven players. One massive conundrum, as puzzling to us in the same way a Rubik's Cube would be for a blind monkey. Why do we persistently struggle with the central midfield pairing and how do we go about resolving it? Signing Wilson Palacios might allow for some sustained consistency but who is best paired up with him? Where should Modric play - central or left-wing? Can Jenas ever offer us whatever it is he's meant to offer? Is Huddlestone too slow to command first team selection and have a team built (orbit) around him? Has Zokora found his true calling elsewhere in the starting line-up? And what of Jamie O'Hara and his big Lilywhite heart but limited abilities?

Where do we even begin to unearth the answers? Most of the questions might be redundant come the summer anyway as Harry chops and changes the team to his liking. But the fact remains we find ourselves in this current predicament and a working partnership still needs to be formulated in the centre of the park.

So let's go back in time a little bit to where it all began (to go wrong).

Part I - How do you solve a problem like Carrick ?

Ever since Michael Carrick moved onto pastures new and claimed a new founded personal annoyance of having to polish loads of silver around the house, we've gone back to the drawing board more times than Rolf Harris. And all we ever manage is a badly illustrated scribble of Mickey Mouse which looks more like a duck. Slightly roasted.

Why is it such a monumental task of impossibility for our little club in N17 to plug the gaping holes? There's no doubting our efforts to plug said holes. We throw money into them. In all the years we've been crying out for a true left-winger, we've done the same with our fabled dreams of a defensive midfielder. A 'most wanted' player to marshal the centre-park with authority and menace. We've never really managed to pick up either. Capable players have worn the Lilywhite shirt (Mendes) and others have struggled with injuries (Sean Davis). Whereas some have been below average (KPB) or far too erratic (Ghaly).

Carrick of course was never an out-and-out 'DM' himself when at the Lane. He does have some wonderful defensive capabilities. His knack of nicking the ball away before the need to tackle is something many of the overly passionate missed in his early Spurs days when it was simply easier (and incorrect) to bemoan his apparent lack of getting stuck in. Carrick would sweep up and orchestrate proceedings as he assisted the team to push forward with intent. His passing was (is) top drawer. He positively glowed with quality. Hence his departure to Manchester United and guaranteed winners medals.

Our sun had gone supernova and replaced by a black hole.

So who did we turn too in our hour of need? Carrick was spellbinding for us in his final season, which saw us famously lose 4th spot at the death. We got around £18M - £20M for him. He wanted to leave, he made no secret of the fact, and never lied about it or his ambitions. With Davids having added bite and experience to our midfield that season, we had what you might consider to be a backbone. A pretty decent one. It was no surprise to see us perform so well.

Throughout my life as a Spurs fan, the club (on the pitch) has been defined simply by the following:

- Flair players, with shirts tucked out
- Free flowing, beautiful football
- Loads of Cup silverware
- Bit of a soft touch (i.e. no backbone)

The spirit of a David Mackay or Graham Roberts has been missing from our starting line-ups far too many times over the past decade and a bit. We've much preferred to splash money out on what people (fans and the media) expect from us. Luxury players, who are only luxury because the rest of the team structure lacks the right amount of balance to accommodate them. Superfluous signings are quintessentially Tottenham when something far more basic and unsexy is the sometimes the answer.

Obviously, I'm exaggerating a little with that assessment. The likes of Ginola and Gascoigne are definitive Spurs players and I'm glad we saw them in a Spurs shirt. But there has been times when we've had players worthy of winning silverware but no backbone to support them. Which is why as a soft touch we never appear to do much in the sustained challenge that league football offers.

Considering we have an outstanding tradition in playing football (in the purest sense of how football should be played) and a ridiculous list of uber-talented players dating all the way back to the 1950's - you can probably ask yourself what if someone had built a Spurs side that combined the best of both worlds rather than always siding with the romantic notion of beautiful football?

It's easy for anyone to say 'what if' and then lay claim for the missing pieces of the jigsaw. We got away with the gaping holes until mediocrity reigned supreme and injections of a Ginola or Gazza were not enough to see us progress (other than Cup Final wins) so we stuttered through the mid-90's and into the new century badly lagging behind the Top 4.

The renaissance under Martin Jol was an indication that plugging in the right players means things can tick along splendidly. One player out of synch could result with the whole team being lopsided. And once that happens, it can so easily come apart.

So with Carrick gone, the replacement had to be one of two things. And this is just an opinion, as I'm sure some of you will have your own:

1) A direct replacement

Obviously, finding a Carrick clone was never going to happen. But drafting in a similar style of footballer (a good passer of the ball, good vision, good defensive qualities, steady, reliable and consistent) was an option. If one could be found. There wasn't it seems any available in the UK that fitted the bill, but that's going on the assumption that Comolli and Jol were looking for a player of the exact same ilk.

2) An out-and-out defensive midfielder

DM is arguably interpreted in many ways depending on personal opinion. Is a DM the same thing as a holding midfielder? Well yes, except you'll still hear people say that Carrick is a combination of both or more so the latter with one or two offensive weapons in his locker (ooh) too. Even though, fundamentally both have a duty to protect the defence and to help out the midfield and forwards. So a DM is the same as a holding midfielder. Right? It's just a different descriptive label for the same thing. Right? The reason I'm banging on about this is because of the amount of discussions/arguments I've heard debating the differences between certain players who play in the central midfield position that is not the attacking position (catchy). If you get a player who does more in said position than the next bloke, it's probably because he is simply a better footballer.

Much like House music is broken down into countless genres and sub-genres, the same could be applied for this much maligned midfield role. Carrick would fall into the Progressive House category. Plenty of peaks and layers, bringing them together to drive forward some good solid movement.

For the sake of this discussion and article, by out-and-out I'm simply referring to the Roy Keane stable of midfielders. Loads of bite, someone you can count on in a battle and (to retain an element of the Tottenham way without going off in the complete opposite direction - i.e. Robbie Savage) a player who can pass the ball. Offence is the best form of defence, right?

Zokora's movement is unsurpassed

Now this basis of the exact type of player required to fill the void will be the responsibility of manager and director of football. How do Spurs push on from here with minimum impact to the teams performance? Carrick is gone so do we want to continue playing the same type of system or do we have to adapt accordingly? It's the latter. Simply because every player is unique. Not trying to teach you to suck eggs with that particular understatement. No matter who or what you bring in as a replacement, the team balance will alter from 'ever so slightly' all the way down to 'Oh my God the humanity!' depending on the choice.

We don't have the obvious quality that Utd and Liverpool and Chelsea have in this 'DM' position. So when we lose a player like Carrick, its a serious issue. Arsenal have struggled this season with their obvious lack of depth in centre midfield. And going back to when Carrick departed, we had to make sure it was not detrimental to the teams progress.

Hmm. Yeah. I know.

So basically - the replacement would either be a 'conductor' who could still get forward and create something either with a pass or a dinking run as well as completing his holding role or a more traditional DM who would get stuck in, bite the ankles of opposing players and generally do all the dirty work and graft allowing the more skilful creative players the time, freedom and space to do their thing.

What Jol and Comolli did was sign Didier Zokora.

Zoko had performed with much acclaim during the African Nations cup. He looked good and at £8M, a steal. Here's someone who appeared to have an abundance of energy and authority. Could tackle and thus although not as subtle and clever as Carrick - still a player with some midfield clout. The one evident (and worrying aspect) was his passing. Or lack of. Add to it his lack of goals also. But many still saw this as a major coup.

So there was no direct replacement for Carrick in the strictest sense of the word. Didier and Michael might be grouped under the DM stable, but both are very different which meant the team would need to adapt and evolve into something a little bit different. But such was the importance and productivity of Carrick, Zokora was always doomed to fail.

If Didier Zokora was House music he'd be Minimal. Repetitive glitches and bleeps and some sporadic melodic moments now and again.

What we have at the present moment in time is a nifty little dancer who is infinitely better at right-back than in central midfield. I'm not blaming Zokora for the teams frailties. He was apparently (if you believe the press) courted by several 'big clubs' before accepting our offer. I spent the first season making excuses claiming 'he needs time to bed in'. He was no Carrick (who also took a little time to settle the nerves of the Spurs boo-boys) but he was also not the player many had watched and admired at international level. He was at times clumsy in his manner.

Zokora doesn't appear to excel at anything in particular when tasked with bossing the midfield area. Yes - he has put in some outstanding shifts in his time at WHL including a purple patch or two. And even recently he appeared to improve (possibly the arrival of Wilson played a part in that). But he can't pass the ball to save his life and his positional sense is poor and, well, he isn't the best tackler of the ball either. He simply doesn't dominate the midfield in any way that would help support the players around him. Now that might have a lot to do with the fact that Spurs always have a mish-mash of players that don't quite compliment each other. Bit like building something you see on Blue Peter with random items you'd usually just bin. Ends up looking snazzy, but at the end of the day it's just made up of rubbish.

And as Carrick famously stated, players at Spurs (during his time) didn't do their utmost to improve themselves by competing with team mates. So Zokora has never actually improved in any way since signing. Whether that's because he can't or because the Tottenham Disease is still evident, I don't know.

As mentioned earlier, it's not the fault of Zokora. And his effort can't be faulted when he is on the pitch. Great athlete. In a more disciplined position like right-back where his responsibilities are more defined, he has been a revelation. He can defend, work well with his team mates, and push forward with intent.

So why can't he do the same in midfield? Simply put? Didier has no footballing brain. The engine room of the team doesn't just need a grafter, it needs someone who can finely tune the nuts and bolts and unclog any parts that stop working. Zokora spends far too much time on a tea break. Sure, we love it when he just runs forward like an unstoppable locomotive. There are aspects of his play you almost admire and smile at. But its endearing and not exactly the foundation to build your midfield on.

Making things doubly difficult during this period of change was that as lauded as Carrick was for his holding play, he was far more than a guardian of our defence holding back the freedom for opposing players to run amok. He was also a deep-laying playmaker. By virtue of defending, he'd set our players off in the opposite direction. His Hoddlesque passing and quick thinking made us tick. When he left for Utd, we didn't just lose one player. We lost the man with two brains and gained a man with half of one.

What happened next? Not a lot.

Part II will follow in the next couple of days with a look at JJ's role in the Spurs midfield.

Defoe, Hutton, Pav and Silver: Some random thoughts

2009-03-10T16:19:00.020Z

I was complaining earlier that there is currently a lull in newsworthy items to comment on. I was wrong. Found another three. Just like the buses, eh? Actually, make it four. Just thought of another one.

Defoe is on his way back to regaining full fitness, which will prove to be interesting with regards to how he'll fit into the team with Robbie Keane (captain) reclaiming his place as darling of the Lane. JD is exactly what we need in the run-in. He'll be hungry and determined to pick up where he left off. But does he partner Robbie up front? Can he partner Robbie? Does Keane go wide and Defoe partner Pav up front? Can anyone say 'here we go again'?

I'd like to see Robbie and JD play together, at least once or twice so we can find out once and for all if its workable. If by some miraculous miracle they'll connect on a different level to the limp ineffective Hobbitesque attempt of yesteryear - then happy days. Don't quite see how it will and also doubt Keane drifting from the wings would work either. As for the idea being laughed about concerning Keane taking a role in midfield and replacing Modric......behave yourselves.

Then there's Pav. He's stated that he's happy at Spurs and doesn't want to move. It's all dependent really on what Harry decides in the summer, but I guess Roman is reacting to one of the daily churned out quoteless made up stories which always seemed to be based on very little of anything. Personally believe we should stick with him. Hasn't scored a lot in the Prem (4 in about 22 I think) which is disappointing, but then it's not like he has been swaggering in a team of swaggering players. Berbatov took a while to adjust. Pav is not of the same quality as the Bulgarian but to dismiss him after a debut season is criminal. It's not like he's struggling ala Rebrov.

I say judge him based on next season. He's a team player, not the strongest or fastest on current assessment, but his movement is good and his finishing in front of goal more than decent. His finishing from further out and some of his decision making (lack of composure too) is where the concern begins to creep in. £14M, Russian International.....surely these qualities should be more apparent? Can I refer to the textbook response of 'he's tired/played 5 months in Russian league before joining us/can't speak the language/still adapting to English culture' etc etc? Which is why we need to be patient and see how he performs next term.

Now some of you are probably picking up a shitty stick and poking me with it along with accompanying eerie chanting:

"Darren Bent...Darren Bent...Darren Bent..."

Yes, yes. Top scorer. But of all the forward players we have, it's practically a certainty he will be the one to leave the club in the summer. Unless we start playing like Charlton, he won't be a success here - even with his decent goal ratio. We saw it, a very simplistic example, against Boro. Pav went off, Bent came on, Spurs struggled with their forward play. The flow disappeared. He doesn't fit in. Scoring goals apologetically is in no way a foundation to build on. Because if there has to be a plan B, he has no way of fitting into it. One dimensional football to appease his selection might produce a tasty goal ratio across several games, but stats aside - it doesn't breed quality team football.

Alan Hutton is also not far off from his return from a long injury lay off. He has a foot injury. Prefer not to dwell on any whispers being made to suggest otherwise. And when he is fit and able (and hopefully not as nervy as he was when he played in the Arsenal away game way back) it will mean we have him, Chimbonda and Gunter for the right back positions. And Corulka. Gunter is out on loan. Corluka works well on the right hand side with Lennon. Pascal has yet to reclaim any decent past form for us and was always a little suspect defensively - but is more than decent offensively. Although you could argue that when he does wonder forward he does so with little regard for the player who is then meant to cover him. Both Shimbo and Charlie can also play central along with King, Woodgate, Dawson. Hutton can only play right-back, the lazy git. You following this so far?

We have substantial cover at the back. There is no doubting that. Over on the left hand side BAE has been very consistent for us and Gareth Bale will hopefully find his way back onto the ladder of progress soon enough and begin to climb it with the hoodoo laying flat on its face at the bottom as the Welsh kid looks down from the top all smiles. Ideally then we could have a back four of:

Hutton - Woody - King - BAE

Or

Hutton - Dawson - Corluka - BAE

Or

Chimbonda - Woody - King - Bale

Or

Corluka - Woody - King - BAE

Or

Hutton - Woody - Corluka - Gunter

I can be doing this musical chairs routine all day long. Best way to just summarise it:

- Chimbonda can not play left-back and should either start at RB or cover a centre-back position if we are desperate

- Corluka is a right-back, but might be the answer in slotting into CB when King is unavailable

- A flying Hutton is a better option than Chimbonda out the right side IMO

- Woody will always start as long as he is 100%

- Gunter is one for the 'future' and will get his chance because Pascal will be due a transfer request a year from now

- BAE is not world-class but has acquired an edge to his game (also don't you just love the way he turns to go one way then turns and runs in the opposite direction? Its the most telegraphed move in football yet works every bleeding time!), and until Bale re-discovers his bite he does a more than decent job for us

Hold up. Oh Christ. I've forgotten to include you know who.

Hutton. Chimbonda. Corluka. Gunter......and Zokora. Add another one to the list. Didier is a better RB than he is a midfielder. Unless someone can define what type of midfielder Zoko actually is, I'll stand by my word. So that makes '5' players who can slot into the spoilt position of the right hand corner of our defence. Insane depth for a bread and butter team position. Seems that every part of the team has either far too much of one thing or too little of the other. I'll get to our midfield issues in another blog article.

Finally, let's finish with Dan Silver. Works for the Daily Mirror. Read this. Insightful stuff. I thought some of my work lacked substance but I do this for free so the standard of content varies depending on alcohol levels. Shame on you Mr Silver. Shame on your editor. Out of interest, who do you support? Let me guess...

Ledley will always be our King

2009-03-10T12:03:00.023Z

I'm a bit bored at the moment. There's a slight lull in stories worthy of commentary. Other than maybe the news that Ledley King could play in the remaining 10 fixtures for Spurs. According to our oracle of football, Harry Redknapp. This following on from the recent lack of contract talks that won't be taking place just yet between club and player.

King (with Spurs no longer having midweek games to concern themselves with) can now look forward to Ledders being available once per week with plenty of recovery time in-between. As long as the old knee doesn't give way. Is he prolonging the inevitable? Is he sustaining long term permanent damage to his knees every time he plays for us? How long will he persist with this? Equally important to ask whether Spurs will have to make a decision on King's future based on his availability. You can't build a defence around a part-time player. But when the player is this good, do you allow for a concession? Heart says yes. So does the head, but more so the heart.

As for the potential of a new contract, that really depends on whether this is it for the rest of his career. This being 'play when injected with magic' but only half the time and never twice in a week. It's sad. A fully fit Ledley King would be a fully fledged England international. And probably a Man Utd player. But theres no doubt he'd be a defender at the top of his game with countless clubs courting him - in a world with no knee trouble. He's still capable of exceptional performances for us - but still in a part-time capacity. Which is why we are probably not reading a Daniel Levy club announcement justifying a £25M transfer of King to Old Trafford.

What we have instead is a loyal committed servant who gets wrapped up in cotton wool more often than running out in Lilywhite. As long as he is not aggravating his knee problems with the injections and continuing to play professional football then I'm happy to have him at the club and the club should make sure he remains there till he hangs his boots up. I hope there is not a single ounce of truth that doctors advised him to quit or risk serious damage.

Also, I'm not suggesting Ledley is still with us only because of his injury plight. The bloke is no Sol Campbell. Ledley is honest and loves the club. He wants to be at White Hart Lane and in the past possibly could have flirted with a Champions League club if he wanted to. But if he was 110%, he'd be tested, along with the chairman. That's a sure thing. But he'd never walk the way Judas did. Personally hope he does start the big big away games we have at Villa, Everton, Man Utd and Liverpool. Dawson is a fine understudy to have on current form. I'm still staggered by the fact that King never trains.

Elsewhere, there was a perfect example of printed bullshit in the Sunday papers that had David Bentley linked with a move to Aston Villa. He would 'relish the move' apparently. No actual quote or suggestion that any part of the article was based on fact or actual player/club opinion. The usual standard of reporting from the weekend tabloids.

Bentley has been nothing short of disastrous since signing for us. No form at all. Not even 5% of what he showed at Blackburn. He has struggled monumentally to fit in and perform consistently. Yes, he is over-rated. He isn't the next David Beckham. He obviously believes he is far better than he is and therefore attempts to play like he's word class from distorted memories and what he thinks people expect to see of a superstar rather than just play a simple and productive game. Such is the power of confidence (and the decimation of it) that he can't even achieve the basics that came easy to him prior to his move.

As much maligned as he is and regardless of whether he is or isn't worth £15M or so, he does have ability and he can do a job for us. Personal problems aside, he has to stop feeling sorry for himself. The groans and frustrations from home fans will be replaced with cheers and applause the moment he gets stuck in and doesn't try so damn hard to be something he is not.

Bentley is a good player. Not a great one. It's not lost on us that he 'loves the club' (he does, he said so) and wants to be successful at Spurs. He seems genuine enough, but it's inconsequential to what's produced on the pitch if his head is in the clouds. If he wants to succeed he has to believe it.

One bright thing the arrival of Bentley has achieved is the resurgence of Lennon's form. Having both players on top form would mean competitiveness within the squad, inspiring players to excel. Something we've lacked in abundance so often in the past. Not that Aaron needs to look over his shoulders at the moment.

Caption Competition: Robbie and Pascal

2009-03-08T17:56:00.002Z

Pascal reacts a little bit too excitedly to Robbie's David Bentley impersonation

Sunderland 1 Spurs 1 - Keane to the rescue

2009-03-08T17:11:00.023Z

Once upon a time Sunderland were the ones scoring dramatic last minute equalisers to dent Tottenham’s Champions League hopes. Yesterday it was our turn for a late goal to help add to the tally of points that will surely see us safe come the final day of the season.

Loads of possession yesterday, some decent build up play but a quality final ball dinked in was missing for large patches of the game which meant apart from a King effort well saved and Bent ballooning the ball over when one-on-one with the keeper, we did well to stay in the game with Sunderland squandering a few chances of their own. It's refreshing to see us claiming a late goal in our favour for once.

Obviously, we went 1-0 down within a couple of minutes. But considering how often we seem to get bullied away against the more physical teams I can’t complain too much about how we went about our business yesterday after Richardson scored. Boro stood off and let us play football on Wednesday night. There was no chance Sunderland would do the same. They don’t make it easy for anyone up there. And typically, we made it easier for them with our lacklustre start to the game.

Defensively we were not great. And as mentioned, the final ball was not always to the required standard. And although Redknapp exaggerates a little with his ‘we dominated’ assessment, we were good for the point and deservedly got it with Keane’s smart late finish.

I know we have tired legs and Harry has done a good job getting us through the congested fixture list, but playing Chimbonda at left-back was never going to be productive. Hutton is back soon. Would like to see him slot into right-back and Corluka at centre-back and Chimbonda can be used for either RB or CB if required. Let BAE and Bale battle it out for LB. Utility player or not Pascal might be able to slot into the LB position but having no left foot means it’s a bit like asking a eunuch to star in a porn movie. The additional chorus of boos that followed every touch he made didn’t make it a comfortable afternoon for him. Still, he muddled through. Not sure why he wasn’t started at right back and Corluka slotted into left back (he didn’t do too shabby there against Liverpool). Harry did rectify this cometh the 75th minute mark.

Gomes gave us one moment of ‘oh shit oh shit oh shit’ when he came but failed to make contact with the ball. But was otherwise untested. Sunderland’s other efforts, including one from a superb Andy Reid cross that Cisse failed to turn in, were half chances at best.

Lennon did his thing. Always find he can get the opposition fullback yellow-carded quite easily with his tricks and turns, but needs to go in for the kill more often and get them sent-off. Can't believe this hasn't been drilled into him by the manager. His crosses hit far too many defenders. A slight off day for the menacing wing magician. Modric was quiet, but still in an attacking sense, our other best outlet.

Huddlestone (such a great passer of the ball, but just so damn immobile – can we ever make more use of him?) came on for Jenas (who was neither great or average - just stuck somewhere in the middle). Bentley (decent effort) and Pav also on towards the end.

Palacios was a bit on the quiet side.

We kept plugging away and from a Sunderland corner/penalty claim all the way to the other end of the pitch that saw Bent cross in for Keane to hit a half volley into the ground which gave Fulop no chance and to give us a point.

And as for fans favourite Darren Bent, if they handed out points for players who run around constantly he’d be top of the table. But that’s not enough. It’s frustrating that when he had the chance to score (divot or no divot) he struck the ball high above the bar. But then again, he’ll get double the amount of moans and groans aimed at him because of who he is. We all know Robbie misses his fair share of opportunities. But Robbie does score important goals and does contribute substantially more. Bent has more negatives with this game than he has in the way of positive attributes. I don’t believe the ball bobbled. It was a shocking miss. But we survived. And he can be happy with the assist.

As for Sunderland, just worth mentioning that Jones looked fairly average and the £15M price tag a joke. Steed created, much like Andy Reid did. The latter defining gravity with his movement and his knack for a quality ball. I half expect the ground below him to give way and swallow up his plumb rounded figure, but it doesn't. Probably because Reid would swallow up the ground if he fell towards it, mouth open, knife and fork in hands. An appetiser before his post-match all-you-can-eat buffet.

One other thing I’d like to mention. Did anyone catch Football First? Big shout out to Barry Horne and his laughable bias commentary. If anyone watched the internet stream live they would had heard him complain about Robbie Keane waving an imaginary card at Steed and the ref which was a direct reaction to Steed waving it first. Horne completely ignored this and instead banged on about Keane and that he should be booked for demanding a yellow for Steed. The commentary was littered with some embarrassing sound bites.

Villa up next. They’re struggling a bit, but it’s still going to take a more confident display defensively to get something out of it. I’ve still got us down with picking up a few shock points away from home in our remaining fixtures.

5 points from the mire. 5 points from Europe. It's absolutely ridiculous and in classic Tottenham-fan mode, I ask myself, what if...........what if we didn't have that atrocious start to the season? In fact, what if Spurs displayed the type of commitment and effort Villa have for most of the season? Next year, yeah?

Respect Sol Campbell? Thanks, but no thanks

2009-03-06T15:41:00.008Z

I said I would not refer back to this, but it seems that Sol Campbell and his chums in the media won't let go, so here we are again. It's a reflex of mine to react like this even when I know in my heart of hearts that my time is better spent drinking from a bottle of rum and grooming my Ricky Villa beard. But the tabloids are at it again.

The Daily Mirror yesterday run a story entitled 'Why Tottenham Fans should respect Sol Campbell as a true servant to football'.

The story initially concentrates on promoting a campaign he has set up (Kids Go Live) which aims to get children aged from seven to eleven to experience more live sport (football, hockey, horse riding - are examples listed). Its a campaign which has government backing and is personally funded by the player. Good luck to him.

But rather than just concentrate on the campaign itself, the author of the piece (John Cross) can't quite decide what the article should focus on. He starts digging his hole with some rather oh so obvious Solesque friendly statements which turn the article into yet another pro-Campbell is Great propaganda piece that paints the player as a humble, quiet man who is the paradox of modern day PR obsessed footballers. Bit like Paul Scholes. Although he's ginger and therefore not newsworthy.

The irony is of course laughable. Campbell and his PR machine are masters of the subtle touch.

The piece includes some info about what he likes (photography) and his love of films and market stalls and a couple of iconic name drops (Spike Lee and Denzel Washington). All wishy washy soundbites that contain not an iota of insight. It's like reading a textbook profile from a online dating website. But it serves its purpose in promoting Campbell.

He still harbours a desire to play abroad and live a different culture and venture into management after he's retired from kicking a ball about. Apparently this makes him 'a bit different' because he isn't falling out of a club smashed out of his head. He is then compared with Graeme Le Saux and that players who don't have a WAG and a Bentley are singled out for abuse by fans.

I work with a couple of pretentious people who read broadsheets. They get singled out (I just did it by calling them pretentious), in the same way they single out The Sun readers in the office. Welcome to Planet Earth and the bullyboy culture. Maybe Le Saux was singled out because he was a git regardless of his reading material?

Football might be this big bad brash heterosexual its a mans man game, but we all know different. It's not the 70's and 80's anymore. We just conform to a stereotype and just about get away with it. It's easier to box things up in black and white (excuse the terrible pun). Football stands are not quite an intellectual forum of discussion and discourse, are they? Even if they do manage to birth some splendid moments of comic genius in the way of non-offensive chants and banners. I guess that stereotype for many of us is acting the caveman when in fact we all take a cheeky look at a broadsheet from time to time.

Of course, there is still an element that is stuck in the past and take themselves far too seriously, with no grasp of what is right and wrong.

The article obviously does the unsurprising thing of dragging back the 'racist and homophobic' story that caused such a stir in the aftermath of the chanting that took place at the Pompey v Spurs game that led to several mug shots of Spurs fans appearing on the Most Wanted list.

Which is the reason for my reflex and this blog article.

This (the racist and homophobic chanting), according to Cross, is punishment for leaving Spurs on a Bosman. We are then given some trivia about his England career and that just because Campbell isn't spotted with a Page 3 bird doesn't mean he should be subjected to mindless chanting.

'Family man' Campbell should not be singled out for this type of abuse. And I agree. But lets not lose sight of the facts. A minority sang those chants. The majority don't include racism and homophobic chanting when telling Campbell what they think of him.

The article then mentions one or two other high profile players as examples of professionals who are also subjected to similar chants. Not that you will ever hear any of the players complain about it in casual newspaper articles or proceed to bang on about it for years and years. Cross highlights an example of an Arsenal fan calling a Fulham player a 'f**king poof'', yet the article still manages to end with a reference to Tottenham fans. But then the whole article is an exercise in the Campbell is good, Spurs fans are bad agenda.

You can read the piece in it's entirety here and make your own mind up. Cross ends it with the following: "Boo him, hate him, whatever. But don't abuse him".

Ok. Thanks for the permission and clarification. Can I quote you next time Spurs play Pompey? Try taking the average football supporter aside and define what constitutes the difference in hate and abuse when being actively vocal at a football match.

I don't condone racism or homophonic chanting. The Lunacy song that caused so much unwanted publicity was distasteful, but a court of law did not deem it either racist or homophonic. Possibly because its so ambiguous and impossible to prove one way or another. The Spurs fans arrested and charged were done so (in the end) for singing more simple and crude chants. The type that police and stewards and players and the media have not deemed newsworthy in the past. Although if the intent is of a certain over the top and vindictive nature, then you deserve to get done. Whether they would have got done if the player had not made an official complaint is altogether another thing.

Not suggesting by the way that the Lunacy song is now ok to sing. It isn't. Spurs and the police act on it if they witness anyone stupid enough to burst into song. But the song is not what its made out to be by Campbell and some quarters of the media. I'm referring to the insulting and ridiculous suggestion that Spurs fans are aware of racist connotations relating to having black people from trees in 'racist America' a number of years ago. And that we are singling out the player because he is black and that's the reason we hate him.

<--- Insert tumbleweed here --->

Bullshit. Regardless, a way for us to avoid these accusations being made in the first place is to not sing the song full stop. Hum it. Don't sing it.

As a simple note to Cross and Campbell, even though I think Spurs fans should move on and forget about him, the majority won't because they know that the booing and hatred still gets to Campbell on the pitch and affects his game. And for that reason, it's justified to boo and scream non-racist and non-homophobic chants in his direction.

The Pièce de résistance however is when Cross calls him a footballer with a conscience. Comedy gold right there from our Mirror journo.

All I see is a former Spurs youth player and first team captain, Mr Tottenham Hotspur (that's the name he gave himself) who couldn't keep his mouth shut about wanting to stay at the club and wanting to sign a new contract because he loved the club so much. A player who loved the club so much he left on a free transfer screwing us out of millions and then walked up the Seven Sisters and joined Arsenal, picking up a nice signing on bonus and then genuinely expecting Spurs fans to forgive and forget.

Do I sound bitter? Maybe I do. But I'm just sticking to the timeline and facts. Campbell would have still been hated if he had joined Arsenal but not as bad had he left like Carrick did for a massive fee and without the lies and deception that came before his departure. I say 'not as bad' but you know what I mean.

There is no integrity to be found in his soul, and it doesn't matter how many times he attempts to prove otherwise via the tabloids.

Remember his first return to WHL after he joined Arsenal? Remember the level of noise aimed at him every time he went near the ball? No homophobia or racism. Just 30,000 or so Spurs fans screaming hatred. It rattled him. However his response post-match was to call Spurs fans racist and thus that was the sole reason why he was being booed.

"What did I do?" has been the look on his face since his move away from N17. He honestly believes he has done nothing wrong.

As for Spurs fans being racist? No wonder Ledley King hardly ever plays for us. And that Lennon, we hate him too, lucky he can run so fast. And as for Jenas, it's not because he's so bloody inconsistent that we scream out expletives when he loses the ball or misplaces a pass - its because of the colour of his skin. Exfoliate damn it Jermaine, exfoliate!

<--- insert family of tumbleweed here --->

Do one Campbell. You too Cross.

Campbell is an absolute melter of the highest order and as much as Spurs fans bring it on themselves for living in the past and singing songs about him, he needs to stand tall and look the other way and just ignore it instead of constantly attempting to justify why we are the guilty ones.

Sticks and stones.

I should probably follow my own advice and look the other way too next time a red top runs a similar non-event article.

Why should Tottenham Fans respect Sol Campbell as a true servant to football? Don't ask the Daily Mirror. They don't quite have the answer.

Ding dong, Spurs are on song

2009-03-05T16:06:00.019Z

Smoggie, Tranporter Bridge, James Cook, Paul Daniels, drug dealers, Roy Chubby Brown, youths with no front teeth, town not a city, the Parmo, Chris Rea - can you hear me, Chris Rea! Your boys took one hell of a beating! Your boys took one hell of beating!

Four goals. Clean sheet. Some more than decent passing and movement. Lennon (still) on fire. Modric pulling the strings. Keane off the mark. Pulling away from the drop zone. Three wins from a UEFA Cup spot. Knighthood on the cards for Redknapp. Opus available for £19.99 at the club shop. Bent playing down the middle of the pitch. Daniel Levy retires from football.

Ok, getting a little carried away. Back to reality.

4-0 win. Excellent response from the players. With so many games sandwiched together this past 2 weeks, Boro (much like Sunderland on Saturday) probably fancied their chances against a half-tired Spurs team welcoming back the 'rested' Keane and Palacios (Woody also declared fit for duty). Even though Boro started brightly anytime Lennon got hold of the ball and whizzed forward you sensed we'd be scoring goals and it was simply a case of how many based on how many we would concede in order to come out on top, because we are bound to concede, right? Well no, wrong.

Tuncay had opportunities and a disallowed goal. Downing, very early on, gave it a go to no avail. It was soon apparent that Boro's victory over Liverpool had more to do with Rafas men being outstandingly poor rather than Southgate masterminding a genius result.

We went one up thanks to Keane being left unmarked at the far post and after the disallowed Tuncay let-off, made it two with Modric (ooh that dummy!) laying it on for Pav and then three before half-time with Lennon notching his first after a wonderful passing move that included some great possession football.

Obviously, Boro being shit isn't enough of a guarantee for us to simply show up to claim the points. We're a soft touch at the best of times. In games like this we need to turn up and turn it on. And we did just that. Got lucky at the back a couple of times, but there was confident football on display, and a bit of hunger and desire going forward. Wasn't by any stretch of the imagination a dominating victory but it was a reminder of the quality we do possess and what happens when we knock it around with a little bit of swagger. And yes, it was still Boro and up and coming opposition won't be this easy to pull apart.

But a win was required and a win is what the players and management gave us, so well done to all.

Sunderland away up next (which no doubt will be a bruising encounter) is where we need to show another side to our digging deep ethos. An ethos missing for the best part of the season from one week to the next. Harry, who is much maligned for his soundbites, is probably quietly aiming for us to finish as high as possible, but will continue to downplay it for greater effect. As long as the players know that beating Boro was simply one step in the right direction.

What makes this season a complete mockery is that as mediocre as we've been on so many many occasions, we are still a handful of points adrift of West Ham who have only won 3 more games than us all season. And they're meant to be having a good one. And yet two defeats might see us pulled back into the mire at the bottom. A fully confident swashbuckling Spurs side wouldn't have a single Spurs fan worried about the relegation scrap. Half a swashbuckling side will see us right. We've got more than half at the minute. Harry has to make sure the expectation level is just about right to see us through to the final game.

The fact we didn't disgrace ourselves at Wembley proves we can still muster up the big day occasion too, and even though we have some tricky opposition ahead of us, I'm certain we'll compete and pick up some unexpected points. It was nice to see us compete against the lesser opposition last night. Bread and butter.

Back to the game, Boro came back in the second half with us a just a little on the back foot, but still didn't stop us notching up a 4th. Happy days.

Lennon's burst of pace and his trademark mazy runs. Modric's dummy for the Pav goal. Both stuck smiles back on the faces of the faithful.

BAE continues to impress. Pavyluchenko's work ethic is also under-rated (he'll be twice the player once he's 100% after the summer). Darren Bent however just doesn't do it for me. I'm not the only person to note he's always wondering to wide positions. Jenas was quiet, Palacios good but not great (saving that extra bit of energy for the games ahead) and Keane showing us a glimpse of what we've been missing. All in all, some individuals excelled, whilst others didn't have to bother.

Well done. We needed that. We need it again on Saturday.

The Astonishing Spurs Men

2009-03-04T12:47:00.011Z

Welcome to the Levy Institute for Mediocre Learning, formerly the Levy School for Ungifted Players. The worldwide headquarters of the S-Corporation.

These uncanny S-Men in their white and blue uniforms do not do anything by chance. They’re the result of a sudden back step in footballing evolution, latent with inconsistent abilities which generally manifest themselves in games against lesser opposition.

Outsiders harbour an intense laughter fit for these Spurs players (Homo Inferiors), who are regarded by a number of TV pundits and message board users as the epitome of average and are thus widely viewed as a non-event threat-wise to the Big Four (© Sky Sports).

The S-Men have been funded by the benevolent Professor Daniel Levy who has been at the helm of the academy for several years now, overseeing the training of young over-priced players with exaggerated potentials with the misguided agenda to help protect them from the evil that is the all-seeing Wengeto, the rich and brutal Head-Hunters and other threats like away games, hotel food and relegation.

Professor L has what he believes to be an astonishing rota of Spurs players, formally aided by the scouting super-computer Cerebrolli which helped him detect over-rated players the world over. The S-Men flatter to deceive. Without spirit, guile and pride they ghost through 90 minutes, a shadow of their potential and their black and white forefathers.

This is...

T H E ~ S – M E N

“I’m the best at what I do, but what I do isn’t very good” – Jelverine

Professor L

Species: Chairman
Notable aliases: Daniel Levy, The Master of Money, The Accountant
Abilities: Using mind control has the ability to manipulate the masses into buying over-priced merchandise and other clubs into giving him inflated amounts of money for unwanted members of the team. Memory manipulation via official club statements allows him to re-write past events and avoid prolonged backlashes when removing a manager. Is able to exponentially fund the Institute with special DVD releases of score draws and the £4000 coffee-table Opus. Inventor of The Foundation which is a weapon of mass destruction that is used to punish those who dare attempt to outsmart him. There's uncertainty over what his true agenda is.

The Escapist

Species: Manager
Notable aliases: Harry Redknapp, Houdini, Judas, The Tick
Abilities: The overseer of curricula and academic aspects, teaching the science of football and the complex mathematics of passing the ball from one white shirt to another. Capable of reality warping, manifested as probability alteration and magic; Redknapp has altered reality with the three simple words “Down to barebones” on numerous occasions. However, the reality warp fades after a short time, leaving him with an uphill struggle to once more achieve a miracle before he can regain the power to muster up another realtity warp. Is also able to teleport from one location to the next in a blink of an eye.

Incapable

Species: Defensive Midfield
Notable aliases: Didier Zokora, Carrick Replacement, Holding midfielder, International class
Abilities: Self absorption of own footballing skills through mere contact with other professional players, be it his own team mates or the opposition, and through simple contact with the ball. The longer on the pitch the longer Zokora retains the loss of his footballing skills. If he remains on the pitch long enough the absorption spreads to his fellow team members and results in team-wide failure. This potentially fatal power prevents him from making true contact with the ball, hence the diabolical first touch. Is also able to run with the ball at locomotive speeds in one direction and dance.

The Enigma

Species: Forward
Notable aliases: Darren Bent
Abilities: Instinctively struggles to know present location on field and loses all sense of positional awareness the moment he steps out on it thanks to the generation of magnetic fields used to manipulate the space around him so that he is constantly isolated and nowhere near the run of play. Can still muster up a goal from nothing, via a deflection/lucky bounce/poor back pass/off his shin.

Starjump

Species: Midfielder
Notable aliases: David Bentley, The New Beckham
Abilities: The pin up boy of the S-Men and a former member of The Arsenal Club. Can kick balls into rubbish tips from great distance. Has the ability of copying others who possess superhuman powers and abilities (David Beckham being the energy source he attempts to tap into). But possession of these astronomical abilities have yet to materialise other than one particular creative bomb launched from centre-midfield that silenced his former team-mates at the Emirates. Confident, assured and assertive off the pitch, non-existent on it. Does look good with hair highlights.

Jinxy

Species: Left-back, left-midfielder
Notable aliases: Gareth Bale, The Hoodoo
Abilities: Incredible 'bad-luck' through subconscious manipulation of quantum probability on the pitch. Signature weapon allows him to create a vortex that sucks all possibility of victory into it and sends it to oblivion forever.

Mercenary

Species: Fullback
Notable aliases: Pascal Chimbonda, Shimbomba
Abilities: Master thief, using his hypnotic charm into making others around him think he is a far better player than he is and thus getting minted with the aid of the illusion. No secret he wanted to leave the S-Men, and found himself swaggering his way out of the Institute to Sunderland and then back again. Has the ability to change the course of a football match by trying to dribble his way out of his own penalty area which results with the opposition gaining advantage.

Flapper

Species: Goalkeeper
Notable aliases: Gomes, ffs
Abilities: Exquisite sense of footballing geometry. High sense of spatial awareness that allows him to position himself into impossibly stupid positions giving him no chance of getting the ball. Fires concussive long balls to forwards. A master strategist and tactician at master-stroking a loss of at least 10 points per season down to his ability to create a goal out of nothing for the opposition. Ability to cause nausea, disorientation and unconsciousness - usually self-inflicted. Has comic awareness and forever ‘breaks the fourth wall’, as he smiles to the audience as they all ask ‘What the fuck are you doing now?’

Jerlverine

Species: Box-to-box Midfielder
Notable aliases: Jermaine Jenas, The Goldfish, Jenius, potentially world-class
Abilities: Regenerative healing factor that allows him to be selected again and again and again and again. Strength, stamina, agility and reflexes in abundance but due to his jelly-laced skeletal structure is prone to disappearing on the field of play (not to be confused with invisibility). Simply fails to stand up when faced with true advisory. Also possesses retractable ‘claws’ otherwise known as his feet, which retract in one-on-one situations, penalty taking, retrieving second balls and crunching tackles. Recently went missing (was he injured or did he venture out in a mission of self-discovery?) allegedly returning to the scene of the clandestine project in Nottingham which turns unwilling beings into footballers.

Cumbersome

Species: Midfielder Notable aliases: Tom Huddlestone, The New Hoddle, The Future
Abilities: Ability to transform his body into immovable steel, granting him zero mobility and durability as he loses himself between the midfield and his own penalty area unable to defend or attack. Can pass the ball, much like any other half decent midfielder is capable of. Can hit the ball ‘sweetly’, much like any other half decent midfielder is capable of. Requires healthy portions of Ketchup and mayo with his food to help retain abilities.

There we have it. The S-Men. There are others but this particular group are the endangered species. These S-Men are fighting for their very survival and self-respect with the single ambition to succeed expectations.

Will they help avoid decimation and extinction?

Stay tuned to find out.

Stand up for your right....to stand up at football matches

2009-03-03T13:06:00.006Z

Spoken to a number of people since the Cup final on Sunday and I've heard various accounts of Spurs fans arguing and in some instances fighting amongst themselves. Ironic that before kick off I was chatting to the Old Bill and one officer in particular who has to police the Millwall home games. He spoke about how Millwall fans just fight each other if opposing fans don't offer a challenge.

"They just fight for the sake of it. It's like something from the 80's. We're hoping they don't get promoted this season"

He also said it was a welcome break to be surrounded by 'proper fans'. Obviously, he'd have changed his mind a little if he witnessed one or two of the scuffles that took place in the ground after kick-off. It’s nothing new. I've witnessed it at away games on several occasions.

Some people want to stand and watch the game. Others want to sit.

Obviously, you'll find fathers of kids protesting for obvious reasons if the people in front are standing up. And in some parts of the ground, making most of the seat you’ve paid for is the only reasonable thing to do simply because of the distance you are to the pitch. But down in the lower tiers and behind the goal, it’s altogether a different culture. It’s almost a necessity to stand. Singing when sitting on your bum is ridiculous. And let’s face it, when your team drives forward, everyone gets off their seats in anticipation of a goal anyway. Sitting down only ever seems to happen out of pure boredom if the game is inciting sleep.

I was 'sat' in block 134 and spent the entirety of the game standing up, with practically everyone around me doing the same thing, but then we're behind the goal so its almost expected to be the case much like it is at the Park Lane end at White Hart Lane and various other grounds across the country. Nobody asks anyone to sit down because its just the way it is.

It's a ridiculous situation to have fans turn on each other. No idea what the police and steward response time was for all the pockets of punch-ups that broke out. But I’ll come back to this in a moment.

So what about a resolution? Designated standing areas would work a treat for people who want to stand at games. Can't fathom why it’s such a major headache for clubs and stewards to cater for. We get the usual 'sit down or lose your seat' propaganda at Spurs with a little emotional blackmail thrown in about how the council could close down stands us punishment to the club for fans persistently standing.

Is it to do with fire hazard regulations? Health and Safety? If you're sat down, you'll have to bleeding well stand up to leave the stand anyway. The fact there are seats at games means over-crowding is impossible, so what's the problem? Not a single Wembley steward at any point in time walked over to ask us to sit down. Was it because we stood behind the goal near the pitch and not high up in the Gods? If so, is this admittance that’s its actually ok for fans to stand up at games and stewards and police don’t bother with a polite ‘sit down please’?

Elsewhere, if it’s not permitted (up in the Gods or upper tiers) I can understand why it would be a nuisance to the majority if a minority stand. Stewards should be enforcing the policy that in those areas, people must be sat down. Allowing people to stand will lead to other fans asking them to sit, which then leads to arguments and fights. So all the pockets of punch ups that occurred on Sunday could have been stopped if stewards and police acted more responsible by instructing people to sit.

Time for clubs to listen to the fans. Some of us want to stand. It makes for better atmosphere. And the best place for it is behind the goals. If its made known this is an official designated ‘standing area’ of the ground and a no-standing policy is policed in other areas of the ground, then people will respect that. Considering alcohol can no longer be consumed in view of the pitch (works fine in Germany) and at times supporters can be punished for colourful language and get charged a small fortune for the privilege, I think it’s time we had some slack cut for us.

Or maybe I should accept defeat and admit that going to the football is no longer the escapism it once was and is instead neatly packaged family oriented entertainment for the middle class that like their ribs and wine at half time.

Don't fret....there's always next year

2009-03-02T18:11:00.010Z

Carling Cup? Never rated it anyway. Mickey Mouse competition.

Sigh.

So here we are, the day after a cup final defeat. Feels a little bit shitty, doesn't it? I despise penalty shoot-outs. Damn you Champions League and the death of cup replays. I guess technically speaking we didn't actually lose (DVD release imminent?). The 'reserve' edition of the best club in the world couldn't beat us in open play. Rejoice!

As for those pesky pens. Not sure why O'Hara took the first one. He got it on target at least. Foster and his ipod will haunt him for a while yet I'm sure. He wears his heart on his sleeve does Jamie, so no doubting the reception he'll get on Wednesday will lift him. As for David Bentley, his scoffed shot sums up his season perfectly. An embarrassment of a mis-hit. But top drawer players as well as the ones lacking form are equally likely to miss or score on such an occasion. Well, discounting the ones in red. It's just so bloody typical a player with a decent shot on him completely mis-kicks the ball in the manner he did. And doubly typical that given a chance for a little redemption he cocks it up. I blame those star jumps. Penalty aside, he made little impact on the pitch when he did come on.

Harry looking good in the suit Ramos left behind

Think it was pretty obvious we'd lose this after extra-time ended. Pessimism gave me a tap on the shoulder and wink of despair. Shame though, because on the day neither side deserved to go home empty handed based on effort and opportunities. Someone obviously does. Obviously. And alas it was us.

Never thought the game would go the full distance based on the opening 15 minutes. United took us apart, but we got into the game and after that possession was shared fairly equally with both sides creating chances. Not the best Cup final, but it gave us plenty of gasps.

United might have launched one or two screamers towards goal, but we had our moments too. Mostly from the lickle boy Lennon who had an outstanding day out. Yes, the end product isn't perfect, but the mazzy runs are. Modric also superb - and both players could have had a Wembley moment to saviour. Shame we had to sub Aaron. Adel would have had a lot of fun out there with his tricks and clever feet and it's a shame he didn't get a cameo.

View from my seat

The much maligned Bent had an effort on goal. Run around a lot, usually in the wrong direction. Spiffing stuff. Pav ballsed up a couple of chances including one that come from a sweet pass from a locomotive Zokora bursting down the middle of the pitch. Zoko was mightily impressive. Where is this version of the player 95% of the time when required in the bread and butter games? As for Pav - he should not have been subbed. 4-5-1 grates me. And although he spooned a couple of efforts, we looked more structured with two up front. Harry might have got this wrong.

Ronaldo entertained with his usual dramatics, falling over whenever he was 'touched' by a Lilywhite. Chris Foy, our esteemed referee, made up for various inconsistencies by yellow-carding the winker. Penalty? Nope. Was already heading for the ground when King clipped him. Talking of cards, O'Shea should have walked but Mr Foy decided otherwise. Seems certain fouls at certain points in the game are worthy of a yellow but punishment for a similar foul to a player already on a yellow - wearing red - is not. Bah, who cares. Happens all the time. Fergie was obviously worried thus replacing him for Vidic. Who was superb. Talking of defenders, so was King and Ferdinand. And Dawson who has made a miraculous return to consistent form (his distribution is crap but I still love him).

Neither side had that cutting edge or bit of luck to claim glory inside 120 minutes. Anyone surprised that Utd won the toss to have the pens in front of their own fans? And the toss to select who takes the first pen? Footballing Gods, damn you.

Get the pen on target and you can't really complain that much if it fails to go in. If the keeper guesses right, he has a chance of saving it. If the pen taker strikes it with power or places it, then the keeper has no chance. I guess, if you practise them and have the confidence (and don't lose your bottle) you have a chance. More than a chance. At the purest simplistic level, penalty taking should be easy. Aim for the part of the goal that the keeper has no chance of getting to. If only it was that simple. It's 99% about mentality. That's where it's won.

Don't think we stood a chance to be perfectly honest. Don't quite grasp why Bent wasn't taking the first kick. I guess it's fairly evident we don't have many penalty takers in the side. Bentley continues to scapegoat himself towards public enemy number one. Take a bow son. Jenas must be smiling. Although no frowning for JJ yesterday. He too impressed making it a WTF double with him and Didier doing the biz. Although one or two fans in the stands seemed to nitpick a little too much on Jenas. I thought he showed spirit, if lacking in box-2-box creative enterprise.

Wembley mocks me with its sad smile

Oh well, there is always next season. We gave it some. Played like a team, some decent approach play and some almost moments that had my heart sat firmly in my mouth.

Other random highlights:

Man Utd fans leaving after the winning penalty. I find that quite hilarious. Witnessing the lifting of a two-bob cup not as vital as that train back to Surrey, hey?
Had a conversation with a police officer inside the stadium prior to the game. Pleasant chap, not into football. He usually has to settle for Millwall home games every other week the poor sod. "Nice to see some proper fans" he said to me. I told him that's not usually what others would call us, but I accepted the compliment.
The Fanometer. Football dies a little more.

Onwards we go to our third successive Cup final, following on from yesterday and the Hull win the week before.

Boro at home. My knees and Harry's face still trembling.

From the horses mouth: Spurs players are thick

2009-02-28T20:54:00.006Z

Anyone catch ~~that paragon of comedy genius~~ Soccer AM this morning? There's a segment on it called Team Mates that has questions posed to a player or players from the same club asking them who the club joker is, the biggest moaner, most skilful etc etc.

Darren Bent and Michael Dawson answered the questions today, which included 'Chimbonda' when both were asked to inform us of the 'Worst trainer' at the club. He has apparently got worse than he was prior to his move to Sunderland. Lovely stuff. He's also the biggest cock at the club. No need to stand next to him in the shower to know that.

Robbie Keane is the biggest moaner believe it or not. Palacios the club hard man (who tackles as hard in training as he does in a proper match) and Adel the most skilful. Woody is the club joker, which is surprising because I've always found that Zokora in the middle of the park makes me laugh till my sides split.

The most telling moment however came when the question "Who is the most intelligent?" was asked. Darren Bent responded with the gem:

"We're a little bit of a thick team so I can't think of too many people that are intelligent!"

And on that bombshell.......

Encore? Not likely - Phantom UEFA dream is over

2009-02-27T15:30:00.004Z

I didn't watch the game on Thursday evening. Instead, I found myself sat at Her Majesty's Theatre in row B (there is no row A by the way, the orchestra is sandwiched between us and the stage). The Phantom of the Opera (two and a half hours including the interval) was endured by my good self and my partner thanks largely to, well me, after purchasing tickets for her as a present at Xmas. I didn't consider checking the fixture list prior to the booking. A lapse that didn't bother me as much as I would have hoped.

As I watched the tragic tale of the opera ghost unfold I couldn't help draw parallels between his existence and Tottenham's.

The Phantom is a genius composer. A magician, who hides behind a white mask.
Spurs have had their moments of genius. And a magician or two. But we too are always hiding. Behind past glories.

I'm pushing it a little with this parallel angle, aren't I? Work with me. I'm low on creative juice at the minute.

In Act II there's a jolly old sing-a-long by the name of Masquerade.

Masquerade! Hide your face, so the world will never find you!

I half expected David Bentley to swan across the stage floor with a can of Red Bull in his hand.

The Phantom himself is a grim, depressive and manic nut-job, which best describes most of our fans. I'm joking guys, just joking. Apart from you-lot-in-the-you-know-what stand. You guys kill me.

His (the Phantom) erraticness does interestingly enough have some rather Jenasesque qualities (our very own phantom of the Lane), especially some of the shrugs and head in hand holding towards the end of the show. I almost stood up and yelled 'believe in yourself lad', but thankfully this played out only in my head.

One of the set-pieces during the show involved a chandelier that comes crashing down to earth. A nice visual analogy for our hopes and ambitions which sit high up in the rafters, illuminating, before sabotage makes gravity's life easy. Waiting for it to be restored it to its original grandeur has been the bane of our lives.

No phone reception inside the theatre so it wasn't until the conclusion of Act II and a swift exit outside into the cold London night that I got the chance to browse to the final scores on my trusted Nokia.

1-1 FT. Not the most exciting scoreline.

Wasn't disappointed because my expectations were never high. But this morning, having now regained a rather nifty 8Mb connection at my new residence, I had a gander at one or two write-up's and from the sounds of it the cello-taped together side fielded by our chief in command came pretty close to causing an upset.

Gio scored a belter. O'Hara industrious. Obika a rugged force up-front. Apparently Gilberto was very good (although I'll need more than 5 people to confirm this before I believe it). Huddlestone spaying balls about. Bale a revelation in midfield. The referee a git all over the field. The man with the whistle disallowing a penalty that would have surely inspired the young side to push on.

But you know this already, as you've seen the game/highlights whilst as I'm still humming The Music of the Night and skipping around the flat on my toes.

However other reports suggest that the performance was far from great. Huddlestone, pedestrian. Bale not looking out of place alongside academy players. Chimbonda, a bit rubbish. All a bit low key apparently.

So was the game worth the effort for the fans who did attend? Please do share your insight. The Sun seemed to like our performance, so who am I to question their integrity? Rhetorical, don't answer.

I'm still relatively busy with unpacking boxes and at the minute patiently waiting for the Sky engineer to come round and do his thing, so I'm still part-time blogging. Sunday is now in everyone's mind and I'm looking forward to dislocating myself from the shoulder of league football as we (hope) to do our bestest against the Man Utd reserves with special guest appearances from a few superstar first teamers, I'm sure . I'll pop it back in after the final whistle. Hopefully won't be too painful.

Fingers crossed Spurs can remove their mask to reveal no disfigurement. Just a pure unmarked face of beauty. What I mean is, I hope we turn up, turn it on and dick 'em. A bit like last time out against Chelsea. No disappearing into nothingness thank you very much.

Berbatov is not in the squad for the final. But Vidic, Ferdinand, Nani, Ronaldo, Giggs, Carrick, Scholes, Tevez and Rooney all are. Along with one or two other first team players.

No Keane or Wilson for us and Frazier Campbell can't play due to the loan agreement. Bet you're gutted about that last one. Darren Bent is available and in the squad. If he scores the winner, I'll stick him in my good books until the next league game where, believe me, I'll go back to slating him. The good for nothing no spark no creative juice one dimensional Raziak clone. I hate you Darren Bent.....do ya hear me? I hate you and your self-satisfying goal ratio!

Predictions? It's a one off, so the game is likely to be far closer than most might expect. Then again, depends on the team Fergie starts with and how our lot react to it. We do love these types of occasions. Players find it more comfortable to raise their game and perform in a Cup final than let's say a six-pointer at the depths of the Premier League.

So COYS, up the Spurs, let's do it again etc etc. Write us up another glorious page for the next revision of the Opus.

Spurs overhull City to claim Cup final victory

2009-02-24T13:01:00.012Z

Woodgate header, 2-1, winning goal. We've been here before haven't we? No fireworks at the final whistle this time round, but the importance of claiming the three points practically pushes this result into open bus parade territory.

Spurs have been to Hull and back. No glory football here. First half performance was gash, only highlight a rather deliciously curled opening goal from Lennon who had all the time in the world to blast it in, but preferred instead to add a little gloss to proceedings and show off some of that end product he has plucked from the frustrating realm of eternal potential. He remains our one bright spark in the dark gloomy basement that the past year has been. Hull's equaliser was assisted by Calamity Cudicini (Gomes must be jealous) who fumbled the ball, allowing for an easy slot to make it 1 a piece.

Dodgy at set pieces, less than confident goal-keeping. Here we go again, right? No, wrong. Rather than losing the game in the final moments, Woody planted his head on the ball to give us one of those rare moments. An away win. Fantasy football. School boys own stuff. Jumpers for goalposts.

Thoughts and prayers for Hull City who haven't won for 10 league games. Their dizzying holiday towards the top of the table nothing more than a distant memory. They can now consider themselves invited to the relegation party down at the bottom.

Thankfully as Hull walk through the front door with a bottle of cheap wine, we've managed to escape from the prank that saw us locked in the downstairs toilet to standing a little easier in the kitchen, which everyone knows is the best place to be at a party....even a party as depressing as this one. We need to focus now and try to flirt with the attractive lass giving us the eye. She's leaning up against the middle of the table, showing us a bit of leg. Boy would we like to climb up that leg. She's no babe, not like some of those top class European birds at the party up the road, but she'll do. Beggars can't be choosers. Aim to impress her with a little charm and slick moves and we'll be out the front door, into a taxi, and back at hers for a coffee leaving this party of losers behind. Now and again, it's ok to play ugly if it gets the right result.

We've now got the interference of the second leg of the UEFA Cup game on Thursday to look forward to. Which is a bit like going on a blind date and finding out your 'date' at the bar with the bow in her dress is your sister. It's inconvenient.

To be fair to Harry, it is a tad ludicrous the way the fixture list scoffs at us. And it's a crying shame the UEFA Cup has been relegated to insignificance thanks to our Premiership predicament. There's been much talk of how Harry has disgraced this clubs great traditions in Europe and how ironic it is that Spurs strive to get into Europe, something taken very seriously a couple of seasons back, to complete dismissiveness this term. Fact is, we have been crap all season long and attempting to win the UEFA Cup when our Prem survival is yet to be guaranteed is arrogance we can not afford. Arrogance probably too strong of a word there. What I mean is, we have by default devalued everything other than the league games thanks to our lack of consistency and form so pretending we can afford to play full strength teams in games that are not important in the grand scheme of things is misplaced. We could play a strong side and win, and take that confidence forward. Its agreeable logic, but the history of this season has served up one certainty: Spurs hardly ever turn up. I'd rather go out of the UEFA Cup, not lose any players to injury, and try to salvage some pride in the league.

I expect another reserve/youth team combo and a sharp exit out of the competition, but this being Spurs, I wouldn't be surprised if the complete opposite happened. Just for larks.

Sunday is now the new priority for the remaining week with Hull decimated. Utd, who we all hope get dicked by Inter this evening, will not be fielding a super-strength line-up at Wembley if they are a goal or two down by the final whistle tonight. Their second leg game at OT is obviously always going to be far more important than the Milk Cup. So amazingly, form aside, we do have a lickle chance of surprising Fergie on Sunday. Although their reserves are not going to be push-overs. And even with the Inter game sandwiching the Cup final, I still expect to see a superstar or two grace the field against us.

I'll be praying for some joy in what has been a joyless season. Fireworks in our favour please. Could even handle an Orish jig or two.

I'm still 'offline' and without internet access and will be travelling on Wednesday/Thursday so will resurface at some point on Friday.

Spurs need a bit of Viagra

2009-02-23T12:08:00.006Z

I'm still 'Out of the Office'. Posting via a mobile phone.

Either this has worked and technology deserves a warm hug of affection or it hasn't and this submission has been lost somewhere in cyberspace, forever drifting like the Littlest Hobo, never quite finding a home. You'll probably be hoping for the latter.

No such luck for you then.

Talking of home, I've spent the past three days moving residence (I have a huge collection of Levy effigies) and will be without a broadband connection until Friday as long as the BT engineer turns up and my Simultaneous Provide goes according to plan.

I'm also getting Sky installed, which is something I haven't had for a year due to my last property sitting in front of very tall and very annoying trees meaning reception was non-existent. I've been streaming football and going to the pub in its absence and tbh it's been a refreshing sabbatical not to watch Richard Keyes and Jamie Redknapp fabricate controversy and hype. However, I've always enjoyed the pantomime and will be glad for the coverage simply because I've grown tired of delayed coverage on the streams. That and Chinese John Motson styled commentary is far too excitable for my likening.

Football on ITV is also a joke and I as much as I don't actually mind the Beeb, I find myself screaming abuse at Adrian Chiles and his yo-yo voice which annoyingly increases and decreases in volume. Adrian, word of advice, whispering doesn't go down too well on television. Speak up, stick a bit of oomph into it man. Having him host Match of the Day with those two paragons of personality, Lee Dixon and the caveman, must surely be proof of the BBC experimenting in subliminal mind control. How else do you manage to get through it without falling into a coma?

So normal blogging service to be resumed over the weekend. Although will be out on Sunday for the best part of it. Got a ticket for a show. Will also be making some changes, not directly with this blog but more so with my online activity. I've decided for various reasons to exile myself from Glory-Glory.co.uk. Its a sacrifice for the greater good and one that will benefit both parties. I've become far too accustomed to the culture of posting there to the point where its become too much of an influence on my blogging over here.

As for little old Tottenham, results over the weekend went in our favour and a win tonight away to Hull will see a much needed gap between us and the free fallers below appear.

Not read any papers or websites, so don't know what Redknapp has been telling the press this week - although I'd hazard a guess it has something to do with the congested fixture list. All I know is, we should have all our first-teamers back and ready for action. If the UEFA Cup cock-up (down) was limp, then this evening must be nothing more than rock hard for the full 90 minutes. No more last minute premature accidents which have embarrassed us on the past four Prem occasions away from the Lane thank you very much.

I've been posting articles best described at 'Battle Cries' for the best part of the season, proclaiming the importance of the game and how imperative it is to claim all points. I'm now quite bored of doing this because we always seem to falter and fail. So I'm not going to say anything more on the subject. It's now over to Tottenham to do the talking on the pitch.

Glory Glory for Tottenham: Flashback to Carling Cup win

2009-02-20T02:13:00.005Z

I'm about to disappear on a hiatus of sorts. I'll sporadically post when I can but the next week or so you'll have to make do with Harry and loads of action. I'm sure you'll survive without my inane rants. But if you have become accustomed to them and need a fix to get you by, the boys and girls over at the hellmouth will help you with your addiction. You'll find them to be of a special type of crazy there. Otherwise, if you fancy your own hiatus, try something different.

But enough of the blatant advertising. Time for that flux capacitor to do it's thing.

Date: 25th Febuary 2008
Place: Back pages of the Evening Standard

Dicking Chelsea the day before was wonderful. Unfortunately, the quotes haven't aged too well.

"This just goes to show what he has done in a short amount of time. It's no fluke because he did it at Sevilla as well so he must have something really special. Certain managers have that luck about them. He has certainly done a tremendous job. To have a trophy after a few months is an incredible achievement" - Robbie Keane on 'Our Special Juan'

"The way Tottenham stood up to Chelsea gives supporters a real hope that a new era of sustained success is finally about to begin at White Hart Lane" - Michael Hart, Chief Football Correspondent, Evening Standard

"We have a very good manager and he has proved it by winning the final. There was no pressure on Ramos, but this is a wonderful achievement for him and the players" - Daniel Levy

"I have a lot of football to come and will stay with the team. I'm confident there are more trophies to follow" - Ledley King

"I am here, I want to win things and hopefully this is the first of many for me. It means a lot to beat Chelsea, they are a fantastic team. When the final whistle blew it was an indescribable feeling. Everyone was happy and it was great to see so many smiles. It's a major trophy and we wanted European football again. This is our moment, but on Tuesday we start again. We have important games ahead of us. We have big goals ahead of us. The manager is a winner and he knows how to win things. This is his first trophy and I hope it's the first of many" - Dimitar Berbatov

"The team has been improving in terms of security and confidence and yesterday's win reaffirmed that. The players have shown they can concentrate and fight with the best of them" - Juande Ramos

"In the dressing room afterwards, the players were all saying 'now let's win the UEFA Cup'" - Robbie Keane

Back to the future and I can happily live (if we win it) with reading the quotes from Redknapp about how monumental it was to beat Utd in the final, proper David and Goliath stuff, because, you know...we're down to the bare bones. I'll even look the other way when Levy sanctions the release of the Carling Cup Double special edition DVD.

Coys, let's be 'aving you. I fancy starting the month of March with a big fat smile on my face.

Spurs lose and it doesn't matter.......does it?

2009-02-20T01:31:00.011Z

The UEFA Cup doesn't matter. That's what we keep telling ourselves. At least that's what I keep repeating to myself as I rock back and forth very slowly, crawled up in the corner of the room as I hear the expert analysts on Channel 5 point out that Aston Villa are doing just dandy with a smaller squad, having played far more games than us. But Villa are settled and confident. We are nothing of the sort.

I some how manage to drag myself up from the floor and slump onto the sofa, only to suffer a relapse when I'm reminded of our crazy schedule under Ramos, who managed just fine with all the fixtures through out the UEFA Cup run. As I lay on my back mumbling something in tongues, I wonder if Redknapp is simply setting expectations so low that the simplicity of Premiership survival will be heralded as a miracle.

Did I get it all wrong? Did Harry get it wrong? Playing a mish-mashed team of youngsters, reserve players and out of form first teamers? Did we show contempt to the presitage of the UEFA Cup and its history and our history? And to our club? Was I wrong to dis-credit this competition, to agree with the sacrifice?

I black out.

I hear a voice. Is it in my head? Or is it the voice of reason?

We are in a relegation scrap....
Cup football doesn't matter.....
We need to keep our best players fit for the league....
There is no detrimental effect in losing 2-0. Our reserves lost 2-0....

I then hear another voice.

What about continuity?
Why can't we play our strongest team in every game and build on our confidence?
A win would breed a winning mentality....

I black out again.

I wake up, dizzy and confused, and ask myself the question, "Was it worth it? Was it worth accepting defeat before we even took the field of play?"

I pick myself up, and remember something I once read about how its better to fail aiming high than to succeed aiming low. There is no echo of glory this morning. Just the sound of regret as I whisper quietly for forgiveness.

Time to terminate Darren Bent

2009-02-18T14:15:00.002Z

Yesterday I read some quotes from Darren Bent about how Harry should play his strongest side possible in the UEFA Cup and that the benefit to the team would be to aim to carry the (hopefully) winning momentum into the next league game. That’s all well and good Dazza, but we've already had plenty of opportunity to carry forward the momentum in important league games and have got nowhere, so there’s no logic to the suggestion, based on the inconsistency of our players and their failure to put a decent run together. We never win when we should be forcing the issue.

Bent has been very vocal in the past week or so and according to Setanta Sports is back at it again today in what looks like a reprise of his comments from last week:

“I’ve got a point to prove in that I want to show the gaffer what I can do and I want to be starting games. At the same time, I don’t think I’ve got anything to prove because I’ve scored goals this season. If I hadn’t done then I would – but I’m the top goal scorer at this football club so I feel like I can just go out there and relax. I don’t feel the pressure at all, I just go out there and enjoy it” - Darren Bent (allegedly)

For the time being I’m going to assume this is a direct quote from the mouth of Darren Bent and not a representative or an overly creative and bored journalist mish-mashing a mis-quote alphabet soup together. Until the player states he has been misquoted I’m going to assume the above quote is word-for-word what Darren believes and stated.

So, let’s break down his statement of intent.

Dazza has a point to prove to the gaffer, but hold onto ya hats, no he doesn’t because he’s scored a few goals this season and if he hadn’t he would have a point to prove which is what he said in the first place regardless of scoring those goals but he’s top goal scorer at Spurs so he can contradict himself as many times as he wishes.

That’s set that straight then.

And because he’s top 'club' goal scorer (worth mentioning again) he can take the field of play and relax. That’s right, Dazza feels no pressure at all. Because he has nothing to prove. It’s all just a walk in the park for the £15M poacher. He can take the field and chill out because that's just the type of player he is.

WALOB.

Firstly someone needs to take him aside and explain to him that we are in a relegation scrap. Secondly, he needs to watch extended highlights of his apologetic on the field mannerisms and rabbit in the headlights stature, all teary eyed and scared as glances motionless in the box holding onto his comfort blanket waiting for a ball to hit his shin and go in.

So you go out there and enjoy it do you Darren? Enjoy what exactly? The ambience of the stadium? The weather? Bit of fresh air and half time cup of tea? The melodic chants of the Park Lane? You’re not meant to enjoy it. There is nothing enjoyable about our dismal form and lack of consistent cutting edge as a team from one game to the next (consolation goals do not count). Not that you are to blame for it, but as an individual, you're not impressing anyone.

We are the ones who are meant to be enjoying it and when you see us doing so you can then take a slice of satisfaction from it. I don’t believe for a second that you’re half as confident as you’re making out to be, mouthing off to the press every other day. So unless you are pulling some kind of Joaquin Phoenix method acting publicity stunt and you're not really a complete messy paradox of a player you need to be doing more on the the pitch and less of the talking off it to prove your worth.

I don’t care about your goal ratio. I don't care that you are the top scorer at Spurs. It's not enough to think that minimal effort is satisfactory because minimal effort equates to 14 goals. I want to see more effort and more willingness. I want to see you develop your game. I want to see you adapt to the formation and tactics of the team. I want to see you score more goals.

But no. That's too much for you isn't it? We don't ever see any of that extra effort. All I ever see from you is ah-da-da-dah like this in the background holding your head missing a sitter. What the f*ck is it with you? What don’t you understand? You got any f*cking idea? It’s f*cking counter-productive having somebody that does nothing in front of the midfield during a game? Give me a f*cking answer! What don’t you get about your lack of effort?

Ohhhhhh, gooooood for you, you scored a couple of goals up at Bolton. I hope it was f*cking good, because it’s useless now, isn’t it?

F*cks sake man, you’re amateur. Harry, you got f*cking something to say to this dud other than comparing him to your wife? No? Well somebody should be f*cking watching and keeping an eye on him.

He doesn’t give a f*ck about what is going on around him. I’m trying to support the team here and I am going “What the f*ck does Darren Bent do exactly? What is he doing here?” Do you understand my mind is not on the game when you're out on the pitch?

Stay the f*ck away from the media. For f*cks sake.

You are trashing my club.

You mouth off one more f*cking time and I ain't going back to the Spurs Shop and spending money on merchandise if you're still playing shit. I'm f*cking serious. You're a nice guy. You're a nice guy, but that don't f*cking cut it when you're f*cking around like this on the pitch and doing nothing much and then giving it the big billy bollocks in the press.

Seriously, you and me, we’re f*cking down, professionally.

Let There Be Love

2009-02-17T15:33:00.012Z

And there I was thinking it’s been a slow week for news.

Noel Gallagher has launched an amazing rant against Tottenham Hotspur (amazing and rant are not my words, but the words the press are going with. I'd prefer to describe the rant as acquiesce):

"I've told him (his son) he can support his local team down here if that's what he wants - but he can't support Man Utd or Tottenham. I have an irrational loathing of Spurs, their fans and everything about that club"

Really? Do you? You and half the country you absolute melter.

So you've banned your 17 month old son from ever following the club? Cognisant already at such a young age? What a perceptive young lad you’ve got there. How about giving our kid a crayon and some paper and get him to pen the next Oasis album. Just get him to rhyme as many words as possible with shine and you can’t go wrong.

If any cockney Darth Vaders out there want to bring their Oasis LP's and CD's to the next Tottenham home game please do. Martin Chivers will be burning them in the centre circle.

RAUL: The pasta was over-cooked and Juande spilt wine on his shirt

2009-02-17T11:50:00.007Z

Raul admits to Tottenham interest
Spurs almost sign Raul
How I almost joined Tottenham
Almost a Spur

You’d think we nearly signed him if you don’t look beyond the overly dramatic headlines. Fact is all Raul did was have lunch with Ramos (whilst still Spurs boss) along with Gines Carvajal who is agent to both. Raul claims that they called him to discuss English football, as he was interested in hearing Juandes experience of Tottenham and the Premier League. Apparently he likes the English game. Hidden away in some of these reports (not all) is another Raul quote about ‘interpretations’ relating to the fact that Ramos was then sacked by Spurs and appointed Madrid boss. Sounds like Raul/Carvajal are trying to dismiss more local rumours (back in Spain) about Raul tapping up the then Spurs boss.

Here’s a better headline for this story: Nothing to see here, please move along, slow-news day.

Elsewhere, Darko Lazovic has had a successful trial at Spurs, impressing in the past month. The 18-year old playmaker is currently at FK Borac Cacak and is valued at a lowly 500k (expect imminent £15M offer soon then). Reports suggest he will sign for us, even though nothing is directly mentioned other than the player saying he is in no rush to make a decision.

We don’t have the greatest track record at the minute when purchasing hyped kids. Gio, Adel, Kevin Prince Boateng – all have been bit part players in their time at Spurs. KPB has gone back to Germany on loan. Gio is nowhere near the first team squad and rumours continue to persist about a summer departure (almost joined Pompey back in January). And as for Adel……great talent (was buzzing on international duty for Morocco mid-week) needs development on decision making. Harry fancies him a bit and we’ll probably see a lot more of his magic feet in the coming weeks (play him from the start in the UEFA Cup rather than a late cameo appearance where he tries to hard to impress). As for Gareth Bale (another kid), he’ll reclaim his past form for us (he looks class for Wales) soon enough. He just needs to find the voodoo doll and remove the last few remaining pins.

edit: Adel isn't in the UEFA Cup squad. Gutted. We'll have to stick with the cameos until next season then.

As for Darko, sign him up if the kid is a genuine talent rather than hype. Sounds like he might have enough about him to knock on the first team door sooner rather than later. ComolliVision no longer a concern.

And Spurs are doing something right at the moment with the academy team who are exceptional (thanks to Alex Inglethorpe). As long as the experienced first teamers get it together, bringing the younger players into the fold won’t be so daunting and morale crushing. Maybe the likes of Gio and KPB (who was never a Young German Player of the Year no matter how many times the newspapers tell you) were the wrong type of signings for us.

Not much else to report on at the moment. International week followed by Cup weekend has bored me to tears. UEFA Cup? Oh yeah. Not sure you can count the Shakhtar Donetsk game as important. I always want Spurs to win. But I can’t say this weeks UEFA Cup first leg in the Ukraine is something I’m excited about. We can’t win the competition with so many players cup-tied (Corluka, Keane, Pavlyuchenko) and not risked (King) along with the fact that we’re a bit shit. Three points in the next league match is the only priority for us - that and Wembley, I guess.

I’ll be watching the game on Thursday hoping to see some of the ‘kids’ perhaps get a baptism of fire (not so daunting and moral crushing if we lose as Shakhtar are no mugs and there is little expectation for this game). Won’t lost any sleep if it goes pear-shaped. Hull, sandwiched between the two legs (ooh matron), is the one to win. Don’t see us risking too many players considering that winning at Wembley would also be quite nice. I could do with a smile. We could all do with a smile. Doesn’t mean the players who are selected to play in the Ukraine don’t give it 110%. Even if the game is not a priority, they should still aim to impress.

Cheeky 2-1 win then to us?

And finally, Roman Pavyluchenko is struggling to come to terms with the English language, women and food. To be perfectly honest, it sounds like he’s settled in just fine. Welcome to England. You’re one of us now.

What does Darren Bent do exactly? Part II

2009-02-16T15:12:00.013Z

Darren Bent. So what does he do exactly again?

14 goals
9 in Prem
4 in UEFA Cup
1 in CC

Quite a bit apparently. If you've not read part one, click here. I'm following up that article with, well to be honest, more of the same.

One of the main arguments put forward in favour of Darren has been related to stats. He scores goals, so what else do we want from him? The counter-argument is that because of his lack of team-play quality (he doesn't hold up the ball well, support team mates, create or assist, not great at heading, woeful positioning) we only benefit from his goal-poaching when we play a certain type of formation or when away from home.

He's therefore one dimensional according to those who believe he doesn't bring anything else of value to the side. He just feeds off the scraps. Instinctively, but not as busy as a Greaves or Lineker who both, arguably goal-hanged, although both were very much capable of scoring goals out of nothing. But even though Greaves could go 85 minutes without doing much, then bang in a couple of goals, comparing Bent to Jimmy is borderline ridiculous. Is it not?

If one dimensional gets you a better goal ratio than a player who possesses more tricks in his locker, should we simply be playing to his 'strengths'? If your answer is yes, then what formation/team structure would we need to play? Perhaps kick random balls into the box and hope Bent gets on the end of some of them? Tottenham's play will have to be basic to cater for Bent upfront. Basic in the sense that nine outfield players link-up and get involved in build up play, with Bent waiting in the shadows alone for a ball to roll within proximity to his feet.

Harsh.

So what about those pesky statistics then? Here's a quick glance at the club stats from this season (thanks to CAS over at GG for the numbers which I've blatantly copy and pasted):

Bent has played 1995 minutes for us so far this season which equates to 22.17 full games and in those games he has scored 14 goals
Pav has played 1752 minutes for us which is 19.47 games and scored 12 goals
Defoe has played 2414 minutes or 26.82 games and scored 12 goals (Pompey and Spurs)
Keane has played 1860 minutes or 20.67 games and scored 7 goals (Liverpool and Spurs)

So the goal ratios stand us follows:

Bent 1 goal every 1.58 games
Pav 1 goal every 1.62 games
Defoe 1 goal every 2.23 games
Keane 1 goal every 2.95 games

And here's a run-down of when Bent's goals were notched up:

1 (A) PREM Chelsea 1-1 D Bent equaliser
2 (H) PREM Aston Villa 1-2 L Bent consolation
3 (H) UEFA Wisla Krakow 2-1 W Bent winner
4 (A) PREM Stoke City 2-1 L Bent consolation
5 (H) PREM Bolton 2-0 W Bent penalty
6 (A) PREM Arsenal 4-4 D Bent scores our second goal
9 (H) UEFA Dinamo Zagreb 4-0 W Bent hat-trick
11 (A) PREM Man City 2-1 W Bent brace
12 (A) CC Watford 2-1 W Bent winner
14 (A) PREM Bolton 3-2 L Bent brace

How many of the above were scraps/rebounds/plain lucky? How many were created after a sweeping move or out of absolutely nothing? How many saw Bent link-up with the midfield before sweeping forward to complete the move and bury the ball in the back of the net?

He's no Sandra Redknapp

Does it matter, as long as the end result is 'the ball hitting the back of the net'?

He's scoring so that's surely enough, no? If Robbie Keane scores less goals than Darren Bent per games played, does that make him any less of a player? Of course not. So who would you prefer to have in your starting line-up? Bent's ratio is possibly even better than what Berbatov managed with us - but would you pick Bent over the departed Bulgarian if he was still here? Silly question, right? You wouldn't.

So should you be asking 'why'?

It's OK to refer to the statistics and ratios and state this as evidence enough for his inclusion, but a stat worth looking at perhaps is how many assists come from the feet of Defoe/Pav/Keane etc compared to those of Darren Bent.

Note also that Cudicini has a habit of rolling the ball out to fullbacks when Pav isn't on the pitch, as Bent doesn't win headers. Personally, he should always roll the ball out. Prefer it when we play from the back, keeping the ball on the ground.

At this moment in time - should we not be concerned with anything other than hitting the back of the net, no matter how? Where Bent fails to achieve the link-up work of a Keane or a Pav (who both assist the team into functioning cohesively) he produces the final goods - goals. And in our predicament, surely any scrapes or rebounds will do. Surely goal celebrations are more imperative to a sweeping move involving 5 or 6 players resulting with a forward waving his arms in the air screaming at the ref?

Perhaps that's a simplistic way of looking at it. Bent is not a better footballer than Defoe or Keane. He won't get involved as much as either of them. He won't assist or create. We need to win games, no matter who does the scoring. And having a cohesive hard working Spurs team out on the pitch every week, players working for each other, will make a far greater impact than having a fragmented side with players who don't quite fit in.

(Although some might say, dropping back to link-up is the reason why Robbie's goal ratio isn't as good as Darren's)

In a relegation scrap, we can't afford to miss any opportunity that presents itself in front of goal. Bent still has a part to play in the season. He' still important for certain scenarios. But he's not going to be here come the end of the summer time. Where Spurs will be by the start of August is also up to 11 players rather than just one.

I guess, as ever, all we can do is support the players out on the pitch. Including Darren Bent. And I'll be celebrating one of his goals with the same loopy celebration that would accompany a Keane or Pav goal. If Darren continues to score goals in his limited appearances we won't be complaining.

What does Darren Bent do exactly?

2009-02-14T14:00:00.007Z

It’s a question that’s divided Tottenham fans and one that’s been posed ever since he joined Spurs. Thanks to Darren's recent public ultimatum via the red tops where he has suggested he needs to be playing more otherwise he’ll move on, I have to ask myself (much like you might be doing) is he worth keeping? Would we miss him if he’s gone?

Ignoring the £15M price tag (that’s not his fault) you could argue Darren has not had a fair chance, a prolonged run of games, to prove his worth as a first choice striker. Statistically, he has a very decent goal to appearance ratio and has slotted quite a few of them away from home. So based on whether he can put the ball into the back of the net, you’ll find some Spurs fans defending him on the basis that he’s a striker and strikers are there to score goals.

But is football really that simplistic? Can we (or any club) afford the luxury of a player that simply knocks them in without bringing much else to the field of play?

We bought the player on the strength of his consistent performances and goal scoring record when he played for Charlton. A confident finisher who would run onto the ball. Worked a treat there because Charlton played defensive counter attacking football. Bent is far from being creative or inventive and isn’t the type of player you’d expect to see getting involved in build up play or perhaps crossing the ball in for others to feed off. Bent’s success there was down to the style of play Curbishley fashioned. He suited Charlton. So does he suit Tottenham?

If the opposition defend deep and don’t allow the space for Darren to run into, then is he ruled ineffective? You’ll find one or two people answering yes to that. But still, he scores goals, which means he must be doing something right, no?

Which finds us back to the question as to whether scoring goals is enough to warrant a first team place. Pav, Defoe, Keane and Berbatov (bless him) have more than just goal-scoring boots in their locker. All have their particular weakness/faults but arguably all of them have far more in the way of ability to get involved in games rather than become invisible until a goal scoring opportunity becomes available.

Was invisible too harsh of a word to describe him? Does he participate with good movement and solid hold up play? Is he a nuisance to defenders, digging at their heels, taking players away for others to take advantage of the opening spaces ahead?

Bent is more suited for a 4-5-1 formation and (as mentioned earlier) playing away from home where we can counter-attack when the home team are pressing. Logic here is there is more space for him to run into, bit like when he played for Charlton.

So regardless of the fact that he still has a knack of getting in amongst the goals, there are no other tricks in his locker. And even though he has never had the chance to play week in and week out as a first choice striker, even when he’s been scoring, other players have been preferred simply because they are far more involved in the game which means they bring others into it.

'I score, therefore, I am'

So is Bent is a goal-hanger? Feeding off rebounds and goal keeping mistakes. The odd scrap here or there. That’s probably not statistically fair to him, but he isn’t showing us much in the way of developing his overall play. Creating goals from nothing.

Complaining in the press isn’t going to help improve his level of performance. But he obviously believes he is doing enough.

Pavlyuchenko has put him to shame with regards to effort, considering the Russian was not fit when he signed for us, suffering from fatigue and completely alien to the English game and the country. He might not hold the ball up like a Teddy Sheringham, but he is far more convincing a team player than Darren Bent is. And he’ll get better once we get through this season and start afresh (again) next season.

Bent's whinging to the press sums it all up. Pushing aside the stats and the analysis of his all-round game, Darren Bent believes he has done enough to prove his value to the club. He has done his bit therefore believes he is immune to criticism. As far as he is concerned he has done more than enough to prove himself and there’s no need for him to do anything else.

I spoke about the culture of failure at Spurs in a previous blog entry, how losing is OK at White Hart Lane. Michael Carrick famously touched upon this when he joined Manchester United. Players – team-mates –should be competing against each other at the highest possible level they can muster up, because the better they are the better the team is:

“When you do “your bit” you are immune to criticism. A sort of collectively projected performance-socialism, where people are not only encouraged to do nothing more than “his bit” but are in fact discouraged from doing more because it makes team-mates look even worse” – Danish White (Glory Glory.co.uk)

Where is the zest to be a better player, Mr Bent? Why are you the better option out of the group of forwards we have?

Shut up and play up or wave your goodbye.

Of course, the ultimate way to answer the question 'What does Darren Bent do exactly?' is with another question:

Why did we buy him in the first place?

I Love Daniel Levy

2009-02-13T15:05:00.007Z

Firstly, I’ll apologise in advance for anyone who is browsing into this blog for the first time ever. This is an editorial written especially for the girls and boys of the official Tottenham Hotspur forum. I would have signed up to it myself and posted my response there but unfortunately to sign up you need to include info relating to your season ticket or membership. Which means, if I did, I’d be giving away my identity. The thread that has inspired me to write this article is probably no more than a ploy by Daniel Levy to catch me out. I wasn’t born yesterday Mr Chairman, no sir.

So, don’t judge me on the basis of this vanity enriched rant.

To be honest I don’t care whether people like me or this blog. I write for myself and for people who have followed my letters to the chairman over the past several years. Blogging is a bit like Marmite. My articles range from long winded rants to match reports and caption competitions. It’s not a run of the mill everything in black and white website. You’ll have one reaction from one person for a blog entry and a completely opposite reaction to the same entry by someone else. And I love that. Everyone has a differing opinion. Nothing ground-breaking with that.

Opinions aside, it all depends on how serious you take yourself and whether you have an ability to read between the lines. Ironically, I get it that I’m taking myself too seriously by writing this up. But I can assure it has more to do with the fact that I have ten minutes to spare than it does ego.

So this is my reaction to the thread on the official forum that had one brave chap post and tell everyone he likes my blog. What a mistake to make. The reaction, overwhelmingly, was that (according to the residents there) my blog is utter crap. I’m not going to lie. I felt all warm inside. It’s been called worse.

The thread then turned into a pro/anti Levy ‘discussion’ (which included an invite for one of the members to meet up outside the pub to continue the discussion face to face – I guess moderation isn’t a key element in their community).

There are various sound-bites about Levy being a leader and one that we can be proud of and that he makes mistakes but usually gets it right. And that basing our opinion on our league position and transfers is very childish. Levy is apparently a good businessman and one that has made us profitable and respectable. Blaming him is possibly a kneejerk for wanting to place blame on someone, anyone. Probably because we live in a blame culture.

Talking of which, I don’t blame anyone for thinking I’m loony tunes if they glance quickly at my blog. I guess most will browse off and never return because they take every word literally or simply dislike my style. In fact I've changed my mind and I’m not even going to explain myself on this. People who can be arsed will work it out for themselves. If you don’t or can’t then that’s cool. Plenty of forums and blogs out there that I’m sure are tailored just fine for you. I’m not everyone’s English cup of tea. This whole blog was birthed from Glory Glory.co.uk. Maybe it should have stayed there.

Now to attempt to answer one or two of those sound-bites, I’d like to state that Daniel Levy has made some major errors in judgement. Critical ones.

He has already admitted that the reason he appointed a Director of Football was because he needed to entrust someone to take care of the footballing matters because he knows nothing about football. His words. And it turned out great for him because he could blame the Ramos appointment on Comolli and use him as a scapegoat when it all went tits up and then play the PR game by going back to basics with the Harry appointment.

For a club that is so financially stable and quite obviously has money to waste, we don’t actually make any progress. In the true sense of the word. I guess that’s fine in some ways. We are not a yo-yo club like West Ham and we are not shambolic politically like Newcastle. We have our soap opera elements that the press love to hate on us for. But so has every club. But is that a good enough excuse to hide the cracks (the ones purely related to football management) that constantly re-appear no matter how many times we plaster over them?

Back in the day, fans on the terraces never spoke that much about the chairman and the board of directors. It's not lost on me that Irving Scholar messed the club up. And it's not lost on me that to be able to compete in the transfer market you need a foundation.

The foundation is here. It’s holding us up with strong ENIC bricks. We just don’t want to turn the bungalow into a high rise. We want to build on the foundation. We talk the talk. We bring in the builders. They just turn out to be cowboys and the roof caves in.

The footballing side of the club is not run with any cohesiveness. Whether there’s a plan in place or a transfer policy (why nobody dared question the ‘buy them young sell them for a massive profit’ tactic employed by Levy still astounds me) it’s always seemed a little superficial. And now it's almost desperate with the Redknapp appointment and his choice in transfer policy.

When I look back at the summer, so blinded by the Berbatov saga, I actually initially supported Levy's stance until it dawned on me pretty quickly that his actions and delays cost us heavily. But that’s ok. Because we can spend £15M a time on any player we wish because we got no debt, innit. So much so, we no await planning permission for a new stadium.

What? You waiting for me to slate him for that too? Hmm. Nope. But the point is one of overall responsibility.

Maybe, in some ways, expectations from the media and fans, pressure the chairman. Maybe our impatience plays a part. Maybe the chairman is weak.

If you look close enough, you’ll understand the in-joke.

Sorry for being pretentious and cryptic. To be honest, I could be writing a blog article about Darren Bent and his latest whinge, and I’d much rather be doing that. But I guess ego does play a part after all.

The Panther of the Lane

2009-02-12T20:11:00.014Z

A bullish, battling, determined midfielder bossing the centre of the park. And he's wearing a lilywhite shirt.

It's amazing what they can do with a bit of CGI nowadays.

Thanks to tobjr for the video.

UPDATE: Video is down at the moment, removed by Youtube due to copyright issues, so will re-link once its available.

Re-Uploaded

Terry Dixon in astonishing comeback

2009-02-11T14:08:00.016Z

Remember Terry Dixon? Very highly rated youngster on the books at Spurs a few years back who without making a league appearance (or a reserve one at that), managed to win a call-up to the Republic of Ireland squad for a friendly match against Russia back in 2006. Dixon (probably because of his physical stature and shaved head) was being touted as the Irish Wayne Rooney. Superficial comparisons aside, the kid was a precocious talent and in fact had plenty in common with Rooney. Those who witnessed him in full flight saw a strong, confident young lad with bundles of skill. Irish Rooney? Perhaps. Way ahead in terms of ability of all the other 16 year old players at the time. Which is probably why Ireland took a cheeky look at him.

But, alas, we never got to see him beyond the academy team.

The club released him back in March 2008 (cancelling his contract) due a couple of very serious knee injuries (he managed to repeatedly dislocate his right knee). Once is bad enough, twice is pretty devastating. Several operations and failed comebacks meant Dixon was let go. The suggestion (according to medical staff) was he'd never be able to play top flight football, at least at the competitive level required to make the grade in a first team squad in the Premier League. Which is why he's signed for West Ham.

Sorry, that joke would have worked better if we were ABOVE the Hammers.

In all seriousness, I'm chuffed to bits he is back at a professional level. Shocked, but chuffed. This is a young lad who's dream was retired after almost an age was spent attempting to get him fit and primed for a fulfilling career. Seems a stint in Belgium with a knee-specialist along with further rehabilitation at West Ham has worked a treat. Obviously. Otherwise why would West Ham sign him on a three year contract?

Prodigy (not Carr, he's just a git)

Two years out with a serious injury at a critical stage of his development along with disciplinary issues (mostly off the field) along with the fact that Spurs were amazingly patient for a very lengthy time, working to get him back to fitness - makes it an astonishing comeback. Its a bit unexpected.

I wish him all the best at West Ham and hope he makes a full recovery, as unbelievable as it might have seemed had we discussed the possibility 5 months back. Even if he scores a cracker against us, I'd applaud (quietly in my mind).

If he doesn't make the grade at West Ham, I hope he makes it somewhere else. The lad obviously has a never say die attitude and wants football in his life, regardless of the odds stacked against him.

Spurs and Survival: It's time to get medieval

2009-02-11T09:37:00.003Z

A regular feature on this blog has been a reoccurring series following a set of fixtures that are meant to provide the much needed impetus (and points) to finally steer us clear of the scary little mire that is the bottom three seats of the Premiership. A place best avoided much like a seedy back room in a pawn shop resembling a dungeon.

When Harry Redknapp joined, I gave him 12 games to get us out of trouble. Results were not too shabby. The 12 games in question made up the fabled Challenge Spurs™ (The Dirty Dozen) series. But when that ended, we failed to capitalise on the points tally acquired and managed to follow it up with a pretty awful run of results, followed by another mixed bag (as chronicled in the V for Victory™ series).

This meant we failed to pull ourselves away from the mix down at the bottom. So these run of fixtures never made a difference win, lose or draw with regards to climbing the table (obviously the points picked up have been all important, otherwise we'd be doomed by now). And the teams around us have also remained fairly constant with poor and inconsistent form. Not a lot has changed in the past few months.

We now find ourselves with the run-in and every game a must-win (not every game is winnable, but that's the attitude required. Deja vu, right?). Which ironically means, that if there was a time to scrutinise our fixture list and welcome back Challenge Spurs™, it’s now. Fail, and there's nothing but Championship fixtures to look forward to.

We have 13 games left - 6 at home and 7 away.

We've already driven the little Honda into Marcellus Wallace. Donuts and coffee hitting the pavement. And arguably, we’ve already stumbled our way into the Mason-Dixie pawn shop. So squeaky-bum time is potentially moments away. Zed will see to that. Get yourself caught up in the moment and you might find it more than just a bit tricky to get out. All tied up and gagged, praying for a miracle. Zed has us in his sights. Relegation. Relegation has us in its sights. The spider has caught itself a fly.

"Bring out The Gimp"
"I think The Gimp is sleepin'"

In this case, the Gimp is not Jermaine Jenas. And neither is it sleeping. The Gimp is the monkey on our back. Nope, not Gareth Bale (he's mostly on the bench nowadays). The Gimp is the persistent match-losing lack of concentration that has seen us defeat ourselves in the last four league away games - all in the final minutes.

It’s a mental block. Lack of concentration, belief. A fundamental lack of self-respect. Confidence, pride...lack of. Tag whatever you wish to it. Its a Spurs trait we always blame when you know what hits the fan.

Last time the Gimp persevered, it cost us Champions League (forget the last game and think back to the amount of points lost in the final minutes both home and away during the course of that season). For it to occur four times on the trot, all away from the Lane this season, is a sure sign that winning is sometimes a task too hard for some of our players. They welcome the Gimp and it's all too familiar hooded face of sadomasochistic defeatism. We need to punch the Gimp in the head several times.

"So, we're cool?"

We are at the point of no second chances now. If you sit down with your calculator or Prem Table predictor website tool, the possibility of us being unsafe and at risk on the final game is possible if you base our final set of games and likely outcomes on prior form. Especially on away form.

We are likely to pick up points at home. Although it’s ominous that we haven't done that amazingly well so far. But the home games are now imperative. No possible excuse could appease us if we don't prove successful at WHL. As for the away games, they can be grouped into two sections:

The 'No Chance in Hell' List

Man Utd
Aston Villa
Everton
Liverpool

The 'Doubtful we'll win' List

Hull City
Blackburn Rovers
Sunderland

Lose to Hull away, and the game against Boro at home turns into a Cup final, to follow on from that other Cup final we play out a few days earlier. Sunderland away has yet to be slotted into the schedule having been postponed. So where is the away win(s) going to happen? We have a good record at Everton, don't we?

I prefer to think that Spurs will do what they usually do in such desperate times. Instinctively react and do so positively. Almost nonchalantly. Bit like the goals that came at the end of the semi-final against Burnley. We waited until we were 3-0 down and (practically) out of the Cup before showing a bit of quality and pulling through. It's textbook Spurs. It's eternally frustrating. Back to the home games left to play:

The 'Must Not Drop Points' List

Boro
Chelsea
West Ham
Newcastle
WBA
Man City

Apart from Chelsea (who might be rejuvenated a little by the time we play them) the other games in this list have to be victories in our favour. Without any disrespect, they are winnable. On paper. That's a fans perspective. The players have to be ruthless and fearless against the lot of them.Whether it's Chelsea or WBA.

The other clubs around us down at the bottom will no doubt struggle till the closing day of the season, but the desperation of needing them to lose to help us out is something I will not embrace.

It’s in our hands. Again. We can't be hoping other results go in our favour. We have to control our own destiny (cringe away).

We are in need for an inspired Butch with a Samurai sword moment to signal our intent for survival.

And we are equipped for it. Palacios, big and strong and inspiring. Keane will rediscover form and the back of the net. Dawson will continue to led in the absence of King. Lennon, who's energy this season has never faltered, will buzz around and torment. Modric possesses the quality that will help unlock a defence or two and allow Pav and Bent to get in amongst the goals. And Harry will make sure it all tick tocks clockwise.

How the Carling Cup final or the UEFA Cup games will affect squad moral is not something I wish to dwell on. It's not quite like last season where the players went to sleep after the 2-1 Wembley win and forgot how to win in the Prem. There's a clear distinction between one off games like the Final and the bread and butter of the Prem this term. And the latter is clearly of more importance in the long run.

Butch, driving into Marcellus, allowed destiny to take them to the pawn shop and perilously close to a humiliating death. The death part was avoided. The humiliation unavoidable. The will to survive saw them through it, bloody in victory and revenge.

Much like the two of them, its down to us that we are in this predicament. We've led ourselves here. Destiny playing its part with comparative ease. We've suffered the humiliation. We now need to stay clear of death. So here's to a quick sharp exit, riding off on a Chopper, with a happy ending.

‘Who’s Relegation?’
‘Relegations dead, baby, Relegations dead’

Spurs 0 Arsenal 0 - Next time, yeah?

2009-02-09T19:01:00.011Z

144th NLD
Spurs 0 Arsenal 0

So close yet so far. Should have, could have, would have won it yesterday. But alas, our eternal depression against Arsenal (as highlighted by a banner in the away end which disappeared when the Arsenal fans realised they might not actually win) continues that bit longer. We’ll have to wait for next season and hope they are suitably weaker if starved of Champions League before we can finally thrash them 1-0. My back will be waxed for space for the celebratory tattoo cometh that day.

Back to the present and arguably it’s not exclusively just our depression anymore. Rights appear to be subject of a sharing agreement between ourselves and the enemy in red. Both clubs with different immediate goals, and both struggling to get there. Arsenal, dare I say it, are currently closer to ordinary than invincible. We remain frustrating. Decent now and again, mediocre or worse more often than not.

I'm disappointed we didn't win it. More chances more possession. Palacios immense in central midfield, showing some of that much needed determination and spirit we so often lack. Modric pulling the strings, dealing with the physicality with comparative ease. Bit more end product there and you could get away with muttering ‘world class’ when describing the Croatian playmaker. But we'll suck that in for the moment and use it when its geniunely warranted (which won't be too long).

Arsenal (bless ‘em) defended well and retaining two upfront when they had Eboue sent off was rather clever tactics on their part as it stretched us rather than allow us to push forward in numbers had they resorted to all out defending.

For all the chances we had, none of them were clear cut, although Pav should have done better and if Modric had played the ball into the box instinctively rather than waiting a second too long at the death of the game (nice cameo by Taarabt), then Bent would have won the game in the final seconds. So maybe the chances were as good as being clear cut if we managed to get them on target. Close enough though to allow for shaking of heads despondently, and sighing if’s and onlys a couple of hundred times on the journey home.

Arsenal only ever looked dangerous when we allowed them to push forward thanks to the odd mistake here and there and in the final 15 minutes or so when the game opened up. Set-pieces our only other main concern, but all dealt with rather comfortably. One or two scary moments, but otherwise, the South London club lacked anything in the way of the usual textbook swagger that usually sees them score a goal or two against us.

The turning point should have been that Eboue incident that all made us laugh out loud with giddy joy. He got his marching orders for kicking out at Modric, who was booked for his part in the scuffle (and I use that word lightly because Modric didn’t really deserve a yellow anyway).

Arsenal are pretty much accustomed to playing with 10 men regularly so it was never going to be a given that we’d win. We lacked that extra bit of ruthlessness needed for such an occasion.

Robbie Keane was not really involved in the game as much as we'd have liked to see (not surprising considering where he was a few weeks back – he’ll need another game or so to regain full match fitness) and Pav had one of those days where everything went a mile to the side of the goal. Lennon was busy and tenacious but should have had more of a go at Clichey. If he could strike the ball with power and place it to the side of the keeper, we'd all be laughing. End product is also something that needs improving from the little man. Still our best player this season.

Dawson not far behind him with his no-nonsense defending. Bit of revelation is Daws, as not too long ago, one or two fans half expected him to be pushed out of the club (as he only ever played well with a fit King by his side and his form appeared to dip substantially in a Kingless defence). His current form has been outstanding. Jenas appears to have divided opinions. Some say he was not effective at all, others say he gave a lot of effort. Personally, I think he had an off day. Was expecting him to roar as he always fancies these matches. I say stick with him for now, and allow him and Palacios to gel in midfield, with Modric out on the left free to cut in and cause havoc. If Palacios does all the grating, we might finally see JJ smash it up, box-2-box, like he has always promised to do but never quite graps the consistency and belief.

I'm kidding myself, aren't I?

Vot va voad vof Vollocks.

Talking of Wilson. Wow. What a great home debut. Big, strong, hardly gives a free kick away. Tackles superbly well. Is all over the pitch. A player who actually values the concept of winning midfield battles. And probably serves as an inspiration to others around him to up their game and passion levels to match his performance. Proper player? Hell yes. FAO SPURS PLAYERS - This is the type of application required. Not just in Derby games, but in every single game left in this season. Suddenly I’m shrugging at the £14M price tag. Well worth it on this evidence.

So, generally, it was a good performance, with just a bit of the rub of the green missing. Arsenal failing to score against Spurs? Staggering that. Been a while since we've had the pleasure. Cudinici did well, Almunia superb in the oppossite goal.

Obviously, if you witnessed this in WengerVision then you would have seen Arsenal dominate the match, boss the midfield and create an abundance of opportunities including a dead cert goal disallowed and a player sent off when he shouldn't have been (because his first yellow was not deserved). Ah, WengerVision. What would we do without it?

Arsenal never really turned up, plain and simple. Hardly tested Cudicni (who had maybe one or two saves to make, the best from Bendtner) and were very much not Arsenalesque on the day. The 'goal' was not a goal and therefore should not be classed as a disallowed goal. The ref blew his whistle and signalled for a foul before the ball was stroked into the net. It’s irrelevant what you do after the ref has blown. Play no longer exists. Bit different if the ref blows AFTER the ball crosses the line. Yes, I know I'm being pedantic on this, but the little push and trip-over was exactly that, as soft as it looked. And Ekotto appeared to stop playing when the ref blew his whistle, though I can never quite tell with him.

All hail SpookyVision.

Humourous that he (Wenger) managed to watch that incident three times on tv and couldn’t see why it wasn't a goal but didn't bother watching replays of the Eboue incident. That’s Wenger logic for you. You wonder whether he actually believes half the crap he spouts post-match. Was Robbie Keane fouled and denied a penalty? I'm certain if that was a player in red and white going down inside the area, Wenger would have a post-match fit screaming "referee conspiracy!"

Two points dropped? Yes. You do feel that if we had Defoe up front or if Keane was a little more fresh, we would have cracked them. Instead, we're 2 points off the mire instead of 4. Arsenal are 5 points off the Top 4. Disappointment for the both of us then. But it's more likely that we will avoid relegation than they will finish 4th. Unbeaten against the Cartel (Man Utd, Chelsea, Liverpool, Arsenal) this season in the Prem. Shame our record against ‘lesser’ opposition remains shit. One win in nine is still not great, and the home games are the ones we need to be winning.

Laughable that certain quarters are suggesting that Wenger outfoxed Redknapp tactically. Yes, Arsenal retained decent shape when at 10 men. But they gained a point only because of our indecisive finishing. The team might have a bit more about them after this game going into the next league match.

If you don't agree with any of this, and you prefer WengerVision, feel free to pick yourself up a copy of The Standard, that bastion of unbiased journalism, for a more traditional write-up of the game. Or track down Piers Morgan who probably thinks Arsenal won the match.

Made me smile

2009-02-06T15:35:00.002Z

We probably paid that much for his return.

Audere est facere is in my blood

2009-02-06T11:28:00.047Z

As a solider of the terraces and voice of the disillusioned fan I constantly place my life at risk for the sake of supporter freedom, highlighting then dismissing the propaganda we are constantly subjected too. The ordinary fan needs enlightenment. It's my job to make sure they are not left in the dark.

Audere est facere is in my blood.

I’ve handcuffed myself naked to the West Stand turnstiles. Been attacked by rouge squirrels when attempting to stall the Berbatov to Utd transfer. Fallen out of a tree overlooking The Lodge. Boycotted the Spurs Shop on countless occasions including the time I replaced items of clothing in the shop with effigies of Daniel Levy and Damien Comolli French kissing. I’ve also organised end of season ‘burning of season ticket’ bonfire events. I’ve been arrested, had restraining orders served, ASBO’s and have had to endure my fair share of community service. All because I dare to protest and demonstrate against Levy and his Napoleonistic quirks.

People question my ethics. Apparently I am a hypocrite because I pay for a season ticket every year. Which means I’m helping to fund Levy’s chairmanship – one that I publicly disagree with. But that’s a sacrifice that’s unavoidable. To be able to protest against a war and do so with unequivocal passion – one must sign up and do a tour of duty. I’m on my fifth tour in the South Stand lower tier. That makes me veteran.

Anyone who barks in my direction telling me how Levy is a great chairman because of the money he generates for the club and for transfers are forgetting that most astute business men would easily make a healthy profit from a club of our stature. It’s not that difficult a task. It’s the footballing side that continues to suffer due to his failings. It's not how you make the money, it's how you spend it. The persistence of the DoF system. The contridiction of the Redknapp appointment. The £15M outlays on superfluous players. The cheapening of the clubs name with the delusions of greatness that in reality is nothing more than a ghost of the once true greatness possessed in a by-gone era. The dumbing down of our Latin motto. The Jol/Ramos/Comolli mess. It’s an endless list.

Supporters unfamiliar with my campaigns might think me a little extreme. I guess a man dressed in black combat gear with a camouflaged face mask and a hands-free NVG Cybereye third generation multi-purpose night vision system with additional camera-adaptable extras, illuminator functionality and advanced recognition range would, I guess, qualify me as a little extreme. But I’d prefer committed.

It’s no coincidence that I find myself in Daniel Levy’s back garden. The sun has long since set. It’s been about a year since my last visit to the mansion. The rose bush is looking delightful. I’ve been hiding out in his shed for around seven hours. Just me and this bin liner which holds my Pièce de résistance. A present for the chairman. Not much room in here to move, with the lawn mower and unopened copies of the Opus stacked up. Daniels wife and his four kids are away for the night. It’s not a window of opportunity that arises often enough, and thus can not be ignored. Just need to wait for the lights to go off. That’s my cue. Breaking and entering won’t be an issue. Alarm code is 19611981. It’s practically an invitation. Not that I plan to steal or damage anything. I’m not a criminal. Literary terrorism is more my style. The pen is mightier than the sword. Although for this evening only, subtly will not be my calling card.

I’m here to send out a clear message to the chairman. His tenure is displaying stress fractures. Tottenham is nothing more than a broken metatarsal. From the sacking of Martin Jol to the present day, accountancy aside, it’s been a titanic tapestry of untruths and mistakes.

I’m inside now. Night vision still active.

Kitchen is a mess. Empty bottles of Dom Perignon. Beluga caviar. How can anyone eat this crap? Need to get the taste out of my mouth. Hello. Half drank bottle of wine. This will have to do. Chateau Mouton-Rothschild Jerobam. Can't pick this up at Asda. Prefer Blossom Hills fruitiness myself. Stack of boxes in the corner. Twenty, maybe twenty five copies of the Opus, all still wrapped up. There's another Opus on the floor. Signed by Didier Zokora. Looks like a door-stop.

Living room is as plush as ever. I like what he's done with the place. Cuban. Possibly West Indian mahogany. I can never tell the difference. And....oh.....my.....God, is that a La-Z-Boy?

50" plasma, wall mounted. Krell amplifier. Eggleston Works Ivy speakers. Wu-Tang Clan cd’s on the floor. Plenty of DVD’s too. Separated into different racks for each family member. How very OCD. Let's see what Daniel has in his collection. Ishtar. The Adventures of Pluto Nash, Battlefield Earth 2000, Arsenal 49: The Complete Unbeaten Record. Batman and Robin. Hudson Hawk. The Postman, Gigli. Showgirls....The.....hold on a damn minute! You sonofabitch. You son of a......wait till people find out about this. You’ll be finished, finished. Batman and Robin? Are you kidding me Daniel? It’s garbage. It plays out like a ridiculous parody of the tv show for crying out loud! I mean come on. Schwarzenegger ffs! He got paid $25M to stand around and make wisecracks. Scandalous. They should have given the role to Patrick Stewart. And as for that joke of a Batman suit with the nipples. I feel dizzy.......Breathe damn it, breathe. What's the point of having these fancy speakers and HD if you're gonna waste your time watching an absolute mess of a movie?

I can taste vomit in my mouth. Time to move on.

Only other room worth checking out is the study. Door is open. Forty maybe as many as fifty copies of the Opus stacked up against the wall. Framed picture of Joe Lewis. Stuffed squirrels on the desk. Quite a few post-it notes.

‘Freeze season tickets if we stay up. Increase them if we go down’

'Tell Appiah, thanks but not thanks'

'Possible re-work of club badge. Remove the cockerel?'

'Ideas for new stadium name. The Holsten Levy Dome, Levyville Nike Town, The Daniel Levy sponsored by Daniel Levy'

‘Book a new mascot for Sunday - Chirpy has gone missing’

There's also a laptop. Interesting. Wonder if he brings his work home with him. It’s locked. Windows Vista. Needs a password.

Jenasisgod61.

I’m in. Wallpaper is....looks like the FTSE100. World of Warcraft shortcut on desktop. One hard drive. Seems to have plenty of encrypted files. Requires another password to view them.

Opus61.

I'm in. Hmm. Just photo-shopped images of Tottenham players superimposed onto pictures of the Champions League and World Cup finals. Mock up newspaper headlines. 'Levy is the best ever'. 'King Daniel of the Lane'.'Sir Daniel Levy arise!'. Self-indulgent nonsense.

Maybe his emails will be of more interest.

Subject: Downing
“Hello Steve. It's that time of year again. £12M for Stewart. Let me know today if you accept. Willing to go up to £15M. You know me, desperate for a left-winger. You can reply to this addy or MSN me. Username is LL-Cool-D. I'm on Twitter if you need to track me down.”

Subject: Hello Mr Washington
“It's me. Mr Drove My Chevy. Need your help again. Things remain a struggle since you left. Damage limitation sucks, no? Haven’t got a clue who to purchase. Suggested to Harry we just buy back players we sold. Saves expenses and costs on scouting abroad. Also thinking I should just bid £15M for any names he mentions in tv interviews and see if we get lucky. Hope all is well with you”

Nothing news-worthy here. Time I get myself upstairs. End game is in sight.

And here we are. The master bedroom. And there he is. The chairman. So at peace, sleeping like a baby. It's a shame he will woke up to a nightmare.

I made you an offer Mr Levy. One that you can’t refuse. Stop humiliating the club with embarrassing DVD releases of score-draws and cheap merchandise and I’ll stop throwing frozen shit pellets at your car. But you ignored my letter. And refused my offer. You've left me with no choice. You have forced my hand.

I'm leaving you with my Pièce de résistance, tucked up beside you. Sweet dreams Daniel. Sweet dreams.

Mission complete. Night vision batteries running low. Exit strategy now in motion. Will be out of the mansion and off the property in 2 minutes and 59 seconds....58 seconds......57 seconds.....

Operation Severed Head over and out.

Tim Sherwood? Does anyone care?

2009-02-04T14:10:00.011Z

Robbie Keane has been back five minutes and he’s already made an impact. Such is the lack of leadership in our squad (and with Ledley King never fit) Harry has opted to make our returning son club captain. No doubt he will point, look up at the sky, wave his arms, shake his fist and shout at everything and anything including the slackers in the side. Whether any of them bother looking up to take note of our Robbie is altogether another thing. Because, you know. The players don’t care, right? What, you haven't heard? Have you not caught up on your weekly reminder about the lack of caring thing? Slacker. Get that Daily Mail delivered to your home, damn it!

It concerns me that we have to listen to people employed by the club, slag the club off. We have Tottenham forums and the tabloid columnists for that sort of lark. Even if the club deserves to be slagged off or be criticised, we do not need to have the main focus of sound-bites coming from manager and coaching staff (yes, I know…..Harry loves to talk, the irony burns).

I’ve never liked Tim Sherwood, and still don’t have much time for him. I’m not sure I understand the logic behind his employment as a part-time coach with us. How anyone can be part-time in football is beyond me considering it’s not exactly the most challenging profession with regards to hours spent in a working day compared to people who stand on their feet for 8 hours or sit in a office staring at a screen falling into a coma.

Whatever it is Sherwood does at the club as a coach is obviously not working, so I almost ignored reading his latest rant. I sucked in the vomit and went ahead with it anyway. What he says is common knowledge to anyone who watches Spurs. Players don’t care enough. You can’t disagree with it. We can see it for ourselves week to week. He cites that we are capable of defeating Arsenal on our day but fail to grind out results when it’s equally important (but not as glamorous as a NLD). Says the reason we looked at Craig Bellamy was because of his attitude towards winning. Keane does have a similar work ethic. So it does make sense to make him captain when our other choice is Jenas (Woodgate would have been my preference).

Finding myself in agreement with his viewpoint (even though its one shared by anyone following Spurs) still makes me ashamed considering he has spent the past few years slating us at every opportunity on TalkSport radio (he’s neither knowledgeable or insightful….so perfect match). Very bitter man. And I'm still not sure what he has to offer us exactly. If anyone knows what he does at Spurs, please let me know. The bloke has no experience as a coach, was not a great midfielder (should our players be inspired by his presence?) and is unprofessional (talks to the press far too much).

So, to reiterate, it's now a common occurrence to slag off our players and highlight their faults, week in week out, publicly. And it's not working as the results are not changing and the players are still not giving it 110%. All it serves is to pass the blame so everyone is in no doubt who should be blamed (at least from the perspective of the one doing the passing).

So how about working all this out behind closed doors rather than giving the red tops more headlines? Its tiresome stuff to see the same complaints repeated over and over again and yet no progress made. The reason we have managers and coaches is to man-manage and coach.

I expect Tim will be happy regardless. If Tottenham sink, he’ll go back to radio full-time and possibly publish his memoirs on the Titanic travesty Tottenham was in season 2009.

Spurs: The Reason they got Relegated by Tim Sherwood

Future bestseller on Green Street that.

Talking of travesty….Darren Bent. No, I’m joking. Look at his record.

It’s something like 14 goals in 30 games from 18 starts. He scored 8 goals last year as a sub. I might be one or two goals off (as I’m attempting to recall from memory) but still, that’s not too shabby, is it? On paper at least. So why is he much maligned? Well, personally, he doesn’t seem to play well when paired up front with another forward and he can go long periods (several games) without doing much in-game in the way of any thing productive on the eye. In a recent match he must of touched the ball 5 times in 45 minutes.

Which is why we tend to remember his misses more so than his performance and application. In a course of a game, he simply doesn’t seem to be involved us much as a Defoe or Keane or Pav. His Bolton cameo was a good one. Do that every week and we’ll go back to rating him much like we did earlier in the season. Fickle bunch we are. If things don’t work out, we can always flog him to Sunderland come the summer. Best moment of the window came after it actually closed from Ricky Sbragia who ‘tapped up’ Bent (yes, he did, according to Sbragia himself who accused Harry of the exact same thing in relation to us being linked with Jones) when he stated ‘we are interested’.

Er, Ricky…..if you’re gonna tap up a player you need to make sure you time it so that you actually stand a chance of signing the player within the window. Doesn’t actually have much of an affect after it.

The Dream is Over

2009-02-03T23:40:00.010Z

It's a great shame Andrei Arshavin has signed for Arsenal. I was hoping for a follow-up to his special guest blog but apparently his fitness level is of far more importance and alas, he doesn't have the time to spare.

He is however still able to provide us with a little off-the-cuff entertainment. Interviewed yesterday he managed to drop this wonderful straight-faced gem:

Interviewer: "Have you spoken to Roman Pavlyuchenko about your move yet?"
Arshavin: "No."
Interviewer: "Why not?"
Arshavin: "He's not a friend of mine."

He then followed this quip with something about inviting Pav round to his hotel room now that he's living in London. Don't go Pav. Its blatantly a trap.

So, anyway, as a concluding ode to the little man, let's enjoy his finest moments as complied by DoctorSpur (over at GG.co.uk).

8th July 2008:

"My dream is Barça," Arshavin said. "But to say that isn't new. The whole world knows that I have dreamed forever about going to Barça. Messi, Arshavin, Henry? Messi is very, very good and to play with him must be a marvel, and the same goes for Henry. What more can I say? I would love it. Barça is a team that can win 7-0 or lose 4-3 because their style of football is going on the attack. As long as I remember it's been like that and all that fills me with enthusiasm. "For that reason I've followed Barça closely for a long time."

http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/transfers/arshavins-heart-set-on-dream-transfer-to-barcelona-870741.html

8th August 2008:

“My desire to leave is still as strong, but there is nothing more to do now other than hope for a miracle."

http://www.clubcall.com/tottenham-hotspur/arshavin-wants-spurs-move-769102.html

"I also like the way Tottenham play, so I agreed in principle to join. A short while later a representative from Spurs arrived to discuss my personal terms and contract. The discussion didn’t take long and we agreed on everything quickly."

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/article1533111.ece

18th November 2008:

"Playing for Bayern is a dream."

http://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/european/arshavin-reveals-bayern-dream-1023609.html

10th December 2008:

"I can confirm that officials from Zenit have begun preliminary negotiations with Real Madrid about my transfer."

http://www.goal.com/en/news/1705/real-madrid/2008/12/10/1005326/andrei-arshavin-confirms-real-madrid-talks

3rd February 2009:

“I am happy to be [here] at Arsenal. It was my dream. “[I chose Arsenal] because I like their style and I like Arsene Wenger as a coach.”

http://www.thesportreview.com/tsr/2009/02/arshavin-arsenal-move-is-dream-come-true/

Arshavin, finally achieving his dream at the 5th time of asking.

Thank God we only have players who genuinely want to wear the shirt. You know, like Robbie Keane. And Pascal Chimbonda. And Jermain Defoe.

Cough.

Did the transfer window make you smile?

2009-02-03T11:10:00.018Z

I was snowed in yesterday and worked from home. I did take a moment to venture outside. I like the crunchy sound snow makes when you walk around in it. I built a snowman. It stood proud in the garden for all of ten minutes before Harry Redknapp and Daniel Levy drove past and offered me £15M for my creation. I accepted. Apparently he's a perfect replacement for Jermaine Jenas in midfield because he won't melt as fast when the spot light is on him.

Aaaaaaaaaand, I thank you.

Robbie Keane is back, making a mockery of Liverpool, Tottenham’s transfer policy and Keane himself. Yes, I know. We never wanted to sell him in the first place. It’s not been a pretty transfer window, has it? Or has it?

Re-signing someone we sold has been the general trend that Levy and Redknapp have adhered to this month. Financially we’ve written off a lot of debt (and the £8M more we spent to bring back Jermain Defoe cancels out the £8M we got from Liverpool for our Irish loan deal star). The whole sorry state of the Keane affair rests with the politics at Anfield between Rick Parry and Rafa Benitez.

“You want Gareth Barry? He’ll cost us £18M. I'm not bidding £18M for Barry. Let’s sign Robbie Keane instead for £20M. What’s that? You don’t want Robbie Keane? Tough. He’ll have to do”

You can't blame Keane too much. Boyhood dreams are hard to ignore. The obvious downside is that we’ve not had him for the past six months and his form and confidence is shot. Although if we had of kept him in the summer, re-signing Jermain Defoe from Pompey might not have happened. Then again we probably would have signed Defoe regardless. Even though both players don’t exactly have the best working relationship on the pitch, it’s doubtful Harry would have ignored the opportunity even if it doesn't make logical sense. He'll have to work out this particular conundrum in 10 weeks from now.

Defoe picking up a nasty injury (which did not apparently exist prior to him signing for us and occurred during an indoor training session) has more or less forced us into re-signing Keane.

10 weeks without JD means we could not afford to place all hopes on just Pav and Bent. And that Utd kid. Whatshisface. Fact is, as ridiculous as this whole back and forth transfer merry-go-round is and the added risk that Keane might not be the same player he was when teamed up with Berbatov there was no better option out there for us. Better the devil you know. He's scored over 100 goals for us. He has that urgency we need and he’ll hit the ground running, probably with the aim to appease the Spurs fans that are uncertain about his return and more so Liverpool and Benitez for letting him go so soon.

He’s still eligible for a winners medal (under PL Rule 22c) so he won’t be able to play in the game up at Anfield on the final day of the season if Liverpool are still in with a chance to grab the title. Major conflict of interest. But it’s far more likely he will play as Utd will have been crowned champions long before that game. Let’s hope we don’t have to win there to stay up.

Liverpool fan at work was positively beaming this morning, telling me to ‘…have your crap back’. That's £8M worth of crap, thank you very much.

As for the fans that are banging on about how we should have signed Arshavin in the summer. Well yes, possibly but Zenit are an atrocious excuse for a football club when it comes to dealing with payments. And AA along with his agent have managed to whore themselves across Europe waving their knickers and flashing anyone who dares to look in such a shameless and embarrassing way that the positive hype has been drained out of the whole affair.

Arsenal have completed the longest drawn out panic buy in Premiership history. The player is joining the only club that showed an interest in him, he’s that desperate for a big money move. Not that Arsenal are a bad choice if playing in England is 'his dream' for the week. If he reignites their push for 4th spot he’ll be just as happy as Wenger who will be hailed a genius for such an intelligent purchase. Where he fits in once they have all their players back is anyone’s guess, but here’s hoping he flops and Arsenal finish 5th. You know, for a laugh.

The BBC get their knickers in a twist

Class player, complete mercenary. Not convinced he would have been right for us considering we have Modric in the side. It’s bad enough that Pav had 5 months of Russian football behind him when he signed for us and is still not 100% match fit IMO. Arshavin is a player that would need to be bedded in softly softly. Maybe if he was signed in the summer it would have worked out ok. Still, he’s meant to be shit hot right? How many clubs lined up for him? I’ll shut up now. If he plays on Sunday, he’ll probably dick us.

Elsewhere, we tried to offload our £4.5M teenager dos Santos to Portsmouth for £7M (the logic here being a ‘healthy profit’ too good to turn down). The deal fell through due to the fact that dos Santos is not match fit and Adams requires players he can use from the off. I’ve spoken about this before. We have a culture at Spurs of dismissing young players without any respect for patience and development. He can’t be that bad, surely? Does Harry not rate him at all? Is Levy prepared to put this down as another dud buy from our departed friend Comolli? In fact, was he bought as ‘one for the future’? Considering he’s been out injured for a while and thus not match fit, why are we looking to offload him with such casual dismissiveness?

dos Santos was exceptional during his days in the Mexican U17 and U21 teams. He showed promise at Barcelona but in his final season was very hot and cold. They sacrificed him because of the wealth of young talent they have there (Bojan is outstanding and a far better prospect). Or did they know he flattered to deceive? A one-footed forward with no extra dimensions to his game. Maybe Harry simply doesn’t think he is cut out for the fight we have ahead of us. Confidence wise, it can’t be good for the young lad. Another ‘one for the future’ Tomas Pekhart has joined Slavia Prague on loan. And Gunter has gone to Preston for a month. I’m hoping our academy team (that continue to impress in all the world-wide tournaments they compete in) don’t disappear into obscurity when they all turn nineteen.

So. Defoe, Chimbonda, Cudicini, Keane, Palacios. Does Harry now have the proper players he requires to help balance the team and add depth to the squad? Appiah is still with us, and has another month of getting fit and proving his worth before we have to make a decision about offering him a contract. Even though we were meant to give him a decision a week back.

So was this January a success?

We needed a quality number two to cover and compete with Gomes. Done.

We needed a central midfielder. Preferably a holding or defensive midfielder. Combative is what we ended up with signing Palacios who has a bit of everything. Done, sort of (and it does mean that we might well have to rely on Zokora stepping up in that holding position).

We needed defensive cover. Chimbonda. Love him or hate him, we can now play Corluka as centre-back if need be. Pascal can play across the back four if called upon. Done.

We needed a striker. We re-signed Defoe. Done, but fate had other ideas.

We needed another striker due to DJ's injury. We re-signed Keane. We don’t have to concern ourselves just yet with how we plan to fit JD and RK in a starting line-up. I guess any striker signed would have had to be in the same mould as a Keane and Defoe, so we would have had the same dilemma regardless. So done.

But are we now defensively intelligent in midfield? Is Palacios the answer? What now for Jenas? Is the team (best starting eleven) now balanced from the back to the front? Can a team without a true left-winger work? Do we need a true left-winger? If Zokora is a Harry fav, then are we planning on sticking with the 5 in midfield and one upfront? Should we have signed a Crouchesque type of player (like we did with Kenwyne Jones)? Have we really improved the squad buying the player we need or have we opted for another round of scatter-gun bullet buys? Will Harry stop referring to the ‘we only had 2 points when I got here’ sound-bites?

Compared to some of the other clubs, and regardless of the fact we have re-signed players, we haven't done that badly in terms of bringing in quality. It's whether it all works out, second time around. Will the jigsaw pieces fit alongside the ones already slotted into the puzzle?

So many questions. All could be answered in 90 minutes this Sunday. Selection, formation, tactics, application. Harry takes 50% responsibility. The other 50% is down to the players.

I'm smiling. Nervously.

Today will be madness

2009-02-02T10:39:00.014Z

If you take a quick look around the message boards and Sports pages you'll find the following gathering pace:

Keane coming back
Lennon to Liverpool
Bent leaving
Quaresma on loan
Jenas to Inter

Bringing Robbie back is embarrassing. We are bailing out Liverpool and the player himself. If we lose Lennon as part of the deal I'll be absolutely livid with the club. There is no guarantee that Keane will be the same player he was without Berbatov by his side and let's face it. He must be a little bit damaged by the experience. Boyhood dream in tatters. I'd rather take the risk in whether Lennon will develop into a player with end product than wonder if Keane will be able to reclaim his past Spurs form. Aaron is also much younger than Robbie.

Bent leaving is a strange one. We love to hate Darren. Sometimes, he appears to do nothing in a game. But he does score. He's a bit fragile, so maybe not the right type of player mind-set we need at the moment. I'd still rather hold onto him for now. You know. In case of another injury.

Quaresma is also a strange one. Talented with plenty of unfulfilled potential. Never settled in one place. Is he built for a relegation dogfight? How long will he take to bed in? And if you want to believe that Jose wants Jenas in exchange as part of a loan deal, then this transfer window has officially been tagged as loopy. Apparently, according to Jose, Ibrahimovic is more of a team player than Quaresma. Ouch.

What concerns me is that we haven't looked to actually fill the gaps. I guess apart from the left-wing position, if the Inter lad signs.

"We need strength, big players" - We buy lickle Jermaine. Who was carrying a knock and might now have a broken foot.

"We need people who want to play for this club and know what it means to put on the shirt" - We re-sign Chimbonda. Good olde loyal Shimbomba.

"We need a holding midfielder" - We sign Palacios. Who has 'everything in a midfielder I want' but isn't technically speaking a holding midfielder. Add to the mix, Zokora who Harry wants to continue playing which would then mean that we plan to continue lining up with a 5-man midfield. And if that's the case......do we need to keep spunking so much on forwards?

I'm frustrated. As much as you are, I'm sure.

Arshavin has apparently flown back home today having arrived in London yesterday. Not that Levy would dare place a cheeky bid for him after the summer fiasco with Zenit. Did Arsenal ever stand a chance in signing him? Considering how tight they are and how money obsessed Zenit are.

As I type this apparently Liverpool want Saviola and Spurs are interested also.....but Spurs are willing to back off if the Anfield club give us Robbie. These type of transfer bluffs seem to be happening with alarming occurrence.

I've stuck some popcorn in the microwave. Snowed in. Sky Sports ticker day for me.

I hate football

2009-02-01T21:17:00.027Z

I hate football. There I said it.

One of the most obvious knee-jerks after a defeat such as the one experienced up at the Reebok is to hold your head in your hands and cry uncontrollably, wiping away the tears as you ask yourself:

“Why? Why do I care more than the players? Why can't the players care as much as me?"

Why? Well simply because we – the fans – are the heart beat of the club. We are the one constant through its existence. We retain the values and the ambitions that the club should be aspiring to. When players are long gone, we are still here cheering and singing and supporting the next generation to wear the colours. The history of the club is embedded within us from the first time we watch the team play and stays with us as passionately and obsessively throughout our lifetime. It’s religious in scope.

And we are all together in it. We all experience the highs and the lows. The emotions and the glory. The depression and the disgust.

"Triffic"

The reason we want to cry (or if you are too manly for Gascoignesque waterworks) shake your fists furiously at the teams abject display whilst using colourful language, is because we care so much it hurts and it hurts so much that we question whether our loyalty is misplaced. It’s a weak moment. One we always recover from. It’s sometimes easier to pretend to care less about something because it gives the illusion that you won’t hurt too much from the pain.

It’s part of our make-up as fans. Most of the time we complain and disagree with each other whilst we wait patiently (sometimes for decades) for something resembling true progression from the club before we all hold hands in unity. But that never stops us from wearing our hearts on our sleeves.

We simply love the club. Unconditionally. So when we watch a team display the same inept and dysfunctional quirks week after week, whilst the manager quotes excuses from himself from the previous defeat and the one before that, you begin to wonder why it’s so impossible for the players to react positively when the problems are so obvious?

We all know players don’t feel the same type of loyalty as fans do. That isn’t ground-breaking news. But self-pride should be evident enough. And yet its rarely evident on the pitch. Just in patches or certain games.

Other clubs have managed to capture this pride and spirit, and although some sides do not have the quality to see them achieve success others do have the quality and the combination is unequalled (see Man Utd for more details).

NLD up next. Shudder.

This crisis we find ourselves in wasn’t birthed this season. It’s been a long time coming. Our away form has been utter crap for years and years now. We never compete consistently away from WHL to really be able to drive forward as a strong side who could challenge for Europe every single season with comparative ease. Martin Jol, bless him, changed the status quo momentarily. What we’ve managed to do since has been well documented. A mish-mashed squad of individuals who struggle to form a cohesive unit. We entertain like no other club, on and off the pitch. But the main gripes are never sorted out.

Set-pieces, defending, balance of squad. Groundhog Day.

This is not just based on the Bolton result, where the score flattered us tbh. We did nothing much for 65 minutes and reacted far too late and only when Bolton relaxed. Once we made it 2-2, they woke up again and scored, thanks to help from us who sat back when we equalised. We appear to hold our own destiny in our hands every single week. Losing (I think it’s) four games away from home in the final minutes is pretty scandalous stuff. And the reason behind it?

Mental strength. Or lack of.

We have a deep-rooted psychological problem. We have players that want to play football, who want to play it about and score magnificent goals and buzz as the ball pings with neat and tidy one-touch skills. But it’s all plastic rather than gold because turning up and wanting to be great and wanting to play great is not enough. We – individually and as a team – need to want to win all the battles across the pitch like our lives depend on it. We need to clatter the opposition. Bully them. Show we mean business instead of all this limp excuse for spirit we witness most weeks. We need more Dawsons. I can’t believe I just said that.

We have no leader and we have no bully. Weak in mind, weak in soul. And this has been us for a while now. We change the manager, we change the players. And yet the same problem always exists. When mistakes are made, does anyone get angry about it? Apart from us, the mugs in the stands?

What was it Carrick once said about us? We have a culture of failure at Tottenham. He didn’t quite say that, but that was the gist of it. The players do not appear to hate losing. It’s acceptable. It’s ok. But it shouldn’t be.

The players have to stand up and show us 100% heart and passion. How many times has this been demanded this season alone, and they don’t quite do it? We know they can because we've seen it in one-off games. But alas again, that's the problem. Botheredness.

It’s easy for the likes of Utd where they win things every year to hate losing and therefore give it that extra 110% every week because defeat and failure is unacceptable for them – but surely at a club like Spurs which aspires to be a force in English football – should see their players strive to avoid being second best? Players at the club should arrive and understand that second best is not good enough for the club. We don’t have a Ferguson. But neither do most. So what is the point of being at Spurs? You can almost taste the importance and affect Davids had at the Lane, on the training pitch and in the first team squad. Hopefully Palacios will bring us something similar with his undoubted class. Whether he has the same fire in his belly that even an 'old' Davids had is altogether another thing. But then Wilson is not the same type of player that Edgar was.

Tottenham's midfield, with Lennon in the middle

Where is the intensity? That extra yard? That willingness and aggressive nature?

We didn’t show much up at the Reebok. Well done to Bent who has a pretty good goal scoring ratio this season, even though we sometimes wonder about his ability and application game to game. Shame on our defending, especially for the third decisive goal. And maybe this one up front business can be scrapped soon as it simply doesn’t work. Most of our lads had stinkers.

We are fast running out of games now. Do I think we are going down? No. Because we will do just about enough to avoid the drop, thanks largely to the fact that there are far worse teams than us. But I pray to God the players don’t have this very same thought. Look at our away fixture and who we have to visit between now and the final game of the season. It's daunting in places.

Arsenal at home next. Three points from six games during December through to Jan is almost as bad as what we got under Ramos. The results from the first 8 games of a season will not get you relegated – it’s what you do after that and we’ve done nothing other than skip through a honeymoon period that wasn’t followed up with a successful marriage.

Let's just avoid the divorce papers.

The sooner this window shuts, and Harry stops harking on about how many points we had when he joined the better. Had we not lost any of the last four away then we’d all be a little more happier now. But we did, and we’re not. The Preimer League is a joke down at the bottom, with all teams of equal poor quality. So there's no need to laser-remove your tattoos just yet.

I bet we give it a right old ding-dong go on Sunday in the NLD. Unbeaten against Big 4 opposition this season in the League (sums us up really). And we’ll be scratching our heads trying to figure out why we can’t dish out the same performance every week. Fingers crossed, hey?

I hate football. I could never live without it.

Let's just thrash Arsenal and worry about this relegation lark later.

Thanks to Dayo for the photoshop Redknapp pic. Visit this thread over at Glory Glory for more hilarity.

The Tottenham Revolution: Sign-up NOW!

2009-02-01T16:16:00.015Z

JOIN US TODAY!! (Hurry, as membership applications will not be accepted after the 2nd Feb)

Tottenham Hotspur. The Premier exclusive millionaire’s social club where men* can spend their week days showing off their new hair-cuts, tattoos and Louis Vuitton man bags to other members and then on the weekends get to have a bit of a kick-around to flex those muscles and sexy thighs and flick the ball around to their hearts content in specially organised football games. But don’t fret, if you don’t want to join in with the physical stuff you don’t have to. Remember, it’s not about winning; it’s the taking part that counts. Whatever you choose, it’s a perfect way to network so you can maximise your Facebook friends list so that there’s always someone to call if you fancy a little bit of nightclubbing, boozing, womanising or nights in playing Pro Evo.

*Membership for women is currently under review.

Obviously, not everyone can be accepted for membership. Ha, only joking! Nothing rigorous about our interview process so chances are you're already eligible for the thousands of pounds per week worth of benefits – which includes gym access, sauna, free lunch and coach travel to all the big cities (and even some of the small ones) across England and Europe* and still leaving you with plenty of time to hit the West End for those all important shopping trips with the WAG. You’ll also enjoy access to the main club-house in N17 and it's facilities. Feel free to turn-up whenever you fancy it.

*European tour for next year has been cancelled but plans are afoot for a complete revamp of our English destination hotspots. Stay tuned for more on this exciting news.

So are you good looking (or at least think you are)? Do you have pretty hair? Drive an expensive car? Obsessed with getting on the show-boat feature on Soccer AM? Then look no further than Tottenham. We are always happy to accommodate people who just fancy a bit of superfluous fun, and as we don’t really tie you down, if you fancy moving onto one of the other more regimental clubs out there we won’t stand in your way. But be warned, you won’t find anywhere else more relaxed and laid-back than us. No Ketchup limit here! And don’t forget we even make sure your name is down on the guest list for Faces. Yes, we take good care of our members*.

*All members have to adhere to the terms and conditions of their membership. We are happy to help with an transitional problems you may experience. If you fail to settle or simply want something more challenging and demanding we'll make sure your membership is transferred to a club of your choice if substantial compensation for the termination of your contract can be agreed to.

We also offer spending money in the way of vouchers which are transferred into sterling straight to your bank account on the strict guideline that it’s spent on your image and lifestyle, so make sure your hair highlights and shoes are yelling out ‘I’m rich and I love it!’

Come be one of the lads!

If you’re carrying a bit of a knock, that’s fine. That won't stop you from joining up with us. We’ll still let you get involved in all the activities*. And if you suddenly need a prolonged rest we’re make sure you are comfortable until you’re ok to join in again. Even if it means missing some of our more prestigious jolly boy outings to Anfield, Goodison Park, Villa Park and Old Trafford that might not be available as part of the travel schedule for our next calender year.

*We currently do not offer any development and improvement classes in specialist and basic skills or team building exercises.

If you’ve only just recently left us and fancy coming back we’ve also got special rates for returning members so make sure you don’t miss out! We understand the grass is not always greener on the other side and thus we are happy to re-accommodate you, which means you get all the benefits you had the first time round. It will be just like you’ve never been away!

If you’re not sure about whether we are the right club for you and you're having difficulties making up your mind, rest assured we have people that will make you at ease. We have the very best mediators in the business and offer fantastic compensation to your existing club to help with your move over to us. Our club chairman and our event organiser and manager will make sure any lingering voice in the back of your mind is exorcised in no time. We've been the talk of the town since 1961! Do not miss out on this big and great experience!

Yes, this is Tottenham Hotspur. The bean-bag of clubs. Sit in it, and relax! You'll just love it here!

What our members say:

"I'm here for the Wembley days out. Don't care much about anything else. It's a good laugh, innit?"

“It’s lovely here. I get to practice my star-jumps all the time”

“The gaffer is great. Really takes care of everyone. But I think he’s having problems with his club-card as he can’t stop complaining about it. I think it must have belonged to the previous bloke who only had two points on it. He's having problems adding more.”

“I’m a bit scared of the ball, so it’s great that I don’t need to header it”

“I’ve signed up cause it gives me something to do until I move to Manchester”

"It's brilliant. I highly recommend it. When we travel outside of London, it's great that we can always leave early to travel back home. Those extra couple of minutes make all the difference"

A review of this weeks defeat away to Bolton will follow shortly....

'These boots have bagged some goals'

2009-01-31T12:26:00.006Z

But are no longer required. Not for a while at the very least.

I guess this constitutes great timing from the webmaster of the official Tottenham site.

Click on this link and try not to shake your head despondently at the irony.

Raficulous

2009-01-30T22:22:00.008Z

Rafa Benetiz is angry. Apparently Harry Redknapp and Spurs are tapping up Robbie Keane. Tell you what Rafa, how about we return the 'donation' your club made to the Tottenham Hotspur Foundation and we'll take back the player and you can quietly admit to yourself that you haven't got a clue what it is you're doing at the moment.

(Arguably, neither do we.....)

It's now a trend that no manager is permitted to make any positive comment about a player who doesn't play for their club as this now constitutes 'tapping up'. I know Harry is a bit norty at times, but directly answering a question from a journalist about a player isn't exactly underhanded tactics is it? If we wanted to tap him up, we'd get Jamie Redknapp to make a massive phone call to Robbie and invite him round for some Mario Kart action and tell him that Spurs will have him back, embarrassing boyhood dream blotch included.

What Liverpool did in the summer WAS underhanded, which is why we got our little donation to the charity. What Liverpool are doing now is probably their way of making it look like Robbie Keane has been unsettled so that it's easier on them when they let him go. It's all Tottenham's fault, innit?

News in this evening that Defoe is out for several games (probably 3 weeks) even though the initial rumours suggested he had broken his foot and was out for the rest of the season. I've had 6 text messages already from suicidal Spurs fans. Still waiting on the official word, but I don't expect Spurs to say much until after Mondays transfer deadline. The more desperate we are to bring in a player, the more an opposing club will demand we pay. Keane or otherwise.

Karma Karma Comollion

2009-01-30T21:30:00.010Z

£170M spent in 3 years at the club whilst director of football. Instrumental in the sacking of Martin Jol and the appointment of Juande Ramos. Signed Younes Kaboul for £8M.

Damien Comolli, the quintessential director of football who apparently didn't realise how difficult it would be to break Spurs into the Top 4. An undiscovered tribesman in the depths of the Amazon would even know that dislodging the Cartel of Utd, Chelsea, Liverpool and Arsenal is a nigh impossible task for any club especially one that has never been a 'league' contender (two decent seasons at both ends of the 80's and that team from the 60's doesn't qualify as pedigree).

So, what has our dear departed friend been telling Sky Sports News?

Comolli on Berbatov

He stated what we knew already. Berbatov went on strike and was disruptive, affecting team moral. What Damien fails to answer is the underlying fact that Berbatov was itching for a Utd move after just one season at WHL. This has been well documented already and explains his (Berbatov) fall out with Jol. Fact is, everyone at Spurs knew he was going to go. Rather than just go out and sign someone or at the very least target a replacement months beforehand, we wait until the final seconds to hand him over to Utd. What Damien is suggesting is that Levy stuttered till the very last second.

I (in a moment of weakness) actually agreed with Levy's stance but his delivery wasn't clever at all. As a DoF what Comolli should have done is explain to Daniel 'I know nothing about football' Levy that the sooner we get rid of him the better. What part Ramos had to play in all this depends on what side of the bed he got out of as he has contradicted himself half a dozen times with his viewpoint on that particular saga. Telling us that Berbatov staying until the final day of the transfer window was a mistake is like watching your slice of bread burn in the toaster and then point at it and exclaim: Its burning! It's burnt!

Levy has stated that the reason there was a DoF was so that someone can take responsibility for the footballing matters. Levy's stance made it difficult for the Frenchman to do his job on this occasion. But what kind of club dithers in such a manner and thinks they'll get away with it?

Comolli on Zokora/Redknapp

This is a good one. Damien tells us that Pompey (and Harry) didn't rate and thus sign Zokora when he had a trial at the club and that now, Zokora is selected for practically every game under Harry at Spurs. It's a question of timing apparently. Whatever that is meant to mean. I guess he is trying to justify the signing and that its proving to be a good one. All it proves is that neither Comolli or Redknapp have a clue what they're doing when it comes to the midfield anti-general that is Didier.

Comolli on Nugent and Redknapp again

He has a go at Harry for signing a player for £6M and not playing him. Well Damien, how about signing several players for several million and having to play all of them because we don't have any f*cking decent players in the squad (you built) to come in and replace them?

Comolli on AC Milan

The DoF works well in Milan and has done for years. This is basically Comolli's pro-DoF argument. Comparing Spurs to Milan is ridiculous. We have not been run properly as a club from top to bottom with any type of style and cohesion for 30 or so years. I'm not referring to the money side of things. Add to the mix that England and the Premier League is not exactly a hotbed for DoF systems. Ask Fergie and Wenger to show you their trophy cabinet.

I don't have a clue how Comolli is getting on at his new club, St Etienne. We'll have to keep an eye out for the type of quality he signs and how they fair in the next couple of seasons. I'm sure he'll be keeping an eye out for us and how a traditional chairman-manager set-up works out for us.

I won't make any smart remarks until after the transfer window shuts.

Tomorrow is another day

2009-01-29T23:27:00.011Z

Appiah. Still no word. He played in a 4-4 reserve game yesterday (and played well according to reports) and was today meant to be meeting with Harry to receive the decision on whether we plan on offering him a contract. Either we still haven't made up our mind, or we have but we are not too keen on the money he wants paid for his services. Maybe by the weekend.

Talking of defensive midfielders...

Veloso is a player we were linked with in the summer and has been linked to both Utd and Arsenal, with a hefty £20M price tag for his signature. As you've probably been following, Bolton are interested. £12M is being quoted.

I asked a couple of fanatical Portuguese football fans about the player. They both gave me this look of......well actually, it was more of a shrug than a look. A shrug that simply said, 'Veloso? Meh'.

The problem with this guy (according to them) is he thinks he's the bollocks. Has a massive Beckham complex and simply isn't half as good as he thinks he is, and if he applied himself to football with 100% commitment he'd fulfil his potential. It was almost like they didn't rate him that much because of his attitude and arrogance and cited other players at Lisbon who are better. It would appear he frustrates supporters. But that's not to say he lacks quality. He has it in abundance. But quality alone isn't always enough.

I think if he joins Bolton he will probably stand out in a big way regardless (no disrespect to his team mates) and thus do no harm to his shop window value.

At Spurs, he would be one of those superfluous type of players we like collecting. Don't think he is right for us (one or two of our fans are asking why we are not interested) and the fact its Bolton and now Newcastle courting him, suggests that others are aware he has a lot to prove to warrant a big move to a big big club. If he comes to England, he'll probably end up in Spain or Italy a year or two from now. Does appear the player himself wants to stay in Lisbon, so maybe this is nothing more than an agent exercise to bag a new contract.

Elsewhere, SSN will be running an interview tomorrow with the legend that is Damien Comolli. Apparently he admits he didn't leave Spurs in a sorry state. This I got to see.

Robbie Keane. We've inquired about him. So basically we go from chasing a 'perfect foil type player' like Jones at Sunderland (tall and good in the air) for Defoe and then taking an alleged glance at Santa Cruz, to then asking Liverpool if Keane is available. Short Robbie Keane.

Pav, Defoe, Keane, Bent.

Hmm. For the sake of sakeness, let's pretend we get rid of Darren Bent.....who's our first choice partnership? Pav will play upfront which means Defoe and Keane will take turns. Can you see either of them being happy with that? I still refuse to accept suggestions that JD and RK can play up front together. Where is the logic in this signing? We need another striker but surely he has to compliment what we have already. So maybe Harry does intend to mix it up when it comes to who partners Pav.

I will also go mental (i.e. boycott the Spurs shop and protest nude in the South Stand) if Spurs consider giving Liverpool anyone in exchange. Keane mugged himself off leaving us to go up there. Rafa doesn't know how to use him effectively. IMO, the Anfield club should accept they f*cked up and see it as a very expensive and unsuccessful experimental loan. But I can't quite work out - selection headaches aside - if taking him back is the right thing to do. Lennon MUST STAY at Spurs.

Maybe while we are at it we can re-sign Ghaly.

Spurs transfer dealings according to 'club insiders'

2009-01-29T13:41:00.007Z

As a direct follow-up to my previous blog entry, I'd thought I share some perfect examples of message board In The Know information. As I referred to it earlier, the cryptic style is an art form I'm sure you will appreciate.

If you are interested, for further updates, visit the originating source for the complied and up to date list of current ITK information at www.spurscommunity.co.uk (put together by Stoff who collates the info from various sources).

Alternatively you can browse to Glory Glory which tends to have random ITK info copy and pasted from the more exclusive Spurs forums as well as Stoffs complied lists.

Both of these forums are open communities and are not exclusive (which I think FTL and COYS are).

I've left the info below in it's original state.

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[Update 70] Dragon1 on Lennon and Keane
Posted: Thu, 29 Jan 2009 12:11:33 GMT
who dragon1
date 29/01/09
time 10:52
site COYS

scousers wanted lennon for keano, we told em to do one

he is one of the few harry actually rates!

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[Update 69] jurgenthengerman on ?
Posted: Thu, 29 Jan 2009 10:29:59 GMT
who jurgenthegerman
date 28/01/09
time 17:56
site COYS

Levy is negociating three situations that involve additions one is a match (that involves a player going the other way ) two are straight additions subject to change !!!! Of these three two have a reasonable chance
Don t shoot

and

The road to redemption is very long with Harry

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[Update 68] Ben on Appiah
Posted: Thu, 29 Jan 2009 09:18:37 GMT
who BEN
date 29/01/09
time 09:13
site FTL10 AM TODAY

APPIAH GETS TOLD IN MEETING

IF YES OR NO

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[Update 67] Arigold on Keane, N'Zogbia and Hunt
Posted: Thu, 29 Jan 2009 09:17:23 GMT
who arigold
date 29/01/09
time 09:12
site SO

Big interest in Keane and either N'Zogbia or Hunt will sign, hopefully before Saturday. Hunt is waiting to see if we'll match two bids already in, but (surprise surprise) Reading are getting sick of dealing with us dithering.

Keane, as I've said for 6 weeks repeatedly, wants to come back. Liverpool are looking at other targets as well.

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[Update 66] Smudgemeister on Keane, Santa, WP and Appiah
Posted: Thu, 29 Jan 2009 09:16:13 GMT
who Smudgemeister
date 29/01/09
time 09:11
site FTL

Keane was never a target.

Harry looked at Santa Cruz but Rovers want too much (City in so Rovers want a bidding war and we aint going there)

Not terribly impressed with Appiah and not required now WP is on board